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☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
Dy,
I think that Hashem knows a persons true motivation and his past precedent solidifies that (if a person wants to give tzedakah at any opportunity possible)
Of course He knows (even without past precedent). It was a rhetorical question. I think the person buying the lottery ticket “l’shem shomayim” is fooling himself.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantAsking Hashem to let you win so you can help mosdos, tzedakah etc…. is asking to be zoche to be a great shaliach MItzvah.
There are lots of wonderful mitzvos. You are suggesting we ask for the zechus to be able to perform one which allows us to keep 10% of hundreds of millions of dollars, and expect Hashem to be fooled ch”v into thinking it’s l’shem shomayim?
☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant@ Participant,
The first song on the first Uncle Moishy record.
January 17, 2021 2:22 am at 2:22 am in reply to: Can you erase my messages I mean your messages, I mean my… #1939398☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantNow do you understand the concept of how some things are meant to be momentary but we use texting which is a great way to send material, but the drawback is that its saved. Would that also be an “odd” request on your part to ask them to delete it?
Yes, it would be odd.
January 17, 2021 2:22 am at 2:22 am in reply to: Can you erase my messages I mean your messages, I mean my… #1939396☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantWhat if you sent someone a funny video of yourself to cheer them up for the moment they were sad, but now it is saved forever and can possibly circulate elsewhere?
You should have asked not to forward it. Even if you didn’t, it’s fair to ask later on not to forward it. That’s not the same thing as asking to delete it.
January 17, 2021 2:22 am at 2:22 am in reply to: Can you erase my messages I mean your messages, I mean my… #1939395☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantBut its not about who owns it, its the fact that its your content.
No, it’s not your content. Rephrasing “you own it” to “it’s your content” doesn’t suddenly make it true.
January 17, 2021 2:21 am at 2:21 am in reply to: Can you erase my messages I mean your messages, I mean my… #1939392☕ DaasYochid ☕Participantyes you dont own the messages which are on the other phone, however who does own them?
Nobody
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantWhy is it about having kids? It’s either science based or it isn’t
I’m not sure what you mean by science based. I don’t think weighing the potential risks of covid vs. the damage done to children when they are deprived of school is a scientific question. I think someone with kids might be able to appreciate the second side of the equation better than someone who doesn’t.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantAAQ, that whole discussion has no bearing on this question.
Here, you didn’t create covid.
Even if in the past you were irresponsible for not minimizing your exposure, that has no bearing on the vaccine, which prevents one from getting dangerously ill from a future exposure.
The discussion you referred to might apply to a person who intentionally or through irresponsibility got very sick from covid and survived. Applying it to the vaccine doesn’t make sense, as Syag seemed to say.
January 14, 2021 1:07 pm at 1:07 pm in reply to: Can you erase my messages I mean your messages, I mean my… #1938718☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant-quite simple, ubiquitin wanted to share with us that he can only think dirty.
No. You brought that up, not Ubiquitin
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantAn imam a priest and a rabbit go to donate blood. The rabbit says, “I think I’m a typo”.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantAsk New York that question in regards to the vaccine, teachers can get it but grocery store employees can’t (yet)
They can. From the NYC vaccine finder site:
“Who can get vaccinated right now?
Currently, the vaccine is being provided to people 65 and older, teachers and education workers, first responders, public safety workers, public transit workers, grocery store workers, healthcare providers and staff with direct patient contact, emergency responders, staff at COVID-19 testing and vaccination locations, home health aides, and long-term care staff and residents among others. Click here for more details on the groups currently eligible for the COVID-19 vaccine.”January 13, 2021 8:51 am at 8:51 am in reply to: Can you erase my messages I mean your messages, I mean my… #1938305☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantRegarding the OP, I don’t think you “own” the messages you’ve sent, and I think it’s a bit odd to even request they be deleted, but it might be appropriate to tell the person you sent it to that in retrospect, you wish you hadn’t sent it.
January 13, 2021 8:50 am at 8:50 am in reply to: Can you erase my messages I mean your messages, I mean my… #1938304☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantUgh, why did this conversation turn nasty?
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantWhy are grocery store workers “essential” when it comes to lockdowns but not when it comes to vaccinations?
Who says they aren’t?
☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant@yt that wasn’t my idea
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantMaybe the following is an idea. Draw up a contract in whihc you commit to give away 90 percent of the post taxes winnings to Tzedakos all over the world. Designate percentages for Yeshivos, Chesed organizations, yechidim etc. WRITE IT OUT> Sign it in fornt of 2 witnesses, give then copies, tell your kids you wrote such a contract so you are diminishing g the chances of the Yetzer orah creeping in. Then buy it and say Tehillim that the mosdos need you to win.
I’m not sure I get this. Hashem doesn’t need your help. Of course, if you become wealthy, you should give a lot of tzeddah (if I may disagree with Uncle Moishy) but I don’t get the making a deal with Hashem part.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantSyag, that was indeed the biggest reason I posted
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantI guess you can consider the title misleading, although I mostly chose it because it sounds good.
When I was a kid, and there was a food fight (stopped by rebbeim yelling “Bal Tashchis! and “Bizui Ochlin”, or teachers yelling, “There are children starving in third world countries!), it was friendly.
Anyhow, regardless of whether the mechutanim were angry, and regardless of how much money is at stake, I still think it’s a legitimate question what the breakdown should be.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantDY-What was the order of events in which this machlokes came about? Was the Kallah side originally planning on spending extra on the sushi alone? Did they have a conversation in which the kallah side agreed to spend extra only if the chosson side agreed to split?
The kallah’s father suggested to the chosson’s father that they should take the pre-kabbolas ponim food option so that the younger family members can eat at a normal time. The chosson’s father said he agreed that it’s a good idea, and that they should split it. The kallah’s father responded that he will pay the two thirds line the rest of the chasunah.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantWhat’s a charcuterie board?
Overpriced salami
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantSo they’re arguing on which side shouldn’t donate more to “simchas chassan v’kallah”?
These extras don’t really add much to the simchas chosson v’kallah, so no, but that’s really the point anyhow. I was addressing your point that Covid taught us we can have chasunas in the backyard.
Sure, you can, and we did, but it’s still not l’chatchilah to have a chasunah with a bare minimum minyan and no friends.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantI’m told that Telegram is dangerous from a ruchniyus point of view.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantBottom line extras is paid by whoever suggests it
The other side wants it just as much, and they both agreed to pay their share. The debate is about what is the fair share.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantTell whichever side you can that for a couple of hundred extra bucks (a drop in the bucket of wedding expenses),
Easy enough to tell someone else how to spend their $.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantAlso what Covid has taught me is that you can still get married even without those things in a backyard with only ten people and they’re arguing about a (שטויות (ששית
Cute pun. Yes, the kiddushin is chal, but There’s a reason people make big weddings (besides the cynical showing off reason) – a big chasunah gives simchas chosson v’kallah.
So if the chasunah can be made safely, it’s proper to make a normal chasunah (admittedly the $2000 is over the top, but see my comment to Ubiquitin.)
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantWas any conversation held previously?
Previous to what?
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantSince the kallah also wants the extras and the catering is paid by her side, the extras should also be paid by her.
The chosson(‘s parents) also want it.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantIt isnt part of the wedding. followign the wedding split makes no sense.
The counterargument would be that on an ordinary night they wouldn’t be ordering this food, it’s obviously only because of the wedding.
Only reason to differentiate would be if one side is much bigger than the other say Chossons side is twice the size of the kallah’s side.
Probably true, and that’s probably true even for the ikar catering as well – if they go over the minimum because the chosson’s side is bigger, they should pay the extra.
In this case, the families eating before the smorgasbord are probably relatively similar in size.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantSince the kallah also wants the extras and the catering is paid by her side, the extras should also be paid by her.
But see Ubiquitin’s point that it’s not really part of the wedding
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantI changed some of the details to protect my friend’s privacy, so don’t get caught up on the details. (That’s the “moshol”, Ubiq)
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantThanks I’m trying to understand how Trump can be viewed as innocent
There’s a huge gap between being “innocent” and incitement.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantNo, and for that reason the justice department said they weren’t pursuing it
Thanks for the honest answer.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantSo apparently now the question is which is better, Telegram or Signal.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantThanks all for your responses.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantDrive to the nearest Target and pick up some bags of chips and some candy bars. Everyone will be happy, and I guarantee you it will be cost much less than $2K.
The catering hall doesn’t allow outside food. That’s also not very healthy, and to hey need some real food.
☕ DaasYochid ☕Participantrule 2 – which side has more money ,
I don’t know, and I doubt they shared their bank account with each other. I don’t think that’s the point though. Even if the chosson’s parents were wealthier, the minhag is for the kallah’s parents to spend more on the chasunah (although I’ve heard of exceptions)
☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant3. context & flexibility; there are 2 general rules , different people spend money on diff. things because to”THEM” its important and worth it so for one mechutan sushi is more important than a lady photographer.. and to the other a nuttery station in NECESSARY – so whoever really wants it pays the extra & do it besimcha
They both want it.
☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant2. and for what sushi & salami?? its true that people coming for kabolas panim need to eat something its supper time people drove in… but these are not the filing items like sesame chicken & rice…
I thought charcuterie boards had regular deli too. But I’m not a maven.
☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant1. so the chossons parents are arguing over $ 350 – after the kallas side is paying an extra approx 5000 ?
It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the matter 😉
Whether the minhag should be to split in half is a good question to debate, but it isn’t, and they’re not arguing on that point. Also, they have other kids so have been or will be on the other side of that unequal sharing minhag in other cases.☕ DaasYochid ☕Participantit is split the same way the other chasunah expenses are.
I assume you mean 2/3 to 1/3.
Would you say the same if they picked up chips and candy bars from Target? Or is this only because it’s coming from the same caterer?
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantNo one’s right since there isn’t any norm for this issue.
Ok, but what should they do?
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantI think Biden’s plan makes sense. One of the reason the states are so sluggish in giving out the vaccine is because of their silly prioritization rules. If they had more vaccines, they would just give it out to whoever wants (as, in my opinion, they should already be doing).
By the time the second dose is needed, there will have been more doses produced, so hopefully everyone can get their second dose regardless.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantCalm down. Cleaver said awomen was just a pun.
To save face
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantHow can anyone answer this without being told who he’d be running against?
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantUbiquitin, is that legally incitement?
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantI wasn’t trying to blame either of you, just that the thread comes out as insensitive IMHO.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantI don’t like this thread.
I think that right after a family suffers from a nanny causing a brain injury, it’s not the right time to discuss the wisdom of having a nanny.
I similarly didn’t like the fire safety discussion in the immediate aftermath of a family suffering from a tragic fire.
There have been other similar threads on the heels of a tragedy, and it somehow feels to me that the victim is being blamed.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantAs far as the OP’s question, even if we were to assume (which we shouldn’t) that there are any cr responders whose opinion should be followed, there is clearly not enough information here to answer.
☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantYou are obligated to fulfill your Kesuba from the moment you get married.
Just like any other monetary obligation, the other party (the wife in this case) can be moichel.
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