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My favorite Yiddish malapropism concerned the gabbai in a certain shtible in Queens. He announced the rabbi’s shiur, asking people to make the effort to attend, “als di Rov alein ken nisht lernen”

Joseph: fangun mit der R. Ovadia Yosef. Oib wir kens ehr happen di gantze Sephardishe pile vert shoin in beich. Zei matzliach

Oib di oilem vil, bin ich muchan zein tzu red’n nur in der Yiddishe shprach. Ober aug mir, vos zol di sphardishe chevre ton? Lchoireh s’iz kein probleim, az di Toireh war gegeben in Yiddish und es vert meturgemt in Ivre far di sphardim. IZ kedai far yenem tzu lernen di originalishe yiddish sprach.

Since it’s way to early for Purim Torah, I must conclude that this is a serious conversation. Personally I think we should strive for the day when proplr can pro-create without need of the opposite gender.

Just-a-guy, Paul Frederick.

Harav hagaon, you’re wrong. There is nothing to decide. Physical safety trumps all. Any “gadol” who says otherwise is simply wrong. The torah says “. . .v’chai bahem. . .” to which the gemara adds “velo sheyamut bahem.”

If there were anything at all interesting going on the amud, perhaps people would talk less in schul. After all, there is only so much one can read in the presence of annoying background noise

EDITED

As I recall it, the tradition was to hire poor widows to make tachrichim, thereby giving them parnasa in their old age. They are mdae from white linen since that was once a very inexepnsive fabric, and chazal wanted to keep the cost of funerals down. It seems people once treated funerals the way we treat bar mitzvahs today, as an excuse to display wealth. In response, Chazal institution cost controls. That’s why outside of Israel, a coffin is a plain unfinished wooden affair with little if any decoration. There used to be a practice of the table at which a sage learned to make his coffin (the Chatham Sofer’s aron was made from his desk). I don’t know if that is still done anywhere, but I doubt it. I’m rather dismayed that I won’t be buried in the kittel I wore at my wedding. Having something my wife gave me nearby would let me rest more peacefully. I plan on issuing a tzavaah that either my kittel be used as part of the shrouds, or that it at least be placed on top of the tachrichin or at the very least be placed in the aron.

For a long time I concerned myself with “proving” that my derech was “THE” correct one, that G-d preferred my way of doing things over those of others. I expended great time, energy and intellectual effort in defining that derech, in distinguishing it from others. I engaged in fervid debates on the subject, driving myself and others to distraction. I also never found any spiritual succor in my smug attitude. “Being correct” turns out to be far less important than being at peace with G-d. I don’t know which camp claims more right to Torah true legitimacy. They all have their strengths and weaknesses. Anyone who thinks that the spectrum of Modern Orthodoxy has fully resolved the challenges presented by modernity and the freedoms afforded us in this day, age and place, is a fool. They never end Likewise anyone who believes that spectrum of chareidiut, even in its most extreme, isolationist and fundamentalist precincts, really adheres to the “derech Yisrael sabbah” is mistaken. Nothing, not even Halacha and orthopraxy or even hashkapha remain static over time. Problems and challenges, both intelletual and sociological abound in all camps. I’ve come to find that concentrating on proving my thesis right and all others wrong simply provides a distraction from the problems in my point of view, and prevents me from improving myself; from becoming a better Jew and person. I’m part of the Modern Orthodox world for many reasons. Mainly accident of birth, education, economics, family traditions and a fair amount of entropy. But I’m done justifying my religious choices to the world. They are between me and G-d. I’m also done judging others as their religious choices are also only between them and G-d. As to whether I’ve earned His approval, time will tell. But for now, I’m bowing out of the internicine battles of hashkafa and weltanschaung, and working on what really matters; teaching my children Torah, taking care of my family, remainging a good husband and hopefully making Him smile upon me. A gutt’n kvitel and a gutt’n Vinter to all.

Kids drinking can be nipped in the bud in two very simple ways. 1. Yeshivot should expel any boy drinking on Simchat Torah. No questions asked. 2. Pulpit rabbis should announce that they personally will call the Administration for Childrens Services, or similar agencies and file abuse/neglect reports against any parent who’s child drinks on Simchat Torah.

It’s not relevant to me as I don’t live in Brooklyn. But on the rare occasion I find myself in Flatbush on Shabbat, I don’t use the eruv since my rebbe, R. Shlomo Drillman z”l was steadfast in his opposition to it. Out of respect for him, I’d refrain from doing what I otherwise might do. But he died before the Boro Prak eruv was built, and I wouldn’t consider myself bound by his views of the Flatbush eruv when in Boro Park. After all I have no idea what he might have said about the Boro Park eruv. In Boro Park I guess I would do what my host does.

Much neater? What do you mean Joseph?

I ask around my schul to find out who paid the most for an etrog, and then go spend $5.00 more than that person paid.

There is no inyan of Zemirot on Yom Tov. I know this because there are no psalms writtn for the festivals; as opposed to Shabbat which has a specific Psalm “Mizmor shir l’yom Hashabbat.” That is the basis for zemirot on Shabbat. There is no such thing on Yom Tov. But of course one can sing if s/he wishes. But I wouldn’t call it “zmirot.”

It’s blurry only if one wears someone else’s glasses.

At the appropriate time, it should be disclosed.

On my maternal grandmother’s side, I shtam from family of R. Nosson Adler of Frankfurt, the rebbe of the Chasam Sofer. Do you all now respect me more?

There is no double standard. When a group portends to dictate religious observance via apublic protest, the conduct of the entire group MUST reflect the religious values advocated at the protest. Thus, the media focus on chareidi hooliganism at the hafganot was not merely to showcase bad behavior, but to demonstrate chareidi hypocrisy.

Darchei Noam how is the sanctity of Eretz Yisrael preserved by burning garbage dumpsters and destroying traffic lights? How is preserved by being gorem t he chilul Shabbat of the police?

Let me make sure I understand his point: because Lipschutz alleges that in the distant past, Israeli police comitted acts of brutality against chareidim, different chareidim are now justified in comitting acts of violence against different police officers. Is that his point? Moreover, how many “peaceful” protests need to be announced by the Eida that degrade into violence for them to realize that there is no such thing is a “peaceful” protest? Where is the cost benefit analysis?

Rabbosai, when my child has a temper tantrum, I put him/her in her room and let him/her have a good tantrum. The key is to isolate him/her so s/he doesn’t get any attention during the meltdown. That is the only way to put an end to it. The same should be done in Jerusalem. I think the police should cease trying to stop the rioting. Rather all efforts should be made to contain them to chareidi neighborhoods, like Meah Shearim, Geulah etc. I’d put tanks at the entrances of those neighborhoods. Anyone who wishes to enter may, but no one leaves until the tanks do. The tanks don’t leave until calm is restored. Until then, the beheimes, hooligans, hoodlums, OTD kids, fringe elements, call it what you want, can burn whatever they want and destroy anything they wish. But the neighborhood, as a whole will bear the consequences of it. The rest of Jerusalem can return to their normal lives and not be further burdened by a chareidi temper tantrum. Once the violence stops for three days, the tanks will leave, and the cleanup can begin.

Does anyone find the recent Hafganos in Yerushalayim outrages and a Chillul Hashem?

No really. Most sensible people have come to expect such antics from Chareidim. We also don’t really expect them to behave any better. A chayeh bleibt a chayeh. After all rock throwing, dumpster burning and other destructive behavior have been going on for decades. Large birth rates in those communities means more hoodlums around to do it.

Does anyone think this is totally normal – trowing rocks at the cops, damaging police cruisers, burning dumpsters, smashing traffic lights?

For Chareidim this is perfectly normal. For civilized people it is an outrage.

Does anyone think that we have lost “our way”?

I haven;t. But Chareidim are not part of my weltanschaung.

Does anyone think that the Gedolim are sending these people out to protest in this fashion? If you do, then where are the Gedolim? Why aren’t they out there tossing rocks? And if you think that they are not supportive of this type of Hafganah, then why don’t they appear in PERSON at one of these violent Hafganos and physically yell and scream at the protesters to stop it?

What Gedolim? We have no gedolim anymore. We have well learned men cowering in fear of extremists, pandering to the pressures of the right wing.

There is an interesting story in my family about this. My grandfather was a student in the the yeshiva in Dej. By all accounts, he was a star student and the Dejer Rav took special interest in him. At the rav’s urging a shidduch was made with the daughter of the Rosh Hakahal and my grandfather; a fine match for a boy from considerably more humble a home. Shidduchim however were a business, and some shadchanim were less scrupulous than others. My grandfather was approached by one such shadchan who told him that in Sibiu, Romania (A relative tank town in terms of Jewish life) there was a very wealthy frum ba’albos who was desperate to find a suitable match for his 18 year old daughter. He was so desperate he paid shachanim a fee just to produce boys for his daughter to meet. If a match were to be made, there would be an additional fee paid. This shadchan told my grandfather than he was just the type of boy this man sought for his daughter and sugested that notwithstaning my grandfather’s engagement he should go to Sibiu for a weekend and the shadchan would split that “appearance fee” with him. Desperate for money, my grandfather agreed. Well you can guess what happened; it was love at first sight. My great grandfather fell in love with the boy the moment he saw him, and so did his daughter. My grandfather was smitten as well. Upon his return to Dej, my grandfather sought to break off the engagement. My great grandftaher, ever an honorable man, sent a letter offering to recompense the first girls father for all his expenses etc. After a short din Torah, an amount of damages was set and paid. M grandfther was then told to marry the first girl and divorce her the next day so as to preserve her honor. He refused one two grounds. First he said that since he has no intention of staying married, there is no gemirat da’at in the kinyan kiddushin and any assumed marriage would have the taint of beilat znut. Secondly, he saw no point in rendering his former fiance ineligible to marry a kohen. He could not be disuaded from this and flat out refused. As a result he left Dej with a black cloud hanging over his head, movd to Sibiu, married my grandmother and they had four children, one of them my mother. As a denoument, in the 1960’s in Paris, my grandfather happened to meet up with his former chavrusa from Dej, who told him that shortly after he left Des, the Rosh Hakahal’s daughter was redt to another boy, a kohen, and they had a wonderful life together.

There is also a 600 pound gorilla in the room. How much of the rejection of certain sutdents has to do with school admissions policies, which are subject to market forces as opposed to social pressures? Are girls rejected only becuase they fail to merit a spot in school (i.e. based on academic performance, standarized test scores etc), or is it due to an unwritten but clearly and well known class system (i.e. certain schools will not accpet children of ba’alei teshuva, others won’t take children whose parents have collebe educations etc.), or even worse, parental snobbery?