chaimss

R.K- That actually may be easier than you think. Usually someone who, say, watches TV, is better at a different middah, say, chesed. So all you have to say is that you try hard in this area and they have other areas that they’re improving in. That way it isn’t a matter of better or worse, just different.

While I would definitely second the recommendation of Ohr Yisroel in Atlanta (definitely worth the trip in my opinion!) I would also recommend Yeshiva Sha’arei Torah in Monsey if you want to stay “local.” It’s exactly what you described- Yeshivish but not over the top, and with a very good english program. You can actually take a full year’s worth of college courses (directly from colleges, not AP’s) in 12th grade.

Long Island Power Authority…

Perhaps at one point the Fedora was specified to look respectable, but now it serves a more important purpose- to make us stand out. I am in a college in NYC and I make a point to go to class at least once with my hat (not necessarily wearing it all of class, but to have it). This immediately marks me as different, and as such I’ve never been invited to my classmates parties, etc. that they indulge in after school. It marks me as someone different, who doesn’t _mish_ with the secular world.

There’s a difference between loving Eretz Yisroel as the Holy Land and loving Israel as a nation-state. I’m not taking sides, etc. but just because you love E”Y doesn’t mean you love Israel, and vice versa.

As a guy who’s not in Shidduchim yet, this is a topic I’ve had mixed feelings about. For example, if I had hashkafa problems in the past, or if I have some “deep, dark secret,” on one hand it’s better to be honest, but on the other hand, the girl may be more accepting of it once she got to know me, versus hearing it at first when she’d say “no, no, definitely not.” The other thing I’m thinking, is omission the same as lying in this case?

When I Google myself I mostly find my amateur radio records as well as products I reviewed using my real name (a practice I’ve since terminated). B”H nothing unknown!

Yeah, I’ve always wanted to go, but my local club (to which I belong) only really did anything on Shabbos, not so much on Sunday. This year may be different I’m hoping, since we’re actually in a danger zone, and I’m really going to try to go.

Do you know any other Frum hams from your area? I have a really, really funny story, but it’s too late to post now.

Without getting involved in the discussion, I just want to explain why CY milk costs so much. Most dairy farms utilize co-ops, i.e. a bunch of small farmers milking their own cows and selling the milk to the bottling, etc. company. This is much cheaper than having it all at one farm since the overhead is much less and they don’t have to pay workers. CY milk, however, must be watched, and having a bunch of different farmers do that is ridiculous. So they have one huge farm with one mashgiach, but that requires much more land, much more workers, etc. so it costs much more overhead.

Hope this explains something.

I’m in Sh’or Yoshuv, and I also go to Queens College. They’re very open to that option, and only insist on coming for First Seder and Shiur (although I come for night Seder as well). Many people go to Touro, some go to Queens, and one person even goes to Yale(!!!)

Otherwise, Landers in Queens is great, as is Ner Yisroel in Baltimore (you get a Bachelors in Talmudic Law- a respected law undergrad degree, and if you follow through, a Masters in one of a number of things from various “real” colleges in the area for only two nights a week).

I think what’s happening is that everyone’s seen people who have gone off/met a guy/girl through a phone, and others are seeing people who have had phones and are fine.

Again, from being there and doing that, it really depends on where you’re holding. If you’re on a level where you’d never dream of contacting the other gender, having a cell phone, even with messaging, won’t change that. If you would, you’ll find a way around the controls your parents give you, no matter whether you have a phone or not. The only ones who might be influenced one way or another are those on the fence. The ones who only follow because they have to, not because they understand why they should. So give them the free reign and they’ll break the chain.

So it really all depends on the person. And the reality is, people do need cell phones these days, and if you don’t give it to them, they may just become more resentful of you.

While I welcome the move, I’m afraid it’s come too late, and is really only a political move to counter the hawkish opposition. But then again, that’s what war is defined as: An instrument of national policy through violent means.

Precisely… they can both abuse it.

I guess people like me don’t like starting the hot-button topics, but will chip in when open… *shrug* I guess I don’t like to be the start of the thing.

I was just thinking, even if they can’t actually go through each post and really comment to the guy why it was deleted, perhaps just an automated message being sent to the poster when his comment’s been deleted/edited. Because it’s quite possible that the person keeps reposting because they’re not sure whether it was deleted or just didn’t make it in.

Getting to the most recent page is nice, but if my last visit only covered the first few pages? Clicking on the link should take you to where you last looked. I know many boards have that feature. Also, a PM system (or an e-mail member button) would be nice so that there would be a private place to take things instead of everything being fought out on the boards themselves.

Well while we’re on the subject of computers:

“Keyboard not detected- press F1 to continue.” – a REAL message from Windows ME

I’d like a feature where we were e-mailed when someone replied to a topic we were subscribed too. Especially with news stories, it’s a shtickel annoying to have to keep checking back.

Shkoyach-

Shkoyach (:p) on your remark about gedarim, it’s mamash really something people don’t know enough about.

When I spoke with ( deleted by YW Moderator ) about joining the Air Force, his response was (or at least as much of it as I’m sharing), “As long as you won’t be mechallel Shabbos.” This was distinguished from working on Shabbos, which may happen, but without actual chillul. Another thing I’d like to add on, though, is the idea of “inconsistency is not hypocrisy.” Just because a guy tries not to speak with girls doesn’t mean if one holds the door open for him he shouldn’t say thank you, etc. etc.

As for speaking to people online, even when gender is implied in a user name, I think the internet’s inherent anonymity makes it ok since you really have no idea what gender they are. That and the filtering, as well as the public forum, I think makes it, though not ideal, ok.

Just btw, the “better to keep your mouth closed…then open and remove all doubt” quote is Abraham Lincoln.

“1 out of 10 people understand binary. The other one doesn’t.” – The internet

“The image of a disciplined … member who can be relied

on to do the job excludes the extreme, the unusual, and the faddish.” – (sound like a mussar shmooze? It’s actually the) Air Force officer’s textbook, level 1

(Mod, my connection went down, so I’m not sure if this was posted or not. If it was, feel free to delete this.)

While I immensely respect the posters who saw that FB was giving them problems and so deleted theirs, the reality is that for them, that was a good thing.

“My side” of the argument has been trying to say this for the past two pages, but let me try to put it into perspective.

I’m a Yeshiva Bochur who learns morning and night and goes to college in the afternoon- this was with the full support of my Rebbeim, and NOT because I’m not capable of learning all day. (I’m not saying that to brag, just to make it clear that they didn’t feel that it would be a waste of time for me.)

I have a Facebook account. I use it to connect with many of my high-school friends who are now in E”Y, and as such would almost never have a chance of contacting them, and others whose updated phone numbers I was only able to get through FB itself. Yes, friends I talk to a lot are on my friends list too, but I usually talk to them.

The reality is this: FB by itself is parve, like everything else. You (and your friends) can post pictures- whether they’re good or bad depends on the person. My parents also have accounts, and they can see everything I post since they’re also my “friends.” You can post videos- good or bad depends on the person. You can update your “status”- a one-liner about what you’re doing, i.e. “Chaimss is on his way home for Shabbos.” Again, these can be perfectly fine, or they can be filled with nivel peh- Depending on who writes it.

I only join groups I actually care about, and I never invite friends that I don’t know personally. I have already received a few invites from people- all with Jewish-sounding names, I may add- and turned them down politely, explaining that I didn’t know them. I think it’s important to note- you have to confirm your friends, simply being added isn’t enough, it’s a two-sided street.

Now, I do believe that a shidduch, Yeshiva, etc. should check someone’s FB account, and here’s why. A lot of people who seem so fine in reality are different people online. They feel that the anonymity that the internet affords (even though people still know who you are, but it is (emphasis) online, so there’s still that fact) allows them to do certain things, so they may post pictures of things, or write things they’d never do in public. Most of friends are not this way, and have perfectly Kosher, clean FB pages that wouldn’t embarrass them even if their Rebbi saw it.

Enter Applications. These are online-based programs (nothing’s installed on your computer) which allow you to do different things, from comparing bowling scores to sending “postcards” and “bumper stickers.” Here’s where things usually get problematic on a person’s profile- again, depending on who they are, there are good stickers and bad stickers, but people can sometimes send you stickers, and then you have no idea how to take them off. There is a way, but I personally just removed those applications from my profile.

Is there a waste of time factor? Of course! But no more than on YWN- I probably waste the same amount of time on both sites. Time management is something everybody has to work on (or parents have to control) but that can’t be used as a reason to say something’s bad, just because it’s possible to waste time on it. In that vein, reading a book is bad too!

Is Facebook bad? Inherently no. If someone wants it to be? Yes. So as long as you don’t do something which could be dangerous, like adding random people or applications, it could be a great tool to keep in touch with people you wouldn’t be able to otherwise.

P.S. I want to make it very clear where I stand. I can and will try to answer all genuine questions, arguments, etc. I will completely ignore any personal attacks.

This joke just came to my mind when I opened the Gemora we’re learning this zman:

A bochur gets engaged to the daughter of a simple, yet pious, man. This man wants to make sure that his daughter is getting someone learned, so he sits his son-in-law-to-be down and asks him what Gemora he’s learning. The young man replied, “Hakol Shochtin.” (Chulin 2a). The man looks up, startled. “What?” he cries, “everyone is going to be shechted? Including me?” “Don’t worry,” the chasson answered, “the Mishna continues, “Chutz m’cheirish, shoteh, v’kutun.”