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Wolf –
Of all examples, I’m glad that you chose this one to illusrate made up halochos, because of the following story:
The Chofetz Chaim was once asked to host a visiting rov, to which he readily agreed. The person making the arrangements added that, due to the guest’s chashivus, it would be proper to make “other arraigements” for the Chofetz Chaim’s rebbetzin.
The Chofetz Chaim replied with a withdrawal of his hospitality offer, with the following explanation; “I signed a kesuba that stipulates I feed my wife. Hachnosas Orchim, while very nice, cannot override my obligation to my Rebbetzin”
Not sure if this is exactly relevant, but still a very nice story about how gedolim related to their spouses in the public arena
And who added the “no relationship to BP” to my screen name? Thanks, YNW!
Huh?
Gaon Atzum –
Sad to say, 99% of the wedddings I go to have simple circle-dancing with the occasional over-under teams (which rarely work beyond the 3rd or 4th pair). Once in a while, I do see some very coordinated bochurim, who either have natural grace or do lots of practice. (The girls side of the mechitza is much better, but they take lessons, so that’s not a fair comparison).
One shtick you did not mention, which I saw once and thought was a great idea, was 6-7 of the kallas friends borrowed hats and jackets (not props, the real thing) and went into “dance” around the kallah. (If there are any girls reading this thread, consider implementing this one..it was a real winner)
Since I’m rapidly approching “middle age” I try to stick to the sidelines, but the talented ones are fun to watch. But I must say, the analysis you gave must have taken hours to write (and very well written, I might add).
You should contribute more often! (just please pick a subject I can comment on:)
And as far as taking heat for the BP initials, no, thankfully, but it did give me an idea for a new thread. I’m going to put it together overnight and post it as “The BP mess”
Yom Hadin, as it has been described, is a frightfull event, and like many frightfull experineces, has the ability to disorient a person (as it were).
While the full experience defies comparison, if I had to guess, imagine standing in a courtroom, and as you wait in line for your turn, you see the exacting justice the people ahead of you are getting. And as you hear the long list of wrongs read off (and realize that there was truly no excuse for any averah, no matter how good a reason they may have had), you realize that when your turn comes, you’ll most likely be in the same pickle.
I don’t know about you, but that scene scares the wits out of me. But there is hope! As one of Am Yisroel, we have what is called zechus avos, and if you know who you are, you know who to call in for help (this is it, in a nutshell, but you get the general idea)
Again, talk to your rov / rebbe, and if you don’t have one.. get one.. they can shed more light on this than I ever could!
Its brought down in sefer Shla (Sheni Luchos Habris) and its a segula to help a person remember thier name when they stand before the Bes Din Shel Ma’aloh (My guess is, it only works if one takes the possuk and makes it their “mission statement”, ei, tries to live up to the directive.. but that’s also my 2 cents. Ask a rov / rebbe to hear the bigger picture)
kapusta – I’ll give you a long answer fisrt, then a short one:
One of my favorite pirke avos mishnas are (6:2) is,”each and every day, a bas kol goes forth from Har Chorev and says, ect)
Who hears this bas kol? and to whom is it directed to? One explanation I heard was, its heard by anyone who hears the call (meaning they experience a bolt of teshuva and act on the feeling instead of ignoring it.)
So, while I picked the number “4 members” it was an arbitrary number, but I figured if someone can relate to the topic, they will “hear” it calling out to them, and therefore, it was directed to them (and anyone else that feels they can be of help)
The short answer: About 4 months ago, there was a thread “insensitive comments” and i was expecting each of those respondents to pick up this thread (some already did, the others may just not have seen it yet.
As far as I could tell, you did not comment on that thread, but IMHO, it was one of the better threads. Lots of chizuk, lots of heart. (Not sure how to post the link, so perhaps the Mods can help out with that).
Its kind of hard for me to get excited over green decor (though whoever was behind it was very thorough), but its pretty clear from the seforim shown in the photos, you are more than just run-of-the-mill blogger.
Nice to know who your neighbors are!
This is a longshot, but are you looking for the name Nota? (That’s all that comes to mind that starts with nun and ends with ayin)
If I’m guessing correct, Nota is usually linked to Nosson (as in Nosson Nota)and may be the yiddish version of the name. Kind of the way Yitzchok and Aazik go together.
If that’s the case, this is the possuk for Nosson – mishlei, 20:27, Ner Hashem nishmas odom, chofesh kol chadrei boten.
Check with a rov (or rebbe) but thats my 2 cents
If anything, this is EXACTLY the place to discuss this, as where else can you get honest insights to something that invariably involves both men and women.
And CR is the safest way to do it, because the Mods keep things in line. And So right is right (sound repetetive, right?) in a “womens only forum” there are bound to be men signed in as women, so in many ways thats even more risky, becuase people tend to say things they would otherwise not say, when they think they are in limited company.
Tralala –
True, I did not have you in mind, but with a screen name like tralala, you’re just what the doctor ordered!
And Wolf – While you have been known to throw your fair share of punches, when the occasion demands it, I’m sure you could offer sound advice in a really helpful way.
Ok, enough of patting ourselves on our backs… lets see if ASF can get the message back to person # 1 and then we’ll see how good we are!
Wolf and Oomis, Thank you for clarifying that.
You are correct; in many cases there is a need for medical intervention, and no ammount of talking will help the person, much like no ammount of talking will help someone nearsighted avoid glasses.
What I was refering to (and hope is the case) that what the person is calling “depression” is just a case of the blues, that has gotten out of hand.
As ASF stated, she is already meeting with a therapist, and just needs a little boost (just like many of us do from time to time)
Not everyone needs medication from the get-go. Let her try this first. Look how sunny and cheerful I come away from the CR!
Last night over supper, I mentioned the “no leftovers because its like the Mon in the midbar” idea, and one of the kids said, if that’s the case, there should be no leftovers any day of the week. Mon had a daily expiration date (except for Friday’s supply).
So? Do those people toss their food on a daily basis? Or do they somehow manage to prepare EXACTLY the right ammount every single time. And what about a 12 oz box of cereal? Do they toss that too at nightfall?
Doubtful. More than likely, they just can’t be bothered.
And today’s lunch is NOT cholent (I’m stockpiling for July / Aug)
I am “refreshing” this thread as I posted late last night and it may have been missed, and I feel its very important.
So, how soon do I hear from the expected 4 members?
The “bundle” I saved ammounted to about $100 / month over 10 years, Which is nothing to blink at, but over the lenght of the years, it did not save as much as you would think.
Again, if its a choice between buying / leasing new or getting something used, that’s a whole other ballgame.
But buying new costs a bundle, and given the choice, I think (hope?) I made the right choice by leasing.
Plus, most leases are only 3 years, so if it turns out to be a bad move, you can always buy then (but so far, I have yet to meet the person that goes from lease to buy)
When I was shopping, all the popular places were within $20-30 a month of each other. I picked the place I did because I’m hoping they can protect me when it comes time to stand trial on the “excessive wear and tear” the adjuster will put me thur when the lease is up (I have anouther year to go, and this was my 1st lease, so I can’t tell you if I chose wisely)
But given my experience between buying new and leasing, so far leasing was a better choice. Things I don’t like about my current van are only going to be my headache for another year. When I was in a bought van, it was mine for 10+years, shortcomings and all, plus it was old.
Let me tell you, there is something to be said for a new car / van. If you can afford it, go for it. (and enjoy it!)
This may sound sarcastic, but have her join the CR! I’m not kidding. Many of us have been thry tough moments and many of us are good writers. Unless its a topic that is best left off the public airwaves, chances are, we can help.
Many times, its just a matter of hearing that others have been around that block before, and how we coped. Not every problem, not every time, but sometimes just being able to sound off and be heard makes the difference.
Let her sign up, post a thread and once the replies start gushing in, watch how fast she cheers up!
(and I can think of at least 4 members who will no doubt 2nd my motion as soon as they see this topic. Show her those replies and she will see that help is never far off)
Ditto to Mayan_Dvash – My kids make faces at cholent on sunday nite, but I take it to work for lunch (I’m in my 40s, but the stomach seems to have more tolerance than one would expect for mt age.. maybe the potato kugel I have at the 11:00am CR break acts as a liner!)
Gevald! HS kids on-line? Of course, I know this to be the case, but it never occured to me that you’d be in the CR.. But Shimmel does ask a good question; how are you online during what would presumabably be school hours? (unless your from overseas)
And yes, squeak, I know how savvy today’s kids are. But I don’t have to spoon feed them ammo to use against senior management (let them learn the way we did.. the hard way!)
And lastly, to DA.. I sure hope you don’t work for any of the schools I’m a parent at, because if the top brass ever saw my rants (tuition, ect) I’b be in hot water!
I’m off on Fridays (and don’t have internet updstate). Then again, with an empty home, I might spend more time in the office, so the net time might actually increase!
Uh, can someone please clarify something. DA, Mischif and HIE.. are you really kids, as in campers?, I would hope that your at least HS age (the net is really no place for kids… even the CR!)I would really hope you’re married staffers, with summer jobs upstate.
Do us old folks need to start watching what we disclose? I mean, it would really be unfair to your parents / teachers if we tell you our strategies for dealing with kids (and you have the unfair advantage 😉
Great answer to the 6:00am Daf question!
My son sees the early am hours ever so often.. when he has yet to see the pillow from the night before 🙁
I was no better in my early days, but not to worry. Once that little bundle of wet diapers starts wailing, oh will he learn the meaning of “bonding with his children” (l-rd knows I did my share of pacing the floor)
Yentish – I’m going to say, I’m with you, but I could not tell if you meant you scrape / stack the china or the disposables at the table (we do the latter, thank you very much!)
Mischief – Its either because grew up with linen, and cannot fathom a disposable plastic tablecloth on top of the linen one, or you ONLY know of the plastic disposable table cloth on top of the linen one, and cannot fathom sitting down to a table without one. (Again, I’m of the latter group).
Stacking is only an issue if you are the one clearing the table. If it gets done for you (younger siblings, live-in, ect) the question never even becomes an issue. (Needless to say, we stack)
Where is gets interesting is when one of the kids go to a friend’s house and see an “upscale” version of the Shabbos table and whan to have those upgrades instituted at home (but do not want to know of washing / drying the china on motzoi Shabbos).
Our home scene? If we are having guests (and guests can be anywhere from kiruv boys, to bungalow friends, or anyone in between) we roll out the china (the plastic disposable tablecloth over linen is not up for negoitiation). The 1st time our D-I-L / mechutonim (may they come sooner than soon!) come for the meal, they get the royal treatment. After Sheva brachos are over, out comes the disposables.
Ok, maybe an execption for the mechutonim, becuase they’ll only be comeing over once in a while. But the kallah? Now she’s one of the gang! (That’s life 🙁
Fresh ground pepper? Gee, I never thought of that. But I do see the relevance; we try to use garlic from a press (or on Shabbos, the frozen cubes) as opposed to the powder stuff whenever possible.
Thanks, Kaputska.. I’m gonna ad the peppermill / powder to our “must” list!
Glad to see this thread revived (especialy since I missed the boat on the feminism thread.. gosh 500+ posts?)
I may have posted this gem eariler, but even so, it bears repeating:
Q: Do you eat on china or plastic?
A: We eat on plastic, but treat it like china!
Who said shidducim needs to be boring!
Cherry – you are right; I don’t want my kids to live by diifernt standards than I do. Of course, I can drive a car, and my 15 year old cannot; there are certain things that are age appropriate. Can socializing / time off / time to chill out is one of them. Does a teen need the same ammount of down time as his parents do? Probably not. But they surely need time to unwind, and a change of scenery is part of that unwinding process. We fully understand the need for limits; speed limits, deadlines, expiration dates,ect. Teens know this too. But testing those limits is what helps them grow to be self disiplined. I cannot shadow my boys every step of the way. But I do hope they have a little bit of me in them, so they can choose wisely (or go to plan b, when plan a fails!)
Wolf – welcome to my (and many CR members) world! Parenting teens was described to be as crossing a frozen river; you need to step very carfully, becuase one wrong move and you both wind up in the water. Stopping (or not crossing) is not an option; you and your teen need to move forward. Both of you want to accomplish the same goal; but as a parent, you need to be the voice of reason (Although from your posts, you seem to have things under control 🙂
As it happens, we were out last night with another couple. He and I talked of about 10 minutes, and the two Mrs talked for the better part of 2 hours, with the two of us just nodding or yes / no-ing when asked for our input.
On the way home, Mrs BP says she had a great time (and I’m wondering how I was of any help towards this fun), but that is the cost of a good realtionship. Not always talking.. sometimes just listening. And yes it takes time, but worth every minute
Oooh Moshe, did you step on a landmine with this one!
For openers, I’m inclined to agree with Oomis.. you’re probably single.
2nd – I’m not sure what Dovv is referring to, but it just so happens, I did hear a terrific pshat on this mishnah:
“Sicha”, meaning mindless chatter is to be avoided with your wife. Talk to her like an adult! Talk tachlis! The pshat was illustrated by a story of an adom godol (don’t remember which one, and note taking on Shabbos afternoon is not an option) whose Rebbitzin, of many years, was niftar. His children suggested that he consider remarrying. His reply: “Do you think your mother can be replaced just like that? Do you know the hours we spent talking about inyonie emunah and ruchniyus? She was more than just a housewife.. we shared some of the deepest thoughts and understood each other in ways I cannot describe.”
Too bad I don’t remeber the godol’s name (it would blow Moshe Rose out of his seat).
I’m sure there are other pshatim (and would love to hear them!) but clearly Moshe’s glasses are “Rose” tinted!
Get with the program, Moshe. Wifes are our friends / partners / alter-ego / you name it.
They understand us better that we understand ourselves. (Gee, I hope Mrs. BP reads this post!)
EDITED
Cherry – Halevaie all of klal yisroel should have the midos and mannersims of the CR membership.
Unless by “this locaton” you meant Wal-Mart, as Shtusim pointed out. In that case, I agree with you. Many of the NYC people come up the the mountains, treat the locals with disdain and act in a manner that is not the best example.
But the topic of this thread was teen behavior, so we need to stick to that. (But you are both right; we should mind our manners when upstate.
Sofdavar – I never dia headcount, but this is how the numbers usually rack up:
Reuvain sees 10 kids at the bowling alley
Shimon sees 8 kids at the mall,
Levi sees 6 people in the Walmart parking lot. = 24 kids
The problem is, these same 24 kids are seen by 20-30 adults, so all of a sudden, we have HUNDREDS of kids hanging out because it seems like they are everywhere. And yes, I know of all the bad stuff that goes on in Bklyn, but are the numbers really off the charts? NO. We are (like shtusim says) talking about a small percentage of trouble makers, and that is no reason to slam our kids for being a little looser over July and Aug.
I have several friends whose kids are “off line” in the context of the rest of their family. Know what? So was I.. as were 90% of of in our teen years. But to say that being a kid is akin to being a drug addict? Or a Greenwich Village Punk? Please. Give our kids more credit than that.
And finally, SJS and Dunno –
the reason I’m so outspoken about this topic is becuase I too was painted with a broad paintbrush, and although it was a bunch of years ago, I still remember how it hurt to be tossed in the same bucket with the sinners.
And yes, in one of last weeks threads I was accused of “generalization”. And while that tactic may be OK when discussing things that being wrong has little consequence, when it comes to our kids, we need to do more than just shoot from the hip. They are individuals, and need to be seen as such.
Ok, I just tried it. But does this mean I’m going to need to learn to type in text-shorthand? And know all those 3 letter abbreviations?
Oh, the price I pay for sholom bayis!
Dear Mods –
Thank you for removing the last 2 posts.
Smart cookie –
Of course I know what goes on there. I’m only a few miles from there, and know all too well what goes on in the parking lot of Center 1. I also know what goes on at the tail end of Broadway in Montecello (a block or so past the courthouse). Ditto for the bowling alley.
I also know about the parties that take place in bungalows that get rented in non-frum colonies by frum teens. Yes, I know all of that, so clearly, I’m not ignorant
But I also know that you are talking about 20-30, max 50 kids.
Now, weigh that against the fact that we have HUNDREDS of yeshiva kids that spend the summer doing NOTHING wrong. Where the hue and cry goes out is in this senario:
Mr. or Ms. Yeshiva Bochur / BY Girl is in walmart (gasp!) buying a box of cheerios, and sees an ex-classmate or neighbor (who is no longer in the mainstream)in aisle 5. And they stop for a minute to exchange small talk.
While this is going on, Reb Hat / Jacket at all time sees Bochur / BY girl talking to someone who is OBVOIULSY doing drugs and l-ord know what else (but could not tell you how this is known) and comes to the wrong (but definitve) conclusion that Yeshiva bocher / BY girl is only a few steps away from buying a cheeseburger.
Think I’m exaggerating? I’ve heard this dozens of times. I’m the parent of 3 teens, so I hear things from both the parent / yeshiva end as well as the teen end.
As far as the “opposite gender”, my boys would say hello to a family friend in public. That does not mean they are one step away from the unthinkable. It means they have mentchlechkiet. And they go to a very good yeshiva
Do bad things happen in the mountains? Sure they do. Is it the epidemic that the “askonim” make it out to be?
No way. Like I said, we need to stop bashing our teens. They are good kids and like everyone else, need to relax every now and then. Relaxing does not mean they are going off the derech.
Smart cookie – Yes, we do talk (during supper and on the walk). She rarely takes a phone call during these times, and if she does, its only for a minute or so (unless its her family or really important).
Lkwood wife – Really? That is news to me, but worth investgating.
Thanks
We mak every effort to go for a walk on Sunday, and eat supper as a family each night.
And we always speak respectfuly to each other, especially in front of the kids.
She does not e-mail, I don’t text, so that’s out. I eat suppers leftovers for lunch, so I guess you can count that as a bonding relationship; I clean up, she prepares a meal that I enjoy(ed)
I’m with you all the way on this topic. Teens get behind the wheel with little sleep the night before and are unfamiliar with the winding roads. Its bad enough to speed on the thruway or the 17, But to do so on the back roads?
The fatal accident last summer in Woodridge was a friend of ours, so this really a sensitive topic.
Gottit – you are now my best friend!
No, I’m quite far from my teen years, but I was what today would be called an “at risk” teen, all becuase I did not fit the mold and had some colorful friends.
Mind you, I did ok in yeshiva, and had some really yeshivish friends, but none of that would matter today. If you so much as cross the line (and the line is one that is very hard to clearly define) you are marked a “problem child”
Mamashtakeh –
The polo / baseball cap is an example of how nutty the yeshivish world can sometimes get. Is that appropriate for shachris? Maybe not. Is wearing a hat / jacket appropriate for a trip to Walmart? Depends on who you ask.
But to tell a 17 year old, who is in camp (one, I might add, that the parents chose) and the other 9 friends are going on a camp trip in a hooded sweatshirt, that he / she needs to be in full dress uniform at all times, is, IMHO, extreme.
So to answer your question, the cap / polo may shut a few doors, but that will only protect you from the folks you would not be happy with in any event, if you’re the polo kind of person.
If on the other hand, you are the hat/jacket to Walmart kind of person, Kol Hakovod! (and I have lots of friends like that).
But don’t make it sound like a bochur who wears a Tommy dress shirt untucked (yes, that’s also against the “rules”) is probably doing drugs and eating traif. And, no, its not even on the path to that.
Again, lets stay calm. Our kids are good kids and they should be treated as such.
And finally Rescue and Squeak –
I would love nothing more than to see the end of the July / Aug vacation months. Many places have school year round and a week off every so often. A much more manageable time slot to fill, and one that does not necessarily mean you need to leave town for each week off.
But the liklyhood of that happening? Zero. So its off to Walmart we go! (and please be sure to look for me on Sunday night, crawling along the 17.. I’ll be the one with the look on my face that says, “why am I doing this to myself?”)
This “problem” rears it head every summer. The problem is really limited to a few camps that employ boys and girls that are simply more modern than you average “yeshivish” family. Its just that for the 1st time in 10 months, we go shopping and see people from all circles in a few mile radius.
The other “loose cannon” is the mothers helper / bungalow colony counslor that has no one to answer to.
By and large, our bnei and bnos yeshiva are spending their summer behaving as they should. True, my son may wear a polo or baseball cap on an off grounds trip, and true he may say hello to someone he knows from a “different” circle. And while that may seem like “there is rampant pritzus in the gaas”, its far from fact.
2am in the walmart parking lot is a whole different story. Even I should’nt be there at that time of day (or night). But what goes on during “normal” hours is just that. Normal.
Calm down and stop bashing our teens!
My Chosson teacher pointed out that logisticly, most hotels (like the Marriot or Hilton) will mean that one of the happy couple (presumibly the chosson) will spend the majority of their stay on the floor or the sofa. Its also most likely not near minyan, so that’s another big drawback
This logistical problem would be avoided if the room were booked in a frum hotel.
All things being equal, there’s no place like home!
I don’t know of one, but I do know of a VERY funny story on this topic.
Person A booked a cleaing lady to get her bungalow in shape prior to her arrival. Person B did not, and planned to clean it upon arrival. (they are in adjoining units)
Person A and B arrive on the same day; A to a chazzer shatl and B to a sparkling clean bungalow.
The cleaner did the wrong unit!
I’m on during lunch, or when my co-workers break for a smoke (which I don’t). And I rarely use YWN for News.. its almost always for the CR
I visited a few times, and the place looks very nice. If you’re a serious ben torah, you’ll be a perfect fit. Abecrombie, Roots, sideways basball caps are a no-no.
This happens in my family all the time. I and the Mrs adopted cholov yisroel, my parents and sisters did not.
So when invited for a milchig meal, the host goes thru the effort of not serving us (nor cooking with) cholov stam. They do NOT use different pots or cutlery (yes, we eat on disposable plates).
After all, its not like they cooked traif; its a chumrah and we chose to adopt it, so they accomodate it. Not much differnt than someone who is counting calories or limiting their sat fat intake. You don’t have to be obnoxious about your chumros. If you’re upfront about your needs, people will try to work with you.
I’d like to add the importance of bicycle helmets. Ask any hatzoloh member that has responded to a trauma call, and be convinced.
Not as crucial for rollerblading (unless your speeding down the big hill in Prospect / Central park) but for bikes, which can easily reach a speed of 10 mph, a fall without a helmet is a disaster.
Semantics, Squeak. No matter which words you feel more comfortable with, frum yidden are best left out of the military machine, so the people best suited for fighting can do the job right.
Yes, there have been notable exceptions (R’ Mike Tress, for example) from our circle that have served in the army with distiction. But they are the exceptions. For the most part, if you go into uniform, you come back dead or frei (neither of which his high on my to-do list). And given that the Uncle will not really accomodate my wishes, I’d do best to avoid him altogether.
Now, as I stated in an earlier post, should it be necessary for me (g-t zul upheiten) to face off against anyone and join the IDF, I would take any position they needed me for (yes, even “gruntwork”) and claw my way thru heck and back, despite my preference for deskwork. Know why? Becuase I can hardly except John Shaygetz from Ohio to join the IDF and bust heads to defend yiddin. All I’m saying is, let me do what I do best, unless its absoulutly necessary to put me in harms way.
I only used those “bigoted, generalizations” to illustrate a point. Despite what the draft board says, not all of us are or should be army material. Not that we can’t; just that we can do other things better.
As far as generalizations, I base what I say on how 99% of the erlicher male population that I know could not perform on the battlefield (killing, maiming, slogging thru mud, ect) as well as the goyim of this country. Maybe you know folks from your shul /. school that are more fit, but on the whole, we do thinking work, and they do grunt work. Come to Manhattan any day of the week and tell me how many tzitis and yarmulkas you see at a construction site (unless they’re the architect) and them come to any office building and see how many of us are doing the thinking work.
Its not a quesion of being better; its a matter of being better suited.
Cherry –
Of course we respect the US soldiers. That’s why we provide them with benefits both during and after service.
The question was, should we as frum yidden, join the ranks. My take is, we can be of better service to our host country than crawling thru a minefield. Could I do it? I guess. Could some 250 lb shaygetz from Ohio do statistical analysis? Perhaps.
But he is better at fighting and we are better at thinking. And while thats all well and fine, Uncle Sam thinks I would do just fine with a 100 lb knapsack and a gun in my hand.. just like the 250 lb Ohio guy. So if at all possible, I’d try to avoid getting into uniform. Besides, Mr. Ohio shaygetz has no minyan or kashrus or Shabbos logistics to be concerned with, whereas I do.
Yeshivaguy222 –
As someone who does not struugle with a weight problem, its hard for me to take sides here.
But as someone who is a human being, and the parent of several yeshiva boys, you have some serious soul searching to do if you are not ashamed to put these feelings in print. Its one thing to feel this way (that’s human, and we all are) but to spell it out? To make it policy? Thats deplorable.
Yeshiva? Sigh, how we have fallen.
Needless to say, I (and my boys) would avoid the draft if at all possible. True, America has been very good to us, but we (the white collar crowd) can serve our host country better if we do the things we do best, (like office work) and leave the shooting and killing to the beefy amercians who excel at things like that.
Of course, if drafted, I would hope that we would be placed in situations where our office / critical thinking talents would be best utilized.
Should the absolute worst case senario happen, and I / we find ourselves on the front line, I would hope that we could serve with distintion. If push came to shove, and America found itself at war with a hostile country, I / we would do our best to give back to the USA, which has been (thus far) very kind to us. As far as yiddishkeit on the front lines? Not so sure if that would survive the war.
But ask a better question (one that has come up in my office before):
Were the USA to find itself face to face with Israel, what would us flag wavers do then? Or better yet, what would the folks protesting on 2nd avenue do then?
I know my answer (even though my Ivrit is for the birds). Wonder what the guys in the long black coats would do.
How to survive in the NYC metro area on $50K ?
Welcome to America!
#1 – the expectation is that your spouse will work too
#2 – parents help till they are in thier 80’s (no, Im not kidding)
#3 – its called living day-to-day, and when the big ticket expenses (weddings, ect) come up, you borrow.
But this should come as no surprise to you, if you have any intention of being in chinuch. Listen to the rebbeim / teachers in your circle and you’ll a common theme; They are not in it for the $… because there is none.
Your case might be different, as you have a degree and experience. But my guess is, you’ll still need to go way out of the metro area to find a school that values (and is willing to pay for) your true worth. As for getting paid on time? I only know the BP market, and its slow as molasses.