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“somebody wanna think of a tune?”
It fits like a glove with Matisyahu’s “On Nature”
This was also prior to a drink. After a hit or two, it would only sound better
“right sheitel is more important than right attitude…. “
Ah, spoke like a true Shana Rishona!
Yes. Get married, have a kid, and then, you’ll be an instant authority on all things, big and small. And then, you can come back to same school and tell them how YOU think things should be done.
(come in with the right attitude / right shaitel, and they will actually listen to you!)
I think I did this once before, to the tune of “The Adams Family”
Is there a way to search for that?
“You seem to be deprived of not having grass”
Hardly. In fact, just the other day, I passed a patch, in front of someones house. Or was that an “astro-turf” doormat?
Oh well, no matter. If I want to see grass, I can always Google it!
And for the record, on my weekly walk around the ‘nabe last night, I’m happy to report fresh snowfall! Or at least, thats what it appeared to be. After all, the streets were blanketed with a fresh coating of white, so it must be snow. And people thinj the BP folks are out of touch with nature.
(P.S – Anyone in BP yesterday will get this joke. But I doubt it will appear on the Scoop, or CR for that matter. Too controversial)
“Will these new families be less frum than the kollel family?”
“Will the girl..get phone calls for boys looking for support?”
NO, to both questions. But by going off for the “manadatory year” in EY, she is sending a mixed message. One of the soundest pieces of advice I ever heard was quoted by R’ Pam Zt’l:
“Bochurim ask me if I can introduce them to people who can help them with shidduchim. I tell them, the 1st person you need to meet, is…. yourself”
Once you know what you really want, getting it is much easier. If you send out a confusing message, you get mixed results.
Are there quality boys out there, that are willing to work? Sure, but they are “flying under the radar” (meaning, not making the Top Bocher” list). Or have had a bad run in their HS years.
If you (your parents) are willing to look beyond the surface, you can find true value. I am speaking about boys, but the same holds true for good girls. They are out there, you just need to know what you are looking for and what you are looking at.
Monsey scoop? What would they report on, grass grew 1/4 inch overnight? Or that the leaves are starting to turn colors?
In BP or Lakewood, if you blink, you’ve missed it. That’s why we have a scoop. So the OOTers can see what they missed.
Getting EDITED speeds the process
While I ususally love being proven right, in this case, I wish I was wrong.
Agreer is right. At 26, she most likely had a serious carear, and mr husband had zilch.
Sad, that we demand nothing of our boys, but the world of our girls.
I saw the ad, and was nauseated. Because it implys that girls are “worth” x ammount (when in reality, they are priceless).
And what of the boy? Doe he need to pay a fee to be listed or offered? What is he worth?
(No, I better not ask that. That would imply accountability and expectations we want from the boy, and we do not require that)
What a screwy system we have dug for ourselves. Feh.
Jothar makes a good point. The CR might feel like a warm fuzzy safe place, but it still is the Web, and no matter how vigilant the Mods are, we need to be careful.
OK, now that we’re done being nice-nice, lets get down to business:
Wonderstruck – before anything esle, we need to know a bit about you:
* paper or plastic?
* scotch or bourbon?
* red nail polish or pink? (oops, sorry, scratch that question)
Once we know where you stand on the issues that matter, we’ll let the fur fly!
(and welcome aboard!)
No, Adore. Take a look at the some of the other threads, and you’ll see, I really had a tough time the last few days.
Serves me right, for being nasty to you a few months back.
See? What goes around, comes around!
BTW, are you post wedding yet?
” its the 4 wheel drive deluxe model “
Oh, yeah? Well, lets see how fast you can make it down the aisle in Shoprite with your 4x tank.
I’ll bet money on Mom and her drag-along foldup cruiser anytime. First one to the Frozen section wins
Do you at least have the one with 4x drive? Or is it the drag-along kind? Don’t tell me, its the red plaid kind that folds for easy storage?
Cmon Goq, be honest!
” We have it now for 11 and it works great”
We did that with one car too. It lived for close to 12 years, but the last 3, it was limping and wheezing.
And, we missed that “new car smell” for 9 years!
” shopping cart “
The bubby cart? Wow, I thought my mother was the last person on earth to use one of those.
Ahem. Might I suggest a quick walk thru Flatbush, Willy or EY, as many women wear headcoverings of the non-shaitel type, and look very balbatish and stylish at the same time.
Very silm chance. Had they netted a shark, they would sell it as shark to some snooty uptown eatery, to be served with a cream of snob sauce, for $75 a plate, not can it for $1.29
BTW, I’m having lunch now, so can we please not talk about chicken beaks?
” it means there is a chazaka that you do not chap a joke. ”
Unless the commedian is not as funny as he thinks he is. Then, good ones should get a nod, and the duds should be met with stone-cold silence. And blank stares.
After all, this is the Coffee Room.. not the Cocoa Room!
Yenems. Sorry, spell check must have auto switched it.
And, thanks to all who took pity on me, to laugh at my joke. My CR self esteem has taken a few punches lately, so I need all the support I can get!
Thanks, chevrah!
I hear you loud and clear, Nechomah. But consider this: most of us (myself included) are far from movie star material. But what makes us shine, is our sunny disposition, our general outlook on life, our willingness to go the extra mile for a friend.
Not a head of hair that was lopped off someone in a 3rd world counrty (ok, maybe blonds and redheads come from Europe, but thats not the point).
Self esteem and how you feel about yourself should be based on who you are, not what you look like.
And while your shaitel may look fantastic, my teichel (as it were) is much more comfortable under a helmet, or while playing ball!
Did no one get my joke about Yemens? (or did no one find it funny enough to comment on?)
” wear both kinds of wigs for a couple of hours “
I’m the first to admit, were I to need to be the one wearing a shaitel, it would take all of 5 minutes for me to decide a tiechel is the way to go. And a better teichel for Shabbos.
The shaitel (no matter what price) would only be for simchas
As painful as losing $20k is, its a small price to pay to save your daughter.
I’m in a similar boat (cost of tuition where the kids need to be vs the cost of a much cheaper option, but one not right for them) and in the long run, its the child you need to be concerned about.
Your daughter is lucky to have you as a parent.
Good point, and one that I’m keenly aware of. In fact, when my lease expired, I opted for a car that was LESS than my old lease.
Had I bought a car, I’d be stuck with the payments (or the hassle of selling the car)
“Now, that should work! “
In a way.
But to really get the full appreciation you deserve, you’ll need to buy him something thats worth 10x the cost of your shaitel.
Hmm, what can be had today for $24,000?
After all, what’s money when we’re talking about sholom bayis?
Hey, I just had a terrific idea:
Buy a $50 shaitel from Paula Young
Buy a gift for hubby for the remaining $2350, and he will love you just the way you are!
I’m surprised no one else thought of this.
I don’t smoke, but if I were to start, the brand I would smoke is Yenems.
Lease. If you can afford $300-350 a month, you have lots of options, and you get to pick a new model every 3 years
Oooh oooh, I can help! But first, tell me: What kind of life do you want to be fit for?
A life of sitting on-line, blogging all day?
A life of trawling the murky waters of the web, looking for ways to irritate people with ‘caustic’ comments?
If this is the life you seek to lead, I CAN HELP !
“I don’t have any ideas for a girl “
You’re on the right track though. Instead of fishing, insert shopping.
Fishing, huh? Exactly what were you hoping to catch?
I’m out.
And staying locked in your cocoon, unwilling, or unable to see how time is not standing still, while you stay convinced that your way is still a good venue in terms of building the next generation of yiddishkeit is equally as hurtful.
Need I remind you, BE was MY SHUL. And when it became clear that to stay, was to pretty much guarrantee that my kids would never daven with me, we (meaning, me and my father) left.
I lost a whole slew of friends to the plastic Judaism BE was famous for in the 70s. So yes, I think I have a right to speak on its behalf.
See you on Shabbos!
“I base my opinions on Halacha”
I’ll summarize an often repeated story of a famous Rov, which I think brings this into focus:
From a “halacha” standpoint, you can board a train on Shabbos
From a “halacha” standoint, going to mikvah Shabbos morning presents a whole host of problems.
But the person who goes to mikvah Shabbos morning is an erliche yid, and the person who boards a train on shabbos is a shiy-gatz!
Knowing halacha is one thing. How to correctly apply it to everyday life is another. For that, we turn to our Manhegei Ha’Dor.
So with that said, what do the Rabbonim / Rebbes / Roshei Yeshiva you hold dear think of the antics of DSK and Amanda?
And more importantly, what do they think should be your reaction to people like that?
If you haven’t asked them, you might want to consider it.
“Just stay out of my shul and my life, please.”
OK, maybe not EVERYONE will be thrilled to see me.
“the shul is NOT dead. not even close”
You (and the other YIBE members) are right. I should should not make statements without taking the time to see what is going on right now. Perhaps BE was one way back in the days of the Trustees patroling the aisles, but now things are at a turning point.
Sometime between now an Channukah, I’ll (B”E) daven there to see what you see.
Who knows? Some of the old timers might even remember me.
When BP was a mixed neighborhood, my parents handed out candy.
Now, halloween is a non-event in BP, so the question is moot.
Date (and eventualy, marry) someone else. That will make the prior person a non-entity.
“Husbands stay out of this PLEASE!”
Yeah, right.
” comparing YIBE to emanuel is unfair. “
You are correct, in as much as BE and YI are orthodox by charter. That’s why I said <lehavdil> on each of the examples I cited.
But the sad fact remains, if a bldg is not in use, it either gets turned over to someone else, or gets torn down.
But let me change directions for a moment. In 10 years from now, if no new members are signed on, which would the current membership of YIBE prefer:
Preserve the bldg as is, but vacant?
Subdivide the bldg, and turn in into classrooms?
In which way would Hashem’s glory be better served; having a magnificent bldg stand like a monument to what once was or the sounds of children learning be heard?
“take out ‘vadai’ and put in ‘lichora mistama'”
I’m ok with “vadai”, as I’m inclined to believe its not her tzidkus that helped you made a decision, but the externals she brings to the table.
That said, I’d ask her out. If she can work in a mixed envoirnment, she should be cool with being asked directly.
If you want to hedge your bets, ask her who you can get in touch with to reccomend a shidduch to. That way, if she balks, you don’t spoil your chance. And if she bites, you can make your case.
But something tells me from your very yeshivsh choice of expressions, you are not really taking this seriously, or at least, don’t think your family will. “lichoira, mistameh” is not the kind of talk that a boy who works in a mixed crowd would normally use.
My guess: You’re as black hat as they come, and are having a pipe dream.
Let it go.
“what is yours’ based on?”
The same scroll we all danced with on ST. Its the interpretation and hashkafa we seem to be at odds with.
Mine (the interpretation and hashkafa) is based on listening to what I have heard and seen in 40+ years of being around very respected, learned figures of the Yeshiva and Chassidish world. Not to mention a dozen or so years of classroom learning, and 20 or so years of contiuning education (the Orthodox+ brand).
So, as you can see, I’ve got a whole lotta ammo in my pencil box.
What I say, is a distilled version of what I have heard from the pulpit, from the press, from the people, whom the Orthodox world holds dear.
I’d show my position to the odom godol of your choice, and am pretty sure I’d be told, my approach to the DKS / Amanda story is the correct one for a Ben Torah to have, one that takes a stand against immorality.
Who’s got your back?
“bpt, you don’t know my shul or the people in it so why do you speak such authoritative loshon horah?”
Sorry, BPM, I DO know your shul (If BE is where you call home) and if you are any older than 45, you should know first hand what I’m talking about.
“I think you are generalizing tremendously”
Commonsense – While your relatives may be the exception to the rule, (or possibly, they are from the YI crowd, which tended to be frummer than the BE folks) the fact is, BE now serves a market that is not to be found in significant numbers in BP.
Had the cards been played differently, they may have had more to speak of. My parents were lucky enough to jump ship before we got lost to the American Dream.
Sad to say, that was not the case for many of the folks who remained.
Explain to him, that, unlike most averos, this one will likely produce a result that will never go away (meaning a child), one that will not be easily accepted (if ever) in either community.
His actions may seem harmless from his perspective, but in the long run, a mixed marraige will ususally collapse, and leave the wreckage for him to live with.
“What do you mean by that?”
Simple. If you were there in those days, you’d see the crowd and understand.
There was only one G-d those folks worshipped, and only one message the kids were fed: the American Dream. College is a must for success, and the quicker you integrate with the USA, the sooner you can be assured you have made it out of the shtetle. Yiddishkeit is nice, but if you have finals coming up, its a given that you study on Shabbos, Tom Tov, whatever.
The hypocracy of going to shul in the morning, but watching the ball game after the seudah, being a member of a frum shul, but kashrus was determined on an as needed basis one of two things happened to the membership’s offspring:
* As a result of living with this hypocracy for so long, the next gen of kids / grandkids are too off the D to go to shul, so what happens to BE, happens.
* As a result of seeing the side effects of this hypocracy, for so long, the next gen of kids / grandkids realize there has got to be more to Judaism, than just lip service. So, off they go to find some true meaning to all the plastic they’ve been fed, turn yeshiva frum, and feel uncomfortable in a place like BE. So as sad as its sounds, whatever happens to BE, happens.
Like I said, been there, seen it. Doesn’t taste good, but its just the way it is.