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heretohelp: Lots of things. There are entire blogs dedicated to it!
Halachically, there is no requirement to wear a black hat while davening. The Mishna Berurah says a person should dress respectfully, as per the standard of the times. He gives an example of a hat for his times. However, nowadays, where wearing a hat indoors is sometimes considered disrespectful (such as in a courtroom, during singing of the national anthem, etc), it definitely is not required for davening.
The only reason to wear one now is to show that you identify yourself as belonging to a certain group. If you feel like yo’re part of that group, wear the hat. Otherwise, don’t. But don’t make the mistake of thinking that it’s required.
Sam2: You said it perfectly about HaKatan.
I especially like his line that chassidus is “traditional” Judaism. Chassidus was established, as I’m sure most people here know, by the Baal Shem Tov. It’s been written that he began it when he was 36 years old, which was in the year 1734. So Chassidus is about 279 years old. That’s a far cry from the Judaism which was established at Har Sinai! Additionally, the Baal Shem Tov changed Judaism because he felt the common Jew couldn’t relate to Judaism anymore,because they couldn’t learn Torah very well, so he started a movement to try and bring Jews closer to Hashem in other ways.
It seems to me that the Besht was the one who was changing Judaism to try and “modernize” it for the people of his time. His de-emphasizing Talmud Torah was one of the main reasons the Vilna Gaon opposed chassidus.
Chassidus is anything but traditional Judaism.
HakunaMatada: Covering joints is actually not so simple. There is a question as to whether the entire joint must be covered, or just the top part of it.
I can tell you that R’ Teitz shlita from Elizabeth holds that sleeves must come down to the top of the elbow, but doesn’t need to cover the elbow itself (or at least his wife regularly wears clothing that is like that).
interjection: The fact is that Tzahal is made up mostly of Jews (there are a few Arabs and Druze members also), who risk their lives to protect ALL Jews living in Israel – even the ones who throw trash at them, and call them the worst names. R’ Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l once said that he went to daven on Mt. Herzel because he considered it kivrei tzadikim.
The Mi Shebeirach for Tzahal has nothing to do with politics. All it asks is for Hashem to protect these Jews who put their lives on the line to protect others.
ANONANO: I think you misunderstand the MO outlook on supporting a family.
It says “Im ein kemach, ein Torah”. We go to work to support our families so that we can live a Torah life. In my shul, there is a 5:30 AM daf yomi shiur, followed by Shacharis, so people can learn in the morning. There are shiurim every evening, often going past 10:00 PM. Supporting a family is not put above learning Torah – it is simply recognized as necessary. We don’t just insist that our wives work multiple jobs so we can learn – that was not the way it was done for thousands of years! Our parnassah is done so that we can live a Jewish life, not as an independent thing which stands by itself.
Posts like those from HaKatan sicken me.
I live in a Modern Orthodox community which also is home to a right-wing yeshiva and kollel. The yeshiva and the people in the community get along very well. There is a weekly chaburah, people have chavrusos with kollel guys, and there are Shabbos meal invitations sent both ways.
Contrast that with a community I used to live in which also had a yeshiva. The Rosh Yeshiva told the yeshiva guys that he didn’t trust the kashrus of the community Vaad (made up of the Rabbonim in the community) and they shouldn’t use it. He openly insulted the entire community and said everyone there is a tinok shenishba. Then he wondered why the community didn’t support his yeshiva.
I know which group HaKatan falls into.
HaKatan: Would you care to give some examples?
One last thing: I read something nice on Yom Kippur. There’s a collection of Divrei Torah that is printed up and given out in my shul every week. I enjoy reading most of it. It happens to contain a small piece from Avi Weiss most of the time, and I usually skip it. On Yom Kippur, someone told me to read it, as it has a nice story. I did read it, and enjoyed the story (although I didn’t necessarily agree with his message). Here’s the story:
One Yom Kippur a congregant of the father of the Hasidic movement Rabbi Yisrael Baal Shem Tov entered into the synagogue, prayed for several moments and left.
The rabbi was stunned. The congregant was well known in the community and had finished his prayers in such haste. “Why,” the rabbi asked him, “were you so quick?”
“I’ll tell you,” the man replied. “I felt that the prayer I offered connected to G-d. I sensed deep inside that G-d had heard my requests.”‘
“What did you say, “the Baal Shem Tov asked, “What did you say that made you believe G-d listened?”
“I admitted before the Holy One, blessed, be He, all my sins. I indicated that there were days that I missed prayer, and yes, as a butcher there were times I was not honest in measurements. Looking up to the Ark I said to G-d, “I’ll make a deal with you. If you forgive me, I’ll forgive you for all the pain that too often suffuses the world.”
The Baal Shem Tov looked at the man, embraced him and said. “Naarishe kind – foolish child, you had G-d by the coattails. You could have asked him to forgive the entire Jewish people, indeed the entire world.”
WIY: I know that. Here’s the issue. In order for your teshuva to be good, you must make a firm commitment not to do the sin again. If you say, “I’ll do my best, but I’ll probably slip up,” it’s not very good. You must have a firm commitment to stop.
On Yom Kippur, it’s very difficult for me to make a firm commitment, knowing that I will almost certainly slip up again, very soon after Yom Kippur.
I just said, “I know that I will probably slip. I’m trying my best, but the Yetzer HaRah is very strong. You know I am doing my best, and I will likely slip again. Please judge me on my effort, not on the outcome when I fail.” Then, of course, we ask Hashem for mercy, not strict judgement.
musser zoger: I believe it’s the Rambam who says there will be two parts to the times of Mashiach. In the first part, life will continue as it does today, with one big exception – it will be clear that Hashem is the only God, and everyone will accept that. We’ll have a Beis HaMikdash, and will do avodah, but there will still be a Yetzer HaRah, and we will (likely) still do aveiros. It will be comparable to the times of the 1st Beis HaMikdash (except with no other religions).
After this time comes Acharis HaYamim, which is when it says Hashem will slaughter the Yetzer HaRah and the Malach HaMaves. It seems that the time referenced in the davening is the 2nd time the Rambam mentions.
When I read through the Avodah part of davening, it makes me wish I could see the actual Yom Kippur avodah in the Beis HaMikdash! To see the red thread changing color, and actually knowing without a doubt that our teshuva was accepted? Amazing! Imagine the simcha of the people when they saw the thread change color! As much as I davened, do I know that my teshuva was accepted? Can I really be sincere when I said I won’t do an aveirah again, knowing that within a few days after Yom Kippur, I probably will slip up again? We never know for sure. But back then, they did know!
There’s a whole tefillah about how radiant the Kohen Gadol appeared when he left the Kodesh HaKadashim. To actually see it in person would be amazing!
When Mashiach comes, we will merit to once again experience Yom Kippur as the Torah says it, explained in the Gemara, and laid out in detail in our tefillos. Let it be soon!
It really depends on what the standard is, and what the expectations where at the beginning.
If it’s something that is a basic, required halacha (such as hair covering in 99% of cases), it is likely different than something which is a chumrah (such as always wearing tights, or wearing sleeves down to your wrists.)
In any case, when it comes to matters of religion, a Rav should be consulted. If it’s causing tension, it’s helpful if the Rav is knowledgeable in counseling. If not, ask him for a recommendation for a good counselor who is knowledgeable in halacha, as it’s a main part of the tension.
My Rosh Yeshiva, R’ Bender shlita, told me the following when I was engaged (probably not word for word): “Don’t get too caught up in chumros! I once had a talmud who got married, and had an issue. His wife decided to be machmir and always cover her hair even when they were alone in the house, based on the Gemara that says it’s praiseworthy for the walls of a house to never see a woman’s hair. She even covered her hair at night, sleeping in bed. What was the issue? The husband thought his wife’s hair was beautiful, and enjoyed looking at it. Her always covering it bothered him. They came to me for advice, and I told her that being beautiful for your husband and maintaining Shalom Bayis is more important that not allowing your hair to be uncovered when alone with your husband in the house. It’s a bigger zchus to make your husband happy!”
Of course, this applies, as I said, in cases of chumrah, not basic halacha.
So here are two different cases:
1: “They met when they were involved in the same conversation on an internet site. Their conversation went well, and they continued to talk. They took a while to get to know each other, and thought there was definitely a real connection. After a while, they got engaged.”
2: “Their parents thought it would be a good match. They sat down on a couch together with their parents for half an hour or so, and everyone spoke together. They then had half an hour or so to speak alone. They didn’t hate each other, so they got engaged. Then they didn’t see each other again until the wedding.”
Which case sounds worse?
The Daily News reported about kapparot yesterday. The had someone from Skver who was talking about the effects of the heat we had this week. It seems close to 2,000 chickens died in their crates because of the heat. When they are left out there without food or water to the point where they are dying, it is pure tzar baalei chaim! Things like this are the reason why I refuse to do kapparot with chickens – I want not part of the aveirah! Until these people clean up their act, we should all be doing it with money.
I didn’t have such a hard time other than feeling disgusting on Shabbos afternoon for not having showered in a few days. Yes, I felt like I didn’t want to each much. So Friday night I had a very small meal, with no guests. We put the kids to bed early (they’re only 5), and had gefilte fish and chicken soup. There was some chicken in the soup, so we had the meat as required for Shabbos. We had some other things on the hotplate in case we were still hungry, but my wife and I both agreed we weren’t hungry at all, just tired, so we went to sleep early. There’s no mitzvah to stuff yourself to the point where it’s uncomfortable!
Are you referring to Silbiger? According to Google, the address is 1769 51st St.
Cherry Coke Zero
R’ Schlomo Bochner and his staff at Bonei Olam were Hashem’s delivery men to give me and my wife our children.
According to their website, there are now 4,267 children who had Bonei Olam as their delivery people. While we wish nobody had to struggle with infertility, the amazing work Bonei Olam does makes it much easier to handle!
Wasn’t this story posted already last week?
ETA: Not even last week, just a few days ago:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/allegorical-story-the-children-fight-over-the-box
If someone (a non-Jew!) dares to drive a car down the street in some parts of Israel on Shabbos, people scream “SHABBOS!!!” and throw rocks at the car. They claim it’s to protect the kedusha of Shabbos. Yet a non-Jew has no chiyuv to keep Shabbos, and the land doesn’t need the non-Jew to keep it.
The Har HaBayis has kedusha within it, even when the Beis HaMikdash is not built. The Muslims build their mosques there and fill the area with their tumah. The Har HaBayis is holy, and yet we stand by idly while this happens to it! We should be ashamed of ourselves!
I personally have written letters to and spoken to Knessset ministers about the Har HaBayis. I’ve urged them to take control away from the Waqf and return it to Jewish control. I was laughed at.
An interesting note about Metallica is that in their early days, they were actually not into any really bad stuff. Sure, they drank lots of beer, but that was about it.
Their lead singer started drinking more heavily shortly after their bass player died in an accident, when their tour bus flipped over from a patch of ice. When that happened, their music changed drastically, and many fans complained about the new style.
After years of heavy drinking and substance abuse, he went to a rehab facility and turned his life around, and they’re making better music than they have in years. Not everyone who likes metal follows that “lifestyle”.
I’d love to have some Jewish metal to listen to – and not that trash Metallish, which was just Jewish songs played with electric guitar. I mean real thrash metal, with Jewish lyrics.
Burnt Steak: I also know people who went to school with David Draiman, but I don’t know much about his teen years other than what is written on Wikipedia.
It should be noted that he is a strong supporter of Israel, and speaks out strongly against all anti-semitism. There are some celebrities who think it’s “cool” to collect Nazi memorabilia, and he has bashed them for it. The Jewish spark is alive and well in him! Let’s hope it grows further!
There’s a difference between not liking something and having to forgive someone for doing something halachically wrong.
No, because any government money you get is a gift. They have no obligation to support you. If you don’t make enough money, either find a second job, have your wife find a job, or cut down on your expenses.
The financial difficulties don’t come from him. Hashem allocates a certain amount of money for you no matter what the government does. If it’s not enough for you, daven for Hashem to give you more.
So Torah^2, you basically want everyone to see things the way you do, and respond to posts you feel are inappropriate in the same way that you do?
You need to work on your anivus.
How about possible answers to “Does this make me look fat?”
I won’t eat turkey.
Not because I’m extra machmir. I just can’t stand the taste of it!
I think there are a few issues here.
In this case, the “meat” was grown from stem cells, not from nothing. I’d assume the stem cells need to be from an animal that is kosher, and was properly shechted. If it’s not, wouldn’t that make the meat treif?
The thought of buttel b’shishim occurred to me. However, doesn’t the rule only apply when the small amount doesn’t affect the taste of the final product? In this case, the entire product is based off of the small amount, so it definitely has an affect on it. Would we say buttel b’shishim applies here?
After my proposal, she reacted by saying “Yes!”
Then she started laughing. We didn’t call family right away – we wanted some time to ourselves to talk without our phones ringing every 10 seconds. Our families knew I was going to propose, so it wasn’t like they were left in the dark.
Joseph: You don’t know of gedolim who got divorced? R’ Malkiel Kotler wanted a divorce, but his wife wouldn’t take the get.
I believe R’ Shlomo Feivel Schustal got divorced (although he remarried.)
And don’t forget the founder of the Beis Yaakov movement, Sarah Schenirer, was divorced twice!
rebdoniel: you compare yourself to the Sridei Aish, because you think you can’t connect with anyone on an intellectual level? LOL!
When I rented an apartment, we had the mezuzos we inherited from the previous tenant. We had them inspected and found they were kosher but not mehudar at all. The sofer said he’d say 2 of them were kosher b’dieved. We replaced all the mezuzos with mehudar ones.
Shortly after, we bought a house. We got lucky that while a Jewish tenant was taking over our apartment, the landlord wanted to do a lot of work there first, so we were told to take the mezuzos with us. We needed more than what we had in the apartment, so I called my uncle who is a sofer and asked him to get me some. He lives pretty far from me, but luckily, we moved in May, and a co-worker of mine was visiting his in-laws for Pesach, who live near my uncle. He brought them back for me.
It turned out we mis-counted the number we’d need, and were one short. I put up one of the old non-mehudar ones temporarily, and ordered one more mehudar one. When it came, I switched it. I gave the others to a Rav who told me he could use them to give to people sometimes when they needed them quickly.
DaasYochid: I finally got ahold of that album, Mesorah! My sister found a copy of it in my parents’ house. The quality is spotty in a few places, and part of the last song gets cut off, but I’m still glad to have it! If you want, I can have Feif email it to you.
Just bring up all the brands, and tell the cashier to check the prices on them. Keep the one you want, and let the owner put the other ones back on the shelf. When he’s restocking his shelves every five minutes, he’ll realize he should use price tags.
Tisha B’Av is not just about the churban Beis haMikdash. It’s about all the suffering Jews have had through the centuries, even until today. It’s about what we’re missing – the fact that we don’t realize exactly what the Beis haMikdash means is what it’s about as well! We mourn that we are in golus. Eichah yashvah badad – we sit alone.
My Rav told a story of a man whose wife died in childbirth. Every year, he would sit his son down and tell him the story of how his mother gave her life to bring him into the world, and what an amazing person his mother had been.
One year, on the yartzeit, the father sees the son in shul, mumbling kaddish. The father was furious! “This is how you repay your mother? By barely mumbling kaddish? Do you know what an amazing person she was? How can you do this to her?”
The son responded, “No, actually, I don’t. I’ve heard from you about my mother, but I never experienced it for myself. How can you expect me to appreciate her fully? I wish I had met her and gotten to know her, but unfortunately, that couldn’t happen.”
This is our situation. We don’t fully understand our loss, because we didn’t experience the Beis haMikdash. But we can mourn the fact that we didn’t see it, and that we still haven’t seen it.
Mourn for what you can understand. Those who lost relatives to the Nazis yemach sh’mam. Those who lost friends or family to the Muslim terrorists. We mourn all the tragedies on Tisha B’Av.
May Hashem soon wipe away all our tears, and may we never know tragedy again!
golfer: Maybe he’ll be a b’chor, and will be able to do avodah then.
midwesterner: Even if it’s machlokes, it had no point here other than to insult those who keep Yom Ha’Atzmaut. It definitely is not made up – as you said, it’s a machlokes, and there are many Rabbonim who keep it.
Let’s not get into a debate during the 9 days about it.
Tzom Gedaliah is very different than Tisha B’Av. We don’t keep hilchos aveilus on Tzom Gedaliah.
So you’re asking if anyone will do it, not knowing if anyone will, and saying we need to get our priorities straight? Why don’t you first find out if anyone is planning on going before saying something? Maybe our priorities are already straight!
I happen to have “won” in the drawing for All-Star Game tix. I had my code to order tickets. But when I realized the date was Tisha B’Av, I gave the code to a non-Jewish co-worker so he could go instead.
Do you approve of my priorities?
HaKatan: R’ Yaakov Kaminetsky said in 1967 that is was a neis. He also said Shehecheyanu and Hodu when it was announced that the IDF had taken control of the Har HaBayis.
I guess you think he was an apikores also.
truthsharer: And they did it in secular court! Should we all go and do to them what they did to Weberman for going to secular court?
Satmar these days is one big chillul Hashem.
No, excuse me – 2 big ones!
gavra, I agree with you. Cindy needs to go find a job – as do Chareidim.
rebdoniel: So you have no problem saying that a get may not be valid when most Rabbonim hold it’s fine, but when some Rabbi claims the entire marriage is voided, and there’s no get at all (not even a questionable one), you think it’s fine and won’t lead to any mamzerim?
As for the Rambam school being mixed, R’ Schachter has said that R’ Soloveitchik had it mixed out of necessity. There weren’t enough girls to allow for separate classes, so he mixed them. It was to only be temporary until the class size grew. He said that other schools asked R’ Soloveitchik about it, and he told them NOT to mix the classes, they should remain separate.