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Health – Of course, not all the evidence is in yet, and there is presumption of innocence, but based on what appears to have happened as of right now, yes, he was murdered. I’m not getting into the specific legal terminology and distinctions between “murder” and “manslaughter”, I’m just using common parlance. It may not have been premeditated, but George Floyd was murdered.
Someone in Monsey – I read Besalel’s first post in this topic several times. It seems to me to be perfectly coherent, spot-on, not radical in the least, and very much על פי תורה. It also appears to be apolitical. It actually compares rather favorably to your own posts. Can you point to the specific parts of it which you think are problematic?
In any case, even supposing that he is precisely your opposite in terms of his political philosophy, you have no right to level personal attacks. You most certainly are wrong to claim that someone being on the wrong side of an issue process they aren’t really Jewish.
Schnitzel Bigot –
I agree (as I posted earlier) with your general point about the mistreatment of blacks by law enforcement in our society. I, too, have anecdotal evidence to support it. As you say, anyone who talks to some black people will hear that this problem is so ubiquitous that it is a fact of life for them, והמפורסם אינו צריך ראייה.
Nevertheless, as I understand it, George Floyd was arrested for passing counterfeit money. This was not an unwarranted traffic stop gone awry. The police were called by the victims of the fraud, and they responded to the call. If it would have been a simple arrest, there would be no questions. I’m not blaming Floyd for what happened to him; I’m simply responding to your remarks about the facts of the case.
TLIK – The “thugs” (to quote President GHWB) who are rioting deserve to prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Overwhelming force should be used to put a stop to the riots, looting, et al.
This does not address the other egregious issue at hand, which is racism.
We can and should deal with both of these problems at the same time.
Someone in Monsey –
What could justify questioning someone’s Jewish lineage? עיין רש”י על הפסוק אכן נודע הדבר
Do you so strongly identify with your American political views that they define for you the meaning of Jewish identity? If so, you need to reexamine your life.
Wow, so if we don’t like someone’s comment, we can question their lineage?
Even the חפץ חיים only imagined people impugning others’ frumkeit. He didn’t anticipate us asserting about each other that we are literally not עמיתך.
I can’t help but recall the Gemara, כל הפוסל וכו…
Anyway, as if it were necessary, a brief perusal of some of Besalel’s past work pretty much proves he is Jewish.“Racially motiated?” Of course not! I don’t think anyone believes that the police officer thought to himself, “I’m gonna kill this <African American>!” as he put and held his knee on Floyd’s neck. Presumably, that officer had countless opportunities to kill people prior to this event.
What happened to Floyd wasn’t racially motivated. It wasn’t a lynching. But it may well have been a result of racism. We probably will never know for sure whether this specific cop has racist attitudes, and whether he treated all citizens equally under the law. This is not the point.
The point is that there is a racist attitude which permeates all interactions between police and black people. Horror stories such as Floyd are the most outrageous expressions of this attitude, but the protest is about every incident of anti-black conduct. It’s about the demeaning treatment they suffer at routine traffic stops. It’s about the presumption of fault against them at minor accidents. It’s about the way they are treated every day of their lives. Sure, it’s about the murder of George Floyd, but it’s also about the relentless abuse of huge numbers of people.
Of course, there is no justification at all for the riots, violence, looting, etc that is currently going on. These people are criminals taking advantage of an opportunity. But this should not blind us to the truth of what happened.
As Yidden, we should understand better than most people the suffering of African-Americans. After all, we’ve been there many times in our history. We should recognize that this is wrong, and we should say so. The Torah, long before the U.S. Constitution, taught us that “all men are created equal,” and enjoy rights “endowed by their Creator.” There is no place in Hashem’s creation for racism in any form.
Chaim Shulem –
1) Of course, no system is perfect. Schools and educators are constantly evolving and working to make the educational experience best suited for every student. For some students, online education is truly the answer. In fact, one of my current students was barely passing until the lockdown, and has flourished in our distance learning. However, he is an exception. For the overwhelming majority, the opposite is the case. Online learning does not present them with the same education as learning in person.
2) Without question, given significant investment and training, schools can create an online learning experience far superior to what we have scrambled together in this situation. Again, the difference between learning in person or online is qualitative, not quantitative. It is impossible to create the same relationship with Zoom that I can in person. Adult education such as your degree is irrelevant to this discussion, just as General Studies education is immaterial to Limudei Kodesh.
3) In Torah Education, we invest much time, effort, and resources to ensure not just social interaction but healthy social interaction which is guided and inspired by Torah values. I am skeptical that this can be replaced in another setting.
As a Rebbe, I can tell you that, while distance learning has been better than nothing during this crisis, it has also proven that homeschooling can not replace the school experience.
As many have noted, social interaction is a tremendous part of childhood and of education, and homeschooled children are deficient in this part of their growth. This is true even in the best circumstances, in a vibrant community and many neighbors, and with proactive parents who make it a priority to provide opportunities for social interaction for their children.
Moreover, the real key to teaching Torah is the relationship a Rebbe builds with his Talmid, and this is exponentially more difficult to achieve through distance learning, if not impossible. If the Torah education of your children is one of your top priorities, I do not think you should even consider putting them in a position where they will not be in real contact with their Rebbeim and Moros.
Charlie hall,
I’m not a physician, and I know nothing about the physicians desk reference.
I do know that when I was hospitalized with covid19, they treated me with hcq and azithromycin. This was in a very well respected hospital outside of the new York area.n0mesorah,
“Torah is studied” – for sure
“The question is how do I approach what I do not understand” – I don’t think we disagree about this, either. If I understand correctly, we both agree that Divrei Chazal should be accorded the utmost respect, and when we don’t understand something, we recognize that it is our own shortcoming, not a flaw in Divrei Chazal, whose greatness is incomprehensible to us.“We seem to agree that we accept what is uncomfortable to us” – Insofar as the fact of the discomfort is not, in and of itself, a logical reason not to accept it.
Our debate is about whether the Divrei Chazal in Midrashim (and perhaps Agadeta Gemaros) has the status of being part of the immutable Torah Shebaal Peh that Moshe Rabbeinu received at Har Sinai. According to those who hold the negative opinion, we are permitted to disbelieve these Divrei Chazal, though we do so at our own peril. (I personally think that any Ma’amar Chazal which seems incredible in the literal sense presumably was intended to teach a lesson, discernable though the lesson may be to me as yet).
Did I get that right?
As I said in my first post in this thread, I am not commenting on this particular Medrash, just on the general question of whether we are obliged to accept every Medrash as part of the Torah.
According to the opinion of the Ramban et al, one doesn’t need specific permission for each statement of the Medrash. However, I agree that it feeling uncomfortable is not a logical reason not to accept it. This is especially true if, as I understand it, this Medrash is intended to teach a lesson rather than to be taken literally.Milhouse –
Due to the constraints of time, shorthand responses point by point:1. I understand it may be surprising, even shocking. I was also startled when I first saw it. I know this is not what we learned in Yeshiva. Nevertheless, it is abundantly clear to the objective researcher that many Rishonim and Acharonim held this way. Are you labelling Rav Shamshon Rafael Hirsch an apikorus?
2. The Rambam labels both of the first two groups fools, but does not label either one of them as heretics. He does label as heretics those who deny Torah Min Hashomayim, including both Oral and Written Torah, but seems to define Oral Torah as the “explanation of the Written Torah, such as how to [perform the Mitzvos],” which is precisely the definition given by the Ramban. I do not defend heretics. I am merely presenting the view (which is widely held among the greatest authorities) that Midrash (and, according to many, Agadeta) are not part of the Torah which was given to Moshe at Har Sinai.
3. The passage in Sefer HaVikuach is quoted by some of the greatest Acharonim, including, for example, Chasam Sofer in Teshuvos, none of whom (to my knowledge) advanced your argument. It is true that, there are some recent Rabanim who take your approach and discount any points made in a Vikuach. To me, this is an outrage. Do you really mean to allege that the Ramban promulgated apikorsus in defense of our Torah?! (Quite aside from the fact that his opponent in that debate was an apostate Jew who was rather learned and would have been able to destroy that particular argument if it was not the real truth). This is very different from the Gemaros you reference, for obvious reasons.
4. It’s rather clear that the Ibn Ezra, Ramban, Radak, and many others have no problem disputing the historical facts asserted in Midrashim. If you want to say, “Well, Vashti didn’t literally have a tail, but the Gemara is teaching us a lesson in Middos,” that’s absolutely fine. It is, to paraphrase the Ramban, just like when a Darshan embellishes a story in Chumash to teach a lesson. We are free to accept it or not to, each according to his understanding. Of course, this is not to say that the lesson is not valuable; just that the Derashos of Rav Tanchuma in his day were not (according to this opinion) any more Torah Min HaShomayim than those of Rav Shalom Schwadron in his day. I am not saying it isn’t true in the sense that it is instructive, or relevant in the sense that it addresses us, just that this opinion holds that it isn’t an “inherent part of the Torah.” I am not stupid enough to pretend for a moment that I approach the greatness of intellect of Chazal. Of course, when they speak, we should listen. It is the foolishness of the Rambam’s second group to think that we are on anything approaching equal footing with Chazal. That is not the question at hand. Our discussion is about whether Midrash is part and parcel of Torah Min HaShomayim, not whether we should learn the lessons it teaches.
I notice that you did not address Rav Shmuel HaNagid or the RItva.
For the record, if I recall correctly, the Chasam Sofer accepts the Ramban implicitly, and only enters into discussion about whether the Ramban meant to include Agadeta Gemaros with Midrashim, or if he held those were part of the Oral Torah.
There are those who attempted to sweep the letter from Rav Hirsch under the rug by disputing its veracity, but they ultimately had to acknowledge that there is no question that the letter was accurate. When pressed about it, they reputedly responded, “Rav Hirsch iz nisht fuhn unzer Beis Medrash.” This to me is rather telling about their own intellectual dishonesty, but not at all about the actual discussion.
I don’t know about the anecdote of Rav Moshe davening at home, but I do know that he was asked precisely the question whether it was permissible to daven at home with better concentration. His answer, printed in Igros Moshe, was an emphatic “no”; Tefila Btzibur is not negotiable.
Well, to start, the Ramban says so explicitly in Seder HaVikuach, and so does Rav Shmuel HaNagid in Mevo HaTalmud. (It’s worth noting that, although not a Rishon, Rav Hirsch followed this view as well, as he writes in Collected Writings)
The Ibn Ezra disagrees with Midrashim countless times in his Peirush on Chumash, as does the Ramban, as well as the Radak in his Peirush on Nach.The Ritva says that the whole story of what happened during the debate about Tanur Shel Achnai didn’t really happen.
The Rambam in his commentary to Mishnayos writes that whoever thinks that everything Chazal say must be taken literally is a fool who makes the Chachamim seen like fools.
The list goes on.
I know there are those who argue, and that’s fine. Just don’t pretend this isn’t a mainstream opinion.
To be sure, many (perhaps most) Rishonim say that we are not required what is stated in the Midrash.
I am not commenting on this or any other Ma’amar Chazal in particular, just on the general question of whether we are beholden to believe everything that is written in Midrashim (or, for that matter, according to many, in Aggadeta Gemaros).unommin
Your vitriol deserves no response.
I will say only that suffering through a very difficult situation (which we all are, although it is certainly possible that you are more severely affected than most) understandably can make a person upset and even bitter. It does not excuse many of the things you have said.
I think you would benefit from some counseling. Many communities have organizations which can arrange for this, free of charge.
unommin –
The OP did not assert that the current crises happened “to teach us this lesson,” or in any way arrogate to himself (herself?) the ability to discern Hashem’s reason for it. All it said was that there is a particular lesson which we, through hard experience (which the OP specifically acknowledged and did not minimize), have learned. Your bitterness is certainly understandable, but there is no reason to lash out at commonsaychel (in my opinion). The OP did not claim that we are now “living in Gan Eden.” The point (I think) was only that a thinking person should utilize the opportunity for growth, and specified one particular facet of how this experience could engender that growth.
I have seen some posts which carry the undertone that the current crisis would not be “worth it” if its objective was the lesson in the OP of this thread (Of course, nobody wrote that in so many words, but it’s there all the same, in between the lines). This idea, to my mind, is disturbing.
Many Rabanim have expressed the opinion that the idea that we (as a society, and in the case of many, perhaps most, individuals) have become so entrenched in our materialistic lifestyles that we “cannot just behave like normal people, maintain lives of value, materialism in balance, spirituality appropriate,” represents a dereliction of our duty to live as Torah-Jews which recalls the behavior of the 80% who did not leave Mitzrayim. Suppose that this upheaval would serve to restore us to the proper relationship with Hashem and His Torah, preserving our chance at Geulah. Would it not then be worthwhile?
I absolutely agree with the main point of the OP.
But I think it’s necessary to point out that the fact that we are still alive without having done things quite the way we are accustomed to does not, by definition, mean that we “managed to live without.”
The true meaning of your post is that we should learn from current experience to recalibrate our value system.
For example, nobody who at least pretends to be an Orthodox Jew would add Tefila B’tzibur, Tefila B’veis Hakneses, Kerias HaTorah, Birkas Kohanim, or Tefilas Tal to this list. We all understand that there is a tremendous cost to the fact that we unfortunately find ourselves without these things.
I don’t know for sure, but I imagine it would depend on whether he exercised due diligence as per the guidance of medical and Halachic authorities.
Joseph +1
I don’t know if this is the primary intended message (I hope it isn’t), but it certainly is one that we should learn.
The median family income in the United States is just over $63,000 a year. Even if someone earns twice that, it is absurd to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding (including all the ancillary expenses such as clothing, travel, etc.). We should take this opportunity to change the culture for weddings and other Simchos.
My comment on the related issue of the proper place of Agadeta was also posted earlier but is now missing.
klugeryid –
Without getting involved in the personal fight, I think there is an important point to be made.
You said, “Did you read the piece I quoted from the Chafetz Chaim?
If you substitute schmoozing between mincha and Mariv for watching the Superbowl it is indistinguishable from Josefs comment.”Here is the quote from the Chofetz Chaim:
ח”ח פתיחה, עשין אות ו, בהגהה
וכל שגן לפי מה שמצוי בעוונותינו הרבים בשבת קודש אחר סעודה שלישית, שיש כמה כיתות אנשים, הלומדי תורה מסתמא משיחין בדברי אלקים חיים –ושארי אנשים” מסתמא!!” משיחין בענין הבלי העולם. ובוודאי מתגנדר על לשונם דברי לשה”ר והוללות וליצנות. אם כן מי שפורש מהבעלי תורה והוללות ומטה אזנו לחברה הרעה הזאת כדי לשמור מהם סיפוריהם ההבלים עובר על מצוות עשה זו לבד מה שכובר על לא תהיה אחרי רבים לראות… ע”שJoseph said, “People rationalize all sorts of aveiros; so expect a litany of excuses here why this aveira is okay and why this aveira (pritzus and whole list of worse things) “really” isn’t such an aveira. Or that one day a year is okay to take a break from not doing aveiros.”
There is a world of difference between the two. The Chofetz Chaim was saying לתועלת that a person must be aware of what goes on in the various groups so that he will know how important it is to steer clear of the wrong crowd.
Joseph’s comment appears to be a cynical indictment of any number of people with no apparent תועלת.
@coffee addict
“There’s a family I know that their son liked watching soccer so when I asked the father why he lets him the father replied “you got to pick your battles”The kid isn’t Frum now”
It is absolutely impossible to draw conclusions from this type of anecdotal evidence. For every such story, there is at least one where the parents did not allow the children to watch or follow sports, apparently (eventually) driving their children OTD, and another story where allowing the children to watch/follow sports apparently kept them Frum.
Here is an observation I have had about some families where the parents use the rationalization of “you got to pick your battles.” This is a pattern of behavior I (as a Rebbe) have seen for years, sometimes throughout the whole family, sometimes in reference to only some of the children.
Parents use this mantra to excuse themselves from the hard work of parenting. In each particular case, when asked, they take the high road of “picking battles”, but in reality, they just don’t want to have to discipline their children. The message these children get is that their parents don’t really stand for anything, that they have no principles other than personal convenience. If this is the case, it certainly understandable that the children may end up OTD.
@ Pro Schnapps
“Also today they are coming after out bags tomorrow chas vshalom they will come after worse things. U think it ends with this??? No. Ymach shimom.”I totally agree. It’s a very slippery slope from plastic bags to Milah, Torah, Shabbos, and Rosh Chodesh. This is clearly a Hellenistic decree designed to force us into total assimilation, and we should risk our lives to battle against it. Let’s go to war against the NYS National Guard over the Kedushas Minhag Plastic Bags!
I find it hard to believe this story.
My son in Seventh Grade in an out of town school has a good number of classmates who do not have a phone/iPod/iPad/etc.This is not a comment on you personally. I do not mean to impugn your integrity. This is merely an observation of the behavior of our political leadership and media talking heads, which is mimicked by many people.
In general there is absolute transparency when it comes to this discussion. Historically, it has always been this way. Members of the President’s party say, “As long as <my guy> is doing a good job as President, who cares about his character/morality?” At the same time, members of the opposing party decry the damage <this lowlife> is doing to the Presidency, and, by extension, to Western Democracy itself.
We need only to remember the late 1990’s to see everyone wearing their shoes on the other feet, as was in fact documented on the record during the Trump impeachment trial.
So forgive me for yawning at this as politics as usual.
“IIRC, according to some ראשונים (specifically, I think, the רמב”ם), all fruit juices are מכשיר לקבל טומאה, but only שבעת מיני משקים can themselves become טמא (although I might have this distinction exactly backwards).”
Turns out I had it backwards and inside out. Everyone agrees that only שבעת מיני משקין are מכשיר לקבל טומאה (which is a משנה מפורשת). The רמב”ם holds that they are also the only ones which can themselves become טמא, and the ראב”ד disagrees and holds that מי פירות הנסחטים הם עיקר הפרי ומקבלין טומאה (but מי פירות היוצאים מעצמן are זיעה בעלמא ואינם מקבלים טומאה).
I guess that Rav says מודה אני by heart.
A very choshuve Rav in New York told me once, before Shacharis, with his coffee in his hand, “It’s the first thing in the Siddur.”
ודפח”חRav Shlomo Zalman ZT”L leaves as צ”ע the question of why nowadays we do not say בורא פרי העץ on orange juice. I have seen some Poskim extend this question to coffee. Nevertheless, of course, the accepted פסק is to say שהכל.
IIRC, according to some ראשונים (specifically, I think, the רמב”ם), all fruit juices are מכשיר לקבל טומאה, but only שבעת מיני משקים can themselves become טמא (although I might have this distinction exactly backwards).
Without question, Reb Eliezer is right that we should have coffee in mind while saying המעביר שינה, since this is one of the ways of “removing sleep from our eyes” which הקב”ה ברוב חסדו implanted in the בריאה.@klugeryid thinks I supported the impeachment…I did not
@ jackk thinks I am a Trump supporter…I am not, and never have been
@chash understood that I meant merely to point out the true underlying reason for the impeachment, which @MDG puts so succinctly as, “hatred”.I think Senator Murkowski was correct in saying that as an institution, Congress had failed because the pure partisan nature of the Representatives and Senators on both sides precluded any possibility for a fair and honest trial.
I also think that Senator Alexander was correct in saying that, even conceding that the President did what the Democrats alleged, his conduct, though wrong, did not warrant removal from office.
I would take it the step further that the entire impeachment was unwarranted, repulsive though one may find Mr. Trump’s character to be.
I wonder if the grandfather who made the call is still in full possession of his mental faculties.
@CTL, the point that @rational was making is that this sort of (in my opinion outrageous) behavior is first presenting itself now as a result of the relatively recent success among religious Jews in general.
He was explicitly not addressing your case personally, but the more general phenomenon. Your own situation is rather irrelevant to his point, as it could not possibly explain what he says is a new custom.In @rational’s own words, “You are the first generation (statistically, not you personally) to have made it in America…”
Trump was impeached for being a sort of person absolutely abhorrent to his political enemies. He was impeached for the same reason that people said prior to his election that he was not fit for office. The list of his character flaws is too long to put in to this post, but all of them are the reason he was impeached.
Everybody knows that whatever political/legal/constitutional grounds were put forth were only the excuse for the impeachment. This is like when your child says he can’t study for tomorrow’s test because it’s already bedtime.
This is not a comment on his suitability for office, merely stating the obvious about the impeachment.
esunzaud7,
Emotionally, I want to agree with you. However, the Halacha seems not to be so clear as you say. From R’ Akiva Eiger it seems that in a case where recovery would be considered miraculous, one does not Daven for it.
I haven’t had a chance to see the חפץ השם yet, but I do plan to check it up.
I think your קושיא is really interesting. How are we to reconcile the גמרא of אפילו חרב חדה וכו with the מנשה of תפלת שוא?
In addition to the מעשה רב from Rav Shlomo Zalman ZT”L, I would like to point out that רבי עקיבא איגר in הגהותיו לשלחן ערוך או”ח סימן ר”ל says that in a case where there is no medical chance of survival, one should not Daven for it, and that it is forbidden to ask Hashem to perform a miracle (his specific case is a בן ח’ חדשים which the Gemara says can not survive and it is אסור לחלל שבת עליו. Thanks to the miracle of modern medicine, such cases routinely survive and thrive nowadays).
I’ve only had time to do precursory research as of right now, and I haven’t found any sources on this yet. A thought which occurred to me is that perhaps the מחלה of חזקיהו wasn’t [yet] at a terminal stage. The image of חרב חדה is perhaps different from illness because of the element of בחירה.
I am a great Tzaddik and Ba’al Ru’ach HaKodesh, and a Ba’al Mofeis to boot.
For a (not so) small fee, I can give you generic advice and a vague Beracha.
I have advertised on the home page of YWN in the past, but then I saw with Ru’ach HaKodesh that it was no longer necessary to market myself; those who need help will find me on their own.Seriously, for advice you are best off with your personal Rav, who knows you and your family, who is familiar with your situation, and who cares for you like for his own family. He is the only person who can bring both objectivity and concern to bear while contemplating your situation in its entirety.
If you don’t have such a relationship with a Rav, build one. It is the most important thing you can do for your family.You can donate to Kupat Ha’ir if you really think your hatzlacha / yeshua depends on getting a Beracha from the “right” person. But the truth is that your Father “wants” [כביכול] to hear your voice; ask Him for whatever you need, show Him that you are striving to become closer to him, and rely on him completely to do what is best for you.
“When saying or looking with jealousy on the good fortune of someone can awaken the accusers above (kitrug) to check his books whether he is worthy of it. As mentioned above, the red stting (sic) acknowledges his guilt, thereby quieting the kitrug, giving him foregiveness (sic) and protecting the child by showing mercy.”
Rav Dessler (and others) say the idea of Ayin Hara is a kitrug only if the person is somehow responsible for the jealousy of the other. Acting in a way which invokes jealousy in others is a failure which exposes one to prosecution.
When I gave the example (in my previous post) of “wearing a shesi v’eirev”, I didn’t realize how well it fit the conversation, because I had missed the post quoted here. The idea that a newborn child is somehow guilty and in need of forgiveness is one of the most fundamental mistakes of Christianity, and undermines the entire basis of Torah and Mitzvos, as explained at great length by Rav Hirsch in Parashas Bereishis and many other places (and, I’m sure, many other Gedolei Hadoros as well).The midwife is the logical one to tie the string, not the parent (she tied it even before he came out). Peretz clearly did not get a red string, or it wouldn’t have had any value לאמר זה יצא ראשונה. There is no reason to impose any sort of foreign idea on the string, when 1)the Pasuk clearly tells us why she tied it on, and 2)the foreign idea is against the Torah.
I can easily cook up some flimsy basis in the Torah for any practice that may somehow insert itself into our culture, including wearing a “shesi v’eirev”. This doesn’t mean any of it is true (obviously), it just shows that “boich svaros” can be very dangerous, and we can only rely on the actual Halacha and true Mesorah.If anything, the case of the midwife tying the red string on Zerach’s hand proves that there is no general custom to wear such a thing. She tied it there because there were twins and it was important to know which was born first. The younger brother obviously would not wear it, and presumably neither would the older brother, once each could be identified without external help.
In any case, as mentioned, that red string was for a simple, pragmatic purpose: to identify the firstborn. The red string worn by many people today, as rightwriter pointed out, is for a superstition. As I mentioned earlier, this is Assur.I don’t know anything about the eye and the chamsa.
As I mentioned, Rav Yaakov Hillel does in fact decry this practice. I have heard other Rabbanim do so as well.I also wonder why the Rabbanim do not take a more public stand about certain prohibited practices which have become unfortunately not uncommon. One example is that in the past ten years or so, I have seen an increasing number of otherwise frum men who shave their heads completely, or who trim their hair so short that it is under the minimum length of פאת הראש.
@rightwriter
You wrote, “I’m aware of advanced technology but i still like using a CD for driving which I can control from the car buttons easily and not have to be distracted looking at the phone to change a song.”
Sounded like you have the capability to play the music off your phone, but that you didn’t want to have to look at your phone while driving.There is no credible source for the red string in Judaism. Rav Yaakov Hillel in his Sefer Tamim Tihyeh writes as much, and that the practice is forbidden as superstition. It is unfortunate that this practice has become so common, when it is antithetical to our way of life.
Spotify and Apple Music are both 15 dollars a month, so look at it like accessing all the music for the cost of 12 albums a year (although you don’t always get access to the newest albums right away).
You can create your own playlists (Spotify also allows you to access others’ playlists that aren’t private), which you can then navigate just as easily as a CD using your car’s controls.Just for the record, the Torah actually says: איש אמו ואביו תיראו.
Now that you point it out, the change from third person to second person is striking.You said the answer yourself. Parents had genuine love for their children, so they were able to inculcate proper respect in their progeny.
Today’s parents who are so self-absorbed that they can’t even give their kids proper attention, let alone love, should not be surprised to find that their offspring don’t show them the respect the parents feel they deserve. Do today’s parents model respect in the way they act towards their children, spouses, Rebbeim/Rabbonim, and friends? Do today’s parents model respect in the way they act towards their own parents?
You complain that today’s Yeshiva Bochrim are holier-than-thou and disrespectful to their parents, whose rebukes go unheeded. Could it be that the Bochrim are acting the way they learned from their parents? How do the parents react when criticized by others? Do the parents make a point of belittling others? How, for example, do the parents speak about “today’s Rabbonim/Gedolim/Mechanchim?”
Yaakov Avinu waited forty years to rebuke his son because he was wary of the effect it would have. Moshe Rabbeinu learned from him and withheld from criticizing K’lal Yisrael for a similar length of time. How long do today’s parents wait to criticize their children for even the slightest misbehavior? How often do they criticize their children?
There is also the effect of the culture around us, which can not be discounted.
Good parenting does not happen by accident. It takes a lot of patience, time, effort, introspection, planning and deliberation.
It has been noted that the Holocaust erased an entire generation of Torah leadership, and that we are still suffering the effects of this until today. This would explain the rapid deterioration in this area, as in many others.But of course, blame the Mechanchim. It’s their fault for not teaching and emphasizing Kibud Av va’Eim enough. Well, if your children ever heard you say something like that – even once – there’s your answer. You taught them not to respect those who are supposedly deserving of respect.
The fact is that this, like so many other things, can only be taught in the home. Mechanchim do spend considerable time and effort to teach Kibbud Av va’Eim. However, Mechanchim can support the lessons learned from parental example, but they can not replace such example. They certainly can not overcome a negative example provided by parents.
@CTLAWYER
I often disagree with you, but I think here you are right on the money. A person being in a difficult financial position does not justify bad behavior. You are well within your rights to expect your own driveway to be available whenever you want without having to give prior notice.
Even if it was a driveway which you never use or intend to use, there could also be the issue of שחרוריתא דאשייתא which may remove this from מדת סדום, depending on the exact circumstances.
@mistykins
Someone I know lives very close to one of the most heavily attended Shuls in New York, and people regularly park in his driveway without permission, with the rationalization that, “I just have to run in for Mincha – it’s only fifteen minutes!” The practical result is that he doesn’t really have a driveway. It’s safe to assume (based on רוב) that most of the people parking there are struggling financially. Does this justify what has been done to my friend? To me, this sounds awfully similar to the type of theft that was popular during the דור המבול.There is a מנהג to eat fried food on חנוכה as a זכר to the נס of the פך שמן. Eating food fried in anything but oil, then would be a less than optimal way of observing this מנהג.
Those who made their Latkes with schmaltz (probably a relatively recent innovation, which has been, like so many others, artificially and incorrectly invested with the aura of “Mesora”), therefore, are the ones who are in the wrong.
The analogy to switching from Nusach Sefard to Nusach Ashkenaz, therefore, is quite appropriate, since Nusach Ashkenaz is the one with a real Mesorah, and Nusach Sefard is a relatively recent innovation that does not even pretend to be based on a Mesorah going back to אנשי כנסת הגדולה. This is why Rav Moshe Feinstein ruled that one may switch to from Nusach Sefard to Nusach Ashkenaz but not the other way.
There is also a מנהג to eat dairy foods on חנוכה as a זכר to the נס of the מלחמה (and the story of יהודית).
It is proper to combine these two מנהיגים so as to express the idea (put forth by the Maharal and many others) that the purpose of the נס פך השמן was to demonstrate the miraculous nature of the military victory.
Applesauce, on the other hand, has absolutely no basis in מנהגי חנוכה and is only being eaten for תאוה, which is part of the legacy of the Yevanim.
It is probably for this reason that Hashem ברוב חסדו וטובו made it that Latkes taste so much better with sour cream than with applesauce (and, in fact, even plain is better than with applesauce).
Leave a note explaining to him that he parked in your private property, which is both illegal and asur. Inform him that you have taken down his license plate number, and if he does it again you will have him towed at his expense.
In the meantime, if you need to park, you can block him in.
Mazel Tov!
May you be zoche to build a Bayis Ne’eman B’Yisrael!When I was in twelfth grade, I realized one day that I had been pronouncing the word שמו ( in the שיר של יום ליום רביעי) as “Shemo”, when the word is actually “Samo”.
Also it was many years before I properly understood the importance of two “subtle” points of Dikduk:
1. The difference between Sheva Na and Sheva Nach, and
2. The difference between Mil’eil and Mil’ra
each of which dramatically changes the meaning of many words.
@Joseph,
What a ridiculous thing to say. Fortunately, you are as wrong as you are inconsiderate. I have actually discussed this with leading Poskim, and their unanimous consensus has been that every good faith attempt at Tefila is a fulfillment of the Mitzvah/Chiyuv, and is accepted, regardless of mispronunciations.I’m not sure the same is true of the Tefilos of one who violates ולא תונו איש את עמיתו.
Learn to appreciate people, even if they are different from you.
Like we read in the Haftarah on the morning of Yom Kippur, if עניים מרודים תביא בית then אז תקרא וה’ יענה תשוע ויאמר הנני.
Who could be more עני מרודה than a person who eats alone on שבת?