DaMoshe

I’d suggest Darchei Torah in Far Rockaway. They do require a white shirt, but the Hanhala is extremely patient, and they work with every student to bring out their full potential. R’ Bender is second to none!

scroller: I believe we pasken like the Gemara which says a father must teach his son a trade, not like R’ Nehorai.

My wife tried all types of herbal things for it. It didn’t help. We ultimately needed IVF to have our twins.

Infertility can be caused by many things. If you’ve been trying for a while and haven’t been able to get pregnant, go see a fertility specialist. If you want names, I can give them to you, but I’d need to know the general geographic location you’re in.

A very important thing is not to go to a regular OB/GYN for this! Many of them end up doing more harm than good when it comes to infertility.

kneedeep: I wasn’t writing it about mannster, I was writing it about another post – whether all men are pigs or not.

It seems there is always a problem with tznius. Tznius is a changing concept, because a large part of it is based on the norms of society. As the norms change, what is considered to be tzanuah changes also.

BookWorm120: Thank you! Unfortunately, it’s not just a few people. I remember years ago listening to a tape from Rabbi Orlofsky about platonic relationships. He says they can’t work because all men are pigs. People tell the story of the Chofetz Chaim and how he said he was affected by seeing women when he was in his 80s. There were threads here about it. Maybe if you shut yourself away and never have anything to do with the opposite gender, then you won’t know how to handle it when you must have some contact. Thankfully I was not closeted away, and I learned how to deal with women respectfully, and control myself.

oomis: I have a younger brother who’s still single…

I know the 3rd one is from the Marvelous Middos Machine, the Ga’avah Song. I don’t know the first two.

DaasYochid, do you want to give up on my previous one? Or do you want some more time to look?

DaasYochid, I listened to it again, on better speakers, and I will concede this point – I now believe you are correct. To enrich and enliven.

DaasYochid, I listened to it again, in slow motion (where did I get that from?). I stick by what I said before – it sounds like “to enrichen and liven”.

DaasYochid, I just listened to it to see what the words really are. It’s tough to make out, but it sounds like “To enrichen and liven”, not enliven.

bump!

DaasYochid, do you know the last one I posted?

This is the story of the famous Ani Ma’amin tune, which MBD sang on Once Upon a Niggun (I think it was that album).

Although he was centered in Otvoczk, Rebbe Shaul Yedidya Elazar of Modzitz had Chassidim throughout the major towns and cities of Poland. One of these was Reb Azriel David Fastag, who became noted for his exceptional voice throughout Warsaw. Many came to the shul where Reb Azriel David and his brothers, who were also blessed with lovely voices, would daven on the Yamim Noraim [High Holy Days]. Reb Azriel David was the ba’al tefilla [led the prayers], while his brothers accompanied him as a choir. His crisp, clear and moving voice had a profound effect on all who heard him.

He lived simply, supporting himself from a small dry goods [clothing] store, but his happiness and fulfillment came of another source – the world of Negina. His moving tunes made their way to Otvoczk, where his Rebbe, R. Shaul Yedidya Elazar appreciated them immensely. The day a new niggun of R. Azriel David’s came to the Rebbe was like a “Yom Tov” for him. [One of his most memorable compositions is “M’heira Yishama,” a wedding tune.]

Dark clouds began to cover the skies of Europe – the clouds of Nazism. In spite of the terrible decrees, the yellow patch and the ghettoes, most Jews could not fathom what was about to befall them. Only a few “read the map” correctly and managed to escape the clutches of the Nazi occupation to safe havens. One of them was the Modzitzer Rebbe, Rebbe Shaul Yedidya Elazar, whose Chassidim made a tremendous effort to save him. As the Nazis entered Poland, the Chassidim smuggled him out of Poland to Vilna [Lithuania], and from there he made his way across Russia to Shanghai, China, eventually arriving in America in 1941.

Meanwhile in Poland, tens of thousands of Jews were being ‘shipped off’ daily to their death in cattle cars that were part of the railway system. Aroused from their warm beds in Warsaw, husbands were separated from their wives, children from their parents. The elderly were often shot on the spot in front of their loved ones. Then the Jews were gathered and sent off in these trains to a place where their existence would no longer trouble those dregs of humanity known as the Nazis – to Auschwitz, Treblinka, Majdanek, etc. What did it look like in one of those cattle cars of the “death train”?

What could one expect to find other than people in their death throes – gasping, sighing and crying? One could hear the stifled cries of children, crushed together and trampled upon by the spiked boots of the evil, cruel Nazis.

However, in one such car, it seemed like a “tone” of life managed to emerge from these crushed people. What – people on their way to the slaughter, singing??? Is this not some cruel Nazi joke? Let us look a bit closer…

An elderly Jew, wrapped up in his ragged clothing, his face white as snow, makes his way over to his neighbor on the death train, begging him to remind him of the niggun the Modzitzer Rebbe sang on Yom Kippur for the Avoda, to “Ma’areh Kohen.”

“Now – now – all you want to know about is niggunim?” answered the other, with a hard look at the Chassid, thinking that maybe all the suffering had caused him to lose his mind.

But this Modzitzer Chassid, Reb Azriel David Fastag, was no longer paying attention to his friend, or to anyone else on the train. In his mind, he was at the Amud HaTefilla [prayer stand] next to the Modzitzer Rebbe, and it is he who was the baal tefilla before all the Chassidim.

Suddenly, before his eyes, the words of the twelfth [of thirteen] Principle of Jewish Faith appeared: “Ani Ma’amin b’Emuna Sheleima, b’vias HaMoshiach; v’af al pi she’yismamaya, im kol zeh, achakeh lo b’chol yom she’yavo – I believe with perfect faith in the coming of the Moshiach; and even though he may tarry, nevertheless, I wait each day for his coming.” Closing his eyes, he meditated on these words and thought, “Just now, when everything seems lost, is a Jew’s faith put to the test.”

It was not long before he began to hum a quiet tune to these words. Amidst the heavy atmosphere of death and despair on the train, Reb Azriel David’s dveykus [attachment to Hashem] took him above it all.

“How can one of us be singing at such a time?” wondered his fellow Jews on the train. And with such a sweet voice! It must be, that from Heaven they are accompanying us, in mourning, to our death… But listen, what is it that they are singing? You’re about to be slaughtered, shot, poisoned or burnt and what are they singing? — I believe!!!”

The Modzitzer Chassid was completely above it all, a pillar of song, bringing out of his bloodied lungs the song of his life — the song of the eternity of the Jewish People. He was unaware of the silence in the cattle car, and of the hundreds of ears listening attentively in amazement. He also didn’t hear the voices as they gradually joined his song, at first quietly, but soon – growing louder and louder! Meanwhile, he made sure to write out the notes of the newly composed song…

The moving tune, with its holy words, had penetrated the hearts of the Jews on the train, and had joined to the pure emuna [faith] in their hearts, which burst out from them in the form of this great song. The song spread from car to car. Every mouth that could draw a breath from those congested cattle cars, filled with live “corpses” and pungent with the odor of people crowded together, joined in a piece of “Ani Ma’amin – I believe.” It became a wonderful, amazing symphony unto itself.

An elderly Jew, close to his death, asked for an explanation. His neighbor screamed to him, “We’re singing the Jewish People lives – chai – lives! You too, sing with us – the Jewish People lives, Ani Ma’amin!” Closing his eyes, the elderly Jew clenched his fists and sang with his remaining strength – “the Jewish People is alive, I believe that Moshiach Tzidkeinu [the Righteous] will come quickly,” and expired.

As the train neared the death camp, the railway workers wondered: from where is this amazing song coming? Could the Jews be singing their own burial service tune?

As if waking from a dream, Reb Azriel David opened his eyes to the sight of the singing train. His eyes were red from crying; his cheeks, wet with tears. Deeply moved, he yelled to whomever would listen, “My dear brothers! This niggun is the song of the Jewish soul. It is a song of pure faith, for which thousands of years of exile and troubles cannot overcome!”

Then, in a choked voice, he continued, “I will give my portion in Olam Haba [the World to Come] to whomever can take these notes of my song ‘Ani Ma’amin’ to the Modzitzer Rebbe!”

A hushed silence descended upon the train. Reb Azriel David lifted himself up by the ends of his thumbs, searching through the crowd that surrounded him. Two young men appeared, promising to bring the notes to the Modzitzer Rebbe, at any cost. One of them climbed upon the other, and in the small crack of the train’s roof that only he knew of, made a hole from which to escape. Poking his head out under the open sky, he said, “I see the blue Heavens above us, the stars are twinkling and the moon, with a fatherly face, is looking at me.”

“And what do you hear?” asked his companion.

Turning white, the young man answered, “I hear the Ministering Angels singing the Ani Ma’amin tune, and it’s ascending to the seven firmaments of Heaven…”

Bidding farewell to their brothers and sisters on the train, the two proceeded to jump off, one after the other. One was killed instantly from the fall, while the other survived, taking the notes of the song with him. He eventually found his way to Eretz Yisrael [perhaps to the Rebbe’s son, the Imrei Aish, who was in Tel-Aviv], and the notes were sent by mail to Rebbe Shaul Yedidya Elazar in New York.

Upon receiving the notes and having the “Ani Ma’amin” niggun sung, the Rebbe said, “When they sang ‘Ani Ma’amin’ on the death train, the pillars of the world were shaking. Hashem said, ‘Can it be that My Torah is a fraud? No! But whenever the Jews will sing ‘Ani Ma’amin’, I will remember the six million victims and have mercy on the rest of My People.'”

It is told that on the first Yom Kippur that the Rebbe sang the “Ani Ma’amin,” there were thousands of Jews in the shul. The entire Kahal [congregation] burst into tears, which fell like water into the pool of tears and blood of the Jewish Nation. The tune soon spread throughout Klal Yisrael [world Jewry].

“With this niggun,” said Rebbe Shaul Yedidya Elazar, “the Jewish People went to the gas chambers. And with this niggun, the Jews will march to greet Moshiach.”

I buy candy to give out to children in my neighborhood. If R’ Pam zt”l could do it, so can I. My non-Jewish neighbors are very nice to me. They’ve helped me out on Shabbos, like when my Shabbos clock didn’t work correctly during the summer and my AC was off, with 8 gusts coming over for lunch. My neighbor turned it on for me. Once when I was sick, coming off a surgery, and a neighbor saw me getting into my car to go pick up my medication from the pharmacy, he told me, “You just had surgery! You can’t go! I’ll pick it up for you!” And so he did.

If R’ Pam saw nothing wrong with giving out candy, I can do something for the children of my neighbors, to make them happy. My kids know that we don’t celebrate it, but we’re still nice, decent neighbors, who can give out candy to those who do celebrate it.

One of the most amazing people for hachnasas orchim in Brooklyn is my former menahel from high school, Rabbi Trenk. He lives a few blocks from there – I believe he’s on East 9th.

I’d rather not post his contact info here, but you should be able to find out about him. His hachnasas orchim is unparalleled!

Burnt Steak: We try to stick to Jewish music here. If you want to Rise Against the tradition, feel free to try. Just bear in mind that your post may become a Refugee, with nobody wanting anything to do with it.

I once had a discussion with R’ Bender about mechanchim. He said the following (probably not word-for-word, but the ideas are right):

“When you were young, most Rabbeim didn’t really know how to be a good mechanech. Why would they? There was no such thing as training to become a Rebbe. Because of the Holocaust, we lost a tremendous amount of our Rabbeim. In the US, most people from that generation were working to support their families. How many people were there who could actually teach children in learning? Most people couldn’t learn by themselves, never mind teach others! Yeshivas had to search for someone when they had an open position, and very often, the people they’d find, while they were talmidei chachomim, didn’t know much about chinuch.

Baruch Hashem, that has changed! There are many more people who know how to learn! We also have classes now to teach people about chinuch, to properly prepare them to become a Rebbe. When a yeshiva has an opening, there are often dozens of applicants, and the yeshiva can choose the best mechanchim to fill its positions!

So the question is, what about the Rabbeim who have been doing it for years? Some of them never had the training, and may not be as “good” as some of the younger, newer, Rabbeim. Yet we must have derech eretz for them, and hakaras hatov for their years of service. They can’t be pushed out!”

Just from my own experiences, I can tell you that many of the Rabbeim I had as a kid were not very good mechanchim. I’ve been through tough times myself, and others have had worse – Feif Un has told me things he went through (and he’s posted some of them here) which are terrible!

But I can tell you that when I went to a yeshiva like Darchei Torah, where R’ Bender carefully chooses every Rebbe, the difference was like night and day. The warmth I felt from every Rebbe there was amazing! I formed relationships I still cherish to today. I am in constant contact with many of my Rabbeim from there. This is the value of a good mechanech.

While everyone is saying this girl is crying out for help, that may not be the case. Do you know what her family is like? Does her mother wear pants regularly? If that’s the case, and the parents don’t care if she wears pants, then you have a big problem. Parents must reinforce at home what is taught in school.

I think there needs to be a meeting with the parents, and some things might be said which they find unpleasant. If the school is BY type, and the parents don’t care if she dresses in pants, they should be asked, “Why are you sending her here?” Make it clear that the school has certain standards that she must adhere to. Explain that if the mother wears pants, the girl will only be conflicted as to what is right. It may be that the school is not the right place for her.

If the parents are not aware of what she’s doing, and want her to shape up, then just discuss with them what is going on. Ask for their assistance. Maybe something is going on in her life which is causing her to lash out? Parents and teachers need to work together.

One other point which occurred to me as I was typing this is her other teachers. I assume you’re not the only teacher she has? Have you spoken to the other teachers to find out if she’s acting the same way with them? If it’s only with you, then you might need to talk with the principal and try and figure out why that may be.

Possums and many other animals have a natural aversion to mint, especially peppermint. They make special garbage bags which are infused with a peppermint smell, which I’ve been told are very effective at keeping animals away. You can also buy peppermint oil and soak some rags with it, then place them around your property.

No, Chagim are not meant as a time to visit family and friends. It’s a time to get closer to Hashem. Rosh HaShanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkos are all just a build-up so we can rejoice together with Hashem and the Torah on Simchas Torah!

Halachically, there is no requirement to wear a black hat while davening. The Mishna Berurah says a person should dress respectfully, as per the standard of the times. He gives an example of a hat for his times. However, nowadays, where wearing a hat indoors is sometimes considered disrespectful (such as in a courtroom, during singing of the national anthem, etc), it definitely is not required for davening.

The only reason to wear one now is to show that you identify yourself as belonging to a certain group. If you feel like yo’re part of that group, wear the hat. Otherwise, don’t. But don’t make the mistake of thinking that it’s required.

HakunaMatada: Covering joints is actually not so simple. There is a question as to whether the entire joint must be covered, or just the top part of it.

I can tell you that R’ Teitz shlita from Elizabeth holds that sleeves must come down to the top of the elbow, but doesn’t need to cover the elbow itself (or at least his wife regularly wears clothing that is like that).

ANONANO: I think you misunderstand the MO outlook on supporting a family.

It says “Im ein kemach, ein Torah”. We go to work to support our families so that we can live a Torah life. In my shul, there is a 5:30 AM daf yomi shiur, followed by Shacharis, so people can learn in the morning. There are shiurim every evening, often going past 10:00 PM. Supporting a family is not put above learning Torah – it is simply recognized as necessary. We don’t just insist that our wives work multiple jobs so we can learn – that was not the way it was done for thousands of years! Our parnassah is done so that we can live a Jewish life, not as an independent thing which stands by itself.

HaKatan: Would you care to give some examples?

WIY: I know that. Here’s the issue. In order for your teshuva to be good, you must make a firm commitment not to do the sin again. If you say, “I’ll do my best, but I’ll probably slip up,” it’s not very good. You must have a firm commitment to stop.

On Yom Kippur, it’s very difficult for me to make a firm commitment, knowing that I will almost certainly slip up again, very soon after Yom Kippur.

I just said, “I know that I will probably slip. I’m trying my best, but the Yetzer HaRah is very strong. You know I am doing my best, and I will likely slip again. Please judge me on my effort, not on the outcome when I fail.” Then, of course, we ask Hashem for mercy, not strict judgement.