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Hi Derech HaMelech:
RIGHT ON!! Great post! White shirts may not be the easiest to keep clean, but they have that “elevation” ingredient the other colors dont have. Black also has a special ingredient. Gray and Silver, too. Add blue to that, as well. On second thought, maroon is cool, too. But for shirts bringing out the best in a mentsch; it is white, hands down.
Hi Mussarman613.
Wait a second! I made a statement in the affirmative which is positioned as a “given”.
If you want to counter/object to that, I would appreciate knowing the basis/support for your disagreement. In this way, I can engage in dialogue with you rather than restat
There are so many good ones mentioned here, but foodies, “Backspace” has that edgy quality, too.
Orchestrate when to take action and when to go with the flow, and you will be in control.
Hi longakerel.
Welcome to the club of recipients of vitriol. Just ignore comments of the like and pray the offenders work on their middos.
Everyone, at one time or another, has been, or is, a health care consumer, so your views are very important.
Additonally, if “traditional” medicine were the end all, there would not be people seeking other modes of health care, all of which can work, and some of which work better than traditional medicine.
A peronal story: I was once working out and made a movement where I could not move my neck to the left. I went to the Emergency Room and the doc gave me vicodins and something else for muscle relaxer. He said if it it not better in a few weeks, come back and he will Xray..etc.
I walked out with my head to the left and a prescription. lol. Seriously. I thought, “This is not going to do.” I tried for the first time, a chiropractor.
When I asked the emergency room doctor about a chiropractor, he literally snickered and did not answer.
Long story short (although its too late for that), the chiro ran some electric stuff on my neck and gently manipulated it back into position. I-walked-out-with-full-movement AND my stuffy nose was unclogged. Yep! He said proper alignment helps with allergies in many cases in that everything flows properly. Baruch Hashem!!
Also, as you know, for sleeping problems, it is better to go with natural products than ‘scripts. For MANY things, natural is a better response than medical/prescription.
On a final note: People with medical concerns are the best, unbiased judges of what works.
Hi Boro Park Girl.
I know what you mean.
At the same time you are watching them some of them are funny.
My thought is that while slapstick is funny, when that “funny” ingredient passes into real “slapstick” physicality, where a person is truly falling or banging into something, it is sort of not right to watch and be entertained.
That is just my opinion. Its a gray line because sometimes the people in those clips are laughing too when they get up.
Here is a true story about something I did:
I went bowling once and purposely went past the line where you should have already rolled the ball, and went onto the lane. Well, I have never experienced anything so slippery in my life. My legs flew up and I was parallel to the floor and then came down sliding, still, to the side of the lane. Basically, I was a gutter ball.
I laughed and tried to play it off at the same time I was embarrassed and holding my elbow. I walked back to sit down to a sea of people, even several lanes down, laughing and asking if I was ok.
Why was that universally funny to people who did not know each other?
Maybe it has to do with the Freudian idea of Thanatos, and that once a person is ok, it is funny. Of course, if someone, chas veshalom was perceived to be really hurt, people would not laugh, I would hope.
Any delay in reporting any chas veshalom suspected molestation is an injustice to the victim, so you may as well have your finger on that trigger, too. Go to your Rabbi or go to the cops. But do something for the sake of the person, no different than chas veshalom someone caught in a burning building.
Hi longarekal.
Your passionate view is well-made and understood, making a good deal of sense.
On the other hand, anything that encourages people to sit down and even look at words of Torah, as well as bringing people to take on Daf Yomi, who might otherwise procrastinate their learning, has merits.
The depth of one’s understanding would be the responsibility of each person.
It would be difficult to measure just what is and is not gleaned by learning Daf Yomi. Certainly, a lot of ground is covered.
What is better? Learning a few things deeply, or learning many things, and covering more ground with a moderate understanding of those things?
Like most things, there is no cut and dry answer.
Health gave a fair, conservative assessment of the comparison.
In addition, to a good degree, the camp of traditional medicine is responsible for the bashing of chiropractic and acupuncture modes of health care.
To be fair, traditional medicine also has been the recipient of bashing; for good and ill.
All schools of thought in health care have their good and bad statistics, supporters and opponents; along with public relations and quality of care issues.
If someone is seeking an alternative from traditional medicine, they should do some research and select a practitioner licensed in that field.
Good health care begins with a healthy diet, exercise, and rest. Sometimes, going back to basics helps the body take care of many issues.
Nincompute,
The World Monitor,
or
Drag and Drop In
Thank you PBA! It is greatly appreciated.
Also, postal, while statistics represent what is going on to a degree, they say, “The road is not the map”. Don’t be discouraged because of the statistics. Individuals with all kinds of individual issues are finding someone every day.
Hatzlacha!
Hi PBA.
Should people like me just google “frum or orthodox dating sites”?
Are there some which are known to be particularly good?
lol @ ilovetheholyland.
Again, Hatzlacha!
: )
lol @ dash…
Some of the Kashi cereals actually have double digit grams of protein in addition to the whole-grain carbs. So, technically, they are not leaving you lacking in nutrition for dinner or any other meal.
LOL @ Shticky Guy!!
Awesome!!
A big cause of this single sock crisis, and the break up of pairs of socks, are those hand puppet missionaries.
Hi far east.
Great question!!
In my opinion, most people have a big emotional investment in the views they express, and when someone differs with them, it is human nature that they take it personal, and that upset takes over the points being exchanged and discussed.
When you add to the formula a medium where the contact is not face to face, the harshness can flow more freely.
It is a challenge, and it takes effort to not take an emotional turn when people disagree. People slip and say things and take on a tone that is no longer about the exchange of ideas.
Personally, I dont look to disagree just to disagree, but when I find someone who disagrees with me, for example, I very much enjoy the challenge of learning their view and responding with more clarity in trying to be true to my view.
Again, it takes effort to not go the emotional nasty route based on someone holding a different view. Some people try and mature in their ability to argue a point, others dont try and they get frustrated. I think all of us have been on both sides of that fence.
It is never good to hold in a sneeze. Let them go if that is what they are itching to do. In fact, it is truly dangerous and responsible for belly buttons popping out, and often the person then goes flying and zig zagging around the room like a filled balloon that slips out of your hands before you can knot it.
If you have to sneeze; sneeze.
Hi ilovetheholyland.
Oh, he has to be mature too? : / lol
Well, the “person” I had in mind is nearly twice your age.
That would be on the far side of MUCH older.
Again, you sound fantastic and I wish you tremendous hatzlacha!!!
Hi gabi,
$1500? Is that the best you can do? I already had an offer for $2500 to meet at Bankers Trust, and that was at 1:00 am.
Just in case, maybe we should synchronize our watches.
Hi postal.
I hear what you are saying, and it makes sense.
I wonder why this site does not have a shidduch section, or something.
Being a single man, and I am sure there are others on this site who may be able to relate, I would consider meeting someone for marriage, yet I read posts from ladies here saying they are having a hard time.
So, here I am, and people like me, reading about someone having a hard time. And there is the other person, with the hard time, on the other side of the computer, and there is no bridge in between.
The irony of technology.
Anyway, hatzlacha to everyone in any situation or condition. We all deserve to find our other half and must believe they are, in fact, out there somewhere.
How would the hiccup know someone was talking about you? I dont think this is true.
Would you be willing to date someone considerably older than you, although not too considerably? On second thought, “he” would be considerably older than you.
Hi hershi.
For starters, developing into a patient person will take patience. I hate how that happens.
Nonetheless, if you are patient, you will become patient.
Hatzlacha!
Hi cshapiro.
I guess the first two things would be to see it as either, a. let it be the worst problem to deal with, or b. it’s a kappara to “try” to let it be for the sake of your husband.
I know it’s not easy to shrug off things like this, and your instincts are probably right, and your husband said he does not mind doing more helping out than he is getting in return, so, the only thing I can say is that they probably dont spend that much “actual” time in your life, so when you cringe at the “assumption” you have to deal with them a long time, then dont think that. (I know that is not easy either.)
I think I once read in a book, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, by Dale Carnegie Hall or Deli, I forget which, but he had something in there like imagine what is giving you upsetting thoughts going inside an elevator. Then picture the elevator doors closing and the object of your thoughts are no longer seen. Practice that over and over to mitigate the emotional connection to the object…something like that.
Hatzlacha!!
I agree with Sam2.
Who says learning Torah has to stop for a female once they are out of school?
If someone has the desire to learn, and it works out in the family structure, then we are all benefitting and should appreciate their time learning.
Hi PBA.
An argument has to be about the same issue, and not another, new one. (an opinion on crowdsourcing versus marriage).
Sure you can try to find the truth and revise your view. That is admirable.
If you want to clarify, here is a reminder of the conversation:
1. I commented on the “system” in looking to become married, resulting in putting up resumes on facebook and dating over 200 girls in five years.
2. You replied to the effect that is not ‘marriage’ suppose to a public communal event?
While I am weak on yeshiva hock, what shychis does marriage being public have to do with criticizing the ‘means’ someone is employing to allegedly become married?
To me, that is not switching horses in midstream. That is just falling off the horse and landing in the water.
Anyway..hatzlacha to this guy. I hope the system works for him and he finds his beshert and does not need this “system”, and that in the meantime, he is not hurting people along the way.
Hi PBA.
Please dont switch horses in mid stream and compare apples to oranges.
You were not talking about marriage.
You were talking about a guy who posts resumes of girls on his facebook and has gone out with over 200 girls in the past five years.
That, to me, is not only trashy, but heartbreaking. He has a lot of mechila to ask for.
“Seeking” ones beshert this way is just wrong. He seems to be too attached to his revolving door system and missing the point.
Hi MorahRach.
I am not overly a Rush fan. But sometimes, once in a blue moon, he says something in a normal way which makes sense. Otherwise, he is bending the logic and emotionalizing and sensationalizing things.
His point, while jagged and terse, had a point.
The way this lady was on the air talking so openly, publicly, and casually about something very private, was offensive to the delicate sensitivity required of such a topic about the very private life of two people.
In fact, while I am not comfortable with the words Rush chose, in effect, she did prostitute her decency and sensitivity for the National Organization of Women and whatever group prompted her to be the poster child for the “subject” she was addressing.
To speak to bluntly about such a private topic, well, she had it coming to her.
And if it were a guy talking with such bluntness about the same thing, I would say he was a bum, in the very least.
Hi more.
Where did you go?
Interesting!
Hi PBA.
Are you serious? That sounds idiotic. Just the “public-ness” of it makes it seem trashy. Unless I am missing something..
Hi yoya,
I am guessing take them out and make the bracha. But you can ask around. Perhaps it is no big deal because it may not be considered a foreign object in the mouth, of something like that, similar to a false tooth or something.
Hi hershi.
On second thought, some road rage is justified and I wish they would manufacture a water balloon launcher or something that we can have automatically hurled from our car to the offending vehicle.
My three big pet peeves from bad drivers (and I just have to get this off my chest), are as follows:
1. People who are turning off a main road with traffic behind them, and they are going super slow, like the kind of crawl you make when you have run out of gas.
2. People on two or more land highways who are driving just fine until you have to get into their then to get to your exit. All of a sudden they have to speed up because “no one gets in front of them” lol
3. Selfish drivers, who if chas veshalom, cars have to move to the side of the road and stop to let emergency vehicles pass by, exploit that and try to cut ahead of as many cars as possible once traffic resumes.
A donut or water balloon launcher would be nice to have during those moments.
Hi No One Mourns The Wicked.
I guess you can continue what you are doing; embracing your freedom with sensitivity.
Perhaps you and your mom can view this as growing pains which may, in time, help mitigate the emotional aspect of these changes.
You have to grow socially, but while you are growing “into” your life, which I know you know includes your mom, your mom sees you as growing “away” from her life.
And to a degree, that is true, and necessary, although you both must remain a very important part of each others’ lives, even if time together on the clock together is not what it used to be, for now.
In a few years, when you are settled in, Iy”H, you won’t be out and about as much, and you both can spend more time together.
Hatzlacha to you and your mom!
Hi Goq.
Thank you. And a great Shabbos to you and everyone else!
: D
Hi Flatbush Dude.
I hope the people who say they pray more are not saying it is a positive. Because if people knew what they were praying for, the positive thought should be they should not pray at all.
Hi ZK.
Well, even if there is no time for this, there usually would be time for that.
Hi Esther.
Two cringe inducers that come to mind now would be cholent with puddles of oil in it, and UFC fighting.
Hi The little I know.
What you say is very reasonable.
Not only are those items a “rule of thumb”, they were carefully created to do a broad sweep to persuade people to investigate their programs, which are funded and employ people as long as they have a certain volume of activity.
What struck me as funny was reading how broad the questions are, and then someone saying if they answer “yes” to even one of those questions, they are “HIGHLY” likely to have a problem. lol
Those questions are one level away from the kind of questions that would go, “If you pass by a liquor store each day to work, there is a great chance you may develop a problem”. Or, If you drink an alcoholic beverage and you dont really like the taste, you may have a problem.
And then to say you are “HIGHLY” likely? Well, that is just institutionalized pseudo-think.
Hi Health.
I dont think you are sorry to burst any bubble. That is what you do for a living. Sorry, you need a bigger pin.
And I know enough not to get caught into those black holes you call “discussions”. So information about me is not going to be cast at you to use in your usual struggle for affirmations, at the expense of someone else.
Still, why you find yourself to be such a staunch defender of the NYC Dept of “Health”, is obvious. How did you get your own department anyway?
; )
By the way, Health. I was reacting to the NYC D of H’s guidelines for what they consider may constitute a drinking problem. Other than your opinion that a “yes” means a “highly” likely problem, of which I disagree, I was not intending to say you were ridiculous. That was regarding the D of H’s stance. I apologize if you took it that way, whether you want to take a tough approach to me or not.
lol @ The Chassidishe Gateskeeper.
After reading that, remind me not to deny you of your rights; or your lefts for that matter.
Hi hershi.
Road rage is a tough one to get a handle on since there are so many bad drivers out there who do not do what we would like them to do. lol.
Equally, it is a great opportunity for a kiddish Hashem.
I heard a great shiur explaining some of the following:
1. If someone does not move fast enough when the light turns green, you dont have to lean hard on the horn; you are better than that.
2. If someone looks lost like they dont know the roads well or cant find the road they are looking for, dont crowd them or make them feel rushed; you are better than that.
3. If someone is going too slow for you and you want them to get the idea to move over and you run up on their bumper, keep a safe distance; you are better than that.
etc..etc…
It is not easy to avoid road rage, but a great opportunity to work on middos. Truly a challenging and great opportunity.
Remember: Anger and danger are just one letter different, so drive safely and calmly.
Hatzlacha to all of us who drive!
Chiropractors can do great things.
I guess the approximate 87 dollar, or so, charge is not a copay, but a payment for those who are not using insurance?
How about, “HEYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!”
And carefully saunter over knocking over as few people as possible.
: D
Hi Health.
That is ridiculous.
For starters, I have met people who go to Al-Anon and are so paranoid that even if they use shampoo with alcohol in it, they are concerned; and they are not even the alcoholic.
One “yes” could be a problem?
From a sociological perspective, while the source, “The NYC Department of Health” sounds all impressive, the bozos up in that office should find questions more valid and reliable in determining an alcohol problem, rather than those ambiguous questions leading people to seek help/information to keep certain monies and jobs going for that department.
If someone answers “Yes” to those highly subjective, generalized questions, it is “HIGHLY” likely they have a problem?
lol With those kinds of questions, I guess someone makes a commission on inquiries.
Hi Sam2.
Yes. I do.
How can we not defend our religion and community as a whole just because an individual or individuals fall short of what we expect from them, or even do horrendous things or display horrendous attitudes?
Also, it happened again this week. I have had a cold and been going out in jeans, military coat (I was not in the military though) because it is warm, sneakers, and a baseball hat.
People acted like I was not there or part of the oilam.
When I dress in white shirt and black pants, people are always introducing themselves asking for all kinds of information from me and then inviting me over for a meal.
That never happens when I am seen dressed otherwise.
lol..ok, enough of that topic.
Hi Sam2.
Very good point. I am sure the people mean well in their efforts to extend their concerns to the rest of the community, but somewhere, sometimes a line has to be drawn.
Very astute!
Hi Same2.
I think coreythecup was specifically asking why we dont openly thank them for the hurt they may have inflicted.
You are saying there is a mishnah that says you have to openly express that thanks?
Hi coreytothecup.
You bring up a great point. And I think many people do see bad things as being for the ultimate good and/or a kappara, but they dont express hakaros hatov.
Maybe that is something we should start doing, unless it makes us come across in an undignified way, or like a masochist, like in the example you gave of someone getting hit responding to their assailant with, “Thank you, I really appreciate that.” Or, “Can you hit me again, just for good measure?”
While what you say is totally true, how would it come out in the wash if people really acted on it?
“Thank you for robbing my belongings.”
“Thank you for terminating my employment.”
“Thank you for ripping me off on this repair bill.”
Again, while everything is certainly for the ultimate good, openly showing appreciation on every level can make us look strange.
I am sure other posters will have interesting perspectives to share.
Hi ilovetheholyland.
Try a different shadchen and/or act upon coreytothecup’s suggestion.
What you are going through is unacceptable, although in the long run (which I hope becomes a short run), I am sure it will make sense.
You sound patient, sensible, and awesome!!
Hatzlacha!!
At this point, I am guessing a Romney/Santorum ticket would be a dream ticket to oppose O’Bummer. I actually have grown to like Santorum. Romney, to me, seems ditzy. I dont get his popularity.
While I liked Trump in this pack, obviously, he is out now.
My own, personal dream ticket wont happen. Rudy won’t run. : (