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“The best vacation ever!”
C’mon tell us the truth. How many eggs and potatoes did you scarf down over the 10 days?
Consider this: the average fancy 10″ round, 6″ tall frosted cake, between the batter, cream and frosting.
Care to guess at how many eggs, sticks of marg, cups of sugar, cups of potato starch, that must contain?
I shudder to think about it.
“king of JEWISH music how? “
No, WIY, that’s not what I meant to say. Lipa (nor anyone else) is the king of anything. I was poking fun at MBD’s title (great singer, but king? Gimme a break)
“Lipa’s brother Zishe”
He’s a BP favorite as well. Nice guy, heart of gold.
“it seems she wants to be jewish and maybe conservodox”
With an Irish Catholic boyfriend and a crab cake lunch? I’m not sure what she wants to be, but it sure aint Jewish.
Just wait till her son is old enough to realize what his mother is up to. Then, she will understand that her actions are not “her own personal choice”.
The ripple effects are very far reaching.
“Orthodox Paradox” by a certain Noah Feldman,”
I read this a while back, and re-read it now. The common thread I see between Noah and Devorah is they both crossed the line that Jews can’t cross. Once you marry <or otherwise, but can’t print that here> outside the faith, you are out of the club until you renounce that union.
The other common thread the two have, is they think they are right and we are wrong.
But as 600kb mentioned on another thread, Ms. Dropout will have her 15 minutes in the spotlight, and then be as forgotten as all the other dropouts.
Too bad she’s going to get her heart broken in the process. I know several dropouts like her (both male and female). They never find a place in the outside world. The stigma of “traitor” follows them wherever they go, and eventualy, they settle for a life far worse than they had when they were on the inside.
What a shame. And only in her 20s. Poor girl has no idea what’s in store for her 5 years (or so) from now.
” Who dethroned MBD? “
I was gonna say that!
Lipa is so-so at concerts. See him at a wedding, with the right crowd, and he’s a sight to behold. I saw his redition of “tonight’s gonna be a good night” and, despite his claim that he does not “rap” it was as good a rap as any brotha can bust out.
Oh, sorry. I let my inner thug bubble to the surface. My bad 🙁
hockster613 –
Consider this: Stay home for Pesach itself, and go away for 10 days AFTER Pesach, when you can actually enjoy the food you are paying for. I mean, how many eggs, matzos and potatoes can a person eat?
Plus, you won’t have 2.5 of the days restricted by Yom Tov.
” I find it ignorant and stupid.”
Try a little chill or flex, APY. Then, you might see this in a different light.
longarekel –
You forgot to list Flexe-dish (my personal fave).
That means one who can fit in to whatever setting they find themselves in, and be convincing at it. It means being able to root for the home team with the same “bren” at Met Life Staduim, no matter who’s on the field (v’hamaiven, yovin)
” why would a FRUM single girl want to wear makeup??? “
Simple. To get from “single” and “married”.
And then, all the makeup that Lancome can produce is justified.
“every non-Jew is a drunkard, and all Jews are perfect people”
Hardly. But the percentages are very much in our favor, and the odds of her running into real anti-semetism with her new found partner is very much real, once the booze starts flowing (which is every sporting event, every social event)
Her words,if I heard correctly: Irish Catholic. In the pre-1970s BP, we had them for neighbors. And now thru my line of work, I once again deal with them. True, its not fair to generalize, but odds are, if you or I get into a shouting match with our spouse, it wil not end up with someone getting a black eye.
Can you say that about our pals in the pub?
Take the time to look at her photo, and you tell me where you see her in 5 years. Maybe its time for YOU to wake up.
” I get the feeling that people dont read my posts “
I do! (even though, I’m still smarting from the petch I got from you on the YIBE tangle we had a while back)
But I must ask you: Why would you go to a book signing from a person like that? Presumably, you look like a frum Jew. Why lend credence to a scene like that with your presence?
Same thing “chassidish” means. (Only a different hat)
*trust* vs. *forcing*
So now she sees greener pastures? Sorry. She knew from the get-go what her share of the partnership involved. Had she gotten married in the 1800s, you could say she was misled.
I did not read the article itself, but its making a buzz in the neighborhood. While every defection is a loss, our retention track record is still very good. True, extremism is a bad thing, but 99.9% of chassidim (at least the Bklyn ones) do not live a life as draconian as she paints. She could have stayed on, if she wanted to. She wanted out, so she found an excuse.
And when Ms. Dropout gets to see what her shaygetz boyfriend looks like in one of his drunken rages, she will know what we all do: Orthodoxy (whatever the level) is still the way to go, if you want to live a healthy, productive and happy life.
I can’t speak for OA, (and I’m not a mother)but weight control is among my favorite topics. Please point me in the general direction, by giving me an idea of where things stand now:
* How much weight are you talking about? 10 lbs? More than 30?
* Is the weight of the parents under control?
* Any out of the “normal” stress that might be a factor?
* Is the food they eat store bought or home made?
“and suddenly notice what kosher food really costs”
Even funnier!
Flight, for sure.
Pinchus ben Elazar, without a doubt
I liked the content and message.
I was ok with the transliteration of the hebrew text on the seforim (even though I think its not necessary) but translating the titles into english was really too much.
(Still not sure what an Ad Loc is though. Radak or otherwise)
“when the chosson eats by the kalla”
” first shabbos with his new mother in law “
Funny!
Whats “ad locum”? (but I will take a serious look at your d’var torah)
“parents want more of this wonderful experience, not less”
Perhaps. But I see this as being in the same boat as a father telling his daughter, I love you, and in the next breath saying, “but if only I had a son” (And yes, I have heard that)
Or telling your spouse, “You’re terrific, but if only I had a 2nd one, our life together would be so much better, so much more complete.”
By saying you want more (over, and over again) the message is, what I have now is nice, but not enough.
Now, of course, I would never say this to a single person, nor to someone (hashem yirachem) that has not yet had children. For them, there is nothing but tefilos and shared pain.
But the implied pressure to have more that can be counted on one hand, and if you don’t you are somehow not living a meaningful life, that’s hurtful too. Perhaps not in the same way, but hurtful none the less.
I don’t have one, but can imagine how addictive it must be.
Good for you!
chocandpatience = You make a valid point. However, I’m voicing the opinion of people (myself included, as it happens) who are judged by the “numbers game”. I happen to be able to take it on the chin, and keep marching, but for others in the situation that I outlined, the pain is very real. And unfair.
m in Israel = Have you considered what child # 1 and 2 feel like, when they hear that “you 2 are not good enough, we need more, or we have acheived nothing”. In essence, that’s what the message is, intended or not.
trim = As to why I come to that conclusion, I’ve heard it.
Lastly, people think that infertility is a womans domain, and only women have a right to comment. Wrong. Its a couples domain, and the husbands have every right to their say.
As a husband, I have a right to speak. And if you must know, I DO know of such pain. Know who put me there? Pressure from folks that feel only numbers count.
The decision to pass or delete a post is always in the hands of the YWN staff. I wrote and re-wrote my post several times, before posting, to be as sensitivity as I possibly could. But the nature of the topic is so sensitive, no matter what anyone says, someone somewhere will take offense.
That being the case, I still tried as much as I could to be as sensitive as possible. And I stand by everything I said. Try for a moment to see things from another perspective:
* Couple A, married 7 years, has 5 children, with another on the way.
Due to the 5th degree that Mrs B is getting from her mother-in-law, her sisters, her sisters in laws, ect, she feels compelled to start on a very painful, costly and emotional road of treatments. Why? Because the pressure is on.
While I’m not presiding over a house of 10, I’m not a parent of an only child, either. Nor, am I a woman, so perhaps this is something a man cannot understand.
I know several couples who are still waiting to be blessed, and my heart breaks when I see them.
That said, the term “secondary infertility” garners zero sympathy from me. I think it is very selfish for someone with one or two children to equate themselves with someone who (loi uhlainu) has no children. To want more children? That’s a wonderful thing. To think there is something wrong with you as a person, or somehow you let your spouse down, because you “only” have 2 kids? That (IMHO) is uncalled for.
The number of children are not a scorecard, by which you are measured. How good a parent /spouse is what you are judged on.
“I thought nobody has money anymore”
That’s only what we tell the tuition board. And the case worker.
But in reality, its party hardy!
The buzz on the street is, its a very upscale place, with high end foods. Think: standing rib roast as opposed to chuck.
The Pomegranate of BP. And yes, they will accept the EBT card 😀
” Three Guys From Brooklyn “
Your line was even funnier!
Why go to Bklyn? Go straight to Lakewood, and cut out the middle man (or woman, as the case may be)
Top spots:
1) Crazy House
2) The Irv
3) JFK, Terminal 4 (El Al, arrivals)
OK, JFK is not in Lakewood. But since you are going to be supporting your new hubby, you might as well pick him up from the airport as well.
Hatzlacha Rabbah!
I said it!
” there are guys who I set up multiple times ” = This I believe
” 44 diferent girls ” = Hmm, but ok, I’ll take the number at face value. But its still a stretch. Think about it: considering the available weeks / days a person can date (once you eliminate yom tovim, 9 days, ect)and the time it takes to check references, to date 44 girls you’re talking about a very busy scedule (unless it was over a 4-5 year period. Or the shidduch was suggested (so that counts as a “set up date”) but never followed up on (which in my mind, counts as zip)
“he was over the one hundred mark when he got engaged.” = Unless he dated for 5-6 years, I think this is in the realm of the other conquestes he no doubt claims to have achieved. Either that, or every name that he was offered (even if he stood a zero chance of her saying “yes” to a date) but he turned down, in his mind, he thinks he had “100 girls”
To that I say, “I coulda be a contender” Same lack of connect with reality. A date is a date if you go out and spend 3-4 hours with someone. To say that someone can meet 100+ people and not meet ANYONE that is a good match means one of two things:
* You don’t know what you’re looking for (and you’re wasting valuable time)
* You’re not telling people what you really want, so they keep setting you up with the wrong people (and you’re wasting valuable time .
I have posted the following quote before, but it is worth repeating. Its from Rav Pam, Z’tl:
“People ask me if I can introduce them to people that can help them find a good shidduch.
The 1st person I introduce them to is themselves”
” Good to know. “
Like I said in a post a while back, I’m fully convinced that at some point, our paths will cross in the real world. I just hope I recognize you, Lois 🙂
The goyishe velt suffers from other kinds of family shenanigans (ones which cannot be named here).
Since we have B”H for the most part eradicated those sorts of problems from our midst, we do the the next best (worst?) thing:
fight for silly reasons.
And join my club. We too have a segment of the family that is not talking to each other. Funniest part of all? Its not even about a huge ammount of $$….
ITS THE PRINCIPLE
(gosh, how many tears have been shed over those 3 words)
I have one. (But I’ll be banned from the CR if I voice it!)
“go out with a hundred girls”
I know you’re trying to make a point (and it is well taken) but to pre-empt the critics, please try to be more realistic with your numbers.
“BPT: Parents today are not teaching responsibility to their boys .They go to E:Y with a credit card and the father can tell all his friends that my son is in Brisk or other yeshivos.
“
To this, BK Shadchan, you are part right, part wrong.
True, I and my boys are very much a part of the “system”. The boys in EY, jockying for a spot in Brisk, cooling their heels for 12-18 months in another chaburah / yeshiva in the hopes that a spot will open up in AJ, the CC, the dira, the whole bit.
However, I (and several of my friends) are trying very hard to change the status quo. It does not happen overnight, and we are but a few voices screaming against a hurricane of louder, more visible voices.
But we are trying
I am with you all the way, BK Shadchan. The fire that needs to be lit under the seat of our boys is not the 22.5 ceiling that BMG wants to enact.
Our boys need to start hearing, “by 23-24, you need to be able to support your family, so your wife can take care your kids.”
I have said this before, but will repeat it as often as people wil listen. We do not have an ” age gap” we have a confidence / quality gap. Fix the gap, and the age becomes less of a factor.
Take it from someone who married young, married someone within 2 years of his age, and has decades of successful anniversaries to show for it. Know why? Becuase we WORKED towards our success, as opposed to being handed a monthly stipend.
Bumper sticker spotted yesterday in Flatbush:
“I love my kids WETHER OR NOT they make the honor roll.”
If this is your van, please honk!
“many people do not want to hear about a shidduch with a girl who did not go.”
Their loss. And serves them right, for being so narrow-minded. Not to worry; there are PLENTY of people (myself included) who are ready to think out of the box, and a girl without a seminary pin on her lapel is just as interesting (and in many ways, more so) than the girl that “did her year”.
Gawk at all the lux mansions. That’s what they are there for!
“the balding smelly flabby-and-showing-it female drivers.”
No doubt, you must be talking about Varsity buses <shudder>.
I would expect the drivers doing the Mesivta boy route to be,
Then again, if the shoe fits… 🙂
They ask you, “if you could be one animal (from Shir Ha’shirim, of course) which one would you be?
Its a terrific idea. Think about it:
The bus picks them in the dead of winter, its still dark outside, and its freezing cold. You could be greeted by a grumpy, unshaven guy (smelling of stale ciggarette smoke) who would rather be anywhere else but hauling a bunch of (equally) grumpy, unshaven teens, who would also rather be anywhere else, but on the bus.
Or they could be greeted by a cheerful, song filled “good morning!”, with the smell of spring in the air.
Which bus would you wake up for on time?
Fly out. If you are serious about her, its worth the $450.
I was going to use GAW and /or Soliek’s line, but I was not fast enough.
Ok, so I’ll go the serious route.
Ask, “Any progress on the XYZ project?” The answer will most likely be, “Uh, no not yet” (which means they forgot, or did not even start).
The next step is crucial. Say, “Is there anything I can do to help you move things along? I’m soon approaching the deadline (or whatever is an appropriate phrase to use, considering the job requested)
That way, it gives them an easy out, and you get to “remind” them without seeming pushy.
Vinnie. Hah!