Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Joseph……………
Any student filling out a FAFSA form for school loans, Pell Grants, etc. is met with questions such as each parents level of education and degrees earned.
Joseph…..
No, one would not ask for the potential machatenester’s HS Diploma. You might ask the potential SIL/DIL where did your parents graduate?
Should the potential SIL/DIL have to dance around and reply: mom attended XYZ High School, as opposed to a truthful ‘mom didn’t graduate high school.’
May not seem important yo you, but mothers often help children with homework and I would want the mother of my grandchildren to be able to help with work though high school.
In our family’s case it is doubtful that our children/grandchildren would even have a first meeting with a potential mate whose parents did not have advanced degrees, never mind college and high school; but us being professionals who are part of the Hareidi world is not the norm.
Jhonny………………
You are sounding like a defiant teen. Nowhere in my post did I talk about someone not wanting YOU.
I spoke about the repercussions that might be felt by your children in the future.
In shidduchim, the parents’ backgrounds are often as important as those of the boy/girl. The boy/girl is young and unproven, the parents are grown and have a track record that is open to examination.
This is just a reality check, not finding fault with you and your present state.
Someday your children may have to fill out forms that ask for their parents’ levels of education. It may embarrass them to write that momma was a high school dropout.
Never mind, how potential machatunim might view this when considering your child in a shidduch. I would not think a family valued education highly if a 21st century parent didn’t at least have a high school diploma.
Yes, this is judgmental, but I’m being a realist.
You will not regret finishing your work and getting a diploma.
Lightbrite……….
“In other words, are they not putting business and comfort in front of family and integration of generations?”
It’s not an either or situation.
When I fly for business purposes and NEED to work on the plane it is not putting business and comfort ahead of family. It is being able to do the business that supports the family and provides for all the nice intergenerational things we do.
All those hours spent commuting to a trial in Florida while working on the plane paid for bringing all the children and grandchildren, nieces, nephews and their families in for 10 day summer holiday/family reunion at the CTL compound.
When I fly with my grandchildren we fly coach so as not to disturb business travelers in First Class who may have work to do.
I’m a dog lover, we currently have 4. But I am not thrilled by the extension of Jewish celebrations to those who could not be eligible.
I have a dear friend, whose 15 year old dog died Motzei Shabbos. On Monday, he posted a montage of pictures of the dog’s life. The pictures included the dog’s Bark Mitzvah which occurred at a small CT synagogue run by Chabad (Chabad took over a dying shul, 90% of the congregants are not frum). I did not find this amusing. It was in bad taste, similar to a Bar Mitzvah dinner I attended in 1965, when the family dog was dressed in a Tuxedo and brought into the hall to light a candle on the cake.
There is a time and place for dogs to mingle, I don’t believe it is in shul r a banquet hall.
Of course I do…it’s that long skinny thing on the map between Lebanon, Jordan, Egypt and the Med Sea.
Until 1904 it did contain Cocaine. At that point they started using ‘spent’ Coca leaves whose cocaine had already been extracted for other uses
Those of you old enough to have grown up in pre-Civil Rights Act USA (1964) may have remembered that ‘colored’ or ‘Negro’ females were called women, not Ladies.
Times have changed for the better
Because, with the exception of very, very few women who held titles in their own right, the wives and daughters of almost all British nobles were called ‘Lady’. The wife would be called Lady Spencer (example wife of Earl Spencer, while their daughter was called Lady Diana. An exception would be daughters of the lowest noble rank, Baronet, who would have been introduced as The Honorable, not Lady.
The wives of those appearing in Birk’s Landed Gentry were also called Ladies.
Gentlemen could be used to refer to all Landed Gentry.
A greeting at a mixed table of nobility and gentry would be ‘Milords, Ladies and Gentlemen.
Little Froggie…………..
Disclosure>we have 4 dogs, but they run in a private fenced in 1/2 acre and humans are not affected by their waste.
I have a number of questions:
Who owns this land?
If it is your landlord’s you can ask him/her to post signs re: no dog walking, no trespassing..violators will be prosecuted. Take video of the offenders and go the police.
If it does not belong to your landlord make a complaint to the health department about the unsanitary condition and let them handle it.
BUT: it may be that your children don’t have the right to transverse this land to access the school bus and you may be stirring up a hornet’s nest.
lilmod………..
On a number of American ‘puddle jumpers’ flying short distances between small airports the planes do not have a separate cockpit and fly with only a pilot. I was able to sit in the co-pilot seat a number of times on such flights 20-40 years ago.
lesschumras…
you are correct, but I would do everything possible not to be in rows 15-20.
My seat of choice is 2A
lilmod
I’m not calling for adult only flights, just quiet work sections on the planes. In the late 70s and early 80s I was commuting NY-Paris every other week while working for a major multinational corp. I regularly flew TWA (OBM) who used Boeing 747s on the route. The upper deck was First Class and for work and/or sleep. They did not show a movie and did not book any chlidren in that area. It was not a published rule, but done by considerate corporate planners. When a company such as the one I worked for booked 6 First Class tickets 26 Sunday Nights of the year on the same flight it’s amazing what the airlines would do to accommodate us.
Joseph…………..
why must it be expressed as ANTI-CHILDREN
It could also be expressed as PRO-ADULT or PRO-WORKING TRAVELER
Two years ago I was flying back and forth to Florida 3 days a week for 4 weeks for a trial involving one of my trust clients and his holdings there.
I needed the ability to work on the planes. The client was paying big money for first class seats and my time so that I could work in transit (it was tax season so I could not stay in Florida for a month).
Most of the time I was able to work, but on three flights the poor behavior of young children, not well supervised by their parent(s), did not allow concentration. If an airline had an ADULT ONLY zone, even at a premium I’d have booked it.
Since then if I MUST work on a flight en route to a trial/client I use NetJets. The client pays and I am productive. It doesn’t make sense for a client to be paying a billing rate of $500+ per hour plus the cost of a first class ticket and have me unable to work.
If flying on a pleasure trip I don’t mind children nearby, as long as one is not kicking the back of my seat.
The appropriate time to let the person in charge know is when you check in in the morning. Then your name can be moved to the first panels sent to courtrooms to be interviewed. Don’t wait until midafternoon, because if they still have juries to fill they won’t necessarily let you leave early.
Here, in CT state courts don’t call prospective jurors to report on Fridays. If you get a notice to report erev yuntif, you simply go on the judicial website and pick another date within 10 months for jury duty.
Youngest…………
It was as if my older siblings and AI had different parents/lives. They lived in a high rise NY apartment for up to the first 15 years of their lives. Dad had a job.
I was born in CT, we had a house, dad owned a business, mom was a school principal.
But unlike the others who said they had to care for younger siblings, I got stuck with nieces and nephews and taking care of parents in their old age.
In fact when I was a child and my father would take me to trade shows to buy for the stores he would introduce me as his kaddish…talk about growing up with Jewish guilt!
Our children range from 42 to 19 and I have made sure that the younger ones never felt obligated to care for nieces and nephews and could enjoy their teen years.
Unlike some, I or my children never wore hand me down clothing, as my father was in the business. Toys, books, sporting equipment did get passed down, big deal.
Because someone will just post a link to the existing thread
Your thread started July 2014
yehudayona…………
I don’t wear off the rack suits because they would require hundreds of dollars in tailoring. I am short, fat, and have an inoperable abdominal hernia.
My sons are tall and slender, having inherited genes from the other side of the family. They like Italian designer suits and can often find bargains at Woodbury Commons. All they need is to have the pants hemmed and shatnez handled.
wolky…………
I work very hard for what I have. My OMA taught me that one buys the absolute best that one can afford and it is much cheaper in the long run. Better to have less of the best than inferior things.
OMA didn’t speak Yiddish, but the expression in Yiddish is: ????? ??? ??????
Cheap is dear.
My custom made suits last me at least a dozen years, which works out to $100 per year. That’s not expensive compared to a typical $400 off the rack suit that lasts 2-3 years.
NOT THAT I HAVE TO JUSTIFY MY SPENDING HABITS TO YOU!!!!
jhonny appleseed…………..
Not when you live OOT. Very often there is only one school, or you MUST send your children away and they have to dorm or live with relatives.
The local yeshiva for boys was lacking in many ways when our oldest sons were high school age….luckily, they were happy to live with my older brother in Brooklyn and went to school there.
Our three girls attended three different schools, so the idea they had to go where the older sister went didn’t hold with us. By the time the second was high school age there was a second girls high school in the area and our middle daughter and her friends chose the new school (they specifically did not want the Chabad school that was around for 50 years as we are Misnagid). Our youngest daughter chose to commute 35 miles to a third school. We carpooled for two years,and she drove her own car the final two years…I know that wouldn’t fly in many communities, but OOT religious girls often drive and have cars…there is little or no public transit.
Mammale………..
Really? How would you know what Ivanka and Jared would have done?
A daughter doesn’t necessarily stay far away from the father who supports her.
How large were the campaign salaries they were paid? We’ll never know, just as the liar in chief will never release his tax returns.
I respect the OFFICE of the President of the USA. I have no respect for them who was just sworn in. I have met him, had business dealings and had him cheat my brother’s business out of money for work performed and equipment provided.
Mrs. CTL had 10 surgeries in 2016, spent 27 days on life support in ICU and had coverage because of the requirements placed on insurance companies by the ACA. $2.5 million in bills…we used to have a $1 million cap before ACA. This rasha immediately is looking to repeal ACA, but he and his family will have unlimited care on out nickel.
Now with a preexisting condition Mrs. CTL may not be able to buy new coverage at any price. I pray it doesn’t happen to you. Enjoy Trump, I’ll woirk to oppose his actions every day…if he actually does something I support, I’ll voice my approval…I am open minded.
Orifice
Indian
Huju………………….
I’m still reacting to the Trump way of presenting nonfacts.
I’m a Liberal with a Capital L. Give people rights and let them choose whether to take advantage of them.
In my generation the vast majority of American Orthodoxy could be described as EuroTraditional. As a 5th generation born in the USA I found that laughable.
Joseph,
Actually my suits are made in Hong Kong and are British designed. My sons wear Italian designed suits, they are much more slender than I am.
Joseph………
Thank you for understanding exactly what I was saying
Lightbrite……….
actually my great uncle was second generation born in America, his grandparents arrived in the 1860s. I’m 5th generation born here on one side and 4th on the other.
My paternal grandmother’s side now stretches to 9 generations born in the USA with 5 of the extant lines still orthodox of assorted hues.
I know these things because we have a family foundation approaching 100 years old with 2 owned cemeteries in NY. The family tree in the USA now includes more than 1200 positions.
This is not a topic for me. I neither wear slim fit anything, nor off the rack clothing.
Good luck in your search
Geordie………..
jy is welkom………….
My great uncle attended JTS in 1898 (his grandparents came to NY from what is now Belarus in 1868). In 1960 he was looking for a retirement pulpit in Florida and had to constantly explain that when he went to JTS it was Orthodox.
American Orthodoxy has seen a great shift to the right since the Hungarian Revolution of 1956.
Huju….
Sorry, you are presenting ‘alternative facts.’
Rabbi Hertz did NOT attend Union Theological Seminary, he attended the Jewish Theological Seminary in NYC.
Although JTS has been the seminary of Conservative Judaism for many decades, it was founded in the late 1800s as an Orthodox institution to combat the spread of Reform Judaism in America. At the time Rabbi Hertz was in attendance it was an Orthodox institution.
I hated my high school. I wasn’t challenged at all and the teachers had jobs solely because they were relatives of the Menahel.
My parents arranged for me to take college courses during the day and attend shiur at night. As long as they were paying full tuition the school was just fine with it. By the time I finished high school I had 33 college credits.
About 3 years after I left, a new Board of Directors took over and cleaned house. My younger siblings had a better experience after that.
Joseph…
It doesn’t matter what these three men do…they were born Jews. Keeping Shabbos was a condition of conversion for Ms. Trump.
Since I’m both old enough, and grew up OOT. The Hertz Chumash was used in most ‘Orthodox’ US synagogues from the 1950s on. It had an English translation before many were available. Synagogues purchased sufficient quantity to supply the ‘three day a year’ members, so they remained usable for decades.
In the 1990s when I was President of an old time OOT Orthodox synagogue they were still using Machzorim for the Yomin Noraain that were printed in 1932 (they are still in use). They owned about 1000 copies and the shul had dwindled to 300 members as people moved to the suburbs.
When Chumashim and Siddurim are owned in quantity and are in good physical condition, replacement is one of the last things a synagogue’s Board of Directors will spend money on.
Shul shopping is quite different for singles, married with young kids,retired……….
It’s about:
What nusach/tradition they daven
What is the seating like
What classes are offered? To whom, by whom, when
Do they have a social hall, classrooms, mikveh
Do they have a cemetery
How much are dues?
What does that include? Tickets, plots, yahrzeit notices (or do they nickel and dime you to death? I prefer paying one fee that covers everything for the year.
Are there active auxiliary organizations? Youth group, mens club, sisterhood, Chevra kedisha, bikur cholim society
You have to attend a number of services, functions, and meet rabbi, members before you can say yes.
Saying no may occur after a few minutes. The first time Mrs. CTL attended services in the shul closest to our first home, she left after 10 minutes. When I arrived home for lunch she told me that she was unable to hear a single word from the bima while seated in the balcony.
We tried 5 or 6 other shuls before finding one that made us both comfortable and met our needs.
Yehudayona……….
The President assumes office at noon on January 20th (or a VP becomes President upon the vacancy of the office ala LBJ). The oath taking need not take place immediately, it is tradition to have taken place on March 3 until the date was changed by Constitutional amendment to January 20. A new President could assume all powers at noon and have his oath administered .
I don’t know that there is a halachic problem with being sworn in on Shabbos, trhe President doesn’t have to sign anything, and doesn’t have to speak into a microphone. These are added trappings, not requirements.
Lilmod……….
My respect is for the POTUS no matter what name is attached. I give no respect to MR. Trump as an individual…he hasn’t earned it up til now.
Lightbrite……
to be honest…who cares what designer created the clothing the 3rd Mrs. Trump wore on January 20th. Putting a pig in a gown doesn’t make her less a pig. She has a history of posing in inappropriate pictures and carried on an affair with Trump while he was married to #2.
I shall respect President Trump because he has been sworn into an official government position. I have and will give no respect for his 3rd wife. She occupies no official government position.
Joseph………..
a true Capitalist is in business to make profit. One sells product to people willing to purchase, one doesn’t have to like them, just take their money. Fred Trump was not going to live among the purchasers fo the properties in Brooklyn and Queens and if selling to Jews didn’t harm total sales, so be it. If at that time selling to Negroes (deliberately using the accepted term of the era) would have caused whites to shy away, he would not have sold.
I inherited a bungalow in the Catskills that was built in 1946 and marketed to returning US servicemen after WWII. The deed had a restriction that no person of color could could buy, occupy the cottage, or use any common facility (lake, ball fields, casino, etc.) nor be on the premises for more than 4 hours per week to clean or cook. Do I think it represensible? Yes…but the law of NY and the USA permitted these restrictions until 1964 when the Civil Rights Act was signed by LBJ.
Zahavasdad (sorry I couldn’t reply earlier)
Inaugural Balls are not a minhag medinah, but a minhag of the particular President, and scheduled at his whim. There is no requirement to hold the ‘official’ inaugural ball the nigt of the swearing in (or to even have one).
“The first Inaugural Ball (for George Washington) was held a week after the Inauguration. Presidents have cancelled inaugural balls for various reasons. Franklin Pierce, who was mourning the recent death of his son in 1853, Woodrow Wilson, who in 1913 felt that inaugural balls were too expensive, and Warren G. Harding, who in 1921 wanted to set an example of simplicity, all opted to end the custom of inaugural balls. Private parties known as “charity balls”, were held during the second inauguration of Calvin Coolidge in 1925, for Herbert Hoover in 1929, and especially during the depression and World War II era inaugurations of Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1933, 1937, 1941, and 1945.”
The new President could have chosen any date he wanted for the ball (from January 20th on) or no ball at all.
Lightbrite………….
Why not? There is no issue of Shabbos at noon when the President is sworn in. There is no governmental requirement to hold or attend balls/parties in the evening after the swearing in.
flatter
antenna
NevilleChaimBerlin…………
I don’t agree with your premise that people only go to college to get a degree that can lead to a job.
Many seniors, my late parents included got additional college degrees after retirement in areas that interested them. They had absolutely no interest in returning to the workforce in their 80s. In Connecticut, for example, seniors attend the state university classes at no charge.
My father A”H got his BA from City College in NY back in 1938 and my Mother from Hunter in 1939…the only cost was the 50 cents per week for the subway…even the books were provided. My father got a MS and PhD in his late 80s. The study was for personal enrichment and the degree marked his proficiency. My mother got her MS, 6th Year and PhD in the 1960s and they were for professional advancement. She did however, complete a MS in Anthropology at age 91 and it was not for the purpose of employment (she had retired a quarter century earlier).
anonymiss………..
The community isn’t moving, the high school is. The community is dependent on both the former UCONN branch campus they got for a song, seriously depressed housing prices and easy commutes to Hartford, Danbury, Bridgeport, and New Haven. I have a cousin living there who bought cheaply 7 years ago and commutes to an engineering position in Danbury. The community is not centered in the Cooke St area near what was the high .school building
Lenny1970………..
Without reading all the signed documents I could not give you a legal opinion That said, it matters not what your prehearing discussions were (oral or in e-mails). A civil court is bound by the 4 corners of the contract (the document you signed). If the limitation of arbitration is NOT in the contract than as far as civil courts are concerned it does not exist,
You would be hard pressed to prove that you signed the agreement for a hearing under duress or lack of mental ability making it void. Such a claim regarding mental status could lead to you being placed under a guardianship or even being institutionalized.
I wish you well and hope that you can go forward and build a new and different life. There is life after divorce, and it is often better.
Syag………..
I moved out of New Haven in 1988, but still have property there and appear in court there regularly. My mother remained until 2013 so I was in town at least 3 times a week. It’s not great, but far better and safer than Waterbury.
Sorry, that Mrs. CTL has been so unwell this past year or we’d figure a way to host your son.
The high school in Waterbury was located in the old Conservative synagogue that closed decades ago. The neighborhood is lousy (I say this having owned 3 businesses in Waterbury, various 3 family houses on Cooke St and even taught Sunday School in the Orthodox shul more than 40 years ago.
I would not feel safe letting my adolescent/teen son dorm in this neighborhood, use the parks, shops, etc.
So, they bought 50 acres in the sticks for a new high school campus. It’s fine for a self-contained campus but will not be suitable for development into a frum neighborhood.
Syag
New Haven…my birthplace and also (unfortunately) that of former President George W Bush.
It was a great place to grow up and live in the 50s and 60s, many shuls, butchers, bakeries, delis, yeshivos, day schools, JCC serving 30,000 Jews. All gone with white flight in the late 60s and early 70s
Actually it’s about 25 minutes NNE of New Haven, CT
Golfer, thank you.
Knowing when to go is a hard thing, especially when one partner doesn’t want to accept a marriage is over.
I’m no clinical psychologist, but the denial may be part of the aforementioned PTSD.
The biggest part of leaving a marriage that is over is not to say ‘I Failed’ but the ‘marriage failed’ some people can never bring themselves to be called a failure.
kollelman……
If accusations of physical abuse were to be raised, a hearing of the Beis Din or a judge in Civil Court may entertain an ex parte motion for the safety of the abused. This is different than the actual trial.