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Someone is only supposed to give tochacha if it will help. I don’t think this is the case in this case.
Again, Horses Mouth, do you have a source for that?
Horses Mouth and apy- Tznius is way more than a halachic issue. Most people know the halachos of tznius, they don’t need to be reminded of them. Cover your knees, your elbows, nothing tight… we all know that. A father telling his daughter halachos of tznius will not help in the slightest.
I’m with Queen Bee.
I think it’s not so good for a father to tell his daughter how to dress because he has no idea what tznius is. Well, ok, he may know the actual halachos, but it takes being a woman to really get it. It would be like me telling my father how to learn.
Horses Mouth, Can you show me a source for that?
I have to agree with treble clef. I don’t think it’s a fathers place to tell his daughter whats tznius. A husband maybe, but not a father. It would only make the problem worse. I know, when my father used to tell me that something was too tight/too short, it made me upset. It’s the mothers responsibility.
Sooo… I’m still lost. What language did Google translate it into?
And father?
Who was Achav’s father and father-in-law?
Meirav married Adriel
“A poor worksman blames his tools”
Ctrl Alt Del- I got your obscure reference of the day. The movie with the psycho aunts who kill old people and the 3 nephews…So +10 to me.
My favorite ice cream is Twix ice cream. My biggest weakness.
tro11- You haven’t heard of it because I made it up. Just testing…
Hey! Where did my post disappear to?
Popa, I thought of a 2 possible answers. I am completely guessing here.
*One of the babies had a bris while the other did not.
*One had a birthmark so the mother knew it was/wasn’t hers.
Sorry, I deleted it because it had outside links.
What and where is the lexicogal nerve?
Shlomo Hamelech was the smartest man that ever lived. I think we can assume that he wasn’t just taking a gamble, he knew what he was doing.
SilentOne, I’m really sorry for what you are going through and I really hope and believe that Hashem will help you. May you be zoche to many happy, depression free years. And know that you are a strong, amazing person for being able to deal with this.
I have a friend who bought one of these bracelets at a stand in the mall for 65 dollars. Supposedly, it helps people maintain their ‘inner balance’. I have never laughed so hard. It was just a thick silly band. They are a scam and it’s funny that people actually believe they work.
I don’t think people look at it as a black and white thing. You would have to be stupid to do that. But no one can pinpoint the exact cause of kids going off the derech. So there is nothing they can know that will prevent kids from going off.
“the main thing i was addressing were threads like that other OTD thread in the CR where the OP sounds like that IS the definitive reason why kids go off the derech…”
That really bothers me as well, but I’m with yitayningwut on this one.
I actually think it was 80 kohanim that Shaul killed in the city of Nov.
I look at it this way: if I wasn’t on the coffeeroom, I would probably be wasting my time with worse things. So I’m going to leave well enough alone. For now at least.
I started a thread on this a few weeks back
I ended up getting my handwriting analyzed and I was not happy with a few things I found out about myself. Or maybe I’m just in denial.
How many Kohanim did Shaul kill in Nov?
Imitation is the highest form of flattery.
When people can’t admit they were wrong.
Hi zeena. There are tens if not hundreds of seminary threads and posts in the coffee room archives. This is an exhausted topic.
Searching for the seminary threads is easy. Just go to the sticky on the top of the main page labeled “Searching…” and click on the link in the first post and have fun searching! You can get all your information from there.
We may not like the fact that wearing jeans is considered not the frummest thing to do. But that is the way it is. And everybody knows that. So when someone does choose to wear jeans, they are aware of the statement they are making. And they are choosing to give off a certain vibe. It may be irrational but it is reality.
Hey! I never get 2 teabags with my venti. I should sue.
I kept my mouth shut this whole time because I think this thread is pointless but I feel I have to say something now.
Nobody here knows anything. Everything you are saying is pure speculation based on circumstantial evidence. And even if you do have solid proof that someone is being Mechallel Shabbos, this thread will do nothing to help/stop him/her.
You don’t know the background of the poster you all think is being Mechallel Shabbos. You don’t know whether he/she is Jewish, frum, or a tinok shenishba. This thread is pointless as we don’t know all the information.
So stop playing detective and move on.
In all honesty, I think that the schools actions are justifiable, up to a certain point of course. If there is a really frum, yeshivish school and a child applies who is not so frum and yeshivish and him being in the class would probably expose these really yeshivish kids to things their parents don’t want them being exposed to, the school should accept that child? (sorry for that run-on sentence)
I think the child should try to find a school that has kids more his type.
What about the Dougies in Woodbourne? I love that place! I remember in camp, me and a bunch of friends once snuck out at midnight and got a cab to Dougies. Those were awesome times…
This whole thing is stupid. Can someone explain why someone who is not so frum* want to send their kid to a school that is more frum then them?
And if you do want to do that, stretch a little. Go out of your comfort zone and start being a better person. Why should the school lower their standards for you? You should be the one to adapt to their standards.
* I’m not talking about not frum like eating chalav stam, I’m talking about hair covering not frum.
My screenname has nothing to do with me. It was the first random thing that popped into my head when I signed up here. Don’t read too deeply into it 🙂
Hello to Goq and coffee addict and BTGuy!
What was Meseg-Ha’ama?
There is a big difference between a bribe and an incentive. An incentive is offered before the action is done while a bribe is offered after the child does something wrong.
For example, if you want to take your kid to the grocery store, if before you go yo tell your child “If you are good you will get a prize when we get home” that is an incentive. A bribe is when the child starts screaming in the store because he wants candy and you tell him that is he stops you will give him a prize.
An incentive is effective for behavior modification. A bribe only shows the child that by screaming or doing something wrong, he gets what he wants.
In the case brought up by the OP, I’d say it is a bribe because it was only offered after he refused to go to shul. Also, the skipping school part is not so good.
I’m with Goq on the Baal Habooze nomination 🙂
Hamentaschen. Why do people enjoy eating a potato (starch) which has been fried in oil (fat). Even if you forget about the health aspect, hamentaschen are still waaaaaayyy better.
None- I’m the worst person to be around on Chanuka. I yell at everyone for putting so much oil and fat and empty carbs into their body.
Then when no one was looking, I went and ate ice cream 🙂
real-brisker- it’s not easy to have to rely on someone else for a chessed. And people that do volunteer their time and services are amazing people. But chessed does have to be done with respect to make the recipient more comfortable. Haleivi is right. If you aren’t going to do it right, don’t offer. It’s just not right.
If someone were to cook dinner for a family whose mom had a baby or is sick and they put it together sloppily and didn’t put too much time into it and left out ingredients because they didn’t have time to peel a few extra cucumbers… It’s not nice. She could have gotten someone else to cook for her but you offered. So now it’s your responsibility to make sure you do the mitzvah to the fullest.
passfan- I don’t think it’s that big a deal.
And if you’re so concerned about Bitul Torah, why are you here? Get off your computer and go learn.
Seriously?? You care about the fact that they missed school?
WIY- How are we “enabling” kids to go off the derech? Because we have options available to them in the event that they do? That is not “tolerating all this garbage”- that is helping the kids who have unfortunately lost their way.
We live in a time where a lot of kids are turning away from Yiddishkeit. Not having a place for them or people they can talk to will only cause more damage.