Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Today’s YWN featires a photo essay on Day 1 of Aguda’s Winter Yarchei Kallah. Many of the attendees (adult males) photographed have no beards
Joseph…………….
I feel obligated to provide my daughter with the type of simcha she desires as long as it is comfortably within my means. It has nothing to do with keeping up with others. My ‘comparable’ remark was in response to another poster’s remark about living in a community where this is the norm.
Technical21…………..
I have no idea of your parents circumstances. Chances are that I (in my mid 60s) am substantially older than them. My children are grown and educated, my home is long paid off and my housing cost for a large home is far less than the monthly cost of a 2 bedroom apartment in Brooklyn. I have a successful professional practice, built by hard work and long hours, that now has the next generation involved. One can spend money commensurate with their station in life without being a showoff.
Doing things elegantly doesn’t mean shameless waste. One does not amass wealth through waste. As I’ve posted before, I may have a large home in small town Connecticut, but I still mow the lawn, shovel snow and take out the garbage.
I earlier described (in another thread) that the actual Chasunah will be in our home late morning with a sit down luncheon of approximate 80 closest relatives and friends. That is the small and intimate experience my daughter wishes. The evening affair is in NY to include the not so close relatives, business associates and not as close friends from school, yeshiva, seminary, law school and camp in honoring the simcha.
Hoping to avoid offense or sounding gauche, those who cannot afford to make large and/or lavish affairs often profess to prefer small, intimate and simple affairs.
My wife and I live for our children and grandchildren. We don’t spend money vacationing. We were brought up to value money and not waste. My Oma taught me to buy the best, even if you can only buy less, as it will last and cost less in the long run. “Cheap is dear.” Poor quality items must be replaced quickly and cost more in the long run. This philosophy has served me well in the long run. My everyday watch is a Rolex bought 35 years ago for $1600…a cost of ownership of $45 per year. I expect that I’ll wear and enjoy it for the rest of my life and then my eldest son may have it. I drive a 12 year old car. Yes, it was very expensive when new, but I’ve yet to hit 60,000 miles and will probably own it for 20 years when I get my next car.
It is a matter of priorities and choices. I’d rather spend on simchas than sadness. I’ll not give one cent less Tzedaka because of the cost of the chasunah, in fact, I’ll probably make extra contributions in honor of the event.
You are correct that I can afford to make the chasunah I describe. If I couldn’t afford it, I’d not be making it. What someone may consider extravagant, some one else may consider ordinary.
In today’s dollars this will be quite less extravagant than my own wedding when we took over an entire hotel for a 3 day weekend…times have changed.
The chasunah will be comparable to many made by those in my profession or whom I do business with. This evening affair will be in NY, not the community I live in. It will be tasteful, not gaudy, brash or loud. It is made to honor the simcha, not impress guests, neighbors or friends. the food will be quality and plentiful, but not the extreme waste we often see, and there will be no sushi….we don’t care for it and don’t feel obligated to serve it.
It is not for you to determine what is a waste of my money. The relief keyboard player will also play soft background music as guests enter the dining room and the orchestra is making their transition from the shmorgasbord room to the dining room, and during other scheduled orchestra breaks.
If I wanted recorded music, I could have hired a DJ. We want live music arranged and played as we choose and at sound levels we determine.
The orchestra will not be absent during the entire meal service, they’ll eat during the main course. As for getting back to the job they were hired to do, that is what they will be doing, according to the terms of a contract that is fair to both labor and host.
We hire professionals and pay accordingly. When a chasunah involves a full 8 hour shift plus travel time, the orchestra members are entitled to ample breaks, meal, snacks and beverages.
Joseph………..
It was a Jewish senior judge who gave the clothing color advice.
The question of the beard is not religion related. Non-Jewish attorneys of my generation don’t wear them either.
In fact, I tell non-Jewish clients who are going to testify before a jury to get rid of their beards. Studies have shown that potential jurors give less credence to testimony of bearded men. They think a clean shaven man has less to hide.
Wearing a yarmulka was never an issue in law school or in court (40 years experience).
Some jurisdictions are more progressive than others. I know female attorneys that will wear a pant suit in NY courts, that always wear a below the knee skirt and dark stockings/tights here in conservative New England.
My maternal side is Yekkah. To quote my late maternal grandfather Z”L, ‘the bigger the beard, the bigger the faker.’ Unfortunately, this attitude is often expressed by those involved in trials, why should I jeopardize my livelihood or my clients’ interests when an electric shaver is permitted by halacha?
My lack of beard hasn’t hurt my children’s shidduchim. I have 3 married and 1 engaged. Two fathers-in law have beards, one not. The engaged daughter’s father-in-law to be is a surgeon who does not wear a beard.
No.
In fact as a parent I prefer that boys be where their parents can keep a proper eye on them.
Some of us make our living in the general population and a beard may be detrimental to one’s success.
It is not considered appropriate in the conservative courtrooms here in New England. In fact about a year ago I commented that when I first started practicing law, a senior judge took me aside and told me that only the Judge wears black in the courtroom. So I wear Midnight Blue or extremely dark grey suits.
I have found that the younger generation (under 45) can get away with a neatly trimmed beard and my eldest son does wear one in his practice. As for me, a beard will wit until I am fully retired.
Joseph…
I’m endorsing making a wedding appropriate for your means at the time of the wedding.
My eldest has been married more than 25 years. You can’t expect that I’d spend the same amount of money on a weeding this year.
Also, we come from a tradition that says the kallah’s family pays for the chasunah. Therefore, how fancy/expensive my sons’ weddings were was determined by the machatunim.
I guess Mrs. CTLAWYER is old fashioned and out of the loop. She read Mashiach Agent’s comment about choice of a one man or 5 piece band and asked me if this is the relief while the orchestra takes their break or eats dinner?
Daughter’s chasunah is less than 90 days off, and both an orchestra (no singer) and a relief keyboard player have been hired. Orchestra will eat when guests have their main course and the keyboard player will provide soft background music that allows conversation at the dining tables.
CTLAWYER has been repeatedly told to remember the mantra: DADDY WILL PAY. Wife was given a healthy budget, but I’m sure she is supplementing it from her knippel.
Lastly, my own comment…there is no need to go broke. BUT regular is based on one’s economic circumstances. A 45 year old marrying off his eldest while the youngest are still to be educated, etc. is in different circumstances than a 65 year old marrying off one of his youngest, and all are educated and self supporting.
MsPrincess………
From personal experience, I can tell you that our shul rabbi’s contract included tuition to Miclalah for his three daughters. I am one of the baal batim who shouldered the cost of tuition and airfare. Often, the salary of a shul rav is only a small part (taxable) of the total compensation package. Housing, education, travel, clothing are often supplied.
Joseph……………..
Please explain to me how ‘Ted’ Rafael Edward Cruz, could meet the Constitutional citizenship/birth requirements to be President of the USA.
He was born in Canada to a formerly American mother (she had previously renounced her US citizenship) and a Cuban father.
Unlike lower offices, the Constitution requires that the President be born on US soil.
For more than 8 years we’ve heard the ‘birthers’ attack President Obama’s place of birth and qualifications to be President, why the great silence for this conservative Hispanic Presidential wannabe?
Technical20
Yes, I am male.
I met with shadchanim more than 40 years ago when I was single.
I also met with them within the past dozen years as the parent of both boys and girls and rejected their services.
In the case of my daughters, they absolutely were making a sales pitch…it may have to do with my perceived income/status.
@Technical 20
“Do you know anyone who works for free?”
Yes, the losing attorneys who take contingency fee cases. It’s a common practice, the client only pays when you win.
BTW> I don’t practice that field of law.
As I’ve posted earlier, the initial meeting with the shadchan is you giving your time free to listen to the shadchan’s pitch as to why the shadchan should be engaged to perform a service. If you decide to use the service, then you pay.
Abba_S
In Connecticut these small cemeteries owned by defunct congregations and organizations are usually taken over by the Jewish Federations.
Massachusetts has the Jewish Cemetery Association, which has assumed ownership and care for both abandoned cemeteries and those of functioning congregations. My BIL is Rav of small congregation in Massachusetts with a cemetery going back 100+ years. They turned it over to JCAM along with funds to endow the upkeep. Professional management and full time groundskeepers can really cut costs.
edited by mod to remove link
Neville ChaimBerlin……………..
You read words in my posts that never appear.
I did not post that I would not vote for Bernie. I wrote in a reply to Joseph that “I do not think America is ready for an Intermarried Jewish Socialist as President.”
If Sanders is the Democratic nominee and Trump the Republican, I’d vote Sanders.
I always vote, sometimes the choices are not great. I’m proud that I voted McGovern, NOT Nixon in 1972.
Joseph………….
I’m glad you have a crystal ball.
While likely that the R nominee will be one of those already declared, it is not definite.
Hillary is leading but not guaranteed the nomination.
Politics makes strange bedfellows.
The first National Democratic Convention I attended was back in 1968 and I’ve been to 4 since. I am a delegate to the CT State convention next year. Don’t know if I’ll be a delegate to national. Only time and deals…as well as party members’ votes will determine the nominees.
All of the above is a consideration, also the choice of VP candidate. I could in no way vote for John McCain when he chose Sarah Palin as a running mate…it was an insult to my intelligence.
Ask me again after the nominating conventions.
Joseph……..
No, all I wrote is that I would not vote for any of the declared candidates for the Republican nomination.
There are 6 months until the party conventions. Candidates have been known to crash and burn during similar time periods.
I admit to not being a Republican, so have no vote in their primary. That doesn’t mean that I automatically vote for whomever the Democrats nominate.
8 years ago Hillary was the Democratic front runner, but didn’t get the nomination. I have known her since she was a law student at Yale. She is a very accomplished and talented person, but has lots of political baggage.
I do not think America is ready for an Intermarried Jewish Socialist as President.
My mind is open and I’ll be watching to see what additional candidates appear before the election. I’ll make up my mind after the nominating process is complete.
It won’t be any of the declared Republicans
Charliehall….
Catholic High Schools receive support from the diocese and other parishes that do not maintain schools. Our local Catholic High School charges $14,450 tuition (which is right in line with what our town spends on public school students).
One of the biggest differences in funding the church and its agencies and Jewish institutions is that: When goyim go to church on Sunday they are expected to be carrying money and place it in the collection baskets/envelopes. When most Jews attend shul (Shabbos/Yuntif) it is assur to carry money and only pledges may be collected.
Because Catholic churches and schools are under the authority of a Diocese, failing institutions may be ordered to merge or close. There is no central Jewish authority telling under enrolled yeshivas or shuls that they must merge for economy reasons. Also, There does not exist the doctrinal differences that make so many flavors of Yeshivos desirable.
I’ve already answered this and explained the ethical restraints my professional license puts on my communications and their privacy privilege.
That stated:
You may choose to let your spouse read your outgoing email, BUT you may not have richus of the sender to let your spouse read your received email.
The sender has an expectation of privacy in addressing the email to you, as opposed to mailing a letter addressed to the XXXX family.
Lesschumras………………
You are correct, fingers typing faster than mind was moving
Abba_S-It is very different in NY from out of town!
My maternal grandparents are in King David-Elmont, My paternal line is in MT. Hebron-Queens. In those cemeteries, many synagogues own sections for their members.
Here in Connecticut, virtually every synagogue owns its own cemetery. The local Jewish Funeral Director owns 2 cemeteries that I know of. One of my childhood friends owns a cemetery in New Haven that was started by his grandfather in 1920.
Local Jewish Federations in CT and Massachusetts have had to take over derelict cemeteries—owned by defunct shuls or landsleit with no surviving members, money or interest.
The rules, customs and laws vary by state and area.
NO, as an attorney it would violate the Ethics rules. I have to screen emails sent to my personal email accounts to make sure that they are not from clients or contain privileged communications.
Joseph,
I maintain a membership in the shul in whose cemetery my parents are buried, and where I expect my siblings will eventually be buried. If I let the membership lapse, my plot(s) will be forfeited to the shul.
We pay dues to the shul in whose cemetery my wife’s father is buried and where her mother will eventually lie. This is because my wife has expressed a desire to be there.
Personally, I’d rather be with my grandparents and great grandparents in the family plot in Queens, but as most of the family is in CT, it would be more convenient for the living if we were eventually interred here.
All my grandparents are buried in NY. My parents moved to CT in 1952. They made annual visits to the NY cemeteries. My parents are buried in New Haven, I visit their graves at least once each month. Being a country person, I also am likely to put garden tools in the car and trim/care for the graves when I visit. I can’t imagine my cousins schlepping on the #7 train to MT Hebron with tools to clean up our grandparents graves…and the quality of perpetual care is poor.
Joseph—the Chevra Kedisha may manage to bury a mais without a prepaid plot quickly, but it is usually in a next in line plot, and not necessarily in a particular organization, shul or family plot.
Here, if you don’t have a prepaid plot and need the Chevra Kedisha to handle it, the mais usually ends up in the Hebrew Free Burial Society cemetery, or a small cemetery owned by the funeral director. Otherwise the family had better be prepared to fork over thousands for a plot in a particular cemetery before the grave is opened.
Cemeteries and Shuls are also businesses and have rules and fiscal responsibilities to their members. The chances of collecting qucickly or at all for a plot that has been used before payment is received is not very good…and no judge will order a disinterment for non-payment, even if halacha allowed such a thing.
nfgo……..
You point out very important things:
“so many learners are coming out of Kollel with little or no skill in the high-earning professions”
Today, high earners are in highly specialized professions. Medicine, law, technology,etc.
Gone are the days of the post WWII boom, when American Jewish businessmen/women could make substantial livings as small manufacturers/retailers and repair people. My great grandfather manufactured Neckties in NYC, My Grandfather (his son-in-law) , manufactured dress shirts, other sons in-law made suits, coats and ladies garments. My father’s generation opened regional clothing store chains and sold the products manufactured by the family.
Today, most manufacturing is done overseas in huge cheap labor factories. You can’t start a business on the cheap. Independent regional retailing chains have been gobbled up or destroyed by the national chains. Regional department stores no longer exist. Low internet pricing has destroyed the advantage some independents had (providing individual service).
I may be the oddball here…because I chose to live out of town (as I was raised) and sent my kids to Yeshiva, but insisted that they go on to college and professional schools (both boys and girls) in order that they be able to provide for themselves and their progeny.
This is not to say that I would not support a son or son-in law while learning if he desired…BUT unless we have a substantial Baal Batim class our institutions will not survive.
@Mashiach Agent
This Family Law/Estate Planning/Trust Attorney will tell you that in the US a decedent’s wishes for burial expressed in a will are meaningless under the law.
The decedent has no control over his her body when dead. The executor/trix makes decisions.
FURTHERMORE, it may take quite some time to get a court order to open a safe deposit box and access a will, or a court order to enforce provisions before going through the probate process. If Chas V’shalom someone is niftar on Shabbos, and a Sunday burial in order the family can’t wait for banks and courts to open on Monday.
My great Grandfather bought plots for all his expected descendants (100+) in the family foundation cemetery back in 1919. I still pay annual dues and am a trustee, but doubt I’ll ever be interred there. However, my eldest son and family make NY their home and might eventually join the family (in another 100+ years).
Outside NYC, synagogues typically own their own cemeteries and plots are often included as part of one’s membership costs. In fact, many synagogues are able to retain dues paying members (who never attend that shul) because members want to be buried with their families. Not uncommon to belong to two or three shuls for this reason.
Joseph…………
Far more in big cities such as NY than in modern, spacious buildings elsewhere.
Outside NYC government health departments are far more stringent when it comes to inspections, especially of institutions.
I served a term on our local Health District board. The director of public health even shut down the kitchens in our public high school when they did not meet standards. They were put back in order in less than 72 hours and now have monthly inspections. not semi-annually.
The assisted living center my mother OBM lived in her final years, no longer has an independent cook under a mashgiach. Instead it is professionally run by Sodexo (the institutional arm of Marriott) with true professionals under full time rabbinical supervision. Much cleaner, healthier meals and lower costs based on economy of scale.
Our area Jewish Federation is considering a central commissary to provide centrally prepared meals for serving by day schools, yeshivos, meals on wheels, senior centers, day camps, etc. All these constituent agencies who accept Federation money could be well served by professional food service and reduced cost/higher quality meals.
DaasYochid…………..
I didn’t hang up because he is the relative of my daughter in law. Not worth causing my son a problem.
I have told the story before of how a High School rebbi called me to set me up with a girl who would be in my town for one day only–for a bris. When I finished laughing, I told my wife that my rebbi wanted to fix me up with her sister.
He didn’t know that I had married and had a son. It was more than 10 years since I’d seen him, he only knew that I was the only male he was acquainted with from my town and that this young lady was going to be there for a simcha–so he took a shot.
About 6 months later, I fixed my sister in law up with a former Yeshiva roommate of mine (now a CPA). They are B”H married more than 35 years with children and grandchildren.
Bramo………
It’s ALL about cost. There are many restaurants feeding far more people in a meal’s time serving great, fresh food. BUT they are not doing it for $2-3 per meal.
Bramo…
I think you meant to write the quality of the ingredients.
Quantity doesn’t matter is the quality is no good. Large portions of bad food is not the answer.
I have just started reading this thread, as I got a phone call from a schadchan 5 minutes ago. He said to me that he just heard I have a daughter turning 19 soon and she must be desperate for a husband.
After I finished laughing, I asked about how he got my private phone number and his background. He said he got the number from my eldest daughter-in-law. She is a cousin and he was trolling relatives for referrals. I was told that because we live out of town he will only charge $500 for an initial meeting and then negotiate a set fee for a shidduch.
I replied that I am a successful attorney and that initial consultations are always free, then if the potential client is interested, we discuss rates and sign an ‘engagement letter.’
There was dead silence and then I hears a dial tone.
There is no reason to pay a schadchan for an initial consultation. That meeting is you giving the shadchan your time at no cost to pitch his/her services.
BTW>>>My not yet 19 year old is in no hurry to find a chason. This family sends girls to get a college and professional degree after the post high school seminary experience. Her 24 year old sister is finishing law school this month, she and her chuson taking the February Bar exams, chasunah in early April and I”H joining my firm in June.
Two sons married, eldest daughter married, middle daughter engaged. Not a single one used a professional shadchan. The old boys and old girls yeshiva/seminary/summer camp network did its job well.
BTW>>>My parents met working at nearby summer camps in 1930. I met my wife in 1970 while we were working at summer camps and were fixed up by the director and his wife.
The Donald is a Quack
This complaint is universal when applied to Institutional food. Yeshiva, public school cafeterias, colleges, hospitals, summer camps, nursing homes………
Add the additional costs of kosher, glatt kosher, cholov Yisroel, pas Yisroel and the cost per meal escalates or the quality/variety/quantity must be lowered.
When I was on the board of a day school in the 1990s, we had complaints that the children had not been served meat in three straight months. We had approved and paid bills for many cases of chicken. Turns out, the chicken was being taken home by those staff members who also housed out of town kids and used to feed the staff family and the students suppers and shabbos meals.
Only when the school accepted government lunch funds (and government surplus foods) were lunches required to meet Type A standards for protein, vegetables, starch, sugar and fat.
Gone were the days of May lunches made of fried matzo (bought when the supermarkets marked it down to 10 cents per pound) made without eggs and phony powdered ‘no fruit juice’ punch.
It is up to parents to get involved and insist on healthy meals at Yeshivas, not to say we suffered through it, so can our kids.
BTW…this all ties into the thread about Yeshiva tuition. Day schools need at least $5 per day to feed kids a balanced kosher lunch (no one wants pasta every day), a teen-aged yeshiva bochur easily costs $100 or more per week to feed in a dormitory situation.
For a reality check: Typical college treif meal plans (19 meals per week-brunch on weekends, not breakfast and lunch) cost about $3000 per semester. The average semester is about 14 weeks…that works out to more than $200 per week.
Some colleges have kosher dining which accepts the meal plan. If attending a college with private kosher dining you can expect to pay double.
I’d like to make some observations and give some perspective on costs of public education and day school/yeshiva tuition.
I live in CT. Some of you know that I am involved in local government. Our town’s education budget (which is middle of the road) is such that the annual per pupil cost is $14,000.
Area (within one hour drive, but inside CT) day school/yeshiva tuition averages $20,000 per student per year.
Students living more than one mile away (in the same town/city as the public school or Jewish school) get transportation provided by the municipality. The towns also pick up the cost of school nurse and many secular textbooks at the Jewish schools.
Public schools pay their staff substantially higher wages.
Why should it cost 25% less to educate a public school student? Yeshivos/Day Schools don’t enjoy economies of scale. They don’t have 1,000-3,000 students in a typical school building. Classes don’t usually have 25-29 students as in public schools. A Yeshiva might need to order 25 copies of a high school math textbook, our high school would need 600. The quantity price is much lower. The same applies to most purchases. The Yeshiva’s grounds will not be maintained (grass cut, snow plowed) by the town’s dept. of public works, etc.
Also, when a Yeshiva buys or builds a school they need to raise all the money to cover the cost. Our state reimburses municipalities about 50% of the cost of new school construction.
Outside NY, Yeshivas/Day schools must be accredited to issue recognizable diplomas and no one would send their children to a school that did not issue such a diploma. This requires that the teachers of secular subjects be certified and qualified, AND that the required class hours of instruction actually take place. My state even mandates how many hours of Physical Education each child receives by grade range.
Having been on the board of three different day schools/yeshivos, I can state that the tuition does not cover the per student cost. It is necessary to constantly fund-raise to cover overhead and improvements.
I grew up listening to Art Raymond on WEVD….My Zaidy was an advertiser on the station and therefore it was kept on to monitor commercials. Before taking over the WHN 1050 spot, WEVD was on 1330 AM. My older brother remembers them on 1220 AM before that.
WEVD was known as the ‘station that speaks your language’ no matter what language you spoke. It was started by the Socialist Party in 1927. Later it was the radio station of the Forvertz. A good number of the WEVD radio personalities were from the 2nd Ave Yiddish theatre and are buried in MT Hebron Cemetery in Queens.
The good thing was that my MIL’s Knaidel that was so tough that I needed to cut it with a K-Nife was a K-Leine Knaidel.
I washed it down with a Koffee from a K-Cup made in my Keurig.
My MIL’s knaidel was so tough I had to cut it with a K-Nife
I read your comment about tailors and must weigh in.
Machine operators who make garments in factories are not tailors. They perform certain specialized operations using specific machines. One sews on buttons, one makes button holes, one hems bottoms with a blind stitch machine while another sews long seams with an interlock/merrow machine.
I grew up in the garment trade and ran a sewing floor summers while in College and law school.
Tailors on the other hand, can make a complete garment. They can take your measurements, make a pattern, cut and drape and finish the garment. This is far more skill than a seamstress or machine operator. Tailors command premium wages.
I do not wear off the rack clothing. My suits, dress shirts and slacks are custom made for me (it’s important that I look good for business purposes). My tailor charges accordingly and lives a lifestyle of the upper middle class.
A tailor today is not like the schneider in the alte heim. It is a highly skilled profession learned by years of apprenticeship.
BTW>>>>
I posted earlier with our solution to this problem.
A good part of my practice is family law. This is not a Jewish problem, it is a universal problem. Many marriages have suffered from unscheduled parental visits and interference in the younger generation’s lives.
An earlier post made reference to situations where the parents are still supporting the married couple. Financial support does not mean that the parent has the right to intrude physically at will.
Each member of the couple must voice concerns to his/her own parents and establish working rules/parameters for visits.
I don’t think the ‘us’ really means frum Jews. I think it is you big city dwellers who don’t come into direct contact with many dogs while growing up (due to the hardships of raising a dog in an apartment).
Those of us who grew up ‘out of town’ were used to most single family dwellers having dogs. In the 1950s and 60s dogs were routinely allowed to run loose…no leash laws enforced and in my immediate neighborhood I don’t remember a single home without at least one dog, including the Rav of our shul.
We have 4 dogs and a cat. They don’t eat commercial animal food, so kashrut is not a problem. They run in a fenced in yard, so walking them on Shabbos is not an issue either.
It is always amusing when our kids brought home friends from Yeshiva or seminary to see the ‘big city dwellers reaction to the dogs. First fear, then leariness, then patting and playing with the dogs. Finally not wanting to leave because they became enamored with the dogs.
One other observation: many parents in low income homes cast negativity about dogs to their children. It is hard enough to feed the family without all the added expense of a pet.
45 years ago we had to deal with this with my parents and in-laws.
We set the following rule: When you pull in our driveway and the living room shade is down, do NOT ring the bell. If the shade is up you are welcome to visit.
Taught the same rule to my married children.
Works fine in the land of single family homes. Not in apartment buildings.
I’ve put on my bulletproof vest……………
Is tipping the rebbi or morah only an in-town thing…where competition/school choice keeps tuition and payroll lower than out of town.
Here in the sticks, tuition for K-12 tends to runs about 15K per year and there is usually one institution per community. Staff tends to command a better/higher wage than in NYC as an inducement to live out of town. Living costs are also substantially lower.
I never tipped my childrens’ rebbeim or morot, and I never heard other parents discussing doing so either. A token gift (not money) was usually given at Chanukkah, Pesach and end of school year.
Back in the 1960s when all teachers (public and private) received near starvation wages, my father and other area merchants tended to provide clothing and household merchandise to yeshiva/day school faculty (and their family) at cost or free. We were in the parochial school uniform business (among other clothing lines) and those staff members never received a bill for their children’s school uniforms.
Avi.. Joe Lieberman started as a State Senator her in CT representing my home district in New Haven, the State AG. Then US Senator.
I worked in his original primary campaign more than 45 years ago. (Along with both Bill and Hillary).
Nechomah..I’m aware of the calendar. Which is why this year I’m volunteering on the 24th, not 25th. There is no restriction from working on the first night of Chanukah if not Shabbos.