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20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. (I did this one like three times today!)
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “in.”
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write “for smuggling diamonds”
7. Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy.”
8. Don t use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, rock bottom.
17. When the money comes out of the atm, scream “i won, i won!”
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “run for your lives, they’re loose!!”
19. Tell your children over dinner. “due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity……. Send this e-mail to someone to make them smile.
It’s called therapy.
I KNOW the Inauguration was on January 20th.
The first Jewish Holiday after inauguration day is Chanuka, but anyways!
If he would have parked the car after his day of work and left the child in the back (R”L) then I could understand. But, I don’t think the Taxi driver must thoroughly check his car after each stop. This sounds a little(?) crazy.
aries2756: You are 100% correct!
And don’t drink and drive, you might spill your drink!
No, seriously, people MUST make sure that those who drink DO NOT GET BEHIND A WHEEL OF A CAR (or in front, like some drunkards like to do!)
Have a fun, safe Purim!!!
chofetzchaim: I searched online for the info but couldn’t find it. Thanks!
chofetzchaim:
“All of the Abie Rotenberg compositions sung by Shwekey are great. One of my favorite is Eternity from Oorah’s 2006 CD”
If I remember correctly, Abie Rotenberg’s daughter composed Eternity.
And yes, it is a beautiful song!
Talking about age gap (I do not read these Shidduch posts, but want to mention something), Avrohom was 10 years older then Sarah, Yitzchok was 37 years older then Rivka, and my other set of grandparents I’m not exactly sure about, but the AGE GAP didn’t seem like a problem to them!
Everyone seems to think that The Coffee Room has Smicha. If you can’t get an answer here, try looking it up in one of Rabbi Art Scroll’s many Halacha Seforim.
Talking on a cellphone while driving is dangerous.
Many people are walking in the street today because of the snow-filled sidewalks. I understand that the sidewalks are slippery and hard to walk on. However, the streets are also slippery and hard for drivers to drive with pedestrians walking on the sides of the road. Better to walk on the slippery sidewalk then get hit by a SUV!
By the way, if you walk on the street, you risk getting sprayed by cars.
77: you got some explaining to do (:-))
Memories from MBD is a beautiful song. It reminds me of my grandmother.
about the square pizza boxes, someone (bored soul!) invented a pizza box that the top comes off (perforated lines allow you to tear the box apart) and splits into 4 to make 4 plates. Then the bottom of the box folds in half to store the extra pizza. Its called the Green Box.
EDITED
Hi again! Last night, Avraham Fried’s Don’t Hide From Me was stuck in my head. I happen to love all English songs.
~ Mama Rochel!
~ Shema
~ Forever One
~ The Time Is Now
~ Hold On
~ Jerusalem Is Not For Sale
~ Neshoma
The list goes on and on!!!
speaktruth: You speak the truth! We try not to give our students a hard time when they are out. But if it is a daily occurrence, it is very hard. Figuring out a system to allow the students to get their required medical care, therapy AND class!
Avraham Fried’s “Don’t Hide From Me” is an amazing song!
I work in a Yeshiva where we have therapist coming in and working with those children who need it (SP, OT, PT, Counseling). The students are taken out of class to get their mandated services.
Now, sometimes, a teacher will ask a therapist to take a student at a different time due to an important lesson being taught or a test being given.
However, there a some students that miss many days of school for doctor appointments. We understand that kids need to see a doctor once in a while. A child is not feeling well, we recommend that he go to his doctor.
But what about that child who misses one day a week, two days a week for doctor appointments? It is very hard on a Rebbe and teacher to teach a full lesson when you have students who need to catch up every other day!
I was looking through the old topics on the CR and found this one. This is the problem with rumor/truth stories:
mroosinsehry said: “i know someone who’s sister’s friend…”
Lets look at this statement a little,
“i” = person 1
“know someone” = person 2
“who’s sister” = person 3
“‘s friend” = person 4
This type of “story” is common. This story was past from person to person. Now, I’m not saying whether mroosinsehry’s story is true or not, but did you ever hear of the game Telephone?
tzippi, please explain yourself!
After hearing Baruch Levine and Yaakov Shwekey sing together on Vezakeini (Track 4, V’hoo) and by the HASC Concert, I think the two should come out with a CD together. Not a Wedding album but singing new songs together. I think they sound perfect together. Agree?
I posted a story that happened to my family on another thread. We were saved by Tehillim and a siddur. To read the full story, click: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/hashgocha-protis#post-86556
The story is the last post on the page.
If you are using a Windows computer (Vista or 7) there are Parental Controls in the Control Panel / User Accounts.
I dont have time right now to walk you through set up nut maybe a different time
jphone: with the Treo/Centro the calender is very easy to use, much eaiser then other non-smartphones.
dunno: I looked there but it I don’t see any “Call Blocking”. If anyone knows how to do this, please let me know.
TorahMom: Iv’e been using the Palm Treo with Sprint. I like it a lot. I can not get on the Internet. I called Sprint and they put a block on it. The same is true for the Centro (by the way, you can get the Centro from Sprint, with an upgrade and a new 2 year agreement, for only $29.99! [GREEN ONLY]. The Centro is the same as the Treo just a smaller phone, screen and buttons.)
I think that the Pr?, Pixi and Treo Pro are all made for the Web and will not work so good without the internet.
Anyways, to get a BB, Pr?, Pixi or Treo Pro without internet would be stupid. I say you look into the Treo or Centro. There are lots of applications you can put onto them to make them work “smart”. Hatzlacha!!
striving: of course its a good idea, I said it!
I saw an ad for a Pest Control agent, and on the bottom of the ad, it said:
“We Specialize in Mother-in-Laws”
I apologize, “Cntrl+Scroll” DOES NOT work on Davka (4.0, it may work on later editions)
I also just realized that on Windows 7, “Cntrl+Scroll” on the Desktop screen will make the icons get bigger and smaller. The same is true in folders with documents, pictures, icons ect.
I’ll try it
I am looking for a app that lets me block certain callers (free please!)
What Mod 80 mentioned works for all (I think) browsers and for many applications, Microsoft Office (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Publisher etc.) Davka, Adobe Programs and more. Test it out!
To Mrs. Chayala (Hartstein)Neuhouse (or someone who knows her…),
Maybe you can contact someone in the music industry to get this song on a CD. From all the above posts, this song sounds like an amazing piece of art! How about someone like Yaakov Shwekey sing it on his next album so that men can hear it too? Just an idea (and hope something comes out of it!).
by the way, the above message I took off of Microsoft Answers (thats why it mentions “as shown in the attachment”)
Good Shabbos, Gut Chodesh un Ah Git Zummer!!
I would suggest to you use Quick Launch. Oh, but they took that out of Windows 7, didn’t
they? Well, no, it’s just hidden!
Quick Launch allows you to pin whatever you want to it. And, the beauty is,
you only have to click once to open your folder, app or doc. I’m usually
working on several projects at the same time, so one click is much better
than the (at least) two clicks to get to whatever’s pinned to Windows
Explorer. Especially when I’m going back and forth.
So, here’s how to resurrect Quick Launch:
Right click the taskbar, ->Toolbars ->New Toolbar. A new window will pop up;
in the folder selection dialog, enter the following:
%userprofile%AppDataRoamingMicrosoftInternet ExplorerQuick Launch
Now, right click the taskbar and uncheck ‘Lock the taskbar.’ Right click on
the divider and uncheck Show Text. Right click the divider again and uncheck
Show Title. There should already be some icons on the new Quick Launch. Grab
the Divider bar and drag it to the far left of your screen (may take several
tries) as shown in the attachment. If you have to, just run right over the
icons for Windows Explorer, Internet Explorer and Media Play. Conversely,
you can also drag the divider for these to the right.
plaid: Thank you! I just found that little box. I then came to the CR to let everyone know how to do it, however, you beat me too it! Thanks again!!!
I took “Show Desktop” off my WinXP computer using a flash drive and placed it on my Desktop. Does anybody know how I can “pin” it to the Taskbar?
1 year ago everyone was talking about “Windows 7- The new Windows” but now that its out, no one is talking about it!
WARNING ABOUT WINDOWS 7 and GOOGLE EARTH:
I upgraded to Windows 7 and tried to install Google Earth 8 on my computer. While it was installing, my screen starting getting fuzzy. Even after install my computer was acting funny. I quickly uninstalled, however it was still happening. I shut down and now my computer is felling better B”H!
Does anybody know how Google VOic “makes up” phone numbers? And this is what I mean:
When somebody sends a text message to my Google Voice number, I get a text on my phone from a number usually starting in area code 406… and in the message box, it says the person’s phone number. Now, if I CALL that 406 number, it will call the person who sent me the text and my Google Voice will appear in his caller ID.
I want to know how I can figure out what Google usese to make up that 406 number so that I can call or text people using my Google Voice number.