Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
divorced guy: and you weren’t man enough to say no? oy. hope you learned from your mistake 🙁
Lakewood, Monsey, Passaic, Woodbury, Clifton, what area?
yup, city mini
divorced guy: i’m flattered that you’re keeping tabs on what i post 🙂 age: 30’s, but i believe the behavior previously mentioned is found in the 20’s and 40’s, too.
divorced guy, that’s only going to work if people use a little saichel and have more realistic expectations. the shadchanim shouldn’t push shidduchim that don’t make sense, and the singles themselves (read: guys!!) should look in the mirror and adjust their requirements accordingly.
people, as someone who’s been there, i can tell you that people generally don’t get divorced for no good reason. as much as it has become more common, there is still a definite stigma attached to a divorcee. no one in their right mind would put themselves into that category without rethinking it thousands of times to make sure that it’s the right decision. if there are kids involved, it complicates matters that much more, and everyone knows that. believe me, no one thinks divorce is fun. and once you start the process you see how dirty it really is. if someone takes that step, usually there’s a VERY good reason.
lightitup: because sometimes when you’re in it you don’t realize certain things, and while you think you want this person, it may not be the one that’s GOOD for you. i daven that i should find the one that’s good for me, and that i should recognize it when it comes.
mewho: bruno mars. what sheichus?
boredstiff: the one with the maccabeats?
a tichel is just a kercheif. a shpitzel is a whole contraption.
bein hasdarim: if it bothers you that much, maybe florida isn’t the right place for YOU. uh, in fact, it probably isn’t the right place for you even if it doesn’t bother you…
you mean s.c. and why not? old people need companionship as much as young people do, and if they can find it at that age with a little love thrown in for good measure, go for it!
so right, why am i getting a feeling of deja vu? haven’t we gone through this topic already ad nauseum? hate to tell you, but you’re still going to be stuck paying, so get over it. be a man (or at least pretend, like the others do)
light pink, almost white. or whitish base with a thin layer of pink over it.
depends on a lot of things. if someone was separated for a long time (years) and she finally got her get, she could date the next day. she could have been ready earlier, but the get was the waiting factor.
jewelry or watch are always nice. if you want something a bit more spiritual, get her a small leather siddur with her name engraved.
depends on the type of person he is. if he’s super yeshivish, smile with a slight nod and keep going. if he’s not as yeshivish, smile, say hi, see if he approaches you to talk. a smile is never wrong.
NOT!!! while i don’t advocate throwing money around for no reason, using coupons on dates is just plain cheesy. save them for when you go with your family or friends.
why don’t you tell how you feel? she may not realize it. sometimes when people get married, especially when their home life wasn’t great, they gravitate toward their new family to enjoy the normalcy they never had. tell her you miss the closeness you had previously, and how you’d love to see her more often.
no way, jose! yuch! why would i want to mess up my nice, clean house? besides, if ch”v a doctor was needed, he wouldn’t be there. (that’s also why i wouldn’t use a midwife). also, why would i want to subject other members of my family to the experience? it ain’t a pretty situation. uh uh. not for me.
aries, you’re assuming that the couple involved are having run of the mill shalom bayis issues. when it’s NOT the case, but where abuse is happening, keeping the marriage intact is NOT the priority, but keeping the abused party safe IS. people tend to forget that not every marriage is meant to be. as frum jews, we believe that the torah contains our blueprint for life. part of that is the institution of gittin. a good therapist will not do what’s best for the “marriage”, but for the people involved.
Dr. Norowitz
and derech hamelech, i think dr. buls is a gp, not pediatrics.
NO!!! there has developed an interior culture with facebook that is dangerous. people can connect to basically anyone, and the people that are into it post just about every breath they take.
pashuteh yid, stick with the first two. that’s what really counts. in that order 🙂
of course:
i was talking about the ones that take the money and that’s the last time you hear from them. if they convince, beg, cajole, etc, if the suggestion is something in the ballpark, great, at least they’re trying. sometimes it can be annoying, but at least they’re keeping you in mind.
so wrong, you are SO messed up, I think you should take yourself out of the dating scene. I wouldn’t wish you on any of my friends.
sac: people do it because they feel they should do their hishtadlus. believe me, i’ve spent enough $ in that area. but it’s a huge chutzpah when they take the money, meet you for 10 minutes, and that’s the last you hear from them. you are paying them for a service: the service of actively looking for and redting you shidduchim. when they take the money, but don’t follow through on the service, they are stealing and will have to give a din vecheshbon.
so wrong: it doesn’t matter what the technical definition is. what matters is how it’s used and understood in the vernacular. i can list a number of words that technically mean one thing but that shouldn’t be used any more for their current usage.
now if you expect your wife to be the one opening the door for you, you’d better be ready to cook clean, and care for the kids.
i don’t envy your future wife.
so right, you’re so wrong! a guy should open the door for a girl, then look away while she gets in. this doesn’t have to be done in a non-tznius way. btw, that’s what a guy was told by his rosh yeshivah. if it’s good enough for him, it should be good enough for you. a girl wants to date and marry a MAN, not some wimpy girly guy that can’t manage something as simple as opening a door for her. unless you’re one of those freak frumiaks that twist everything to make them look like a tzaddik, like not acknowledging a female neighbor, even if she’s old enough to be his mother.
if your brother didn’t hear anything bad about the guy, if there’s no specific reason not to go out with him, why don’t you? i’ve heard of many stories where the sibs didn’t think it was a match, but the couple themselves thought otherwise 🙂
I’ve been doing it for years. i like to be on time, and it helps. the only drawback is that the calculation becomes so automatic, you forget that other people don’t set their clocks the same way.
willi, it’s very difficult to bring proof since, while guys have no problem telling me things they do, i highly doubt they’ll submit it in writing. i do think it’s worse on the men’s side, but the women do their fair share.
i don’t want divorcees to “stam azoi” be viewed with suspicion, but people that are in the parsha need to know what they may be dealing with. i also want to highlight how difficult it is for those ehrliche divorcees to find someone decent.
whoa! sorry, guys, i have to explain myself. when i said “tzaddikim” it was tongue in cheek. i meant the people themselves.
eclipse: i’m involved with s2s, too. terrific organization. but they don’t know what people do in their personal lives.
health: kol hakavod to you! i did say there are some that have retained their yiras shamayim, and some who have actually grown from their experience (myself included). however, there are loads, and i mean LOADS of divorcees that have fallen. yes, there are plenty of marrieds that have lost their yirah, too. but they’re not the ones we’re discussing now.
willi
you’re right that no one knows what goes on in someone’s soul, but sometimes his actions speak for his soul. in my very personal experience, i have found that a huge amount of divorcees have lost their yiras shamayim. you may see them in shul, on the street, in the grocery looking the same as they always did (even though many change even their mode of dress), but put them on a date and all *** breaks loose. believe me, this information is not made up. it’s coming straight from the tzaddikim themselves.
Trying my best
women are supposed to raise your children and care for your home.
willi, sorry, but i have no clue what you just said.
willi, if you really have personal experience, you’d know what i’m talking about. while i understand that many divorcees have been through the wringer and therefore have lost a lot of faith, the fact is that their actions and behavior are far from ideal. are there some divorcees that have retained their level of frumkeit? definitely, but they are the precious few.
and gbale3: send your tzaddikel out to work and you won’t have to worry about paying for his dates anymore. if he’s old enough to get married, he should be old enough to pay his way.
parents: STOP BABYING YOUR BOYS!!! they somehow get married and expect their wives to do EVERYTHING for them, since they never learned how to manage on their own
aries: you’re the best! couldn’t have said it better myself!
and you wonder why there are so many single girls? there aren’t any decent guys around for them to marry 🙂
sacrilege: back to the beginning here, if you think this is a gross exaggeration, it’s obvious that you’re not familiar with the goings-on in the divorce scene. good. it’s better that way. stay innocent.
HUGE chillul hashem.
ramateshkolian: most people aren’t stupid enough to think that this video defines jews. if anything, it shows that we have a sense of humor, and talent, to boot. guys, lighten up! the video is adorable!
i have no problem with sending a picture, as long as the guy extends the same courtesy. what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
if you look around, you’ll see that there’s no rhyme or reason to why some people are single and others are married. you have the prettiest, smartest girls still single, the prettiest, smartest girls divorced, and the prettiest, smartest girls married. and the same goes for the dumbest, plainest girls being single, divorced, or married. go figure.
eclipse: unfortunately, MANY divorcees consider themselves above halacha and do, in fact, lose their yiras shamayim. if you are one of the few that haven’t, kol hakavod to you. i speak from personal experience with many of these.
some do and some don’t.
the ones that don’t are the ones that have given up.
the ones that do still have HOPE.
a good dose of yiras shamayim and emunah also goes a long way, as with any trying situation.
i’ve heard that the inyan is that it is believed that at the chuppah the ancestors of the chosson and kallah come down to join in the simchah, and at the mitzvah tanz they go back, and that’s the time the chosson and kallah “gezeigen zich”, they take leave of them.
lamborghini. the only problem is that brooklyn doesn’t really have the space for those doors.
weiss’s custard or caramel. YUM!!!
helpful:
imo, that age gap is sick! and more than that, the life experience differential is way too much. methinks there’s something you don’t know.