catch yourself

I have to say, I enjoyed the fact that Health started a thread called Sickness.

This doesn’t bother me, even when the tune in question is not to my taste.

What does bother me is when the singer exploits the text, and sings a song simply because one of the words sounds like his name, or similar childish reasons.

According to the Gemara, in such cases, ????? ????? ?? ??????? ???? ???”?, and this is the source of much suffering. Even ??? ???? was punished for saying ?????? ??? ?? ?????.

In my opinion, much of the “Goyish-sounding music” about which people love to complain is actually preferable to a lot of the songs these people prefer, if only because their lyrics are not inherently disrespectful of the Torah. It’s better to sing words of your own composition than to abuse the ??? ???.

Joseph:

[Please note that while the following is written about parents and children, the concept is exactly the same for Rebbeim and Talmidim]

In nearly all families, a parent can effectively teach Kibbud Av v’Eim in only three ways:

1. When teaching children to respect the other parent, as described above (One of the many challenges of a single parent home is that the most common way of teaching Kavod U’Moreh Av v’Eim is eliminated),

2. If it happens to come up in the course of a regular learning seder with the child (as an aside, I have it on good authority that Rav Pam said that most fathers should not learn with their children, and that in fact he did not learn with his own children), or

3. If possible, by modeling the appropriate behavior. I have had no greater lesson in Kibbud Av than watching my how my mother behaved towards her father for the first 20 years of my life (until he was Niftar). Obviously, this is most effective.

There may be a handful of parents whose character is so beyond reproach that even their young children will realize that when they say, “You must respect me because I’m your father,” it isn’t really about them. For most people, this is way out of reach.

Zahavasdad: Please elaborate; I don’t understand the point you are making in the context of this conversation.

Health, I’m very sorry to hear about what happened to you. I hope you have been able to put yourself back together. It is devastating that the guilty party was not dealt with properly. ?? ????? ???, Hashem will not allow the wicked to go unpunished.

The Rabbanim I know take this issue very seriously. I hope it is not a dream to expect that our community has grown over the past decade in how we deal with all forms of abuse, and that my Rabbanim are now the rule instead of the exception.

The Goq: “…stupid and harmful rules deserve to be broken”

I hope I misunderstood you. It seems like you meant to say that sometimes Halacha can be stupid and harmful.

Like Benignuman said, some people can be stupid and harmful. Some can even be devious and harmful. Halacha, however, is Eitz Chaim and Darchei Noam.

It is the unfortunate truth that our community has mishandled the issue of abuse in the past, and we need to do a better job of protecting our children. However, this fact does not give license to overcompensate by wrongfully assuming that all allegations are true.

I am unaware of any sectarian consistency on this issue.

In any case, it has already been proven that vaccines are effective. How many people (who have been vaccinated) have you met recently with Smallpox? Polio? Measles? Mumps? Rubella? Should we go on down the whole list?

The opposition to vaccines is not logical, and will not be deterred by such silly things as facts and proof.

Lightbright, you make it sound like you threw me into a pit and sold me as a slave. It wasn’t a big deal – don’t worry about it! Of course I forgive you.

Thanks, Lilmod Ulelameid, for the good words.

DaasYochid –

??? ???? ??? ??”? “????? ??? ??? ????? ???? ?? ???? ?????…??? ???? ????? ???? ?? ???? ??? ??? ??? ???? ??? ?? ???? ????? ???? ???? ??? ???? ?? ?? ????? ??????? ???? ?? ????? ??? ????? ???? ?? ???? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???? ???? ??? ??? ????? ??? ???? ??? ???’ ” ???? ?? ????? ???? ?????? ???? ?? ???? ????? ?? ??? ???? ??????? ??????. ??? ???? ???? ???, ??? ???? ????? ????? ???? ??? ????? ????? ????? ?????? ??? ??? ???? ???, ?? ??? ??? ??? ????? ??? ?????, ????? ??? ???? ????? ?????? ?? ???? ??? ????? ?? ????? ???????. ????? ??? ???? ???? ????? ???? ????, ??? ???? ??? ???? ???? ?????? ??”?

???? ???? ???? ???? ??? ??”?, ??? ???? ??? ??? ????? ????? ????? ????? ?? ??? ??? ???.

????? ????? ??? ?????? ??”?, ?? ??? ??? ??? ????? ??????? ???? ???? ??? ?? ???? ??? ??? ???? ???? ???? ?? ???? ??? ????? ??????, ??? ?????? ????? ??? ???? ??? ??? ???? ???. ??????? ???? ??? ???? ????? ??? ??? ??? ?????? ??????, ???? ???? ????? ?????? ??????, ???? ????? ??? ???? ??? ??? ??? ???? ????? ????? ?? ??? ????.

???? ?????? ??? ?? ???? ?????? ?? ?? ???? ??? ???? ?? ????? ??? ????? ????? ???? ???????, ?????? ???? ????? ??? ??? ??? ???? ???.

Just my thoughts, but the conclusion is the same: This is prohibited M’doraysa, and in fact the prior relationship exacerbates the prohibition and triggers even stricter guidelines.

I doubt that the Mitzvah of Hashavas Aveida would mandate a person to check items on the “Hefker Table” for Simanim, laudable as the practice may be.

Certainly, everybody agrees that the best case scenario is to have the item returned to its erstwhile owner.

Practically speaking, however, Shuls and the like can not afford to hold on to all of the lost and forgotten items in their premises. This is the reason for the policy of declaring the items Hefker.

These are items which have been left by the owner for a sufficient amount of time that the Poskim have determined that the owner may be assumed to have been ?????. As such, the finder is technically permitted to keep the item, even if he knows who lost it (although in most cases he should return it, as is mentioned in Shulchan Aruch). I would think that the Inyan of Lifnim M’shuras Hadin doesn’t require me to search for a Siman on something which I have not yet picked up.

BMG semi-annually holds a sale of all the Seforim which have been left in their lost and found (I don’t know if they sell everything, or only those Seforim that have been there for at least a year or some other set time). Any Sefer found to have a name may be taken for free in order to be returned to its former owner.

More accurately, a Rabbi can tell you whom not to marry (i.e., Kohen who wants to marry a divorcee).

I do not believe that Rabbi Schachter said that if a Rabbi knew the parties well, his opinion that they should marry each other would be Halachically binding.

Even Yitzchak Avinu (a Navi) couldn’t impose his wishes upon Yaakov Avinu – marrying the daughter of Lavan was a suggestion, not a command.

Likewise, choice of career can be governed by Halachic considerations. Again, this is usually in the negative (Halacha can disallow certain occupations in some circumstances). I am not aware of any circumstance where Halacha would mandate an individual assume a particular career.

Whom to vote for presumably follows the pattern.

Joseph, in full honesty, I was born long after Rav Moshe’s children were married, so I do not claim to have been there.

I was told by someone who said he was at both Rav Dovid and Rav Reuven’s weddings that the seating was mixed.

In any case, I refuse to believe that Rav Moshe would allow mixed seating if he felt it was not appropriate, regardless of who “the other side” was.

Rav Moshe’s own children had mixed seating at their weddings.

It’s great that separate seating has become the norm, but let’s not pretend (as we are sometimes wont to do) that the way we do things now is the way things have always been done.

I’m pretty sure there was no potato kugel at Shabbos Marah.

It’s hard to choose the Number One Tragedy (problem, really) facing the Frum world.

I agree that you have identified one of the biggest problems, but I think you’re just a bit off.

The problem is not that so many people live near each other. It is that so many people are so weak that they can not help but be overcome with jealousy and the like when they see their neighbors’ lifestyles.

For too long, we have been telling ourselves (in the form of speeches at dinners and conventions, in the form of books and Shabbos Derashos, and in so many other ways) that we are wonderful.

Don’t get me wrong; I do not mean to dismiss all we’ve accomplished. Of course, there are great people, and of course there are regular people who do great things.

However, generally, we have grown increasingly petty, materialistic, self-centered, and self-absorbed. As a community, we have not worked to develop proper character in each of our individual members.

The solution is not decentralization. This will only replace the current set of symptoms with another. The solution is to admit to ourselves that we need to be held to a higher standard of character, and then to embark on a campaign to develop that character.

The character traits mentioned above are expected in my Elementary School students, but should not last to adulthood. We need to grow up.

Akuperma, only on the most superficial level.

The punitive measures prescribed in the Torah, most notably capital punishment, were intended as statements of value. Their implementation was most frowned upon.

We do not seek to convert the rest of the world to Judaism; the Torah provides a path for all people to reach HKBH as they are.

The Torah teaches that the ends never justifies the means; we do not employ terrorism or any inherently reprehensible tactic to achieve even the loftiest of goals.

The clothes make the man.

Avi K,

1. Litvish/Yeshivish and Chassidish people are much more tolerant than they are given credit for. There seems to be an assumption among many MO that those to the right of them are intolerant and close-minded, which is completely untrue. Many MO people have appropriated the title of “Tolerant and Open-minded” for themselves, even as they refuse to perceive the reality of how other people act.

Davening at a certain self-described MO Shul once, I was given the honor of Pesicha on a Monday morning. The Gabbai told me, “the cord on the left opens the curtain, and the cord on the right closes it. People on the left are open-minded, and people on the right are close-minded.” I responded that this is the most close-minded thing I’ve ever heard.

I have chavrusas, friends and close relatives who are MO, and some who are RZ. We have excellent relationships. This is because we can tolerate differences. Knowing that we all have strong convictions in the ?”? ??????, we accept happily that we see things differently.

2. I never heard of the Sefer ??? ??????, let alone that it was the catalyst for the ???. I did not read the entire ???, but it seems to be devoted to exposing three individuals who were supporters of Shabbetai Zvi. The Sefer was published in ???, when the Ba’al Shem Tov was only 10 years old.

And so the Motzi Shem Ra continues. The Litvish, of which I am a proud member, understand no less than the Chassidish or the Sefardim that “one can hold down a job and still be betzelem eloki (sic).”

Those who are so close-minded that they can not tolerate different points of view, those who feel so trapped by their own shortcomings that their only response is to belittle others, fail to see that the vast majority of “the Litvish” (by which they refer really only to “the Yeshivish”) actually are quite successful in all professions and areas of business.

Try tolerance, people. It feels good.

I second that last statement!

Avi K, I feel obligated to protest your wholesale dismissal of an entire segment of K’lal Yisrael.

Fortunately for me, you made it easy – your derisive mode of expression does more to discredit your opinion than anything I could write.

I would just note that I believe your revision of history is a particularly artful piece of propaganda. As far as I know, Chassidism did not start as “a populist rebellion against the learned elites.” Can you prove this? Which “leader” and publicly desecrated Yom Kippur?

Which “leader” said horrible things about Talmidei Chachamim? (What did he say? Did he insinuate that they are narcissistic, greedy, lazy and hypocritical? Are those horrible things to say?)

My understanding is that Chassidus began with the Ba’al Shem Tov and his Talmidim, all of whom were themselves great Talmidei Chachamim, and was intended to provide an avenue for the ignorant masses to serve Hashem.

When I was selected for jury duty, my Rav [who happened also to be my employer at the time] was adamant that I should not make any attempt to get out of it.

His position is that by allowing the post to be filled by someone else, I was potentially participating in the miscarriage of justice. [This is, of course, based on the premise that I would be an attentive, logical, fair and objective juror.]

He told me rather forcefully that it was my responsibility to answer all questions honestly and accurately, and, if selected (I was), to discharge the responsibilities of juror faithfully (I did).

This was quite some years ago, but if I remember correctly, he even told me that it would be my responsibility to find a defendant guilty of a capital offense, if the law would so dictate as per the evidence presented.

For the record, my Rav is a Talmid Chacham of the first caliber, an alumnus of some of the most respected Yeshivos, who has close personal relationships with many Gedolim.

???? ??? ??????, Hashem feeds the hungry. In His kindness, He allows us to participate in feeding the hungry, through ???? ??? and similar ?????, but rest assured, He takes care of them, with or without our “help”.

As an aside, ????? ?????? may not be kept once ??? ????? ?? ????, even by the poor.

RebYidd23 = Donald Trump?!

Geordie613, with all due respect, you are mistaken.

?’ ????? ???? ???? ???? ???? ??”? ???? ?’ ????”? ????? ????? ??. There does not seem to be any debate about this.

Regardless of whether it technically qualifies as “Chessed,” you did a favor for a friend. It should be obvious that Hashem expects us to act in such a way, even if not specifically mandated to do so under the rubric of Chessed (much like inviting friends for Shabbos Seudos is not technically Hachnasas Orchim). The only caveat (in my opinion) is to make sure your friend is not taking advantage of you, which a true friend would never do.

I would venture to say that the idea that “if it isn’t technically the Mitzvah of Chessed, I’m not doing it,” is described by the Gemara as ?????? ?????? ?? ??? ????, which is given as the reason for ????? ??? ?????.

I wanted to add the following to my previous post, but I was too late:

I doubt that a Segula is effective at all when it is used as a snake oil substitute for Avodas Hashem, much like Tefila is impotent when it is not true Avoda Shebaleiv.