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Its not that its uncommon, its just that few people know what they are called. They see them, but just don’t know the tech name for it.
The only reason I know, is because my first job was in a whse.
“one who is learning must compromise on looks”
No, New2thescene, that’s not what I meant. (in fact, I’m not even sure where I implied it).
But it is a good point you raise, so let me say this: Learning guys (and girls) should take pride in their looks. They should dress well, be in good shape and get nice, new things.
But they do not have the right to demand the same things that lawyers, data anaylists and PAs get. Not because they don’t deserve it; becuase they haven’t earned it.
And while they should take an interest in the way they look, the role models they should be following should be consistant with the lifestyle they proport to aspire to.
Last I checked, Marc Whalberg was NOT a ben torah, and Ms. Spears was NOT a BY girl. Therefore, they should not be the bentchmark by which the true toirah shteeb is measured by.
Capise?
BTW, Ronsr…. in all this, your line was almost overlooked. Very funny!
(But I think I’m the only one who got it, as few of us have ever done any warehouse work, so who would know what a dolly is?)
“when the Mechutanim do the drive-by..”
I thought about that. Luckily, I was crafty enough to give the shadchan the address of some snooty 17th ave mini-mansion as my own. By the time the mechutonim realize they’ve been duped, I’ll be knockin’ down l’chaims with my buddies!
Seriouly. That’s why I said, can my house be whipped into shape in 3 hours or less (BTW, it can). As soon as kids jump into the dating pool, I’m gonna be on my best behavior, all shiny and polished, 24/7.
Till after the last sheva brachos. Then its back to slobby / messy!
No, no, you guys are missing the boat by miles. What (I think) Sac is saying is, each of you have an element of someone that she did (or is about to) date, so with each layer that gets revealed in the CR, Sac sees someone she knows.
What she does not know yet, is that at the core of each of us, lies the same thing. Its just the wrapping thats a little different.
Even if you could, you’d never pick up the nuances, which is what you really need to sound like a Hassid. (otherwise, why bother?)
Only way I can see you learing the lingo is the way I learned it; (and no, it was not the language spoken at home)Start hangin’ out with the brothas (or sistuhs, as the case may be)and give it 12 months. If you don’t have it down by then, consider French.
See ya in the Shteeble!
“lazying around while yapping on the phone”
Of all things, you picked this? As it happens, my Mrs does a fair ammount of “yapping” but while doing so, she irons. We may live in a stable, but at least we step into the spotlight looking like royalty. Shidduchim, you understand.
WIndows are a a whole ‘nother story. Happens, but not too often.
Sorry, Blinky. Ok. I’ll give it till the end of the day and if no one gets it, I’ll start dropping hints.
I saw this thread earlier in the day, but could not give it the time or response it deserves until lunch time (this topic deserves more than just quick quips).
As the parent of teens, I salute you, Eclipse, for the koichos you’re putting in and assure you, it won’t be for naught. You may not see instant results, but a mother’s love is never lost.
One thing I was told in my earlier days was, no matter what, be sure you kiss and / or hug your child each night before they go to sleep. Unconditional love penetrates really deep!
Hatzlocho rabbah, and may you be zoicha to see nacahs from this child and her children, b’korov mamash!
And if Hencha is the name you go with, why not call the girl Henny? That’s pretty 21st century (No advise at all if Genendle is the name you’re contemplating)
Bracha Channa, huh? That makes 2 of you I know (and the 1st one is a real pistol, too)
Funny you should mention this. I just walked this week from BP to Flatbush. BP is notorios for ignoring people they don’t know, but Flatbush was really very warm. Not to say, “Good shabbos, come on for kiddush”, but a quantum leap from the steely eyed poker faces I passed in BP.
Maybe they were being nice to me cause they knew I’m from OOT
Don’t take it too literaly. Unless you’ve shed 50 lbs (or just put on 50 lbs) people will just say “oh you look like you’ve lost weight” becuase they know that everyone loves to hear that. Besides, who among us is not on / going on / planning to go on / just getting off a diet?
(P.S. You look fabulous, regardless of what the media is saying)
Shows what I know, Goq. I thought you meant to write BOOK (but had a type-o and it came out as nook).
Wow, am I clueless. I really need to get out of the CR more often
No, there I disagree. Its not that “you don’t know anything” its just you don’r realize how your day (and week) spirals out of control, once you have an extended family (beyond the one you currently have)
You also don’t realize how much you’ll relish time spent away from the drudgery of housework, if it means time spent on things that bring a smile to your family’s face.
My mom has a fridge magnet that says, “don’t marry someone you can live with. Marry someone you cannot live without.”
How can you compare that to clean windows?
Messy house? No, of course not. But should each day off be spent cleaning? No, not that either.
The bentchmark we aim for is this: can we whip this place into shape in 3 hours, clean enough that we could have someone come over on short notice and not be embarrased? Then its clean enough. Can we perform open heart surgery on the countertops? Its too clean.
95 y/o? We REALLY gotta watch what we say around you. The smallest thing could give a geezer like you a coronary, and would’nt that be a CR bummer.
But tell us, what was the CR like in the days before electrcity? Oh wait, 95.. forget electricity. What was it like before coffee was discovered?
A nook at B and N? WOW, that is a nice gift!
When I go, I need to take whatever seat is available (lucky you, Goq!)
Whew! What a relief. At least you bake. Lucky him. With time, he’ll corrupt you into allowing the urge to clean to pass and spend more time living life in the slobby lane.
Freudian slip, but still a very telling line. I passed by a house on OP this weekend and realized that when I said I wanted a pony, what I really meant was…… (anybody care to finish the sentence?)
Great idea, Chesed!
This is why the GS threads are so much fun. It gives people a chance to speak their mind, and gives us a chance to see what makes them tick.
So, Sac.. since you bit first, lets start with you:
Again, there are no right or wrong answers.. only your answer.
Correct me if I’m wrong. Isnt the dating process supposed to be a “test run” for how the marriage will play out down the road, no?
Open the door? Like the Valet guys in the neon windbreakers? Gee, and here I thought washing the dishes motzio shabbos was what earned me a star on the mitzvah yingle chart. Has I known all I needed to do was open the car door, I coulda spared myself a nasty bout of dish-pan hands.
Silly me.. I shoulda checked the CR first!
I agree with Trying (his?/her?) Best.
Even if you are talking to your own gender, other genders rerad your posts, so its important to keep the info as squeaky clean as possible.
In addition to gender considerations, there are ages and marital statuses other than your own that read the posts you make, so its best to stay on the safe side.
This thread has fallen off the table, so let me jump-start it:
This is an off-shoot from an earlier thread that had a (way too big) emphasis on house keeping. So let me ask this:
Your home is relativly clean (no sticky counters, no piles of dishes in the sink, no mold growing in the fridge, ect)
Meals and / or work are under control
Kids /spouse are due home from school /work in 60 minutes
But the windows have not been washed in 30 days.
Do you:
Wash as many windows as you can?
Wash windows for 30 minutes and then tackle something else?
Sit down / take a nap for a hour, becuase you deserve it?
Bake cookies so there’s something yummy to come home to?
There is no “right” answer. Only “your” answer.
So? What of it?
Oh, WIY, you single guys are so temimustig. You need to get out more often!
I wish I would have spent more time with / calling my parents when they were younger, especially my mother. Nothing bring her more joy than telling me her day’s events in detail, even if it takes 20 minutes. I know other people can talk to their mother for an hour every day, but I never mastered that level of patience.
I’m trying to do catch-up now, but thats what I’d do differently.
I’d love to join, Eclipse, but I’m still working on my “kriyas shemah shel mitta, from a siddur” kabbolah, and I’ve still got a ways to go there.
But you picked a great idea!
New2the scene –
I did go back and re-read your posts (plus the new ones)
You are not the target of my anger. In fact, you and I are on the same side of this issue. The boys I have issue with are the ones that are not taking the responsibilites of earing a living as seroiusly as the girls in shidduchim are. Therefore, they should not be complaining.
You, on the other hand, are taking your future responsibilites VERY serously, and while that does not give you a licence to complain (Don’t feel bad, I don’t have one either) more of your focus should be on who the person is, and less about what does she look like.
ON the whole, girls in shidduchim are very presentable. Focus on the person, not the packaging.
“Years subscription to Sports Illustrated. Baseball/Basketball/Hockey/Football tickets.
Bourbon/Scotch/Wine of the month club. iPhone/iPod/iPad. Barbecue grill. Poker set. Over-night trip.”
Oooh, do I envy your husband. Especially the “be creative” part.
Boy, do I envy him!
“I wonder if that applies as well to the wicks from the Shabbos lights”
I think the reason people took to the menorah wicks above shabbos wicks, is that its only once a year, so they can be big about it. Ditto for the lulav.
Speaking for myself, there’s also something comforting about the close of one yom tov being the precursor to the next one (like, for example, when I’m saying the last al haninsim, I’m thinking ahead to purim. It keeps me going)
” Why dont you just toss it? “
You, the massive Brisk-ette?.. I’m surprised you did’nt suggest that they need to be burnt beyond recognition.
Toss them, indeed 😮
Not that it will end up happening…
Ditto.
“In my yeshiva, it was rare to find someone under 23 who was married”
Good point. But of the 24-25 year olds that did marry, how many of them did so to girls within 2-3 years of their own age?
Thanks, WIY. You’ve mentioned The Shmooze before, but since I don’t have speakers at work, I’m a little stuck.
The vort? I got it on-line from torah.org, and have been carrying it (and 5 other tear offs) in my wintercoat since the early 2000’s.
I really gotta do some house-keeping!
A loyal friend, and one who always tried to be optimistic, and be happy with the shefa I was blessed with. (But I’m not waiting for 120… I work on this goal every day!)
That, and the Bently parked in my driveway.
I read something a while back, on the part where Moshe is standing at the sneh, and Hashem tells him, “Take off your shoes, because the ground you are standing on is holy”
However, prior to that encounter, nothing of any notable significance happened there. So what makes it holy?
The answer given was, whenever and wherever a person realizes the his mission in life, and seizes the moment to move forward with that mission, thats the threshold of holiness.
Oh, and I don’t see this story ever going the mafia (or the other reason men fly the coop)route.
Motty decided to fly over to EY for a Yarchei Kallah, and he’s so “arainn’getune” in the sugya, he forgot to call home!
C’mon people, we’re talkin’ Riva Pomerantz here.. not Robert B Parker.
Relax Poppa, its not like someone’s carrying the mag (only a BPer would get the joke)
The law of getting caught – when you’re doing something right, no one is there to see it. When you’re doing something not so right, the press is there to report it!
“a soft,calm,endlessly-patient woman’s voice “
That, and the Brittish accent, which makes even the most mundane things sound so intellegent!
No, I’d block the neiiigh-bors driveway (get it.. neiigh)
I’m sure Blinky will get it
(and I’m about to get a potch from my fellow BPer who does’nt share my sense of humor when it comes to blocking driveways)
Strange for a woman to show up to a new shul? Ok, maybe for a 19 year old, but for someone who is 22-24, this should not be such a hurdle.
Still, my Mrs (who is way more than 24) will not go to a shuir without a friend, even though they are there to listen and not to talk. I guess its a woman thing. Either way, days one thru 10, you might be viewed with suspicion, but after a few weeks, the open minded people will see that they are dealing with someone who is stable and personable. And no, you will not convince each and every person. But those people are not the ones you are concerned about. Focus on the ones who do take an interest in you (or her, if someone else is reading this) and let Hashem work His magic.
Besides, from what I’m seeing here, the traditional shadchan route is very crowded, very competitive and very fustrating. And seemingly, very hard to get noticed in the tumult.
Def time for a new way of tackling this issue.
A pony would make very very happy! (seeing as I already have the tools, pens, ties, cufflinks, ect, ect, ect)
“If you’re not Chassidish, you’re out of luck with BP Rebbitzins”
# 1, why limit yourself to BP shuls? Kensington is under 30 minutes away, and there are numerous shuls I can think of there. (two right off the bat are Foster and Seton and the one on OP and Bay Parkway. Don’t know all there is to know about them, but they seem warm enough from the few times I’ve been there)
# 2, What about R’ Brody on 51st street? Or Emumas Yisroel on 16th? Ok, maybe the rebbetzin of EY is not the right person, but there has to be 10-20 women there on a shabbos that will take an interest in a newly arrived girl, if she shows up pretty consistantly. I mean, they have a brigade of girls that cut up cake for keddashim.. you’re gonna tell me they don’t have a team of well meaning and ready to help 40+ year olds to mentor single girls? Ok, you won’t walk in on day 1 and get bombarded with offers; but give it a few weeks and you’d be pleasantly surprised at how effective an idea this is.
And hedge your bets. Pick 2 shuls and alternate so you get maximum exposure without being all over the place.
And while working is a great thing, she needs to take off some time for herself. If the traditional track hasn’t worked, its time for some fresh air.
I got it! (not right away, but I did get it)
Good question, Wolf. Here’s our take:
I try to keep up with the 10% goal over the course of the calendar year. For example, March (right before pesach) is when I give a fair ammt, but June-Aug tend to be a little softer. But the income keeps coming, so every now and then, I’ll run a subtotal to see how much I need to give to close the gap, and then think of who / how much to give so I can catch up.
Mrs. BP takes 10% right off her paycheck on the day she gets paid and keeps in in an envelope for the tzedoko auctions and parties she goes to over the year.
Small ammount that are given in shul during davening are not as systematic. If I have, I give. If not, I dont.
One thing I do try to do, is show my kids how much I’m giving and what my reasoning is so they can begin to delevope a sense of judgement of their own. I also show them that if in 2009, I gave xyz $100 and abc $50, but in 2010, abc has a much more pressing need, I’ll switch the alloaction. Its not an exact science, but at least it gets them thinking.
“I practically live on gum! “
Let me guess, Blueberry… you can produce one of those multiple bubbles, that go pop-pop-pop-pop all while inside your mouth, right?