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thats not one of the things i plan on doing! hopefully HaShem has the same plans!
ARE U KIDDING??!!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!
u took the words right out my mouth!
i miss alot of old members not just the doc, but ur right we need the Dr back on premises!
What exactly is this for??
What’s wrong with YWN having a FB page? i also do
Why did Bernie Madoff go to prison? To make it simple, he talked people into investing with him. Trouble was, he didn’t invest their money. As time rolled on he simply took the money from the new investors to pay off the old investors. Finally there were too many old investors and not enough money from new investors coming in to keep the payments going.
Next thing you know Madoff is one of the most hated men in America and he is off to jail.
Some of you know this. But not enough of you. Madoff did to his investors what the government has been doing to us for over 70 years with Social Security. There is no meaningful difference between the two schemes, except that one was operated by a private individual who is now in jail, and the other is operated by politicians who enjoy perks, privileges and status in spite of their actions.
Do you need a side-by-side comparison here?
BERNIE MADOFF
SOCIAL SECURITY
Takes money from investors with the promise that the money will be invested and made available to them later.
Takes money from wage earners with the promise that the money will be invested in a “Trust Fund” (Lock Box) and made available later.
Instead of investing the money Madoff spends it on nice homes in the Hamptons and yachts.
Instead of depositing money in a Trust Fund the politicians transfer it to the General Revenue Fund and use it for general spending and vote buying.
When the time comes to pay the investors back Madoff simply uses some of the new funds from newer investors to pay back the older investors.
When benefits for older investors become due the politicians pay them with money taken from younger and newer wage earners to pay the older geezers.
When Madoff’s scheme is discovered all hell breaks loose. New investors won’t give him any more cash.
When Social Security runs out of money the politicians try to force the taxpayers to send them some more; or they cancel S/S to all those who paid into it.
Bernie Madoff is in jail.
Politicians remain in Washington .. with fat medical and retirement benefits.
Cb1: do you know hillel kapnick?
the name sounds familiar, why do you ask?
Shlomo Carlebach, myself, yossi green, eli gerstner, abie rotenberg, and baruch levine.
i have very nice manners…when i’m not in NY! lol
yes i would. most of my family knows my screen-name and a few friends who are members also know so i’m not worried. and i usually think before i write so i dont have a problem. actually the only one in my fam(who reads the cr)that doesnt know my sn is my grandfather (and i don’t plan on telling him)
Just out of curiosity. Is there such a thing as Kosher phones in America yet?
yes there is
health- i had surgery done by a “top surgeon” in maimo, and guess what – he messed up!! also, as an experienced hatzala member i would NEVER bring a patient to coney. i believe it to be under the category of retzicha! however, i had surgery done as well in Long Island Jewish Hospital as well as Columbia and i had a brief stay (about a week)in Cornell, and they made me feel as comfortable as i can get!
not really…but that could be because my cousin used to be on here 24/6 (well, not literally,but almost!) and my brother and my Grandfather (who i just found out)are also on here!
i’m just curious to see if anybody thinks i have another screen name (which I don’t)
in the shul where i daven i have my own makom kavua and everybody in the shul knows it but if someone were to come and sit there i would probably move to a different seat
Jack Daniels
cb1 you a jets fan?
yes i am..and proud of it!
Who cares about these games anyway?
i do!
1) I do know a few posters here and one former poster who left about two month ago (i cant be certain but i think my brother is also a poster here)
2)as u have already probably guessed, i work as I.(musicians) and i also do H.(teacher)
agree yossi is a great guy great dancer and great with ybc!!
hope they can edit that out on video
edit what? did i miss something at the concert?
Kind of feel bad for YOssi Neuman.
may i ask why?
i would like to see myself on-stage at the hasc concert but that doesn’t look like its happening so fast but who i would really like to see is Eli Gerstner and the Yeshiva Boys Choir!!
seems like my wish came true! i didn’t sing at the concert but Ding! invited me to come on stage during the finale.
and i was very happy to see Eli Gerstner & YBC there!!
i was there, it was an absolutely amazing concert!!
i can never leave the CR for a full week!! this takes a lot of courage
cb1,a frum version of (lihavdil)American Idol exists. Avraham Fried is one of the judges.
i know. i was going to audition but i decided not to
retire from what?? the CR? never!!
just for a day?? i would want to be a moderator lol
who would i want to be for a day?? thats a very good question, let me think about that one
cb1 Where were you for the past couple of weeks?
i’ve been very busy with work but hopefully should be back soon
Member Since
April 20, 2010
i’m not here that long but i feel as if i’ve been around forever
they sang @ the concert last night it was great
When people claiming to be singers are totally off-key!!
sometimes it really hurts
A guy who has already had quite a few beers enters an already very busy bar and says to the bartender, give me a beer, give everyone in the place a beer and have one yourself.
The bartender serves everyone a beer and draws one for himself. He walks over to the benefactor, toasts him and asks for his money. The man tells him that ran out of money a long while back. The bartender physically ejects him from the bar and deposits him prone on the sidewalk.
The man picks himself up and strodes back into bar. He crawls on a stool and says to the bartender “give me a beer and give everyone here a beer, but none for you, you get too mean when you drink”.
sleep
all I could tell you is if you ever want to get anywhere near as good as Shwekey you need to take a lot of voice lessons at a top teacher and practice a lot!!!
thats what i’m doing. i’m currently going to voice lessons once a week and practicing basically 24/7 (u can ask my family) and im hoping that the lessons will eventually pay off and i’ll get my money back (voice lessons are extremely expensive) but i already got lessons when i was a kid in MBC
Cb1
On the odd chance that you are serious please become a singer. We need more talent like Shwekey
i have started singing at weddings but i’m waiting a couple years before i make an album
Become a singer! (make sure you write on the CD “cb1” that way i know it’s you) 🙂
if i would do that, then i might as well just tell everybody my name right now
(personally i don’t think i even come close to shwekey but people tell me i do)
Let’s see if anyone has a better voice than him now , DO YOU?
i dont think anybody has a better voice than shwekey but i come pretty close (or thats what people tell me)
the song ‘mizmor shir’ from the NEW YBC5!!!
ACTUAL ANNOUNCEMENTS MADE BY IN-FLIGHT ATTENDANTS….
BEFORE TAKE OFF:
“To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. Actually, it works just like every other seat belt on the planet. If you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.”
and:
“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, or someone who is acting like a small child, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two such persons, decide now which one you love more.”
SHORTLY BEFORE ARRIVAL:
“Weather at our destination is 50 degrees, with some broken clouds; but they’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your travel money, more than this airline.”
ON THE GROUND, AFTER AN EXCEEDINGLY BUMPY LANDING:
“Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash’ and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.”
ON ARRIVAL:
“We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of us here at this airline.”
A fire started on some grasslands near a farm. The county fire department was
called to put out the fire. The fire was more than the county fire department
could handle. Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer bunch be called.
Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit would be of any assistance,
the call was made.
The volunteers arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They rumbled straight
towards the fire, drove right into the middle of the flames and stopped!
The firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in
all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the
blaze into two easily-controlled parts.
Watching all this, the farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department’s
work and was so grateful that his farm had been spared, that right there on the
spot he presented the volunteers with a check for $1,000. A local news reporter
asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds.
“That ought to be obvious, ” he responded, wiping ashes off his coat. “The first thing we’re gonna do is get the brakes fixed on our fire truck!”
The phone rings at KGB headquarters.
“Hello?”
“Hello, is this KGB?”
“Yes. What do you want?”
“I’m calling to report my neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz as an enemy of the State.
He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his firewood.”
“This will be noted.”
Next day, the KGB goons come over to Rabinovitz’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no diamonds, swear at Yankel Rabinovitz and leave.
The phone rings at Rabinovitz’s house. “Hello, Yankel! Did the KGB come?”
“Yes.”
“Did they chop your firewood?”
“Yes, they did.”
“Okay, now it’s your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed.”
A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther.
He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours hadn’t gotten a single person to stop. Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn’t fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he was going too fast, to honk the horn on his bike and that he would slow down.
Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap.
The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. He then relayed, “…and you’re not going to believe this, but there’s guy on a 10 speed bike honking to pass.”
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.
The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, “Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don’t think it’s fair – there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?”
“Ever go fishing?” the policeman suddenly asked the man.
“Ummm, yeah…” the startled man replied.
The officer grinned and added, “Ever catch *all* the fish?”
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, “No.” The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through – don’t be
upset. It won’t be long now.”
Soon, they came to the candy aisle and the little girl began to shout for candy. When told she couldn’t have any, she began to cry. The mother said, “There, there, Monica, don’t cry – only two more aisles to go and then we’ll be checking out.”
When they got to the checkout stand, the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there’d be no gum purchased. The mother said serenely, “Monica, we’ll be through this check out stand in 5 minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap.”
The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. “I couldn’t help noticing how patient you were with little Monica,” he began. The mother replied, “I’m Monica – my little girl’s name is Tammy.”
This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the
neighbor’s house, hoping that they will think it died of natural causes. A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, “Did you hear that Fluffy died?” The guy stumbles around and says, “Um.. no.. um.. what happened?” The neighbor replies, “We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!”
A guy is driving down a deserted highway. He pulls up to an intersection, and rolls through the stop sign. From out of nowhere, a cop pulls him over.
COP: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
GUY: “Hey, I slowed down didn’t I???”
COP: “You must come to a full stop at the sign.”
GUY: “Stop. Slow down. What’s the difference?”
The cop pulls out his baton and starts to beat the guy with-out mercy.
COP: “Well, do you want me to STOP or SLOW DOWN?”
“North Korea Attacks South Korea…” Bad news is: World War III in the making. Good news: New Call Of Duty in the making.
TOYOTA: Too Often You Over-rate This Auto
cb1, are you a “Music Producer” or a jokster?!
why can’t i be both?
actually i come to the CR whenever i need a break and i always have a joke to share
One sunny day in Ireland, two men were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when one turns to the other and says “You see that man over there? He looks just like me! I think I’m gonna go over there and talk to him.”
So, he goes over to the man and taps him on the shoulder. “Excuse me sir,” he starts, “but I noticed you look just like me!” The second man turns around and says “Yeah, I noticed the same thing, where you from?”,
“I’m from Dublin”, second man stunned says, “Me too! What street do you live on?”, “McCarthy street”, second man replies, “Me too! What number is it?”, the first man announces, “162”, second man shocked says, “Me too! What are your parents names?”, first man replies, “Connor and Shannon”, second man awestruck says, “Mine too! This is unbelievable!”
So, they buy some more Guinness and they’re talking some more when the bartenders change shifts. The new bartender comes in and goes up to the other bartender and asks “What’s new today?” “Oh, the Murphy twins are drunk again.”
The following is from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for its volunteers who work in the Amazon Jungle. It tells what to do in case you are attacked by an anaconda. Now an anaconda is the largest snake in the world. It is a relative of the boa constrictor, it grows to thirty-five feet in length and weighs between three and four hundred pounds at the maximum. This is what the manual said:
If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The snake is faster than you are.
Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides, your legs tight against one another. Tuck your chin in.
The snake will come and begin to nudge and climb over your body. Do not panic.
The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its body. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time.
When the snake has reached your knees slowly and with as little movement as
possible, reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into the side of the snake’s mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg, then suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake’s head.
Be sure you have your knife.
Be sure your knife is sharp.