Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
” no …, self esteem, no friends “
Well then, lucky for you, the CR is ready to spring into action. I’ll be back lunchtime with something more elaborite, but if its optimism and a support network you’re looking for, you have hit paydirt!
And till then, cheer up!
Yes, I saw it. What shocked me was how so few people (maybe 300) could so totally overtake the national attention.
I doubt they will accomplish anything concrete in the end, but it does show how new media (facebook, twitter, blogs) can make a movement out of anything.
But I can tell you, Century 21 is LOVING this, as every tourist in NYC heads downtown, and C21 is right around the block.
And as far as lists and askonim go, the only thing this advance notice will do is key in which mosdos can spike their tution by 20%.
Focus on the school YOU want to send your kids to, make it priority # 1,and you will get them in. Shortage or not.
There’s a school shortage? News to me. If you apply to the school that is right for you, in you go.
The trick is to make the school think you are right for them.
That’s what I did, and I got in. Despite not having all the right bells and whistles.
Remember. Image is everything, reality is nothing. With the right marketing, you could get Damien into the Lakewood Pre-K of your choice.
“what you have to do. “
Like what? Have a live conversation with a person in the same room as you?
Way overrated. The CR is much better. Here, we all wear designer labels, are all a size 44 (or 6, depending on your gender) and eat on China. Even in the weekdays. And have have blue eyes.
So I ask you.. Where else but the CR should you want to be?
Ok, lets start again.
40% of the CR is devoted to making light of situations that we as a nation take way too seriously. Like shidduchim, clothing, ect
The next 40% is devoted to poking fun at the way we do things that make no sense (this list is too long to write in a single post)
5% is kept for serious posts.
That said, we’ll start you off with category 1, which is making fun of the silly things that people ask when making shidduch inquiries. My favorite? Do they use disposable plastic plates on shabbos, or do they use the “better” paper plates?
Things like that. So after you’ve been to the CR for a while, you get to see who takes things too seriously, and who (like myself) could give two hoots about silly things like that.
Once we know where you stand on the plastic / paper issue, we’ll move on to the more important questions (like Scotch or Bourbon)
And if your answer to the plastic / paper quesion is, “neither. We eat on China”, that’s cool too. We just need to know.
“This Place Is Addictive”
You say this like its a bad thing.
” what do u mean by brand “
Gosh, you really are new here. When we talk brands, we mean what are the things that identify what makes you tick.
Since its erev shabbos and time is of the essence, we’ll cut to the chase, and see what you’re about with just one question:
Paper or Plastic?
Once we know that, we’ll see about the rest of the indicators next week.
Oddly enough, its the same answer for both questions.
One is $1.00 per serving, the other is $5.00
Same product, different marketing.
Peoplach? Is that like kinderlach, only in a grownup version?
What I remember most about your post, is that I had no idea what “cognative dissonance” meant, and just clicked on the link to see what it was (and am glad I did).
Equally as glad to hear that you’ve found a place that you feel at home (both here in the CR and in your personal life).
As for your personal journey, its a part of who you are, not a liability to “deal with”. If anything, it makes you a better person, and one more suitable to handle the complexities and struggles that a meaningfull realtionship will incur.
How to choose a wife? Boy, if only I knew the secret to that.
With not much else to base my answer on, do what I did: date someone, and if you lose track of time, then you know you’re on to something.
From there, you’re on your own.
And again, welcome back!
Depending on the crime. But understand, once the police are called, there is no stopping that snowball. The agencies and such get called in, and it gets very ugly.
Shomrim are in many cases a smarter move. If they think its over the top, they’ll call in the brass. Otherwise, they can handle it themselves
Moot? Maybe with all the great ideas, the trip was extended. Not only that, Mrs is flying out for the weekend.
I mean, chocolate….
“i rarely dress as though i am going to a funeral”
That’s one way of putting it. And its one of the funniest sights, when you go to a mass gathering of frum women, that 95% of them are dressed in black.
I never did figure that out.
Can you answer a post, where there is no one noted as the poster?
(and please, do tell how you managed to get a screen name so anonymous. I can think of many ways to put this trick to use)
What brand are you?
Use your time in Belgium wisely.. BUY CHOCOLATE!
This is the 2nd thread where I’ve seen a poster that appears blank. What gives?
“Am I a “PLAIN SHLEPPER?”
To the crowd that puts a premium on blue eyes, sad to say, most likely.
But to the rest of us, you’re just fine as you are.
Wanna know the scary part? Not to far back in our history, someone else put a premium on blue eyes. Now, we’re doing it ourselves?
Vey, have we fallen.
” on what exactly????? “
On making the shidduch process as easy as it should be.
In fact, you took the first step already. When asked to conform to some ridiculous social “must” (like 4″ heels) you said no.
Being yourself is a major step in finding someone who is suitable for you as you really are. Not as “they” want you to be.
See how easy it is?
I’m more interested in knowing how the OP was able to get a blank screen name?
Everyone in your dira has the same last name as you!
And GREAT reply, Jothar!
“How do I get back to how I felt before the snafu?”
Please, Fief, let me field this one.
AYC – What you need to do is post something really outreageous, something that will earn you an EDITED. Or say something that will really irritate another member (I could name a few that could use some riling up, but that’s besides the point)
Believe me, nothing gets you back in the groove than a take-off-the-gloves fight. The nastier the better.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
” malanos are not in my student budget.”
Ha! That was a trick question. Had you said, “ok, I’ll run out out and buy a pair”, we would drop you like a hot potato.
Now that we know you’re one of us, we can get to work, hazel eyes and all.
” salmon vs gefilte fish “
CB, When did THIS make it ito the mix? From time to time, we serve salmon on friday night. is this an asset or a liability?
And do we score more or less points, depending on how its prepared?
” now i’m gonna have an even harder time shidduch. “
TAB – We would be willing to work around all the things you list, EXCEPT for the flats.
4″ heels may not be the most comfortable thing to wear, but c’mon..where is your mesiras nefesh?
Get a pair of Manolo Blahniks and give us a call.
Thanks, but on another “advice” thread, us unpaid folks were told to pack it in, so unless you’re ready to charge $$$$, you’re talkin’ to the mirror.
But as long as you’re up and about, are you fully recovered from the surgery?
Bribery. Example:
If you eat an apple, I’ll give you a pack of Gushers!
It sure is g’navias daas, because some unwitting prospect will think he is getting an upper-crust, blue-eyed, royalty-mannered shidduch, when in reality, he is getting a plain shlepper (and quite possibly, a Galiztianer to boot).
Now, if we were talking about blue eyes AND blonde hair, that would be a game changer. That way, you’d get the sechel of a brunette, and the <edited> of a Norse in one neat package.
“i dont think that the BMI is an accuarte indicator”
I agree with you, to a point, 2Cents. The BMI is a good target, though. If you are “only” 10-15 lbs over the BMI range, (which I am) a good indicator of overall health is if your waist is smaller than your chest, you are most likely in good health. (This, for men. I’m not sure how I would apply the ratio in the case of women)
Not a guarrantee, but a pretty good indicator.
Like I said, Goq, all the advice posted here is just to put you on the right track. Since your case in a bit more complicated, you should check with your doctor as the final decisor
Another thing to know is your target weight, which you can determine by checking your BMI. You might need to lose 50 lbs, or you might only need to lose 30, depending on your height
Ok, so maybe you can compromise on the “work” issue:
You put your “business building” on hold, and take a salary job
She starts taking jobs that fit 80% of her requirements, so the $ starts flowing.
OTOH, JL makes a valid point. If money were not an issue, would all else be A-OK? If so, money is not your problem.
Focus on the root, and all the detail will fall into place.
And to those who say “the CR room is not the place to seek advice” I respecfully disagree.
Were we talking about halacha l’maisa or medical advice, I could see your point. But relationships? We’ve been down the road ourselves, so why not share our experiences? Just because we don’t charge $$$ for the service?
Wow, what a tough spot to be in.
Without knowing the specifics, I would say the time to bail out, is when one (or both) of you is no longer willing to try.
As long as one of you is willing to try (and the other is amenable to the effort) then there is still hope.
Loveless marraige? That takes time to build, so I’m not sure if you can say you’ve hit empty till you’ve been working at building the realtionship of at least 5 years.
Is the parnasah situation something that needs to be looked at? That might be a sore subject, but one that could be a game-changer.
” Same few things that neither one of us seems to be able to get past”
Again, not sure what this is referring to, but everything (well. almost everything” can be negotiated.
See if you can summarize the “things” into a single sentence per thing (not here, between the 2 of you) and see if you can tackle one point at a time.
Either way, think long and hard before jumping ship. Its a very cold and lonely world out there, and one that does not forgive mistakes. Try to fix your marraige, whatever it takes.
“Can someone explain the necessary stress?”
Sure. Take your pick:
Seminary
Shidduchich
And your attempt to upset this imbalance by stating “boys don’t learn this stuff” is contrary to the “system” we have put in place.
Don’t question it. Its just the way it needs to be.
Oh, and one more thing. Once your daughter has mastered all this, and graduated into a promising carrear, you /she can have the privilige of supporting one of our undereducated boys.
Again, not to be questioned. It just needs to be this way.
Feel better?
I am a male horse.
I’m a female turtle.
Now, I’m totally confused, as from your screen name, I have no idea what you are.
Who ever heard of a female named John?
Music to my ears, GOQ.
# 1 – Don’t be discouraged by slow progress. Changing an eating lifestyle takes time. And be VERY wary of diets that promise instant results. I read an inverview by the woman who started FreshStart (in Ami Living a week ago) and she said, “you can lose weight quickly or permanently, but not both.
# 2 – Stay far away from diet soda. It works against you, not with you
# 3 – Walk 30 minutes a day; either a loop, or 15 minutes in one direction, 15 minutes back. Don’t focus on mileage (yet) focus on consistancy (meaning, 7 days a week)
# 4 – Never skip breakfast (except for a Taanis) and dont eat anything after 9:00pm (execpt for fruits)
Considering your overall health condition, all this (my advice and the advice of others) MUST be cleared by your doctor. But if you are committed, we can help you!
Keep us posted!
Is this post for real? People, please remember where we are and who we are.
I think someone posted something so incindiary, it fried the circuts (but it wasn’t me!)
Shirt collars open = Boys, no. Poppa CHECK
Tie in garish neon colors = Boys, yes. Poppa, no
Over sized Windsor Knot = NO
Ending well above the waist band = NO
” I’d love to have him for Shabbos “
Thats very kind of you, Nechomah.
So far, he has had 4 seudos in as many places (none of which where he knew the host / hostess). When asked how he hooked up with each place, we were told, its so and so’s brother’s in-laws, or its “someone who invites bochurim”, so considering how vastthe network appears to be, its quite possible he WILL be at your place for Shabbos at one time or another.
Good one, # 42!
Right up there with a pearl pin.
Kiss of death in some zip codes, the mark of distinction on others
” Parents would cry ….what …their children are doing “
I’ll tell you something my kid is NOT doing. He is not eating. At least, he is not eating a normal healthful diet.
And not because there is no food to be had.
He is not eating properly, because after a 10-12 hour day, he simply has no strenght or motivation to start shopping and cooking. So he lives from Shabbos to Shabbos, when he gets invited out, or on takeout food.
I sort of know what he’s going thru, because that’s how I live mid-week in July and Aug, when Mrs is Upstate. If I’m lucky, there are leftovers to take back to the City, so the cooking and takeout venue is kept to a minimum.
But to live like this for 1/2 a year?
Oiy Vey 🙁
“get out of my path before I run you down”
So THATS what you meant, as you roared down the OP service road last Sunday.
And here, I thought you were trying to wave to a friend on the ped path.
In Bklyn, it means:
“Hey, that’s <insert name> across the street. (leans on horn….BEEEP!) and waves to <insert name>
I agree. There is no reason for a girl to get married before 20-21.
They just finished a really tough school cycle. (Much harder than their male counterpart, I might add)
Let the enjoy freedom a little, before getting tied down by a family.
Not one bit. There is still ZERO mention or discussion about demanding more accountability from our boys.
I’ve posted this before, but I think its worth repeating:
We do not have an “older girls / age gap” shidduch crisis
What we have is an “under qualified / under motivated” boys crisis. In other words, a quiality / confidence crisis.
So the only logical choice for a 25 y/o boy,is to date a girl 5 years his junior. To do otherwise, would make him look foolish
Solve the quality / confidence crisis,and you “solve” the shidduch “crisis”
“Almighty M-ods.”
Ha! Too funny!
“the second word of your post”
That word was used before, by another member (who has of late, gone missing).
I wonder if its the same person, with a new screen name?