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Maybe we should look for new OR exciting. This new AND exciting is not panning out so far.
Hi blabla.
I guess marriage can’t be as bad as you think. Many people are doing it several times.
Hi soliek.
Nice paragraph breaks. On THIS posting of yours. lol
Regarding annoying things about posts in general. Remember, people are not turning in
their doctoral thesis papers here.
While many proofread and rewrite before posting, many posts are the reaction to a reading and
posting. Typos and the way someone slaps their keyboard, especially when they are posting
something with emotion or a strong opinion, will lead to less than “perfect papers”. But it’s all
good.
Actually, in general, I dont like when people take cheap shots at the content of someone’s point by pointing out their typos or poor sentence structure or even using caps. Really! If someone uses caps to make a point, is it REALLY yelling?? THEN COVER YOUR EARS OR LOWER THE VOLUME ON YOUR SOUND CONTROL. lol
Lakewood is the place to live.
Yavoni yogurt? Now? lol
Hi sem20.
I have to digest the latkes before even thinking about this. lol
Hi Health.
The media condemns all Jews like no other group.
Whether they are bearded and work in kashrus or clean shaven and from Wall Street.
But in this case, with spitting on this girl……it’s not a media circus. It is news that we need to
take mussar from, big time!
Is graphology even remotely related to phrenology?
Jothar, you may be interested to know that a book I once thumbed through, many years ago, which was based on Kabbalah, had a chapter on how certain forehead shapes reveal certain personality traits.
The book was in a Jewish bookstore. Have you heard of such a concept from a Jewish perspective?
Hi soliek.
I think the bans are good and need to be done to preserve the level of that community.
On the tail end of Chanukah, it has to reiterated that one of the messages of Chanukah is true. Being influenced by the mindset of “Yavonim” who create these books and movies, etc., influence us in a negative way.
Being a bt guy, I have to tell you that indulging in such things like movies or books by certain non-Jewish authors/poets, does set me back from the mindset I am trying to build in my efforts to come closer to Hashem.
Now, if someone is caught violating a ban, how should they be dealt with? That is another problem.
lol @musser zoger… nice! (truly laughed out loud)
Hi always runs with scissors fast.
I am right here! lol
You are very astute and very correct.
I have never realized it before but you immediately touched upon some things which are very evident.
I dont know why these things happen, but perhaps their politeness to us is short fused and expires after a few minutes, and it is like they are programmed for that. lol
In fact, their avoidance of a rapport with us once it gets into the “why” phase is clearly seen, and even dangerous in certain circles like the local traffic courts. In fact, it does not work at all with law enforcement and some of the finest people in the community have been abused by officers merely seeking a humble explanation or wanting to share more information.
I have witnessed things in traffic court (a friend of mine had to go) and on the streets where very decent frum yidden just want an explanation or a chance to make a contribution to the conversation and explain what invariably turns out to be a very intelligent and meaningful point. And they are met with hostility and even threats to cease making their point. And this is done by our own municipal public servants.
I have found that the non-Jewish world, except for a few types like radicals/rebels or lawyers, for some reason, do not go to the “why” of something.
As a people, sometimes we are too smart for our own good within the golus we live in.
Always, I have even found that people with our experiences sometimes inadvertently threaten our own people who cannot accept that we have a certain worldly awareness and insights they dont have. I want to be clear that this does not mean one is better. Each of our lives are different, the same, and preciously valuable. The non-Jewish world has it’s own “thing” too, and my experience in that world is an important part to the hashkofa of what I am doing in coming closer to Hashem now.
Still, we should never dummy down. We cant! lol
Keep on “whying”.
Also, few people realize that it is very amazing what you are doing. To come close to Hashem with more things to do then we can realize, not because you are told to do so, or your whole family (family of origin) is doing it or preparing and helping to make it easy, or, in fact, may be discouraging you from doing it and not interested in sharing the Jewish things that make you happy, is a very special experience that few know or are able to share with others. You and your family are truly blessed, and that blesses the rest of us! Thank you. : )
Hey Jothar.
I guess the moral of this particular story is give up the internet. Using it wisely, is still using it; addicted or not.
But the point is well made. I saw an interesting billboard sign near Philadelphia. It had to the left someone holding a smart phone with a picture of a small, green frog. On the right of the billboard was a child’s actual hand holding a real, small, green frog.
The message was that life is worth living in reality and not virtually. Kids these days are all into gadgets. Guitar hero is not really learning the guitar. Madden Football is not really learning to play the sport and staying fit, really catching a winning pass or dodging a tackler, making a tackle or tagging smomeone out, or experiencing the excitement of playing with friends and winning or trying to win…etc.
You have to ask him what he meant? Maybe he misspoke. The implication is he wants someone more boyish. Oy!
Sure, if they are friendly, although it may be a bit surprising, be friendly back. Arent we suppose to look for that opportunity?
Frankly, let our black brothers and sisters be influenced by us and develop a sense of national pride. All the best to them!
Hi blabla.
I dont think they turn into a pumpkin. lol
Ignorance must be bliss, but leads to being transparent.
For those who have an ear for music or are musicians, Phish happens to be very talented. Of course, no one can touch their mentors, the Grateful Dead, all maestros in their own right.
The fact that people come out with their stereotypical insults, based on zero experience, only shows that when you point a finger at someone, there are four more pointing back at you.
Gimme a break! lol
Hi Mikehall12382.
Great, but unfortunate topic!
This is a horrendous thing and I think indicative of the abuse that goes on behind the scenes.
These things are coming out in the news, which is embarrassing and condemning.
I have to mention that I have noticed, among all the wonderful things about our people, that there are those who are very civil and mentchadik in a “patting themselves on the back” public way, yet they are capable of being totally opposite, should they see fit. It’s superificial.
This story exemplifies what I am talking about to a much larger degree.
People need to behave! To misbehave to someone because you find a fault in them is off target.
Hi chinesefood.
To me, it makes more of a difference how other people respond to me. There are times I am off from work and wear jeans and a shirt and sneakers and baseball hat.
When I go into the same establishments dressed down, I may as well not be there. In fact, this past Chanukah, I dressed down and even got dirty looks in the bakery, which made me want to post this to you. Going to eat, mothers pull their kids back and keep an eye on me. Others cut in front, and it really is an entirely different experience depending on how I dress in a frum community.
When I wear my white shirt and black pants, I am called Rabbi by all and everything is good. People even want to know my name, where I live, who I know, my SS number, and everything about me.
So, while it may affect on me only a little by feeling like it’s a chilled out day, the bigger effect is how other people respond to me depending on how I dress. Which to me, is totally ridiculous.
You can’t let someone go off the derech and you cant pin them down, either. The best way not to let them go is to let them know the truth. What they are chasing after is false and they will realize that; some sooner, some later. People should not lose their patience with someone like this. Keep an eye out on them the keep giving them the truth. Believe they will realize the falsehood of what they are doing, but supports and the truth have to be nearby and done in a sensitive manner.
It’s a terrible thing to do this to this girl.
Unfortunately, there are idiots in all groups, including ours.
Equally unfortunately, is the media writes this up as the entire Jewish people are doing this or alluding to the fact the instead of this being done by idiots, it is being done “in Judaism”.
They should be warned and acted upon if they continue the battery upon this child.
Hi Bar Shattya.
Ruling out someone who smokes is the perfect right of the person deciding who to date. Why is it shallow for someone to not want to date a smoker? Smoker/nonsmoker happens to be a big deal to people in dating, the workplace, public events, malls,…etc.
I believe the point was if someone smokes, is that something the other person should be made aware of.
There are perfectly fine people who smoke. But this is not a matter of the guy likes to wear blue ties as opposed to white and black ties.
Who would not want to know if the person they are considering for marriage is a smoker or not? Some won’t rule them out. Some will, and that is their right.
Off the record, smoking is not such a benign thing for a lot of reasons, and will be a very noticeable and intrusive component of sharing their lives together.
The fact that smoking (not the person, necessarily) is very repulsive, annoying, uncomfortable, unclean, and dangerous to nonsmokers and smokers, is not something that can be swept under the carpet during dating. Let the other person know and they can take it from there.
It is not a matter of judging. Smoking is a tangible annoyance to many people and for that reason has been outlawed in public places. So what is so difficult to imagine someone does not want that in their living room for the rest of their lives? Or around their children?
Frankly, smoking is such a known sakana now, you have to somewhat ignorant in thinking on your own to take up smoking. It is deadly, chas v’shalom, in over 70 known ways, and now they are finding it is radioactive from the radon where the plants are grown.
I dont want to hear the ‘relaxing’ argument either, as only those who think smoking is ok would accept such a lame justification. There are smokers who know it is bad and want to quit if they could. Those who see good things in smoking are off the hook, period.
Hi Aries.
What are you saying?
That is not “the” point. That is “a” point.
First they had to be offered the assignment by someone from the chesed agency.
And, again, assignments should be properly matched with the volunteer.
I know the thread is long now, but I originally stated I am in agreement with the idea of doing
chesed with mentchlichkeit and suggested such volunteers for organizations should go through a training period so they do the mitzva properly.
I was trying to back up real-brisker in a way that was a compromise on how to view the situation.
In any regard, someone picking someone up from the hospital should be matched properly to be mature enough to know they should be considerate beyond the usual consideration when with other people who are not your close friends/buddies.
To save micro-analyzing to find something to say, basically people will either think there was or was not a problem with how this chesed was carried out.
You can always fall back on the standard, “The customer is always right.”
When doing a chesed, I would hope none of us would do a shabby job because we dont see as an act someone is paying for. Both require being done in a mentschadik way.
Hi yentish.
Equally strange is how these ladies are the Hensels. I suppose their respective husbands are the Gretels.
Hi Jothar.
The Hensels bring a whole new dimension to legal issues.
Since each head can control one or both arms, only a lie detector test can determine who should get a ticket. And what is to stop the sister from placing blame on the other?
Also, since there are two heads, can one be a designated driver?
Hi apushatayid.
Thank you for those three words.
I dont understand why you had to beat around the bush and not just come out with them. lol
Now I have to bring my computer to the mikva.
Hi Jothar.
I concur with you that the story about a two-headed baby is not a humor thread.
Having said that, you stated that in the case of Abigail and Brittany, each head had her own drivers license.
In the case of a moving violation, how would an officer determine who gets the ticket?
Hi real-brisker.
I got your back on this one.
I will say that you are totally correct. Those doing the chesed did as they should. No problem. They were just mismatched for the particular assignment they were given.
Is that good? : )
Hi writersoul.
That totally makes sense.
I was concerned, since I am around many many non-Jews who are very thoughtful in wishing me a Happy Chanuka, and are always very pleasant, if there were some parameters that I needed to learn in returning a good wish for their holiday.
I found it hilarious that one student in your AP Euro class wanted to use the name Yoshke. lol Good for them! It reminds me of writing reports on Greece and Rome and using a lower case “g” to write about their gods. I wonder if using a capital in that context would be avoda zora for us?
Hi PBA.
You said: “I’ll add some more to the question. Hashem also threatens us with eternal damnation. So maybe you should threaten to burn your kids fingers if he doesn’t go to shul?”
Are you serious about bringing that statement to the discussion table? That is even outside the scope of an overgeneralization and exaggeration.
Hashem DOES have the idea of the threat of eternal damnation on the table, and you buy into that, I am sure. Can I assume you also agree with chas v’shalom burning a kids fingers if he doesnt go to shul? Of course not.
Where were you going with that?? lol
The fact is, reward/incentives are built into the fabric of the human condition.
Whether it is a child who earns prizes or whatever for going to shul, or an adult to davens with more kavana with the hope their prayers will be better answered, or avoids eating bread on Pesach out of fear of the consequences, or someone raising their level of observance and finding it difficult at first, but sticking with it until it becomes natural to where they would never want to give it up, because they want, in part, the inherent benefits in Olam Hazeh, and Olam Habah, incentive/reward works, and is a good thing to shape behavior.
I applaud the parent for doing what they are doing, and thank them, too, as we all benefit from them taking a hands on approach to getting their child to do the right thing.
Happy Birthday cinderella!!
Thank you for the bracha, and the same to you with all the best life has to offer!!
Have a great birthday!!
: D
Hi Davidz.
Check it out with a prominent rabbi.
I would strongly hope you would be permitted.
Smoking is a serious health hazard for all those around a smoker.
In any case, she should know. If she is ok with it, then fine. Secondly, if he plans on hiding it, then he is starting off with the shoe on the wrong hand, and that is not fair to her.
He may end up quitting smoking, too. Who knows?
In any case, the smoking issue out in the open is the right thing for all reasons. I cannot think of a good reason to keep this secretive. It is an important variable in the dating world. But, again, run it by your rabbi.
Hi PBA.
I dont want to use the word bribe, since it has a negative connotation.
I prefer to use the words reward and incentive.
Dont you think that each year that we, IyH, try to grow it yiddishkeit, that it may include changing our ways and in all cases it is not because we like those changes?
But since we impose upon ourselves the idea of heavenly reward, we stick with it, and, eventually, learn to not only like it, but love it.
Based on this, I think what is going on with the child is a good precedent for what the child should do for himself (in terms of the rewards and consequences) as he grows older and better in Torah and mitzvos.
Dare I say Hashem employs a similar school of thought to get us to do the right thing?
Hi Jothar.
Great link. I really enjoyed looking through it.
“It was probably the mechalel shabbos troll thread. :-)”
lol Jothar!
lol Jothar!
lol 2 cents. It gets the job done all the same.
Hi Zeeskite.
Excellent question about bribe versus reward. I will take a stab at this and say that a bribe is an incentive to get someone to do something wrong, whereas a reward is an incentive to do something which is right.
Hi mytake (as in your viewpoint, or a type of mushroom?) lol
I hope you are feeling much better now and continue to have a refuah shelayma.
Your post would be valuable feedback to the organization.
I think you should let them know. It should not be a matter of any warm body who volunteers automatically has the job.
The volunteers should be screened and receive some sort of orientation, or even a completion of a few hours of a class with certificate only for the fact of impressing upon the volunteers they are not doing a quick, bing, bang, boom thing.
It is very important the volunteers have the right approach while doing this mitzva.
Again, feel better!
Mazel Tov Goq!
Also, a belated Mazel Tov to Jothar!
: )
Brilliant, Flatbush Dude!
Something like that has to come out of Brooklyn! lol
Hi HaKatan.
That makes sense.
Hi cb1.
I know Michoel (I dont know his real Hebrew name) by his stage name, which ends in Savage. I am not sure I would address him as Mike Weiner had I met him at a delicatessen or a book signing. Although I am a fairly avid listener, I dont know the story on the name change.
Hi writersoul.
I apologize if i did not state my reason clearly, but I dont want to the greeting to be thought of halachically as an affirmation of what they are doing or believing. This was brought about when I was told by someone who was learning Avoda Zora, that if you pass a church and even want to just compliment the artwork of the building or windows, we are not permitted to do so.
Hi old man.
I am uncomfortable with it. And, equally, I would be uncomfortable with wishing someone a happy Ramadan, but I have no plans to move to Israel because of this greeting issue. lol. By the way, are you a Neil Young fan?
I have no reason not to believe you. : )
I guess you also are going for longest thread ever. lol
Hi AinOhdMilvado.
You are correct and what you posted needed to be said and change tone of the thread.
Hi Health.
Listen, I think it is more important we get along and are amicable, at least.
It does not matter to the world that we have different opinions, but if it leads to negative, that affects the world, and us as individuals.
I understand you are in the health field and I respect your knowledge and what you do. I am not in the field, and as a health care consumer, I guess it is natural we have differing outlooks on the same industry. And as you know, people can find supports for practically any point of view in the world.
Peace.
Hi Health.
Just because we have different opinions does not mean you have a right to be rude and insulting. Try to be objective, if you can.
I will respond now but will try to avoid discussing things with you in the future as it is hard to keep our discussion going in a straight line.
I said: Doctors lack chochma (wisdom). You insinuated I think they were all stupid. I dont even have to respond to that one.
I said: Economics and profit is the big variable behind prescription drugs. You said, “So what?” Actually, you undermined and augmented your own argument.
I implied doctors are in cahoots and not acting solely on their own, based on their own assessments. You also said, “So they know it – so what?” The implication here is they are going along with trends (prescribing trends), to which you agreed. Again, you are not holding to your own original argument.
I suggested in a land where tobacco companies can sell poison, the pharm companies have free reign, and make tons of money. You said I was lying, but also that we are not communist Russia and we have free enterprise.
Regarding the ADD/ADHD classification being given out like tissues to someone who has a cold, you asked me to prove it. This issue is so prevalent, you can find other sources to prove it as there is too much to type on the subject. But you cannot attribute this concern to me only. You must be aware of the issue.
You also affirmed my point about hospitals basing how long someone stays on economics (and this often conflicts with what is medically sound), and said, “That’s because hospitals are a business.” Well, a doctors practice is not a business? Unless they are Albert Schweitzer or someone…Its a business….insurance…mercedes….second home…golf club dues….shoes with tassles…the whole nine yards. Doctors want to earn a good living and have a right to do so. Pharmaceutical companies and salespeople do not have that same right if it means putting chemicals in bodies without the utmost in care and discretion.
Basically, they can get rich putting the country on one pill or another. Do you really think the ethics are there to hold back? On a world-wide level? lol
All in all, you claim that prescription drugs are issued solely on medical decisions and there is no issue of over prescription of drugs in America for economic and financial reasons, AT THE SAME TIME you just supported the exact argument/reasons of those who claim there is a problem.
I apologize if my points were upsetting to you on a personal basis, but you agreed with them in your last post. Hopefully, whether people agree or not, they learn something from rigorous disagreement, which does not get personal.
Mazel Tov and Hatzlacha!
My only reaction is the idea that each child should be raised according to their way, etc., and parents have the ultimate role in deciding what is fit. This is working to condition the child in a positive way.
Tangible rewards are a valid step in modifying behavior.
In the adult work, say, in sales, etc., people motivated to earn higher commissions can do so in and up and up way, and in that case, they are never weaned off of that system, as eventually, I am guessing, the point system will not always be employed for this boy.
Cartman.
Hi TurtleBurglar.
I am not sure if those quotes are “pure” genius, or even genius at all, but regarding luck, the quote, “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity” is a good line.
I always liked the quote, “If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are upside down.”
And the fact that it is nonsense, and it works so beautifully, makes it pure genius.