Ex-CTLawyer

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  • in reply to: Finding Massage from a Male Masseuse #1185687
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    dovrosenbaum……….

    You are correct it was NOT Danbury. It was an immediate suburb of New Haven. Even our LOR belonged (the clubs has a special clergy rate). 95% of the clubs members were Jews. My parents were founding members back in 1962. The other two country clubs in that suburb were about 75% Jewish.

    in reply to: Finding Massage from a Male Masseuse #1185685
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Yehudayona…….

    It’s a masseur. In the good old days every JCC and steam bath had one who gave rubdowns (massages) in their health clubs. You can still find this service at some JCCs as well as goyische Ys and Russian Bath houses.

    I grew up in CT. We belonged to a country club, they employed a full time locker room attendant who also was trained to give massages. Nothing like a schvitz followed by a massage.

    in reply to: TRUMP FOR… #1184978
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I wouldn’t even vote for Trump for dog catcher!

    in reply to: Taking off for yomtov as Public School employee #1184033
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    As mentioned in other posts, I am in local government here in CT. Our area schools are closed first day RH and YK. Teachers may use personal days for religious observance, NOT sick days. Sick days are for illness. If a known Jewish teacher attempts to use sick days for Yuntif observance they will be asked to provide a doctor’s note for the absence.

    Unpaid time will be granted for religious observance. After all, the municipalities have to pay substitute teachers to cover classes when a teacher is out.

    in reply to: Take the TV out of the Restaurant or we will shut you down #1181006
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Joseph, a person entering the restaurant/bar does not have the right to stay until asked to leave. The CT Supreme Court defined a “Public Invitee”

    “A public invitee is someone invited to enter or remain on land as a member of the public for a purpose for which the land is held open to the public.”

    Thus the owners invitation to the public is to enter for the purposes of dining/drinking. The public is not holding an invitation to enter and try to convince the proprietor to change his business model.

    You are correct that the owner should be contacted via phone or letter.

    in reply to: Tell us about your first date with your spouse #1183879
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Popa……….

    Note the specific 6 year program I attended at Penn. This was unique and while a Harvard MBA has gained cache in recent years 40 years ago it did not compare with Wharton.

    I have no disdain for Harvard. I’ve stated before that a family member is a law professor there.

    in reply to: Are you desperate for money? #1180262
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Illegal in many states including CT.

    Selling blood was outlawed by many states in the early 1980s due the spread of Herpes, Aids among intravenous drug users who then sold blood to support their habit

    in reply to: The Hishtadlus of Voting #1179754
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Mashiach Agent

    Who gave you authority to speak for all members of the coffee room? Your statement “better of the 2 which we would all say trump” is a LIE. Yet you in the same post accuse Secretary Clinton of lying. How ironic.

    You don’t speak for me, I DON’T think Trump is the better of the two.

    in reply to: Matzah Print Furniture #1178769
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Only if you don’t regularly clean it.

    Certainly no more tacky than Crushed velvet and tassles

    in reply to: I just dropped something on the floor #1178728
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Lilmod

    A small removable memory card that can be used in devices such as digital cameras and then inserted and read by a computer

    in reply to: I just dropped something on the floor #1178726
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Geordie613

    The definition as you present is the way it is taught the last 20 years in the USA. But back in the 1950s and 60s only the word Homonym was used in our schools.

    I fully understand your menu. Our 28 year old is employed as chief steward on a Mega SuperYacht in the Med. Approx 1/3 of the crew are from South Africa. Last year, 6 came to stay with us for a week while touring USA on holiday. Made an authentic egte braaivleis that Sunday afternoon for the homesick boys. One of them used my smokehouse to make 20 lbs of Biltong to take back to the ship. All fall these goyim were eating kosher Biltong. Makes me yearn for JoBurg and Salisbury in the 1970s

    in reply to: I just dropped something on the floor #1178723
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Geordie……….

    and when you speak of a Braai…I know it’s meaqt cooked on the grill as opposed to Brei….fried matza.

    When I was a child we’d have called those words Homonyms, now they teach the kids that words that sound alike and are spelled differently are call homophones.

    It’s enough to cause homophobia

    in reply to: Used Car Salesmen #1179893
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    huju…………..

    My all time favorite quote of my late father (Z”L)

    Fair? Who ever told you life is fair?

    in reply to: I just dropped something on the floor #1178719
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Yehudayona……………..

    When we are members of an international Coffee Room it is ok to explain words that are unknown to those not in our own country. In this case, I’d wager 90% of Americans do not know what the word meant, while 50% would recognize the slang ‘vittles,’ especially those old enough to have watched TV western or the Beverly Hillbillies.

    I expected that Joseph would have understood the word, the comment was specifically addressed to him.

    Meanwhile, Lilmod expanded his/her English voabulary.

    in reply to: Is Hillary too weak and fragile to survive the rigors of the presidency? #1190224
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Actually, the Presidency is much less strenuous than the campaign. Far less travel with multiple stops in a day, trying to win the support of crowds. Much more one one one meetings with support staff having smoothed the way, medical staff in attendance in the White House and while traveling, better diet controlled by White House Chef, etc.

    in reply to: I just dropped something on the floor #1178715
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Lilmod

    Victual(s) is an archaic English word for food and/or provisions. It was in common use in the English colonies in North America. In southern American slang it has been corrupted to the word ‘vittles’ meaning food.

    To this day, food service establishments in the State of Rhode Island must display their “Victualling License”. Here in Connecticut they would have a food service permit.

    Since a reference was made to food falling on the floor and Virtual reality, I put the reference in about Vicutal reality to see if anyone understood the term.

    in reply to: Used Car Salesmen #1179888
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    huju………….

    The difference between used car salesmen and new car salesmen is that New Car dealers have to uphold certain standards to keep their franchises. If there are too many complaints to the manufacturer the franchise can be pulled.

    in reply to: I just dropped something on the floor #1178710
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph

    Victual reality

    in reply to: Unnecessary Dentist procedures #1178308
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Joseph…

    If C”V a patient sued my nephew regarding dental work and the suit was for less than $5 million it would be defended by his malpractice insurance carrier, not an independent attorney.

    I specialize in trusts, estates and family law and not be the ideal defense attorney in such a suit. That said I’d offer to review and explain all the legal papers to my nephew at no charge. I did set up the trust that bought all the dental equipment and leases it to the practice, as well as trusts for his children, advanced medical directives and wills, etc.

    in reply to: Used Car Salesmen #1179884
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Used car salesmen have a bad reputation.

    Because the law considers anything they say to induce to to buy the car as puffing (meaning they can’t be held to claims made) they stretch the truth.

    Only what is reduced to writing in the 4 corners of the contract binds the seller.

    So if you are told the car was only driven on Sundays by an old lady to drive to the market and actually that Mercury Grand Marquis was a livery vehicle, you lose.

    As for mechanics they don’t care if they get you under the hood or in the trunk

    in reply to: Unnecessary Dentist procedures #1178304
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    This is a common problem. I’m not in Brooklyn and don’t share the same dentists. 9 years ago my dentist did a temporary repair to a front corner tooth. He told me that within 6 months I’d need, a post, pin and crown fro $6000. The temporary repair is still holding up. I can’t say the same for the dentist; his funeral was last week (aged 60).

    In 1980 I needed a root canal, post and crown on a tooth all the way back in my mouth. I told the dentist (another city, another man) to put in a stainless steel crown as no one could see it when I opened my mouth. No need for porcelain or gold.

    The next day brushing my teeth I see a gold reflection in the mirror. I had not yet rec’d the bill (the good old days when you didn’t pay before leaving the office.

    The bill came at the end of the month and I was billed for a gold crown. I called the dentist to complain that I was specific that I wanted a stainless steel crown, not gold, and was not paying for it. He could replace it or eat the cost difference. He told me to tear up the bill and find a new dentist.

    I filed a complaint with the CT licensing authorities. They got the records from the dental lab. I was billed for a gold crown that was actually gold colored base metal. The Dentist lost his license to practice in CT.

    I no longer worry about my dentist, it’s my sister’s 2nd son. I don’t pay for dentistry, he doesn’t pay for legal work. 100% family discount.

    in reply to: Diamonds Are Overrated! #1177672
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Lightbrite

    Your first question asks about inheriting a engagement or wedding ring from a family memebr who git divorced or had an unhappy marriage.

    The inheritor has little say in inheriting. Ownership passes under the terms of the will or the laws of the state it there is no will.

    Your question is really whether one should reuse an engagement or wedding ring in these circumstances?

    Our family passes down diamonds for use in engagement rings, but never reuses the settings. Each kallah deserves a new setting made for her. We’ve never recycled wedding rings. There is a box in the vault with an accumulation of ancestral wedding rings, their value is strictly sentimental.

    I don’t personally believe that any ‘bad luck’ or karma attaches itself to a stone that is reused. If you go to a jeweler to buy a engagement ring, unless the stone is cut to order or has a tracable serial number engraved you have no idea if it was previously owned by a consumer and reset for sale.

    in reply to: what to do with a gap year in between grad school and undergrad? #1181130
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Sparkly…..Instead of retail pharmacies try the hospital pharmacies. Also, since retail pharmacy in many states such as CT have pharmacists doing things such as vaccinations, consider some short courses that will expand your know how, get certifications and licenses and make you a more desirable hire.

    My almost 20 yo daughter is doing a BSRN then law school. She had a semester off between graduating HS in Late Jan and starting college in August. She did a CNA 10 week course and passed the state licensing test. She is way ahead of her BSRN classmates now that they have begin clinical work. She also works one shift per week at the University hospital for $23 hr while the work study kids get $8. She is home every Shabbos and takes an afternoon shiur for women

    in reply to: what to do with a gap year in between grad school and undergrad? #1181127
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Sparkly…

    are you the one studying to be a pharmacist?

    If so, I’d get a job as a pharmacy tech on a chain pharmacy and get hands on experience. It’s not about the money, in the medical and allied professions hands on practical experience is invaluable and will give you a real edge up in getting your full time job after your education is complete

    in reply to: If Trump becomes president, I'm moving to Canada… #1190608
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Health

    Webster’s is a layman’s dictionary and is not a standard for trial. I would not be bringing an action on behalf of anyone who you may have libeled. It is not my area of practice.

    A better definition and explanation when the word ‘criminal’ should be used is taken from an edition of Black’s Law Dictionary sitting on my bookshelves:

    criminal

    1) n. a popular term for anyone who has committed a crime, whether convicted of the offense or not. More properly it should apply only to those actually convicted of a crime. Repeat offenders are sometimes called habitual criminals.

    Learning law doesn’t make you a lawyer, only passing the Bar Exam AND being admitted to practice makes you a lawyer.

    You now accuse me of threatening you, That is a boldface LIE on your part. You owe me an apology and a public retraction. I never threatened any action against you.

    BTW>>When one answers a civil suit with a counter-suit one had better be prepared to prove damages. You, who hides behind an internet handle would have no damages for which to seek compensation.

    Your use of DemonCrat sounds like either an uneducated fool or an 11 year old. Sounds like you’ve listened to too much right wing hate radio.

    I’ll not reply to you again, you are not worth my time. You like Trump have been caught lying.

    in reply to: Becoming an NCSY Advisor #1178654
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Sparkly……….

    No, I would not recommend it. NCSY is an organization that functions best for members who belong through their teenage years, not join in college. A newbie in college would feel totally out of place. It is not the purpose of the organization to serve that demographic.

    In my day the MO organization serving college students was Yavneh (I don’t believe it exists anymore). Very,very few NCSY girls get married within a year of ending being a teen (and certainly most not to Yeshiva bochrim). You say you are more on the MO side, but you appear to be to the right of most MO.

    I’m sorry you have not found the right group to volunteer in Kiruv efforts. I think you should look for a non-membership based organization who does not develop its own leadership so you will not be automatically excluded.

    Try volunteering at events hosted by NJOP (National Jewish Outreach Program) they are a dot org, not dot com and you can google their website for contact info

    in reply to: If Trump becomes president, I'm moving to Canada… #1190603
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Health….

    I’m an attorney…labeling someone a criminal who has not been convicted of a crime and publishing it on line as you did is libel.

    Yes I’ve heard of Vince Foster and service personnel killed in Libya. I also remember hundreds of marines killed in Beirut under Reagan. If you enlist in the military you go knowingly and willingly putting your life at risk.

    As for a Secretary of State using a private email server: two words Colin Powell. Other words: President George Bush. This is a non-issue constantly brought up by talking heads and empty suits on the Trump campaign.

    I am not convincing you to vote for Clinton, nor would I try, There is no way I’ll be voting for Trump. That said Trump will not win the electoral votes here in CT or in NY. (My prediction). I am not voting for Secretary Clinton because she is a Democrat, I’m voting for her because she is a better choice (IMO) for the USA than Trump.

    I wish we had better choices this year, but as long as elections are financed the way they are, we never will have great choices. As my late father A”L always said: “anyone willing to spend 100 million dollars to chase a $400,000 job has to be getting some personal return for friends and family.” Gone are the days of patrician families such as the Roosevelts who were independently wealthy and dedicated their adult lives to public service, not personal enrichment and power grabbing.

    in reply to: Becoming an NCSY Advisor #1178651
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Sparkly………..

    NCSY used to be for HS students only…it was refocused as an organization to serve teens. So, if you are over 12 and less than 20 you should be able to participate.

    In the olden days HS seniors and college freshman were often used as volunteers helping with Junior NCSY groups (grades 7 and 8). I don’t know the current model.

    in reply to: Becoming an NCSY Advisor #1178649
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Sparkly………

    What I am really saying is that NCSY in NYC, and parts pf northern NJ is quite different from the rest of the country and has ffb members and staff. Outside NYC area there is a big difference between ffb and Hareidi. FFB OOT is often the LOR’s kids who went to the only day school available, not the Bais Yaakov model. OOT there is less politics and the entire shomer shabbas world mixes well.

    in reply to: If Trump becomes president, I'm moving to Canada… #1190595
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I make no bones about being a liberal Dem who is involved in politics and was in attendance at the convention.

    I personally know Both of the Clintons since there days at Yale Law School. Mrs. Clinton is a brilliant person with a trues grasp of national and world affairs and in the Senate showed she can work across the aisle to accomplish her agenda.

    Trump is an opportunist, a failed businessman and husband. His multiple bankruptcies and pattern of not paying contractors in full for labor is despicable. He has no grasp of foreign policy, hires terrible advisors and if they don’t have the nerve to agree with him all the time he utters his famous ‘you fired’ and they are gone missing quite a bit of salary raised.

    Trump has turned the campaign into a personal cash cow, enriching his companies and family. It would be an embarrassment to have Melania as First Lady. Bill Clinton may have had his sexual indiscretions years ago, but there are no disgusting nude photos of him circulating in the media.

    Remember one thing, if President Obama had stood on the convention podium with 5 children born of three mothers white America would have torn him to shreds. Because Trump is supposedly wealthy (no tax returns released) his infidelity, multiple marriages to questionable women is excused. Grandpa Trump was a saloon keeper and pimp, running prostitutes in the Klondike. Daddy Trump was a housing magnate who discriminated against blacks. Donald is a serial adulterer, liar and failed businessman. You could send the whole clan back to their hometown in Germany and there’d be no loss to America. Just because one Trumpette had a conversion and married Jewish doesn’t sanitize the family.

    in reply to: ncsy #1177311
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Sparkly…………

    Back in the early 1970s I was on the preferred staff list for New England Region, as well as the approved kitchen staff list maintained at National NCSY HQ which was then at 84 5th Avenue. Having working in summer camp kitchens during high school and college I had both the ability to direct kitchen volunteers while serving hundreds of meals hot and on time, as well as respected kosher knowledge and and trust by the shul rabbis whose kitchens we used. I often was hired by these host rabbis to come back to their communities and cater synagogue events.

    Once Mrs. CTL and I had our second child we dropped out of advising at events unless they were in our home community. It was too hard for locals to arrange housing for ‘married with children staff’ at shul hosted events, and too costly for NCSY to house families at Hotel based events. Once our children became NCSY members we stopped completely (while continuing in adult boards and fundraising) as it is embarrassing for an adolescent to have his/her oarents as staff at an event.

    in reply to: Becoming an NCSY Advisor #1178645
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Sparkly,

    I think that you are referring to the type of ‘occasional’ advisor who staffs a Shabbaton or other event. These are not paid chapter advisors, but young college aged people recruited by the regional director and through networking of other advisors.

    It is the chapter advisors, usually at least grad school age or married members of the local community who are hired by the host synagogue, paid a salary and responsible for programming regular meetings and events throughout the academic year.

    50 years ago when I started the local advisor was a teacher in the public high school who taught history and Hebrew language. He was MO and required all students in his Hebrew classes to join NCSY for the tarbut component of the class.

    While in college and law school I was an advisor at many a Shabbaton and regional convention, and when early on in our marriage Mrs. CTL and I were advisors at Nation Convention for a few years.

    From a practical standpoint, if you are being shutout from being an advisor at these events it is usually for the following reasons:

    1. You are not an NCSY alumna..familiar to the regional director

    2. There is not a contingent of advisors being raised from your school dorm (Stern or Touro)

    3. The cost of housing and/or transporting you may be against you. You don’t live in the neighborhood of the event, or you don’t have a car and there are only so many spots in available vehicles

    I was involved in New England Region…it was much more economical to seek event advisors from colleges in the Boston area for Massachusetts, RI or Maine events than bear the cost of bringing young adults from NYC. I always had my own car, don’t ask how many times I met the MetroNorth train in New Haven loaded up with advisors from NY and drove another 3-6 hours to events.

    in reply to: Becoming an NCSY Advisor #1178642
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    sorry for all the typos in the above post. I was a at friend’s home this evening and had an allergic reaction to something and my eyesight is a bit fuzzy

    in reply to: ncsy #1177308
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Sparkly

    Please read my very long post on the other NCSY thread. I have been involved with NCSY for 50 years, as a member, advisor, adult board member, parent, grandparent. As a shul president I have hired many advisors over the years, and as a regional adult board member I have hired and raised the salary for regional directors.

    in reply to: Becoming an NCSY Advisor #1178641
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    NCSY has changed drastically over the decades.

    I was a member 50 years ago, and it served as a social networking mechanism for OOT orthodox Jews. The word Hareidi was generally unknown outside the NY Yeshiva world. NCSY’s goal was to develop observant adults who could lead OOT orthodox synagogues in the future. The vast majority of members were public school kids with some day school kids (usually the children of the LOR). This a a place Eurotraditional parents could send their children to meet eligible Jewish mates and the food at weekend events and conventions would be kosher. It was not so frum. Local chapters in OU shuls held mixed dances, etc. The goal was tp get NCSYers to continue Jewish education by steering them to YU or Stern, later to Touro.

    Each 10 years since, NCSY has moved farther to the right and has far more members not form public schools. This is not because NCSY doesn’t appeal or reach out to them, but because the subsequent generations to the post WWII baby boom of orthodox or Eurotraditional OOT Jews left the public schools at cities became more Nd more minority and public education went down hill.

    In the 1970s there was a wave of advisors from Shor Yoshuv and Rebitzen Friefelds (sp?) in Far Rockaway, the 1980s brought the Chofetz Chaim crowd. Then there were the sexual scandals that forced out certain leadership. Ever since the Founding Director Rabbi Pinchas Stolper moved on the organization has drifted right.

    That said chapter advosors who are paid are hired and paid by individual synagogues and OOT they are not amenable to advisors trying to make kids more frum than their parents and wanting to move their shuls to the right.

    NCSY is an arm of the UOJCA. It is NOT an umbrella organization for frum young people. Originally it brought together new chapteres in UO synagogues, YUSCY (Yeshiva University Synagogue Youth) and from Chicagoland- TSY (Traditional Synagogue Youth) many of whose congregations had an orthodox siddur but no mechitza.

    <y oldest grandchildren are now 3rd generation members, but they live OOT and are on the more observant side of membership. I have been a member of the adult board and the National Honor Society more more than 40 years. It has an important place in making sure that orthodox communities can survive OOT, but it is not a place for yeshiva yungerleit and Bais Yaakov girls to spend time.

    Yes, they are a Kiruv organization but their is the need to understand the politics of association. If you consider yourself a Black Hatter and not Kipah Serugah, NCSY is not the place for you.

    in reply to: How do I stop my wife spending??! #1177137
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Sparkly………

    I’m in agreement with you. The USA is not a theocracy and wives are not chattel belonging to husbands.

    In 1970 my sister was married immediately after graduating college and just before starting to teach. My brother and I each gave her $1,000 and told her this is your money, it is not your husband’s property. Soon you’ll be earning a living, but when the children come and only he is working you still need to have some independent money. We never want you in the situation of having to ask your husband for money to buy him a birthday gift. If this ever runs out and you have not been able tgo replenish it come back and tell us.

    About 10 years later when she had both a sickly husband and a deaf child, she told us she needed some extra personal funds. We were more than happy to help.

    When our eldest daughter was married erev Pesach our sons also gave her a private cash stash. It was larger than my sister got, as it is 45 years later.

    No woman should have to be so controlled by a man that she lives in fear of embarrassment that the husband would tell a merchant that my wife was not authorized to buy from you and demand the money back.

    in reply to: phone #1176603
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Lilmod……………….

    There are Yeshivas that don’t allow the bochurim to drive to/from the Yeshiva or keep a car near the dorm, but I haven’t run into many that don’t permit bochurim to get a license and drive at their parents homes during Bain Hazmanim….the license is also important for those who work at the summer camps associated with the Yeshiva and its movement.

    in reply to: phone #1176601
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    If your son drives a car or travels to and from Yeshiva or school on his own he should have a phone for safety.

    This doesn’t mean he should have a smart phone or the ability to text or play games. I carry an old fashioned flip phone and have texting blocked on my account. It is invaluable if one has to call for road service when there is car trouble.

    in reply to: Open if you care, read if you dare #1176630
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Shopping……. …..

    The coffee room is a diversion and amusement for me. I like to read differing opinions, minhagim, etc. from a wide spectrum of ‘observant’ Jews.

    I take none of it very seriously, but the regulars in this group are a support system as well as online friends. When Mrs. CTL was on life support in a coma this spring and early summer it was reassuring to know that Jews of all stripes who I have never met were praying for her well being and offering me moral support. No one cared if I daven Ashkenaz, Nusah HaAri, wore a kipah srugah or a sthreimel. I was just another Jew who needed emotional support and it was forthcoming despite my being a Liberal Democrat.

    in reply to: Do we need another frum judge? #1176356
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Yehudayona……………

    A judge in civil court will never have to pronounce a death sentence. Although we don’t have the death penalty in CT and most northern states it does exist in some jurisdictions. that’s why I differentiate between civil and criminal court appointments/elections.

    in reply to: Do we need another frum judge? #1176351
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Joseph….

    The fact that a computer schedules the judges doesn’t negate the fact that judges can and do reject cases. It happens all the time.

    I do occasionally appear in Federal Court in New York as it is the same District as CT and I am admitted. Last year I got a note from an old classmate who sits on the Federal Bench that he saw my name as counsel in a trial assigned to him, he had his clerk send it back for reassignment. No big deal.

    in reply to: Cancelling Bein Hazmanim? #1174974
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Monday afternoon I had to be at JFK International arrivals to meet a client coming in on Swiss International via Zurich. The flight was late. I watched many frum passengers coming out from flights arriving from EY, Europe and Australia. There were many families and girls returning home identifiable by their dress, all types of Yidden of every Chasidic, litvish or MO stripe.

    BUT I also saw at least 100 bochorim returning refreshed from visits home during bein hazmanim eager to return to Yeshiva and start the new zman. I was close enough to hear conversations in which they expressed the joy in having seen family and home, participating in family simchas or simply resting and eating momma’s food, sleeping in their own bed and not following the regimen of yeshivah and enduring dorm life. The bein hazmanim break is as important to the bochorim as their parents and siblings, if not more so…and don’t forget the rebbeim need a break as well.

    in reply to: Do we need another frum judge? #1176348
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Joseph……..

    Only a theoretical answer can be given to a hypothetical question.

    Until an actual occurrence occurs we’ll never know the action of a particular judge.

    As for NY being a busy place with many lawsuits by Jews, NY is a big place and as such has many more judges than smaller places. That said, a judge can only handle so many cases per week and NY has more judges. The administrative judge (and his clerk) assigns cases. The indvidual clerk and judge review assignments and it is common to refuse, trade off or otherwise duck cases. This is far different from recusing oneself from a case. In that case the litigants and or their attorneys appear before the judge and the judge explains that because of some bias, connection, prior knowledge, personal connection, etc. he/she cannot hear the case fairly and withdraws.

    I don’t live in NYC and I certainly am not running for a position as a civil court judge, but if I were and wanted to ease the possibility of adjudicating these cases that ‘should’ have been brought to a beis din, I’d ask the administrative judge to assign me to a court sitting in less Jewish populated area such as Richmond or the Bronx.

    BUT, this is all an exercise in Hypothetical and Theory, neither of us are the candidate and it is for him to decide what to do should he be elected and sworn in.

    Lastly, “Jews are limited by virtue of the fact that the default in Jewish law is that using non-Jewish courts is prohibited barring extenuating circumstances recognized by halacha.” is something the litigant(s) has/have chosen to ignore if suit was brought in civil court. The State cannot make people adhere to any system of non-civil law (Halacha, Canon, Sharia) if as residents or citizens they choose to make use of the civil courts they cannot be denied.

    in reply to: Do we need another frum judge? #1176346
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Joseph….

    In your hypothetical the Frum judge should simply have his clerk remove the case from his calendar for reassignment to another judge. He need not publicly (or privately comment as to why). The chief administrative judge would not likely ask why for these very rare instances.

    Do I think the Frum judge would do so, probably…see next paragraph.

    In the 1980s I remember an Irish Catholic judge who served in Superior Court (trial level court) in Connecticut. Judge F was very observant in his faith and did not believe in divorce as an option for Catholics. Every few years he would get stuck with a 3 month term in Family court. He’d attend the scheduling meetings and put his name down for custody and alimony cases and divorces that didn’t show the parties to be Catholic (done by examining the marriage licenses in the case files, ceremony not conducted by or signed by a priest). He’d pass on divorces between known Catholics letting Jewish or Protestant judges take the assignments.

    in reply to: Do we need another frum judge? #1176344
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I have known Morty (Mordechai Avigdor) since I was a teenager. I knew his parents OBM and his brothers. Both Morty and his Brother David practice(d) law. David has also been a shul rav in CT for more than 35 years. His father the Late Rabbi Dr. Issac C. Avigdor was a scholar publishing both sforim and books in English for lay Jewry.

    Boys in the Avigdor family were educated both in the Yeshiva world and with professional degrees to function in society at large. For many years Mordechai Avigdor represented Aguda in actions filed with the US government. Now he seeks a seat on the civil court bench. There is nothing wrong with a Jew applying civil law to solve contract cases (which is what civil court is about). This is not a judge who is charged with sending people to jail or enforcing dina malchusa, merely deciding if a party is aggrieved and entitled to be made whole under the law.

    I have no vote in this election and live in a state where we don’t elect judges (with the exception of part time probate judges). If I lived in the district I would gladly vote for Avigdor for Civil Court Judge

    in reply to: Affordable gift ideas for your spouse #1175039
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I have said for years that if I want something and can’t afford it, the chances are the giver (in the family) can’t afford it either.

    One of the best gifts Mrs. CTL ever gave me was a certificate for 5 nights of my choosing for uninterrupted time with her….

    No kids, relatives, no calls, doorbells, just us.

    I enjoyed every one of them.

    The cost was her time to arrange that the kids be elsewhere and we not be disturbed. Worth much more to me than anything that could be purchased for money.

    in reply to: Tell us about your first date with your spouse #1183870
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Popa………..

    University of PA, Wharton School of Finance, Penn Law….back then they had a special 6 year program BS, MBA, JD

    UCONN is a good Law School but not IVY League, growing up in New Haven I had no desire to go to Yale and the only other Law School in Connecticut was University of Bridgeport which was not a great school. Some 30 years ago its faculty voted to leave UB and join Quinnipiac and it is a much better school.

    Small states don’t have much choice in professional schools. Until this year we had only 2 medical school: Yale and UCONN, now Quinnipiac has opened one to compete. In fact there are only 8 schools in CT where one can get a BSRN, 3 are Catholic Universities, the Quinnipiac and 4 state Universities who only take 40 students each per year. That’s why youngest daughter is doing her BSRN in NY.

    in reply to: Tell us about your first date with your spouse #1183851
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I was in Law School in Philadelphia, Mrs. CTL to be was doing a grad degree at Teachers College, Columbia U. Our mothers had been childhood friends and suggested we go out.

    So, I took the train up from Phila., we had dinner at Lou G. Siegel’s in the garment district (charged the meal to Zaideh’s house account) and then went to a basketball game at Madison Sq. Garden. The Knicks lost, but I won. Married the next year after both graduations…almost 45 years ago.

    I haven’t been to a Knick’s game since

    in reply to: Shiduch presents #1175109
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Yehudayona….

    Tallis size is dependent on the person. I was less than 1″ taller at marriage than at my Bar Mitzvah, and I weighed less. I was a very heavy adolescent, but only a heavy adult.

    in reply to: Diamonds Are Overrated! #1177661
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Joseph…………

    Please do not put words in my mouth.

    Nowhere do I post that diamonds are required for an engagement. The fact that it is our family tradition is certainly not binding on others.

    As for the deception, it is not between the giver and recipient that concerns me, it is the assumed false representation to the world that presents a problem.

    I could no more see my wife or daughters wear a CZ than fake designer handbags or clothing, it’s not what we do.

    These are all personal feelings, they are not to say that use and wearing of CZ or other faux diamond rings is acceptable to others. I have written buy what you can afford. You should also buy what you feel comfortable owning and wearing.

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