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I, too, have wondered if the mods have contacted a halachic authority about these threads.
(Joseph, could you please spell “ohel” differently? It looks like “ohel Sarah” this way.)
A Twitter account is not a quotable source unless it is anonymous.
It’s better than quoting mius celebrities or tumadik songs, no?
On that subject, quoting someone does not usually imply a high regard
for that person or a general agreement with their opinions or behavior.The writer believing that “some will criticize” his article
does not justify pre-emptively calling it controversial.You shouldn’t leave any children on your own doorstep.
But that’s not the lesson – that’s assumed pre-existing knowledge he was referring to.I think what Oyyoyyoy would like is for someone
to explain the sin of “hotziu dibas haAretz.”[S]ubsequent developments in the wood pulp industry have made its lignin wastes less attractive as a raw material for vanillin synthesis. While some vanillin is still made from lignin wastes, most synthetic vanillin is today synthesized in a two-step process from the petrochemical precursors guaiacol and glyoxylic acid.
-WikipediaWhat do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What do you call a Mexican who’s lost his car?
Carlos.
Are you sure? Every Mexican I’ve known without a car has been Joaquin.What’s the difference between a duck?
Two of its legs are both the same.(The humor in this joke is to be found in the confused look on the audience’s faces.)
What’s got five fingers and drives a tractor? A farmhand.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting co-
MOOOOOOOOO!My wife is always yelling at me because I get my
directions mixed up, so I packed my bags and right.Those new corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Doctor: Bob, you’ve got diabetes, heart problems, and obesity.
Bob: Yeah, it runs in my family.
Doctor: No, Bob, it’s because no one runs in your family.I told my friend I could make a car out of spaghetti,
but she didn’t believe me. Well, you should’ve seen
her face when I drove pasta.I want to die like my grandfather, peacefully, in his sleep;
not screaming in terror, like his passengers.(Computer nerds only:)
Hi, I’d like to hear a TCP joke.
Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?
Yes, I’d like to hear a TCP joke.
OK, I’ll tell you a TCP joke.
OK, I’ll hear a TCP joke.
Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?
Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.
OK, I’m about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters,
it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline.
OK, I’m ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters,
does not have a setting and will end with a punchline.
I’m sorry, your connection has timed out… …Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “What can I get you?”
He responds, “Just a fruit punch for me, I’m driving.” The bartender
says, “Fine, but you have to get in line.” The patron stops and looks
around, eventually saying, “I don’t see a punch line.”How do you get a hundred Canadians out of a pool?
Say, “Would everyone please get out of the pool.”I know a good knock knock joke, but you need to start it.
OK, knock knock.
Who’s there?Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says, “Moooo.”
The other cow says, “Darn, I was just about to say that.”Two cows are standing in a field.
One cow says, “Hey, are you nervous about mad cow disease?”
The other responds, “Not at all – I’m a helicopter.”I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked
the bucket. He said “How far do you think I can kick this bucket?”A polar bear walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have…………………. a beer”.
The bartender asks, “What’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I don’t know, I was born with them.”A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”
Last night I dreamed that I was a muffler,
and when I woke up, I was still exhausted.Why does a chicken coup have 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan.Why can’t you see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re very good at it.Do you know why when geese fly in a V, one end is longer than the other?
Because there are more geese on that end.Why did the old lady fall in the well?
Because she didn’t see that well.Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks at the other and asks, “How do you drive this thing?”
Two soldiers are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, “GLUB GLUB GLUB.”
Two birds are sitting on a perch. One asks the other, “Can you smell a fish?”
Where do generals keep their armies?
In their sleevies.How do you think the unthinkable?
With an ithberg.Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they’d still be on the boat.What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.How do you make a net?
You sew a bunch of holes together.A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
This is my stepladder. I never knew my real ladder…
I bought the world’s worst thesaurus last week.
Not only is it terrible, but it is terrible.My thesaurus arrived yesterday, but when I opened it, it was blank inside.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I
accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.I told my friend that her eyebrows were too high on her head. She looked surprised.
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.What’s blue and doesn’t weigh very much?
Light blue.Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump.
I said, “Don’t do it!”
He said, “Nobody loves me.”
I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”
He said, “Yes.”
I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”
He said, “A Christian.”
I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?”
He said, “Protestant.”
I said, “Me, too! What franchise?”
He said, “Baptist.”
I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”
He said, “Northern Baptist.”
I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.”
I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.”
I said, “Me, too!” Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”
I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.
If I try to keep the emes in the world,
will I get swallowed up by the evil world of sheker?Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t know what that means.
Please don’t quote his Twitter account.
Joseph, I’m trying to understand if you have extreme, overzealous views or are merely trolling.
I suggest you give up.
I think this confirms that posts now appear in the order they were approved.
(Avi K – that was meant to say that the code for italics is “em.”)
Mentsch1 – What are “GPS geyrim?”
Zahavasdad – If I didn’t know that, what could I possibly have meant?
(Avi K – it’s
, and it’s a hei in “hotzaas.”)the burden of pointing out to every rejected poster the line their submission crossed
They are under no obligation to do so, and generally don’t.those that never even got through due to some browser hiccup on my end
If you think that happened, try again (and maybe note that that’s why you’re doing so).Miami newspapers’ classified sections (looking and advertising)?
This isn’t a suggestion, but I notice that some unapproved posts are visible (as “awaiting moderation”)
to anyone, but others can only be seen (as “awaiting moderation”) while logged in as that poster.
Why might this be?(Has this thread been posted before? The opening seems very familiar.)
*”redife”ing
All this talk of “redif”ing and “redifne”ing… where will it lead? : (
Today, disqualifying anyone in whose family there is
a boy who is not a ben Torah seems unreasonable.Also, Reb Yaakov said that it doesn’t apply so much now. It’s in
his ArtScroll biography somewhere (I can try to find it if you like).If someone is an open transgressor, and is not known to ever
have not been, would that call their conversion into question?I saw the title and was worried that someone had made
a documentary about tznius committees or some such.
(Is an interfaith talk show actually more worrying? )If one must have sight or sound recognition of their spouse for them to
be permitted to each other, how does a blind deaf person get married?
It’s a logical question.The “Favorite lines from any song thread” was closed so that
mods wouldn’t have to reject any more posts from me in it
(that’s my egomaniacal interpretation of that event, anyway).Avi – You need to wash your hands for hygiene, and the
inference is that you can have a non-vicious dog.He would trust the assembled crowd. (If he were to think he was marrying one woman,
while the bride present was actually another woman, that marriage would be invalid.)There was a smiley there… Nu, what about high animals?