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If one would see a frum Jew acting without derech eretz to others be they Jewish or not, talking loudly, throwing dirt on the floor, bekitzur, not acting metnchlich, wouldn’t that bother anyone? Now what if a lot of frum people did that and that was the accepted behavour of the frum oilim, wouldn’t that cause a flurry of letters to frum newspapers, ranting in the CR or other places where frum people rant?
The very same people who are accepting of pritzus would be the ones screaming that we have to behave, that we can’t make a chillul Hashem.
Pritzus in our machaneh is a chillul Hashem!
Dave Hirsch, thank you for bringing up this important topic. How would you say the halachas of
the Mechaber says that one should not build himself a home like the kings (and many Achronim including the Chasam Sofer apply this in building new homes in general
and
The Mechaber says that one should leave an Amoh over an Amoh unpainted
can help us mourn the churban?
How can we not only be sad about the churban, but also connect and feel that we are waiting anxiously for the coming of Moshiach?
In regards to the poster who said store would not take back an item because it was on sale. You do know that most Goyishe stores do not allow returns on sale items as well?
As a buyer who basically shops at chain stores and department stores, I never came across such a policy except for once. The chain store that had a final sale policy sold exclusively maternity wear and I could understand their reasoning for such a policy.
Why in the world should I ever shop here again if they have such crazy policies?
I ask myself the same thing.
I just decided that the the one thing I buy for my kids in a frum owned store, shoes (besides for food) I will stop buying bl”n. The supposedly good quality shoes I pay full price on (believe me, this goes against my nature) usually don’t last a full season. And if they do, they look they they went through a war zone.
Here’s what happend this time that made me say, zeh hu. I paid full price on supposedly good shoes. And what did I get? Garbage. The shoes didn’t last for one full month.
No, the shoe store owner did not supply us with new shoes, even though I saw other torn shoes from this company lying on the counter. Obviously they were returned because they were defective.
Now I’m not saying all the frum shoe store owners don’t give good service and maybe I even feel bad the owner who would lose all his money would he give new shoes for free for all of the people whose shoes got torn. But why would I keep on going back and spending good money for shoes that tear before the season is over?
myfiend, I saw an article a while ago in the Yiddish newspaper Der Blatt where they brought an article from one of the big secular papers, I think it was The New York Times if I remember correctly, where they had a whole article complete with diagrams and sketchings of the global cooling shtuess.
If you want to know what diagrams and sketchings looked like, just look at the diagrams and sketchings that they have today of global warming and make benahapech hu in your mind.
Science is dependent ONLY on things that are detectible through observation or experiment
That’s true in theory, not reality. Not only are scientist continuously theorizing the world’s beginings (computorized models and well skectched images does not make their theories reality) but to come to conclusions they oftentimes first theorize how things can happen and then experiment. And until their experiment doesn’t fail, they don’t always admit that their conclusions are theory’s. Think global warming – mark my words, in twenty years it will be a joke.
000646, you gave me food for thought and I’ve been thinking the last few days if our thinking and coming to conclusions is of no consequense to us if the bottom line is that the truth is the truth, regardless of how we look at it. What if I thought my parents and teachers were hypocrates and I couldn’t take an example of what they taught? Does my analyzing and coming to conclusions mean nothing? Do we only need emunah peshutah and our thinking and analyzing has no value?
Furthermore, if reshoyim have no emunah peshutah in Judaism, which is quite understandable, then why is it their fault if they do evil things? For example, can we blame the Crusaders for killing out whole Jewish communities if their priests goaded these Crusaders to do that because of religious reasons? If the Jews didn’t want to accept their “true religion” then it was the “right” thing for these Crusaders to kill these “unbelievers” . Didn’t they have a right to their belief? Much like Islamic terrorists today, don’t they have a right to their religious belief that according to the Koran “infidels” have to be annihilated?
The answer is that within every human being Hashem gave the instinctive knowledge of the Sheva Mitzvos Bonei Noach which are mitzvos that one insticively knows that one cannot violate. To violate these mitzvos one needs to silence the inner voice that knows instinctively that to do that is wrong. Here is where humans are different than animals: they have the ability to think and come to conclusions. But if they want their conclusions to be the truth, they cannot violate their inborn instincts that a human has to know right from wrong. If we deny this, then Nazis, Hizbollah, murderers, and any evil human cannot be demanded justice of.
The same is with us Jews. We instinctively know that the Torah is true. That’s why simple Jews who had little knowledge of Judaism, gave up their lives al kiddush Hashem throughout the ages. They listened to their inner voices of emunah peshutah, because it was there. Inherent within us Jews is the knowledge that the Torah is divine. We can either use our thinking abilities to silence that belief, or to recognize our belief in the divinity of the Torah.
We also need to remember that frum people too cannot be spoken rudely to, judged, and looked down at for having different opinions.
The cost of a house is not the only consideration one should take into account when buying a house. Property taxes is a major issue that has just as big of of impact on s/o’s pocket as the cost of the house itself.
In addition to the current tax rate, it’s important to look at how much the rates increased in the last few years in the erea one is looking to by a house because it may be an indication of what will happen with the taxes in that area in the coming years.
I’m talking with 20/20 hindsight here.
I’ve seen immature people become menstchen after getting married.
There is a difference between immaturity and bad middos which a 75 year old person can have as well. Bad middos can have a detrimental effect in marriage, while being married and having kids make MOST people mature quickly.
When talking about life experience, how is someone supposed to have marital experience if they were never married? One who has experience in some areas in life doesn’t necessarily mean that they are experienced in all areas.
Philosopher- why did you choose Belz Yeshiva as an example? Just wondering…
smartcookie, don’t wonder for too long. I’m not Belz, I’m from a different Chasidus. Actually I’m originally from a neutral Chassidishe background, if you know what I mean and I call myself a Chossid (or Chassideste) of the Aibishter. My husband and consequently my family and I are not Belze Chassidim. My husband is a farbrente Chosid from a different Rebbe.
Max well, thank you so much. I really appreciate the chizuk.
I must say I was a taken aback at the attacks that I got for writing Torah true hashkofos on a Torah true site and at the double standard of applying holochos of dan l’kaf zchus to sinners and not giving the benefit of doubt to frum people.
Ah fakerte velt.
That smiley didn’t work out too well, did it?
da, your guess is correct.
Moderator-80, that’s really cute. And thanks for not calling me ignorant. 😀
😀
Call me ignorant, but I have no idea what that means.
Mod-80, I’m busy writing my very important comments in the CR, so the only time I get to wash my kids clothes is in the nine days.
I only wash my children’s clothing in the nine days. I don’t remember from last year what age a child can be where it is still permissable to wash their clothing, but as of yet my kids still have clean clothes, but when I’ll have to wash some clothing I’ll call my Rov if it’s permissable to wash the clothing of my oldest child.
They know a great deal about the real world, unfortunately not always enough. They know less about the world of Sheker, unfortunately sometimes too much.
That is very well said.
In fact there are those who barely know a thing about the world of Sheker and get marriage at age 16 and es felt zei gornisht, there is nothing that they are missing and there marriages are very good and stable (not that I would let my kids get married at that age).
Then you have very “worldly”, knowledgable, mature people who are missing a whole lot of knowledge of the real world and their marriages are not davka good and stable.
msseeker, that is creepy, but thanks for saying that.
There are people that are still immature at age 35, so they shouldn’t get married they mature?
msseeker, we seem to be on the same wavelength.
In today’s liberal times you get a whole musser schmuez that you have no right to judge people who sin, look down at them etc.
HELLO, that’s NOT the point.
If a tzniusdige woman talks to a non-tzniusdige woman she might not even realize what the other person is wearing. And if she does what’s the difference?
Instead of focusing on the problems and changing what needs to be changed, a lot of problems get pushed under the rug because you gotta make a hush, hush otherwise you’ll appear as if you’re JUDGING others. Give me a break.
apushatayid, says who basically answered you. While the bottom line is that we are all fellow Yidden, there are things that categorizes us as individuals or groups. Sephardish and Ahskenaz, Chassidish and Yeshivish are examples that are NOT derogatory, they just describe the mehalach of an individual or group.
Of course, within each group there are subgroups and then individual characteristics. But Chasidish, Litvish, Yekkish, Sephardi, Yemenite, these are that labels LOOSELY but not negatively describe an individual. While it is true that that not everyone is correctly termed with the right label, the labels still have a definition that cannot be applied for everyone.
A man wearing a shtreimel on Shabbos, his first language is Yiddish, attended a Chassidishe Yeshiva, oops sorry no labels, okay learnt in Belz Yeshiva as a bochur, got married after seeing his chosen kallah after two beshows, learned two years in kollel and then went out to work can we call him Yeshivish?
There’s nothing wrong in saying he’s Chassidish. Of course, Chassidish doesn’t mean that everybody who is classified as Chassidish has the exact same lifestyle as the example that I mentioned above, but a label sort of gives some sort of idea of a person.
I’m Chassidish and proudly so. I see absolutely nothing wrong with being labeled a fellow Chassidishe Yid.
I’m not sure if this is the correct place to ask this question but I’m just curious why the comment/title under my posting name was changed. If there is a problem with a post that made you decide to change it, please let me know.
Don’t worry I don’t care if people see what you write to me.
Nope, just wanted to simplify and abbreviate your description. But since you like the original, it has been restored.
After giving maasor and spending only what one really has, not borrowing from credit cards or gemachin (one is not allowed to borrow what they know they cannot repay) then if they have the money and there are not part of a community which took upon itself tekonos regarding spending, there’s no reason that they cannot spend “excessively” for a simchah.
However brocha is only in what is hidden and tznius. Excessively lavish simchos are not tznius.
And we only take with us after 120 years the schusim of our mitzvos so it’s rather foolish to spend money on chachtkes or to gefel others.
Kasha, where and when was this article printed?
Science is “relative” to each generation. Every generation disputes and challenges the knowledge of the previous generation(s). Since the sum total of scientific knowledge is probably impossible, or at least many light years ahead, then how could we state as a fact that science can contradict the Torah or the chachumim?
apushetayid, so if someone wants to know if a person is Chassidish or Yeshivish for a reason that not necassarily negative is it wrong to say “no, he’s not Yeshivish, he’s Chassidish”?
just call everyone “a fellow yid”.
There’s nothing wrong with these labels Chasidish, Yeshivish, Heimish, Litvish, Modernish, Yekkish….
There is something wrong with these lables fruitcake, tuna bagel, tinkleberry, pasta shell…
WIY, you are right. It is vital that we learn the lessons of the churban.
Btw, WIY, I think you would agree with me that we shouldn’t call OTD’s pasta shells, meaning they’re empty of substance on the inside. Why do we allow ourselves to apply lesser standards of kovod habriyos to frum people?
What about Chasidish, Yeshivish, Heimish, Litvish, Modernish, Yekkish….?
Okay, let me modify my previous comment. I hate it when labels that should be used on containers, cans, and packages is used on people.
I think there on enough real adjectives in the English language that can appropriately be used to describe people who are humans beings and not objects and should not be labeled as objects.
Perhaps we need to have a more positive attitude, a feeling that Moshiach is coming – even before Tisha Bav this year!
We need to genuinely mourn the churban to truly yearn for the geulah.
And when we truly yearn for the geulah we can be hopeful of Moshiach’s immininent arrival.
“Labels are for cans not for people”
Excellent remark. I detest this fruitcake, tuna bagel/biegal and tinkelberry stuff.
I don’t beleive that 18 year old know EXACTLY what they need and that’s why I never suggested anyone should do anything on their own . However if the parents are selfish (sorry maybe most of them are not, but a lot of parents want kovod, a knakedige shidduch or what they want in a marriage partner for THEMSELVES not what their child needs) then one should talk it over with a wise adult. The best thing is that the wise adult should be a person the parents would listen to like this is no hard feelings develope between the parents and child (provided the parents are only selfish and not meshegoyim – then nothing can help the parents feelings shouldn’t become bruised.)
Tishah B’Av is a really sad day for me, but these days I have to work on myself to shed tears when I read Megiallas Eichah or kinos because as a mother of kids b”H my mind is focused on different things, not just the churban.
I will try to be more heartbroken about the churban this year and work on myself that the knowledge that the Schinah is golus should be in my thoughts the entire day.
I think that as much as we try to remember the pain and devastation of the days that the two Bais Hamikdosh were destroyed, since it is over two thousand years since the Second Bais Hamikdosh was destroyed, the most powerful way we can envision the destruction as they say in Yiddish oif inser hoit on our own skins is to link what we are saying in Eicha and the kinos to our current world and personal situations.
Eichah yushvah badud, I sit and think about our holy Yerushalyim hair rabasi there are a lot of inhabitents in the city, but um hoysa kalmana she is still like an abandoned almanah .She is LIKE an almanah not AN almanah because her husband will return- the husband is a reference to Hashem. Even in these days with Yerushalayim being a bustling city the Shchinah has abondand us because of our sins, rabusi bgoyim serasi b’mdinos she once was big and respected between the goyim and today hoysu lumum, the world feels that they need to preside over Yerushalyim and dictate to Yerusahlyaim its policies. There are building freezes and opening of borders to dangerous terrorist because of world dictates.
The most important thing in looking for a marriage partner is that it has to suit YOU not your parents.
If your parents are normal, good people that you know have your best interets in mind then have a conversation with them and explain what your needs are (after first getting to know yourself inside out).
If your parents are unreasonable and selfish then talk to a Rosh Yeshiva or anyone you trust and work through the issue with them. The bottom line is that you need to remember that you will have to live with this person for the rest of your life and therefore your marriage partner needs to suit you, not your parents.
There’s a Young Israel shul in my area with lots a frum and young people (and they’re nice too).
I do think that every Young Israel varies in their hashkafic leanings depending on the area and the Rabbi of the shul.
That’s right. DON’T TAKE PACKAGES FROM ANYBODY to Israel.
Telling them that they should beleive in the Torah because it is the logical thing to do, and people who dont think it is logical only think so because they have already made up THEIR minds not to beleive while you yourself admit that you beleive JUST BECAUSE YOU DO is simply wrong and will come across as arrogant hypocritical and wrong to many people.
I just reread what I wrote and realized that some of it does seem hypocrytical. Sometimes I write things that when I reread it I see that I didn’t get my point across clearly.
But what I have said repeatedly is that the Torah is emes REGARDLESS whether my logical proofs make sense and REGARDLESS if others (and I meant including myself) see the Torah as emes or not.
What I meant to write and the message I meant to give is that the Torah is the absolute truth and of divine origin regardless if we find it to be so. I believe with absolute faith that the Torah is true, regardless if I would find logical proofs for that or not. And the more I search for the answers and logical proofs in the Torah for the Torahs divine origin, I find proofs that never fail to amaze me.
And since each and every Jewish soul was at har Sinai, there is an intrinsic knowledge in the soul of every Jew that the Torah is divine but for various reasons one may not be conscious of that fact. And what for others seem to be logical proofs that the Torah is not of a divine source does not make me change my mind because of the fallacy and shortsightedness of humans and what is regarded as true ideology today can become outdated tommorrow. That is regarding all human logic, but the Torah is unchanging because of it’s divinity.
If I ever posted anything that seems to contradict what I have written in this post it was a mistake.
Saying that and trying to convince people that your beleif will lead them to a happier life may be succesfull.
I never believe that I can convince people of anything if they don’t agree with what I’m saying or decide that I have a valid point. I know I cannot change people’s mind so I’m not out to do so, I simpy enjoy a good debate or reflecting about issues, and if my beliefs help anybody then I’m thankful about that.
THAT’S the problem!! It shouldn’t be obvious and “reasonably predictable that you will see something untzniusdig” when a frum woman gets out of a car.
That’s part of the problem. The other part of the problem is that a man doesn’t need to intentionaly look when a woman comes out of the car.
And why I can say that with such conviction is the more I learn, look and contemplate in the Torah, the more I see logical proofs that it is the truth
That was a mistake on my part. I believe the Torah is divine even if I would not see any logical proofs of that.
What I meant to write is that I believe that Torah is divine AND the more I learn, contemplate and analyze, the more I find logical proofs of the Torah’s divinity.
Since every Jewish soul was at Har Sinai, in each of us there is an intrinsic belief that the Torah is divine, but sometimes because of vairous reasons some of us may not be conscious of that fact.
And by the way everybody, let’s not get back into the judging part because I’m not judging OTD’s as I said earlier in the thread, I was just discussing if there is bechira in human’s, OTD’s included, choices.
aries, I actually just went over the begining of the thread to see if I’m at fault and need to apologize to you but I see that I responded to you when you posted that no one has a right to judge others (meaning I can’t judge OTD’s). Although you didn’t call me by name it was pretty obvious you were addressing me.
Anyway, regardless, let’s call it a truce.
95
aries, please, I’m not baiting anyone.
The reason I’m responding to you is because you make it seem as if I’m baiting you or discussing why I have a need to be in the right or whatever else you want to project on me.
I have no intention of analyzing your issues as well, whether you feel you must analyze me because you enjoy being in the counselor mode or whatever, so if you wouldn’t comment about me, I won’t comment about you.
Now it could very well be, and I’m not going to check if what I write is the fact, but it could very well be that I responded first to what you said with a different opinion and then it was a back and forth till here. We have different opinions and this is the place to air them out.
But I am not baiting anyone, (I have baited once one person in the Feminism thread to prove my point – but this was for an idea not a personal bait and I had no interest in personally baiting anybody to respond so that we can attack each other). I certainly have no interest in baiting you and don’t understand why it seems to you like I’m trying to do so. All I’mm doing is trying to deflect what I feel is personally insulting, such as the idea of me baiting you.
Please don’t feel that this post is a bait to get you to answer me. It is simply my attempt to say I’m not baiting you and don’t care to do that.
000646 ah gutten voch.
You didn’t come across condescending at all and that’s why I apologized for my tone. In fact, I loved our discussions about the Aztec’s and other topics.
The reason I don’t want to discuss with you what wasn’t posted is this: the Torah is emes regardless if we humans view it as such or not. It doesn’t matter. The truth is the truth. And why I can say that with such conviction is the more I learn, look and contemplate in the Torah, the more I see logical proofs that it is the truth. If the Torah would be untrue, under analysis, it would fall apart.
Now I am aware that you have what you consider valid evidence that the Torah is not from a divine source.
So why wouldn’t I want to discuss that angle?
It is very simple. Since I believe in God, in a Creator, would an atheist scientist, may he be considered a top scientist in his field, tell me, let me show you my proofs that there is no Creator. I’ll discuss with you all my “scientifical evidence” and I even created a computerized model of how the world came into being and I even have it here on a disk.
Would I even look at that? The answer is no. I’m not even interested bacause for me there is a Creator and it doesn’t matter what kind of evidence a human brain can come up with support of their theories that there is no Creator to make it seem like it’s a fact that there is no Creator. It doesn’t interest me in the least bit. Kol sheken, would such a fabrente athiest scientist argue with me and try to prove the validity of his “proofs” I’d say “You will not concince me, and I will not convince you that there is a Creator, so what’s the point in arguing about it?”
So while you are not arguing about the whether there is a Creator or not, you are trying to prove to me that the Torah is not of a divine source, which I know with complete, unshakeable faith that it is. So what’s the point of our going back and forth?
I am not interested to hear what human brains have cooked up to invalidate the fact that the Torah is not of a divine source. What seems convincing in this day and age to humans can seem totaly stupid in 100 years. Look at ancient Egypt, with their belief in gods which they worshipped and believed in. Who believes today that their beliefs were valid? In fact one wonders how normal humans ever believed in what seems to us as plain fairytales.
Throughout the centuries people always came up with meshugasin and as real as it seemed then as dumb as it seems to us that the people believed in such things.
And so even if millions of people believe in the Hindu religion, I certainly don’t think that a god can be made of gold and stone and neither do I believe in Christianity and Islam which are manmade versions of Judaism for a variety of reasons.
If you claim that Judaism doesn’t make sense either or any religion for that matter, then do you think God made us for no reason at all? Do you think this amazing gift of life is something that is stam because God wanted to have fun? If we go with that reasoning then there is no reason not to steal, murder, or do any other sin that humans innately know is wrong because there is no reason not to do that if we were created for no reason at all. Life is then a free for all. For what purpose do I need to be kind to others, for what purpose do I need to follow the law of land (I’ll hide my illegal stuff so I won’t get caught and go to jail) for what purpose do I need to do what’s right?
There has to be some reason why we were created, why we need to do right because then otherwise the Muslim terrorists are not terrorists at all, the Nazis weren’t bad people, and neither were those who took part in the Inquisition – they all just followed their accepted ideological reasoning of their times.
And therefore, looking at all reasoning of humans throughout the ages and throughout the world, with all their mushagasin, and foolish ideas and all their cruelty, I am not interested in what they have to say, I’m not interested in their reasoning regarding the Torah. And I’m also not interested in trying to change your mind just as I’m not interested in trying to change an athiests mind, because I cannot change anyone’s mind if they are not open to what I’m saying. I can sit here from today until eternity, we can go back and forth and I will not change your mind because belief that the Torah is from a divine source needs to come from YOUR HEART, not my blogs.
I do believe that in your pintele Yid you believe that the Torah is divine. But for various reasons your heart doesn’t feel it. But if you will search for the real truth you will eventually, with Hashems help, find it.
oomis, you’re right about not speaking too strongly, not because if someone is OTD or not, but simply I shouldn’t have been confontational with 000646, since he/she wasn’t being confrontational with me.
000646, please excuse my post which might have come off as if I’m in quarrel with you.
Although I stand behind what I said and feel strongly about it, I shouldn’t have said it in an abrasive manner.
WIY, if you constantly give in a non personal relationship then you are right. If you give as a freind and it’s not appreciated then you become burnt. Not because one is focused on getting the thank you’s but because people have an intrinsic need to be appreciated (no frum people are not expected to get some appreciation – the minute they turn OTD and cry that they were never appreciated then it’s a different story).
Obviously if you are not up to the task dont get involved. Nobody says you have to be involved with OTD kids if you dont have what it takes.
I was going to try to stop being so abrasive, but you make it hard for me. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF THAT I’M NOT INVOLVED NOR DO I WISH TO BE INVOLVED WITH OTD’S?
I was acting with my freind as a FREIND. And a freind expects appreciation (most do anyway). And I ended that relationship (as did my other freinds) because we were being taken adavantage of.
WIY, the reason why we are not MECHIOV to do chesed for all people we come in contact with and might need our help, is beside that we’ll never be finished, it is humanly impossible to give more than one can.
If you can give chesed, fine. If you can’t give in certain situations, the Torah does not obligate one to do so. Even with parents, if a child cannot care for them for a certain reason they need to pay for someone to take care of them, but they don’t have to do so themselves.
Now while one needs to understand that a thank you and appreciation might not come their way, but if they are constantly taken advantage of and they feel burnt by such a relationship, then they are not mechiav to be in such a relationship and not mechiav to perform chesed for such a person either.
WIY, wonderful. Let’s see how you will act when you’re taken adavantage of.
I don’t you would continue long term chesed for someone who just knows how to take and take without even a thank you or appreciation. (Obviously, I’m not talking about a sick person or invalid, I’m talking about a normal human being).
apusehtayid and aries, you people are not being honest because I say I act with respect to them but I don’t respect them and you decided that the fact that I don’t respect their actions means I don’t act with respect to them. YOU DECIDED HOW I ACT TO THEM AND WRITE THEM AS FACTS.
You see whant you want to.
In addition how many times to I have to repeat myself that people change because they want to not because I say something?
Philo, the reason there is no point discussing anything with you is because you just want to argue and answer everyone point by point because of your “need to be right”.
No one is forcing you to respond to me. There is no point in your responding to my posts that I address to you if you don’t want to, unless you have that “need to be in the right”.
aries, by the way, I thought you are not going to respond to me. Why aren’t you letting my answers slide off you, as you said you will do?
Anyway,please cut out your therapist/counselor assumptions and decide what I base my decisions on. I have only told you about one OTD person and I have not told you about the first hand knowledge that I have of a lot of OTD’s.
As far as the other posters that said that RESPECT needs to be earned, that is a goyish concept
Interesting. A Jew who has left the fold has the almost the same halachas as a goy has regarding the way we treat him regarding many issues (excluding acting with respect towards them , which I never objected to). Sinners have different halachas as well regarding dan lkaf zchus and loshen hora. Is that because we are to respect a frum Jew the same as a non-frum Jew?
According to the Torah. WE are commanded to respect ALL of Hashem’s creations therefore RESPECT is a given
Good, go ahead respect Hitler and Stalin y”s, respect Osama bin Laden, respect Madoff, respect those who abuse others, respect them in the same vein you respect all sinners and kofrim.
I constantly meet young men and young ladies who look familiar to me and I can’t place them. And then I remember that young good looking yeshiva boy, used to have really long hair and was really rough around the edges. They come over and say Mrs ” “, remember me?
If you had a hand in making them frum great, but please excuse me if I doubt your insinuations that you created many baal teshuvos as you sound to be yes, a nice caring person, but also naive and full of self importance, basing your total assumptions of how I came to my decisions on the fact that I helped a freind.