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Mazal Tov and best wishes from the entire CR chevrah and indeed the state of CT.
I strongly suggest that whatever new name you take on, you also include your former title of CTLawyer. Think about X formerly known as Twitter. Have you ever seen anyone refer to it as just “X”? No one who know what you are talking about (hence the brilliance of Elon Musk!) May I humbly suggest that you name be something like” ____ formerly known as CTLAWYER”.
CT will miss you.
It may also be worthwhile for those relying on tzedaka for matza to explore whether using hand matzas for the entire holiday is worth it. Yes, it is a nice chumra if you can afford it but it may not be the best use of tzedaka funds to support a super chumra. I understand that there are shitos that consider machine matzos to be chometz, but if that is not your mesora, it falls into the category of chumra.
I recommend speaking with girls just a little bit older than you who know you and know the different seminaries today. My impression is that most seminaries are very similar and the differences are very slight (assuming you stay within the yeshivishe ones). Your school should also be able to help somewhat, Strangers who don’t know you don’t seem to be a very good resource for making life decisions (especially very expensive ones).
Avira: Get it straight, Ner Israel never had college classes on campus. Never. Boys do get college degrees-off campus. The yeshiva helps them to use yeshiva credits to finish faster. If you consider learning gemara, rishonim and poskim and getting college credit for that then you would be correct.
However, that would be the same for most yeshivos today including BMG. Guys have been going to college in Ner Israel (off campus) just as long as guys in Chaim Berlin and Torah Vodaas.And by the way: there are a lot more boys in BMG currently enrolled in college than Ner Israel.
I find it so strange how people make rumors with no basis to reality and accept them as fact.
Who says you are halachically allowed to attend a live concert?
Did anyone notice the connection between this post and the complaint about the $111 dozen donuts?
Concerts and super luxury donuts are not a right for every person. We have a nation of “haves” and “have nots” which is nothing new. The problem we have as a society is when the have nots think they are entitled to everything that the wealthy have too. Although certain activities may have been more available to everybody a few years ago, perhaps this is G-d’s way of telling you that “you don’t really need this”Aviradeah: Please explain your statement. What does Rav Ruderman have to do with college in the same building as a yeshiva? There is no such thing in Ner Israel and there never was.
I think that rumor started in the same place that said Jews have horns
UJM: I don’t understand why you are confusing Rav Slovetchik the man with YU the institution. Rav Aharon also had an issue with Ner Yisroel in Baltimore allowing boys to go to college bec. he felt it would be better to be in learning full time without anything else. Rav Aharon would speak very strongly against it. That does not mean that he treated Rav Ruderman with the slightest bit of disrespect. He held Rav Ruderman in the highest regard. He may have disagreed with Rav Slovetchik on more issues but he still held Rav Solovetchik to be a gadol shebisyrael.
Even the other gedolim who taught in YU may also not have agreed with the hashkafa of YU the institution but that does not change their gadlus. Do you have an issue with R. Shimon Shkop? Rav Dovid Lifshutz? etc.
Another point to keep in mind is that while Rav Solovetchik may be seen as the leader of modern Orthodoxy that does not mean that he agreed with all that MO created. In fact he fact a bigger kanoi on a lot more than the public attributes to him.
Anyone who speaks badly about a bona fide talmid chacham is playing with fire.
There are a few important points here
A) there is a difference between learning someone’s seforim and how we address or categorize gedolim. Before anyone here denigrates Rav Kook or Rav Yosha Ber Zt”l first ask yourself how the gedolim of their time treated them. My understanding is that both were revered tremendously by the other gedolim of their time (ex. R YS Sonnenfeld and Rav Kook, R Moshe and R. Aharon with Rav Yosha Ber). Some gedolim may have seen a danger in what their philosophies may lead to but they held these “questionable” gedolim in the very highest esteem.B) The danger posed by various philosophies changes over time. I think most people would agree that haskala is not a major threat to Orthodox Judaism today. It is just not where the yeitzer hara is investing right now. So too with religious zionism of the 1920s and modern Orthodoxy of the 1950s
C) UJM’s classification of “gedolim” is way off base. To put Avi Weiss, Saul Leiberman and Rav Kook in the same boat is lunacy.
I don’t think pride is the feeling that should be evoked. Pity is more appropriate. These are tinokos shenisheu. It should make one take a step and recognize the immense power and talent that has been endowed to klal yisrael. We excel in everything that we do both for the good and bad. You would be surprised when you look at the genealogy of the majority of Hollywood actors and actresses. If I had to make an estimate I would say that over 50% have either a Jewish mother or father. Imagine if all that raw talent was used to serve Hashem instead of Hollywood.
We are fortunate that a few have not sucked into the anti-israel left but that is a very small consolation to the tragedy of the fact that they represent a symbol of how many of our brethren we have lost to assimilation.zahavasdad
UJM is making a good point but the question still stands. Do you really think that most families are earning a total of $150k per family? (This is the figure that several authors have posted a frum family needs to get by)
It would seem that UJM’s observation would seem to be correct. Homes are built more luxurious than in the general public, stores in Jewish areas charge top dollar for products (clothing stores, baby items, take-out food establishments etc.), excess income to support married children, lavish weddings etc.Is it true that only a few poor shnooks are the ones struggling to get by (and the “haves” are generously supporting the “have-nots)?
I think the consensus answer is “it depends”
A nice follow-up question would be “how many families are actually earning this?”
Most articles that you read in Jewish periodicals say that the average frum family needs a minimum of $150k to get by. Has anyone conducted a survey in the Chareidi population to see how many are making this much? Is it possible that the average frum family is underwater?
More than anything else I am glad to see CT Lawyer back in the swing of things in the YWCR. Baruch rofeh chloim and may your recovery continue and be complete.
Hopefully now we can get some more intelligent discussions going and boot the trolls that have recently been lurking in our sacred space.
Perhaps, but we do need to advise Romain on how to get spell check on his computer and possibly a grammar check too.
Ask the other way-do frum people in Israel do anything to draw anger and hatred against themselves?
Do the frum people in Israel ever say thank you for all the support they receive for yeshivot?
It is very easy to play the victim card. It is harder to look in the mirror and ask what you can do differently
There is no such thing as more bechira or less. It is a yes or no question. It is not even a question that of course all humans have bechira. (bechira for angels is a harder question).
It may be harder for some people to choose right over wrong but that does not mean more or less bechira. It is also harder for some Jews to choose right over wrong. If a Jew grows up in South Dakota and never met a frum Jew in his life it will be very difficult for him to chose and decide to follow the Torah. Someone with a physical handicap is also challenged in different ways. No one would say a Jew in a wheelchair has less bechira than his friend who is not.Sons is lav davka. The mitzvah is “vehigadita lebincha” which applies to daughter too.
A better question is why we don’t make a drasha to say “lebincha vlo lbnosecha” like we do by the miztva of learning Torah?
I did not say religious level-YO said that. There is a big difference between that and affiliation. Perhaps “societal religious affiliation” would be more accurate.
We all choose how we want to dress and that choice is a reflection of how we want others to view us and with whom we want to afilaite. Someone who wears ripped jeans and a t-shirt is making a statement that he would like to affiliate with a certain segment of society and someone who regularly wears a suit and tie also makes a statement. It is the same with yarlmukas. If a person wears a white kippa seruga he makes a statement and if he wears a big or small one he is also making a statement as to how he would like to be classified. These are self classifications. If you wear the yarlmuka of gerrer chasidim or those of Toldos Aharon chasidim that is also a statement.I agree that anyone who would try to judge a person closeness to G-d, his level of Torah knowledge or yirat shomayim by looking at his kippa is and idiot bec. he thinks HE is G-d (i.e. only G-d really knows this stuff).
It all goes back to the same principle of the OP- we choose to affiliate and label ourselves with the group that WE choose. If a Livak wakes up one day and decides to become a Chabad chosid that will be his decision on which society he would like to affiliate. Hopefully most people decide to label themselves based on the path in avodos Hashem that he feels he can best accomplish his own personal mission in life and achieve his greatest potential.
We do not HAVE to make labels but it seems that people like to make them for various reasons I am sure people can add to this list but here are a few thoughts
1. People like to feel like part of a club. If everyone else in the club is good I must be good too. If I am a Yankee fan and the Yankees are doing well I must be a winner.
2. It helps us categorize things in life. The same way we deal with all people we meet. You meet someone and try to decide if you want to get close to them. You slap a label on their forehead and say in your mind “you are a nerd, greasball, frumak, JAP, rich, weird, smart, black, cool, bad dresser etc. and therefore I will or will not associate with you”
3. It is easier on the brain. When you read an article or listen to a speaker, you don’t need to think about the points they make. You can just label the writer or speaker by saying that he is a liberal, a frummy, chasidishe, not frum, etc. and therefore I do not need to consider the intellectual points he is making.
4. It gives us a sense of identity to make us think we know ourselves
5. It gives us a false sense of pride (e.g. “everyone knows that Yekkes have the most authentic mesorah and therefore I must be doing the right thing)
Labels are not used exclusively by Jews but it could be that we rely on them more than the rest of the world and that our labels are much more detailed than any one else. Try explaining to a gentile that you can judge a person’s religious affiliation by looking at the size, material, color of his yarlmuka. He will think you are nuts
I think you need to chill out a bit.
Yes, it is a modern term that stems from a label. Labeling is not a new invention and in the previous generation, we just had different labels. For the last generation, they created labels based on country of origin(Litvaks, Yekkes, Morrocan, Galicianer), city of origin (Brisk, Warsaw), or religious/philosophical affiliation (Chasidishe, Conservative, Mizrachi).
As time goes on less people care about these labels so we created new ones. Essentially the label “yeshiva world” is based on self-identification. There are also degrees of how closely a person will want to affiliate with his chosen label. This will be demonstrated in his dress, manner of speech and other external manifestations.
Keep in mind none of this is related to a person’s personal Judaism which has solely to do with his/her closeness to G-D.I disagree with Orangecountychapper. That mindeset of leaving “non-emergency repairs to the professionals” is what sends many people to have work done by the repair shop in the dealership which costs double or triple the price. I am not saying that everyone can do every repair but you would be surprised how much you can do on your car (and at home) by watching a few youtube videos. I think the rule is to know your own limitations and time constraints.
huju: Yes you are correct that there is a high cost of living but you have not proven that it is not sustainable. The last 50-70 years actually prove otherwise.
I don’t know if it proves anything about the smell of your shoes but I am grateful to commonsaychel for sharing that line (I am surprised I never heard it before)
Yes it is a metter of pikuach nefesh. People who did not take the vaccine have died and are currently dying. If you have verified facts and science to back up what you have to say let’s hear it. If you just want to pass around hearsay, speculation and fear then I see no problem with silencing such people. Freedom of speech does not allow people to use it when others are harmed (yelling fire in a crowded theatre).
What doctors are threatened? Do you have anything to back up what you say?
I agree that it is not logical. However, it does seem to be working. Drive around Lakewood and tell me if you see the average family starving and begging for food. On the surface, it appears that there is plenty of money floating around and somehow people are making it in “business”. Until I a reduction in the following I will assume that your assessment is wrong
Very comfortable houses that are remodeled and more expensive than the average American house
Peasch hotel programs or families vacationing in Orlando
High-end clothing stores in frum neighborhoods that charge 2-3 times the price of similar items in the non-Jewish world
Travel/ Sleepaway camps that charge exorbitant prices
A high demand for non-essential food items with prices reflective of the “because we can get away with it” inflated price
Lavish simchas
Late-model automobiles (compare the parking lot in BMG with 30 years ago)
Etc.
It looks to me like the majority of the frum world is “living it up” while a vocal minority “have not” kvetches make a stink about in coffee room discussions
Best wishes for a refuah sheleima and a kesiva vechasima tova. You will be missed and I will try to hold down the CT fort during your convalescence. We hope to see your contributions again soon.
I am surprised that no one made the point that being chareidi is more an issue of externals (dress, manner of speech, mannerism) than it is about halacha or hashkafa. UJM is way off on this one.
I apologize for contributing to troll post and ignoring the rule of never supporting a troll.
Tznius is more than dress. It is about attracting attention to yourself. It is the car you drive the simchas you make the vacations you take etc. Spending $100k on a wedding and driving a tesla are not very tznius in my mind.
@CTLAWYER-Point taken. It is then a testament to all the parents that “send” their children to learn in Waterbury (all boys in Waterbury are technically adults over 18 and make their own decisions as to where to learn). They choose a yeshiva based on one question “will my son be able to maximize his growth in this institution?”. They do not ask how many beer bottles are littering the streets half a mile away from the yeshiva.
This question of maximizing growth is answered by examining many different factors such as the Rebbe-talmid relationships, the philosophy of the yeshiva, the atmosphere in the BM and dorm, will they be happy there, what are his long-term trajectory if he attends this yeshiva etc. Kudos to all parents and sons that choose a yeshiva based on the boy and his potential for growth and not on petty factors such as cleanliness of the city where it is located. Even greater credit goes to those who choose a yeshiva based on growth potential and ignore questions such prestige, shiduch points, quality of the food, and “what will my neighbors say?”.
Granted safety is a factor but speak to any talmid of Waterbury past and present and see how many felt in danger. How many suburbanite families consider safety as a major factor when sending their children to learn in 770 or Gush Etzion?
Getting back to the suburban dream city in which you live, how is the crime and the filth in that city? Based on this link removed it looks like your city is considerably worse than Waterbury.
Stick that in your cholent pot and let it stew!
Lowerourtuition-It is clearly a cholam. Take a look a this week’s parsha perek 24 pasuk 11. Look at the word “Oyvai” which has a cholam and also a yud. If all cholams were pronounced as “oy” there would be no need for the yud. According to the yeshivishe/chasidishe way of pronouncing things that would mean there is an extra letter in the Torah.
CTL- Apparently the 250+ families disagree with your assessment of the Waterbury Jewish community. The Yeshiva K’tana there is currently the largest day school in the entire New England with an enrollment that is larger than all the other k-8 day schools in Connecticut combined. The Rabbeim there are top-notch.
Housing prices continue to rise and new neighborhoods (within the area that you deride) are flourishing and expanding.
Waterbury is still the most attractive community for a yeshiva style family within a two-hour drive of NY
Sorry to be so rough, but how are things working out in your part of Connecticut? Outside the compound that is…..
It’s the Yiddish translation of the passover holiday. It is the same reason for many other commonly used phrases in the Orthodox world that have no source in classical Judaism or are simply grammatical errors
Shaloch manos (as opposed to Meshloach manos)
Shabbosim
Zechusim
chanukah mesiba (as opposed to mesibas chanuka)
chal hamoed
shlashudosI am sure the oilam can add to the list…
I am surprised by some of the responses, especially from CT Lawyer. What makes IVY Leauge colleges the “Top colleges”? Is it not how hard it is to get into? Don’t children of alumni get special privileges there too? Do you really think a major donor to one of the colleges will not have an easier time getting their kid in? Granted their criteria may be different than yeshivas but there are many parallels.
We also need to address the question based on the meaning of the questioner. He probably meant which have the smartest guys. I believe that anyone with seichel realizes that this means little when it comes to what really counts. Those things are much harder to quantify. Such as
middos development
growth development (A yeshiva whcih takes a boy from level 1 to level 6 should be better than a yeshiva that takes him from level 9 to level 10)
connection to Hashem
ability to think about and deal with real life issues including emunah and bitachon
breadth of knowledge (some yeshivas produce guys who know many achronim on shas but are ignorant of halacha)
Also because Benjamin Franklin was not chasidish. Perhaps if there was a meeting between and the BESHT the saying would have come out different.
Many more resources are necessary to produce the substantive seforim you are looking for. Perhaps you should volunteer to raise the money to put out these worthwhile seforim? It is a huge undertaking. Think about how many sponsors there are for each volume of the Artscroll shas and they still need to charge a whopping $50 retail per volume (granted most people don’t pay that but you get the point). Much less effort is needed for fluff. Even fluff has a value so I don’t hold it against the companies for putting them out. The publishing companies are meant as a money-making business and it would be ludicrous to make an effort to increase the demand for scholarly works.
I applaud companies like Artscroll for putting in tons of money for volumes they KNOW will lose money (ex: Yesrushalmi). They do that totally lishmaI think we need more information on the type of Yeshiva before we comment. Is this a mainstream yeshiva where the expectation is for most boys to be self-motivated. Or perhaps is it a yeshiva where most of the boys struggle and the ONLY way to get them to learn anything is with positive reinforcement?
I think that R. Tzvi Berkowitz from Baltimore made very good points that relate to the second part of what you say. Try not to get caught up in the details of how it happened, who was at fault etc. Humans do this be c. we like to be in control and try to find understanding in everything. It is really an escape.
Even if you are having a hard time connecting to the tragedy maybe that is the message for you. Maybe what you need to work on is feeling more connected to every member of klal yisrael. If secular Israelis are pouring out thier hearts in pain (maybe not all but many are) you can learn to emulate them. It is an avodah but worth working on.
UJM: bad analogy. It is a very good question and I have asked this for years. The question is stronger on lag baomer which is really a quasi yom tov. On a regular yom tov there is an inyan of “chatzi lachem” and simcha. There is no such inyan on lag baomer or chanuka.
What is especially bafling on lag baomer is that we don’t just give off but we go play baseball (at least that is what they did in my day).
Chosid: What makes you think that the random person in the Yeshiva World coffee room is not the gadol in question? Where else does an adom gadol go to chill?
UJM: If you are referring to the obligation from zaken mamre of ” lo sasur” (Devarim 17: 10,11) that is referring to a psak in halacha given by the sanhedrin. Yes, we have a system in place (Torah obligation as you put it) in how to follow halcha when there is a machlokes. Apparently the question of the OP is one that relates to either hashkafa or personal guidance, not a bona fide machlokes involving a majority opinion against a daas yachid.
Once again I ask you to give a source that says for personal guidance a person should ask a gadol shebeyisroel before (or after) he asks his own Rav/Rebbe.
UJM- Just to clarify, bring a source that says when a person has a question he should go and ask a gadol before (or after) his Rebbe/Rav.
UJM- a phrase that is bandied around the yeshiva world is not a valid mekor. You can do better than that
Perhaps the whole concept of going to a gadol for advice on a personal issue has no classical basis in Judaism. Can anyone bring a source that does or is it perhaps a modern phenomenon? My understanding of “asei lecha Rav” is that there are many different pathways, hashkafot, derech in pesak etc.” and one needs to just choose a path. A person therefore needs to find a Rav/Rebbe who he feels is closest to is own style and way of thinking and go with it 100%. You do that with the understanding that there are other legitimate ways but you need to choose one.
As a simple example, let’s say you come across something that is a machlokes in halacha between R. Moshe & R. Shlomo Zalman Zt”l. Who an I to determine which one is a bigger gadol? So I need to choose someone to give guidance and a psak.
I wonder if the idea of “going to a gadol for eitza” in place of going to one’s own Rebbe coincided with our turning gedolim into props for a photo op? Do all the people that come to ask questions to R. Chamim Kanievsky first ask the same question to everyone else on the totem pole and no one could give an answer until the only place to turn was R. Chaim? Or do we just look for an opportunity to tell people “Do you know how great I am? I had a question and I spoke to R. Chaim….”And all this is coming from THE Rebbe of CT!
One that bugs me this time of year is when yeshivishe people refer to chal hamoed. For every other cholam vowel they love to say “oi”, so how did the intermediate days of pesach and sukkos become chal hamoed?
When an OP throws out a vague “fact” that is known only to him in order to generate repsonses it is called troling. Does he mean closed and utilizing zoom, does he mean closed for good? Does he have any evidence to back up his claim?
What does this mean? Please explain