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I’ve seen too many families my own cousins included who made the move and the kids did not fit in the system and would have been a lot better off staying in America. I’ve also seen too many Israelis coming to America to collect for kids weddidng. Yes I know there are ppl that can’t make ends meet in Americal but its a lot harder in Israel.
First of all call me frum why don’t you move to Israel if its such a big mitzva. Probably you are not moving there for the very good reasons everyone else is not. As far as the charaide system goes its very black and white and most Americans fit in the gray area and kids get royally messed up and when they don’t fit in the system there. Also how exactly is one to support a family there if they dont speak the language and never served in the army.
My parents do not fully support their girls but they “help” until the girl is self suffeciant (finishes college and gets job). When my parents look into girls for their sons they expect the same thing and will say no if the girls parents are not going to help out and the girl does not have a college degree. I have no problem asking for support for your sons but I say you can only demand for your sons what you are giving for your daughters. I have gotten no’s from boys from parents with no money cuz my parents werent offering enough. That I think is a major chutzpah. I really don’t think they were supporting their daughters the amount they were demanding for their son. In your case though if money will call off a shidduch the parents should really discuss that before the guy and girl go out cuz its really shame when 2 ppl like each other and the parents dont let it go thru cuz of moeny issues.