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That is correct. I do live in Texas. Originally from the East Coast but no desire to ever live there again.
Also, please excuse me if my post was repeated. I did not see it appear right away, and I’ve had login issues, so I had reposted. If a moderator would like to remove the duplicate post, please do so.
First of all, may Hashem comfort you for your loss.
I was widowed a couple of years ago. But my late husband and I had both been divorced from other spouses before we got married. I am not actively looking, but if Hashem were to drop Mr. Right down from the sky for me, I’d be delighted. Here are my replies.
1. Did you get resistance or encouragement from your children? Are they married settled adults or dependent on you?
My children are all adults with their own families and not dependent on me at all. At this point in my life, I think they would encourage me.2. Did you find anyone more than 5-10 years younger than you to have little in common and conversation uncomfortable?
I don’t think I would find this to be the case. I’d be open to such a match.3. If you were still working or in business/profession would you only consider locals or those willing to move to your location?
I work part-time and for that and other reasons I would want someone local or willing to move to my OOT community.4. Would you feel comfortable moving a new spouse into your home (or moving into theirs) even with redecorating and new furnishings? Or would you expect to buy and establish a new home?
My ideal spouse would move into my home, which I own outright and have made many improvements on. I’d be open to redecorating, new furnishings, etc. But if he went 50/50 with me and I sold my home and we could buy a different home in this community, I might consider it.5. How do you regard new step family members? Can you truly blend as a senior?
I’ve had stepchildren before, and I have enough love to give not just my blood relatives but my step relatives. The way I figure, if I love my husband, I love his children too. I’d expect him to feel the same about my children.I think you’re very brave to have put up your post. Wishing you hatzlacha in your search for a new mate.
I’ve always found humor in Tehillim 115:8, mocking idols and the people who trust in them – especially the part about “Those who make them and trust in them should become like them.” (ie: the idols have mouths and can’t speak, ears and can’t hear” and so on. It’s so ironic. There’s also Yirmiyahu 2:27, also mocking idol-worshipers. “They say to wood, ‘you are my father.'” I once heard a drasha by a Rabbi who said that when someone makes an idol and says it’s his father, the idol should say to the person, “no, you made me, you’re my father!” And it says in Shulchan Aruch that it’s OK to mock idols, as Eliyahu haNavi did. Please correct me if I’m wrong with any of this.
You’re in pain and I’m sorry. Please know that Hashem has someone much better in store for you. When you meet and marry that person, do not ever look back – instead be thankful that you are with your true mate! Meantime, until you meet your bashert, take every little blessing that Hashem gives you (you can breathe, you can see, whatever it may be) and thank Hashem for that. The more you thank Him, the more He will give you. B’hatzlacha.
You are Hashem’s child, and He loves you. Wishing you well.
IYK: I just wanted to empathize with you and say that you are Hashem’s child and He loves you no matter what.
“Why Me, G-d?” by Lisa Aiken. It helped me tremendously.
To my fellow posters on this topic: This man is grieving and is humble enough to admit that. Give the man some comfort. Especially at this time of year, we need to be kind to our fellow Jews.
Of course he will be happier when he remarries. But to get married on the rebound while he is still grieving is NOT a good idea!
Dear YaakovDovid, I hope that you will find your true Bashert at the right time for both you and her. But do take some time to grieve first. Gemar Chasima Tova.