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I think Ubiquitin is absolutely correct here.
There is nothing wrong with asserting yourself, obviously in a proper way, and reclaiming your seat. Of course, the right thing is to try to help find available seats for guests (regardless of whether they took your seat).
In my opinion and [limited] experience, both as a regular and as a guest, this does not embarrass anybody. It is to be expected, and should not even be uncomfortable for the guest.
I do agree that at some point during Davening (in my mind, this point is Borchu), any latecomers relinquish their “rights” in this regard.
As a guest, I never assume a seat is available; I ask someone sitting nearby if the seat I want is open. Being a guest does not exempt you from common decency either. Unless you are completely new to the concept of Shul, you should realize that people have seats.
The place where I usually Daven is very popular, and it is very difficult to get a seat. If I come at a reasonable time to find that a guest has parked himself in my seat, and that I therefore don’t have one (which has happened a number of times), I don’t say anything, but I do think that the guest is wrong.
I once came early to shul, just to find that a guest (whom I knew was a family member of someone who sits near me) had “claimed” my seat with his Tallis bag!
For the record, Rav Shlomo Kluger directly applied the Halacha of Chezkas Karka to seats in Shul. He was asked regarding a Shul that had expanded its building, whether the members’ seats were to be awarded relative to the layout (next to the wall), or if they stayed in the exact location of the previous seat. He ruled that the Makom Kavua was the actual place of the seat because that was the land on which the member had a Chazaka, and not its proximity to the wall.
Inventing absurd Chumros that were not followed in previous generations by even the most scrupulous and pious Talmidei Chachamim is not the Derech HaTorah, it is a perversion of the Derech HaTorah.
בל תוסיף פן תגרע
CTLawyer-
Without entering the debate over school vouchers (one side of which you rather cogently represented above), I think there is an important point which must be made in response to your general approach here.
It sounds to me from your posts hat you have been rather successful financially, and I am very happy for you.
The fact is that there are many families where both parents are very hard working and which struggle financially. I personally am gainfully employed from about 7:40 a.m. until around 10:00 p.m., with only a couple of “breaks in the action,” during which time I play and do homework with my children. This is my schedule for most of the school year. During the summer, I have some more free time, but I do work. My wife works several hours a day during the school year, and all day during the summer.
We work no less than you do, and, I suspect, quite a bit more. We nevertheless find ourselves in a very difficult financial position because of the cost of living. This is no complaint; I am exceedingly grateful to HKBH for all that I have. It is merely a statement of fact in response to your post.
I think your rather intelligent and deliberate opinion would command more respect (at least in my own mind) if it were coupled with a bit of empathy.
Depends on how you define the problem with a “Goyish” song. If the question is simply one of content, it should be fine (like Sukkas Ganba”ch). If it’s a question of Kadusha, even Gadol Omeid Al Gabov wouldn’t help (similar to Kesivas Sefer Torah, et al).
So, probably a Machlokes between the Litvish and the Chassidim.
They got the money from taxes, which they have the right to collect. Having collected the money, they have the right to allocate it as they see fit.
Does the UK have something similar to the first amendment to the US constitution, which guarantees freedom of religion?It against the Halacha to lie or bend the truth, even without monetary gain. It is against the Halacha to accept any form of monetary benefit to which you are not entitled.
I think MBDs תמחה את זכר עמלק should do nicely.
@ Akuperma –
1. True. Most Rebbeim recognize the supreme privilege of their vocation.
2. False. It isn’t about the money, and many people prefer to be מלמד תורה than to do anything else (as you yourself pointed out). There does, however, come a time for many where they are forced to change jobs for financial reasons (living gets more expensive as time goes on and families grow and get older). This is what the OP is talking about.
3. True, in the current model. I don’t know what the solution is, but I worry about the sustainability of the system as it now stands.This has been a pet peeve of mine for years. Some of my neighbors in our “OOT” community seem to believe that certain products are better purchased from NY area stores. Friends, if you want there to be a frum clothing store, seforim store, etc., in your neighborhood, then you need to give them your business. This is the selfish reason; obviously, there are also issues of Halacha and Hashkafa, as pointed out by Joseph.
You apparently agree with the classification of the other Hashgachos I listed as Litvish. I can imagine my friends of German extraction protesting vehemently the inclusion of KAJ in said list. I acknowledge that the term Litvish is that context was a misnomer, intended to refer to Hashgachos that are “not Chassidish.”
I’m not here to debate the reputations of specific Hashgachos, a slippery slope landing in the cesspool of LH, MShR, and so on. In hindsight, it was probably wrong to name names in the first place, as Avak LH.In my last post, I mistakenly referred to the first post on this page as the OP.
I was referring to post #1289359.In all of this, I found the OP to be the most troubling post in the whole thread. The assertion that “a few cases where we’ve seen over the years” of corruption could completely discredit an entire segment of K’lal Yisrael for the issue of Kashrus is outrageous.
The premise that no similar incidents have occurred among Chassidishe Hashgachos is ignorance.
What of KAJ, Star-K, KCL, CRC, OU, Kof-K, and many more, all Litvishe Hashgachos of excellent repute?
What of the great number of local Va’adim, also Litvishe Hashgachos of top-notch quality?
You magnanimously concede that there are “some competent Litvishe Hashgachos,” but in the same breath, you dispose of them because of “a few” isolated incidents “over the years.”
For shame.
I don’t חס ושלום believe the story. Nevertheless, למיחש מיבעי, and until a responsible, credible review is published which affirms that the quality of care provided by EN is on par, I would have to rely on good old Hatzalah in case of emergency, ר”ל.
ה’ ישמרנו מכל צרה וצוקה
I obviously can’t debate a Psak that has not been explained, but I think it’s important to make this point: People often use the term “Lashon Hara” as an umbrella term which encompasses all forms of forbidden speech, such as Ona’as Devarim, Motzi Shem Ra, Rechilus, Megaleh Sod, Malbin Pnei Chaveiro, et al. If the reasoning for the Psak was a technicality limited to Lashon Hara in its narrow sense (such as Apei Tlasa), then either the Shaila was presented incorrectly, or the Posek needs to do a better job of understanding Shailos. The question was not whether the particular post was Lashon Hara per se, but whether it was permitted to post.
In any case, to the extent that I am not being allowed to know either the identity of the Posek or the reason for the Psak, there is no reason for me to consider it authoritative, especially considering that it is at odds with my own understanding of the Halachos.
A new cycle of Chofetz Chaim Yomi starts today, so maybe this time I will figure it out…
Like you said, it certainly is not for those who are not qualified in Psak Halacha to disagree with those who are. Nevertheless, there is no reason to withhold the reasoning of the Psak that was issued. I, for one, would love to gain a better education.
My wife is an excellent driver, but she does not like to drive, so she usually prefers to be a passenger.
“Neurotypicals” – Brilliant.
Rav Shamshon Refael Hirsch on המבלי אין קברים במצרים לקחתנו למות במדבר notes that already at the banks of the Yam Suf, the Jewish sense of humor, in all its sarcastic glory, was a natural outlet for psychological stress, a role it would continue to play during the millennia of Galus that would follow later.
The only caveat, as pointed out above, is to make sure that those who hear you will not misunderstand and take offense.
Look, 29, I don’t want to belabor the point, but I think you’re right that it’s important to interpret posts properly.
There is a time when schools communicate expectations for students and families associated with their system. Typically, this is during summer vacation in a student handbook or the like.
By (supposedly) mentioning the expectation about shirt colors in the context of application, the implicit message that the school communicated is that wearing the “wrong” short could jeopardize the acceptance of the student.
It seems to me that any other reading of it is a contrivance, concocted, perhaps, in the spirit of Dan Lkaf Zchus, but this was not the intent of the post in question.29, I have a lot of respect for you, based on what I’ve observed from your work in the few years that I’ve been in the CR. In this case, however, I think you are mistaken.
Of course, it is true that posts are often misunderstood, misquoted and conflated. I have even misquoted my own post in the same thread! Certainly, when this happens, it should be pointed out.
In my opinion, however, the particular post under discussion was not such a case. Its meaning and implication were unambiguous, as explained quite clearly by LU above. The distinction between, “They said that if I wear blue shirts they would not accept my daughter,” and “They strongly intimated – in the context of school application – that I should not wear blue shirts, but they stopped short of saying that they wouldn’t accept her if I do,” is specious, especially when the tone (and only possible achievement) of the post is derision of a community.
LU, thanks for standing up for what is right in all of this.
29, you’re dancing between the raindrops. The OP [in the other thread] was not written by the Rashba, and there is no reason to splice his words so carefully. The implication of his post was very clearly as LU has described. Even according to your own interpretation, it’s Avak LH at best, and most probably regular LH (or, as LU points out, Motzi Shem Ra).
As far as the question of how it is permitted to read a LH post in the first place, in my case it happens by accident. I rely on the Mods not to allow LH posts, and for the most part, they do a very good job. If I read LH in a post, I would normally protest. By the time I saw that whole thread, LU and others had done a very good job of this, and there was nothing left to say except, “Look at me! I also don’t like LH!”, so I didn’t get involved.
I don’t think it’s about who is going to snitch on whom.
The presence of someone who will not get involved in any inappropriate behavior serves as a natural restraint on those who otherwise may have done so.There is an expectation that nothing inappropriate will be allowed to occur, since the married woman in any case won’t participate.
This psychological insight provides the basis for much of הלכות יחוד.Any time there are people present for whom there is not a problem of Yichud, there is no problem for anyone else who is there. Since the brother and sister are allowed to be together, there is no problem for the second man either.
Mr. Clean is definitely a Parutz. I believe the same is true for Cap’n Crunch. I don’t know about Granny Smith, but it’s a moot point since she’s a woman.
Gefen and Manischewitz, though, should be ok (as long as they’re both present).Future POTUS, unless I misunderstood, the implication of your post is that the difficulty some schools have in meeting payroll requirements is a result of the growing number of families where the father is “in learning.” The fact is that schools have had this problem since time immemorial, and in fact the problem is getting smaller, both in terms of Rebbeim’s salary, and in terms of Rebbeim actually getting paid. I am happy to note that the (out of town) school in which I am fortunate enough to be a Rebbe has not been late with a single paycheck in at least five years (although the salary is not quite up to par with in town schools).
Gadolhadorah, Rav Moshe Feinstein was asked this exact question. His ruling was that, in fact, a Rebbe is not precluded from taking a job somewhere else. However, as long as he is not employed elsewhere, he is required to teach even when not getting paid. This is because, since it is prohibited to get paid for teaching Torah, a Rebbe’s salary is classified as “Schar Batalah,” meaning he is getting paid not to take another job. Once otherwise unoccupied, the responsibility to teach devolves naturally upon him. Therefore, a Rebbe is free to take a job elsewhere, but he is not allowed to strike.
Winnie The Poo, I assume you deliberately omitted the George Foreman from the list because he isn’t a כשר.
I think it’s important to point out that the היתר of בעלה בעיר does not apply in the case of לבו גס בה, which may well include a next door neighbor or a boarder.
New South Wales – Sydney
TLIK – Absolutely true. Depending on your relationship with your child or student (and, of course, their age), there is a limited degree of influence you can have on their choice of friends, or on just about any choice that they will make.
The objective of Chinuch is not to force specific behaviors, but to implant a value system that will continue to guide your children and students when they are adults. Forcing compliance is generally counterproductive to this goal.
It’s a sinister mind that could imagine a world without coffee.
Seems to me that you didn’t just invoke Godwin’s Law, you fulfilled it.
Al Gore has a negative carbon footprint. This is not because he doesn’t use any carbon, but because he contributes more carbon to the system than he uses.
In much the same way, I think Hitler had a net negative worth – whatever value he held for the people who cared about him was negated by, you know, the rest of the story.
I don’t think this is true for nearly anyone else – certainly not for a person who identifies as an ???? ???. [Please note I did not say ??? ???.]
In any case, even a Rasha has a role in bringing about K’vod Shamayim.
?? ??? ???? ?????? ??? ??? ???? ???
Hitler had worth in the sense that he was a tool that Hashem used for His purpose.
Last Mishna in Horayos, “???? ????? ??? ???? ???? ???? ?? ????.”
Wolf, you can’t be serious. Every person is infinitely valuable. Every choice you make has the potential to determine the fate of the entire world. Not to mention that, as LU pointed out, you are not worthless but invaluable to your wife, children and friends. To the people whom you hold most dear, your own worth can not be overstated.
Of course, there is no one person for whom it is possible to perform all 613 Mitzvos. This question is classic Shabbos Derasha fodder, and has been dealt with by countless Meforshim. Whatever the specific answer, the general idea is that it is possible to be considered as having performed all Mitzvos (and even rewarded as such), including those which can not apply to you.
In any case, you would make my point even stronger. If even the “Milayim” of K’lal Yisrael fall short of 613, there is no reason at all to infer that the pomegranate has that number of seeds.
See next post for a completely different theory about the whole pomegranate-Mitzvos connection.
By the way, Randomex: “Does anyone else remember being taught that Yosef’s dream was of bundles of wheat in a field, with all the bundles bowing to one bundle?”
This is precisely how the dream is described in the Pesukim (plus the detail that it was Yosef and his brothers who were bundling the grain). I assume I must have misunderstood you.
So it sounds like maybe not good parenting, but not in the Chinuch sense.
The Halacha is that a person (at least the adults) should wear Shabbos clothing for the reading of the Megillah.
Otherwise, what LU said.
?? ?????, it should never be used for Chinuch.
However, that’s not the point of it. Many children enjoy that sort of thing (think, “Shock-Gum”, “Shock Pen” and many other similar toys).
It’s just something fun to play with, and I’m willing to bet that it is far from accurate as a lie detector.
WTP, you’re right, I misread the OP.
I also did not know the context from other threads.
You’re right on the money.
re: Pomegranates
The actual statement of the Gemara is that “????? ??? ????? ????? ?????,” which means, “The empty ones among you (K’lal Yisrael) are full of Mitzvos like a pomegranate [is full of seeds].”
I always thought the clear implication is that a pomegranate, while full of seeds, falls short of 613.
re: Mordechai and Esther
I love The Purim (urim) Story (ory), but even they were a bit confused on this point. When Esther is about to be abducted by Sir Toe-Face, she calls to “Cousin Mordechai!” Only a few minutes later, in the song, she addresses, “Uncle Mordechai.” Later, when debating whether to go to Achashveirosh, she again sings to “Uncle of mine.”
There is no source for the idea that Mordechai was Esther’s uncle (which would actually not preclude him from being her cousin as well).
29:
“The chofetz Chaim said you cannot speak l”h about yourself” – (Moderator’s Comment in the OP of the other thread; granted I don’t know which Mod)
“Moderator :The chofetz Chaim said you cannot speak l”h about yourself
Wrong.
My 9th grade rebbi, who was born in 1934 and named after the chofetz Chaim,
said the chofetz Chaim
meant that with a touch of humour and as advice
Dare to find it anywhere in his sefer” – (It Is Time For Truth)
“I don’t know what works for you in real life, but if you have a halacha or Torah matter to teach me, I am all ears and thrilled to hear it. If you have to end it with a threat, I have to assume you haven’t read the Chofetz Chaim often enough to be relied upon.
I will look into your tale.” – (Moderator 29)
It certainly sounds to me that your point was that the established Halacha is that it is Assur to speak LH about yourself, but that you would look into IITFT’s “tale” to the contrary. All I was saying is that, in fact, it is the other way around.
If I misunderstood, thanks for clarifying.
Either way, I don’t think “Dare to find it in the Sefer” is a threat, or an offensive way of making a point. I actually think it’s pretty tame by the standard of typical Beis Medrash banter.
Moderator 29, the “tale” which needs to be “looked into” is the one about the Chofetz Chaim, and (assuming that it did in fact happen) whether it truly means that it is Assur to speak LH about yourself. As noted above in this thread, I think the story proves that it is Muttar (even if, as was mentioned in the Disagree With The CC thread, it’s not a good idea). If it were really Assur, I have a hard time believing that this, alone among all of Hilchos Lashon Hara, would have slipped the attention of the CC.
I would have posted this on that thread, but it was closed.
Question for the lawyers.
Is it in fact a violation of the law to serve alcoholic beverages to teenagers in one’s own home?
It is very possible that your original group of friends is not a bad bunch, but that they feel threatened by your new relationships. The way they are reacting is not the healthiest way of dealing with such a situation, but it is also not beyond the pale of normal behavior for High School age children (I have to assume that Shopping613 is right about the age).
I do not think you should be burning bridges just yet. Talk it over with your “old” friends. If they are unforgiving or issue an ultimatum (“it’s either us or them”), let them go. You should never allow someone else to control you that way. If they understand, and it seems that they just need to be reassured about their own standing, they are still your friends and you should not leave them.
Most importantly, I think you should discuss this with an adult who knows the people involved. Maybe a teacher or principal can be helpful in sorting out what’s really going on.
“A rachmanus” is often used to mean “a situation which evokes feelings of pity.” For example, “Beryl is such a rachmanus” would mean that something about Beryl’s personal situation induces one to feel pity towards him.
The job of the President is to distract everyone’s attention from the person who really runs the country.
President Trump does this better than any of his predecessors.
The Amida is referred to by the Mishna as ???? ???? ?????. Most definitely three separate words.
“Shemonah asar” would mean 18.
“Aseres” would be 10 connected to the next word, as in “Aseres b’nei Haman.”
“Shemonah Esrei” is 18 connected to the next word (“Berachos”), which we habitually leave out.
Huju, I’m duly impressed with your musical sophistication. I bow to your cultural superiority. Nevertheless, I must remind you again that comments which denigrate a person or group of people are strictly prohibited by the Halacha.
Mods…?
It was originally left because it seemed very non-specific.
Huju, I am not a very musical person, so I can not really comment on the technical quality of the music. I do know that it sounds like music to me, and I enjoy it much better than most classical stuff. I don’t mind if you consider me an uncultured member of the proletariat because of this.
<edited response to above edit>
As far as the lyrics, I don’t know to which singers it is that you refer, but the ones I listen to use mostly Pesukim, Ma’amarei Chazal, or Sifrei Kodesh as sources for their lyrics. Those songs which are original lyrics are also quite “Jewish”.
The music with a “Yiddishe taam” about which many peole love to reminisce was also influenced by the popular music of its day. Some of the most “hartzige” tunes actually turn out to have been composed by non-Jews.
It is not a coincidence that Sefardi music sounds so middle-eastern, and Ashkenazi music sounds so Eastern European. That today’s music sounds so American is par for the course. Don’t be such a fuddy duddy.
It is an absolute Halacha that you need to consume something hot during the daytime on Shabbos. This is a Chiyuv established by the Chachamim to counter the Tzedukim who believed that it is assur to eat hot food on Shabbos day.
Cholent is not part of our Mesorah.
It began in times of abject poverty as the cheapest way of fulfilling the Halacha of eating hot food, as well as the Halacha of eating something fleishig (throw in one bone, and everyone gets some beans, barley, and potatoes).
Currently, cholent holds cultural status as something “we do,” but that’s all it is.
Maybe it’s obvious to some that this whole thread is a joke; I certainly consider it so. However, the fact is that we should never joke about our Mesorah – it is the single most important part of Judaism.
Apparently, the hat malach has been eating too much cholent.
I have little patience for this sort of drivel.
I must assume that either the source was completely misunderstood, or it was intended as the ????? ???????? before the ?????.
How did the Malach manage his responsibilities before ??? came along?
There is no reason to canonize as ???? ????? those trappings of Jewish life which are not actually part of ???? ?????. In fact, this is a dangerous practice, which is liable to cause people to question the entirety of Judaism. [This is beside the point that such statements are often the antithesis of ?? ??? ?????? ??????? ????? ????? ?????.]
Cholent is a wonderful thing, but let’s not invest it with more importance than it actually has.