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No, but my guess was, it was understood as a categorization of how “they” dress, when its only a portion of the crowd that dresses that way.
However, since the word made it past the mods, maybe that was not the crusher, so gimme back that trophy!
“And a 30 year old should jump in?”
No, of course not. But after several years of dating, you should be able to look just beyond the surface and see a person for what they really are.
True, you never really know until you’re married. But at 20? What could you possibly be using as experience?
” bp totty is talkin from lots of experience “
More than you can imagine. And if I may suggest… consider getting a new screen name. It really doesn’t suit you
I thought the final straw was the line, “funky, in a ______ sort of way”
(don’t wanna say the name, as it might get GS4 shut down!)
“with a good word to someone here and there”
Good thing you have your protective gear on. I would not underestimate the scope and meaning that a well written post can acheive. True, many of us are just passing time here, but imagine this senario:
Its 2:00 am (or 2:00pm, for that matter) and you really feel like no one truly understands what you’re going thru.
Then, lo and behold, there’s a thread that seems to be on the same topic as the one you’re wrestling with, and after reading a few dozen posts, you realize you’re not the only one in this boat, and while you may not be able to get yourself out of the jam right this moment, you get the 2nd wind you so desparatly need to face another day.
Think its far-fetched? I don’t.
I was going to start a new thread called the “Dubious Distinction Awards”, but since so few can be given out, I figured this is the place for it.
This week’s award goes to Sacrilege for posting a comment so outrageous, it shut down a thread.
Congrats, Sac!
(I was almost the winner last week, but instead of shutting down, I was just deleted, and the thread kept going, so close, but no cigar.)
LOL! Classic.)
I had funnier ones, but I doubt the Mods would have let them thru.
V’hamavin yovin!
“however i am not yet 20 years old!!!”
Then please, calm down.
Ditto. Don’t jump into something because you’re in panic mode. Marraige is not like choosing a dress or pair of shoes. True,it needs to fit, and it needs to suit your taste, but is extremely difficult to exchange.
Take a deep breath and be patient.
Jealous? Of what? I have almost everything I need, and even some things I don’t need.
OK, I don’t have a Learjet, nor a Porsche. But for $2000, I can fly just about anywhere on the planet, and for $700 / mo, I can lease a really nice car. The car I have now is half that price, and is still in the top 20% of my neighborhood. So what do I have to be jealous about?
Kids and wife are better than a joe average like me can ever aspire to, so what should I be jealous about?
Health? General appearance? Clothing? All A-OK.
House? I have more rooms than people, a place to go to in the summer, and the kids are in camp (some working, some still on the payroll)
So what could I possibly be jealous about?
There is one thing. I really wish I could grasp a blatt gemorrah like some of my friends can. And I really wish I had the “zitzfleish” to pack in 2 hours of learing, and wish I could spend another hour, if time permitted.
So I guess I really do envy others!
No. At work, I mostly drink water.
The one cup of coffee I have, is at home, in the morning.
My response:
B”H better than expected (which is really the way I feel about things)
” a yiddishe goyta. “
That brings to mind one of the funniest quips (true or otherwise) that I heard a while back.
A bocher was trying to explain to the shadchan what he was looking for in a spouse. As you can imagine, his checklist contained things that could not possibly co-exist in a human being.
When he finally came up for air, the shadchan says, “so, what I’m hearing is, you’re looking for a shiksa, who’s machshiv toirah”
Too funny!
Lots of times. At home, I’ll say, “at work, we were discussing ect” (’cause Mrs. BP thinks the only forum worth commenting on is I’m a Mother).
With friends, I’ll say, “someone I know thru work mentioned ect”
Funny thing is, I’m pretty sure many of my friends and neighbors visit the CR. I’m surprised they haven’t outed me. Must be becuase THEY want to stay anon.
Oh well. As long as my mechutonim don’t spot me!
“i was in willy ..and noticed more of the .. ladies wearing full shaitels “
That’s the new face of Willy, and most likley on the outer edges. In the heartland (Ross, Hooper, Marcy, ect) you still see a fair ammount of Shpitzels, with braided double pony tailed daughers in tow
(yes, I know they’re called p-tails…Sorry.. I hate using the p word)
You are correct. Which brings to mind one of my favorite mishnas in Pirke Avos (I hope I’m quoting it verbatim):
“Da ma l’hashiv l’apikoros”; know what to answer the non-believer.
Not necessarily answer them. Just know the answer, so you can re-affirm your own belief and faith in Yiddisheit
BJJ –
Take it from someone who’s seen 40+ years of living; 99% of people have “baggage”. Some have health issues they are hiding, some have family members that are off tune, some have character traits that would sink the QE2, were they to come to the public eye.
Just be yourself and let your bashert find you. AND NEVER SETTLE! When the right one comes along, none of this will matter. I may not win any awards for looks, nor be guest of honor at a gala dinner, nor even have a parking permit to let me pull into a bus stop. But to my friends / family? I’m 24kt gold.
Think of yourself (and your future chosson) the same way, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
“out of touch and sound a bit jealous”
Huh? OK, lets take this apart slowly. Not because I’m trying to win you over; becuase just in case Memo is reading each post, I don’t want it to sound like I’m critizing her in particular. Its a general mind set that I have a problem with.
1) Out of touch – if expecting someone to work is called old fashioned, then you’ve got me pegged. A huge contributing factor to many of today’s society ills, is the fact that when the going gets tough, find someone else to do the job more to your liking. Barring a physical handicap, there is no reason a young couple cannot handle basic housekeeping, laundry, cooking, ect. And if she works full time? Wonderful! He does not. Let him pitch in bein hasdorim, the way he expects her to work and bear children. Marraige is about building a relationship. Helping one another is what solid relationships are built on. Why deprive yourself of this, especially in the early years of your marraige?
2) Jealous – no, I pity them. Kind of the way I pity folks that haul off to a hotel for Pesach, even if it almost a tie for what it costs to make Pesach at home. What you gain in convenience, you lose in terms of Grandparents, community, ect.
If you’re talking about a clean-up crew to help after new apt. renovations, or work that requires skill / experience (like painting or floor scraping) that’s another thing. But regular domestic help for 2 people? Ridiculous.
And for the record, if I’m jealous about anything, its the young chosson’s ability to pack in 12-18 months of undisturbed learning. Not his $50 cleaning lady
Please do not use phrases like “my goyta” … They sound way too much like “my slave.”
A halbeh tzura, Homeowner. I’m more bothered by the term “my” as it smacks of “my neighbor, my mother, my rov, ect”
“My”???? Hashem yirachem! It should be “the”, not “my”.
I’ve seen toddlers kiss “their goyta” hello or goodbye, like its an aunt.
And to think, just 2 generations ago, they were shoving us into ovens. Or moving into our house.
No, I don’t think we need to be politicaly correct. Not me at least.
I’ve had situations like this before. What I usually respond with is; “true, there are some obnoxious, selfish, nasty people among us.
But can you honestly say, you’ve never encountered a polite, considerate, resepectful Jew? And would’nt you say, the nice ones far outnumber the nasty ones?
They rarely answer, but then again, I don’t expect one. I don’t need to convince them. I need to convince myself.
Can we stand some improvement? Sure.
Are we head and shoulders above the bulk of society? Absolutely!
Wow, Eclipse… you really know how to reach deep into the heart of a topic. Still, this is something that should be brought to the table every so often, so we all stay in line.
In all my posting memory, I can only recall making one wise-crack that hurt someones feelings. I realized just how bad it was, because when I apologized for making it, the person said, “yeah, I was v-e-r-y surprised over that comment.. not like you at all”.
This, from a person who is ususaly very happy-go-lucky, so for them to not say, “oh, that’s ok.. I know you were just joking (or something like that) I knew I had made a grave mis-step.
BTW If you’re reading this (and please don’t feel you need to post back), I’m still sorry. If its any consolation, as a result of that fiasco, I have stopped myself from making potentialy hurtful comments like that (and believe me, there have been recent threads that lent themselves to such comments) so as a result, you’re the cause of saving others from pain.
I got mine, becuase on a pre-Yom Kippur thread, I apologized for any,”caustic, mean-spirited” comments I may have made to anyone.
One of the mods came to my rescue and said I was being too harsh on myself, so as a reminder, I was listed as “never caustic”
I just hope I live up to that standard!
(And no, I don’t use the word “caustic” in regular conversation. It just popped to mind, so I used it inthe post)
Y’know? You’re right. If the couple can afford it, they should get someone else to do the unpleasant part of running a household.
But why stop there? Hire a surrogate to have the kids, someone to raise the kids, someone to <enter the job you dislke most>, and just be done with the whole messy affair. (uh, poor choice of words, perhaps). Then, the kids can hire someone to care for the elderly parents when they lose their luster and interest in Mom and Dad.
Why? I’ll tell you why in one word: responsibility. You chose to start a family.. finish the work you started.
I’ve got enough $ to hire people to do much of the domestic stuff we do at home. But its our family, and there is nothing physicaly wrong with any of us, so we do the work ourselves.
Becuase its our responsibility. That’s why.
yes. (and a tie on shabbos too)
“BP – didn’t u say once that you work from home?”
No. In fact, I can’t even log in from home. If I’m not here in the office, I’m not in the CR.
Our office is open, so if the trains are running (which I expect them to be), I’ll be here.
“but that doesn’t cut it…”
Why wouldn’t a teichel or a hat cut it? Its got to be more comfortable than a sheitle, surely more economical, easier to match to an outfit, and if anything, its even more tnizusdik.
Ok, less atttractive, perhaps, but high heels are less comfortable than flats are, yet no one complains about that.
Take your pick; comfort or glamour?
(I know which one I’d choose)
LAer and OfCourse –
Take it as a compliment that no one has formed a mental picture of you. It means (at least the way I see it) that you are being judged for who you are, and not for the way you look.
Many people are ONLY judged by their appearances, despite having way more to offer that meets the eye.
I could most likely go back and re-read a few weeks worth of threads and put together a rough profile on each of you (age, gender, hobbies, education, shul / brand affiliation, marital status, ect) but what would that prove?
Look at it this way; you’re most likely in the top 80% of the planet, and squarely within your peer group (as are most of us).
Isn’t that a fair description? If so, I’ve got you both pretty much right on target!
You’re avoiding the question, but that’s ok 😀
By the time I get back to BP, the snow will be a grey, slushy mess, so I don’t think I can join in round 2.
I’m pretty sure I’ll have work tomorow. I think the city will do its utmost to clean the train lines / major roads to take some of the heat off of last month’s fiasco
Unless you work for a school (which, if you’re so taking a snow day as a forgone conclusion, most likley is the case), be prepared for business as usual.
So, Blinky, what grade do you have?
have a pretty controlable, predictable scedule.
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!
Oh, cmon Wolf, it can’t be that absurd? I’m basing my guess on my own day. Anyone who can read / post with any degree of freedom (which we both seem to be able to do) should be able to control the mealtime scedule, and make time for 30-45 minutes of excercise.
Unless you’re in a hospital ward (which I sincerly hope is not the case)
I’m with SJS (and to some extent, Tzippi)
Why would a young couple need cleaning help? Unless you’re at 4-5 kids (all under the age of 6) if you need help cleaning, you need a whole lot more than cleaning help.
You need help. Period
“If you take strangers into your car “when you feel safe about it,” then why can’t your kids go into strangers’ cars whom they feel safe about? “
Cookie and Brisk –
Thank you for clearing that up.
The difference is, I’ve got 20+ years experience; they’ve got 2-3 years experience.
True, they need to learn at some point, but hopefully, its mostly by watching me and mrs.. and to a much lesser degree, by trial and error.
For the record, Mrs. BP follows Wolf’s guidlines, I follow them as far as getting into a car (but will pick up starngers if I feel safe about doing so.
poppa –
No excercise at all?
Nu? Someone with your level of sechel can turn this around in a matter of months. You know its important, you know how to do it, and the timing could’nt be better (the warm weather is only 10-12 weeks away)
From what I gather of your other posts, you’re in your mid-30s, and have a pretty controlable, predictable scedule. Getting in shape should be a piece of cake (pun intended).
Set your mind to it, and you’ll be in tip-top shape in no time.
I’ve not heard of it, but I can see where being away from home for a full year, under enormous pressure can make anyone lose their appetite.
Add to that, the need to be a size <whatever>, and the conditions are ripe for a crisis.
True, few things can stave off a clinical condition. But for most cases, going off with a good sense of self and frequent contact with / to home can be a huge source of emotional support.
That, and tefillos. Lots and lots of tefillos.
Its an indoor waterpark.
“you’re not setting a good example”
Huh?
Me too!
I cannot believe how good I look to the outside world.
(Blue eyes? Full head of hair? If only Mrs BP were that lucky!)
The one thing I DON’T have is a comb-over. I lost my chup ages ago, and just made peace with it. Probably what motivates me to stay in shape. Its the one facet of aging I can (to some degree) control
That is worth a lot, and very impressive.
But what has kept it off till now? Have you been counting points and living on 30 a day for the past 8 years?
You’ve got to have some sort of excercise routine. Got to.
No?
A full week away? Not until I retire. The logistics of kids and work make it too challenging.
Besides, I’m in the Catskills for the summer, plus I have off Sundays and legal holidays so that’s enough for me.
“scary!”
And probably useless. If they don’t change their eating habits, each time they attend a simcha (which in Willi, is almost daily) they will be miserable.
Excercise, choosing food carefully and portion control gives you the best of both worlds
BDE, Psach libi.
We had an elder member pass away a few months ago. It was after a long illness, but it was still a real shocker. He was a “laager yid” and the hespedim really hit home, so I can imagine what you feel like.
I think the week off is unnecessary, but I do think they should give a few (2 perhaps?) extended weekends, so people could go away from Thursday nite trhu Sunday nite.
“in the 40-year-old-man-sorta way”
but purina puppy chow in the 25 A++, super-cool “macher” sorta way?
I’ll say this much; the only thing that sets me apart from the 100’s of other people in my demographic is that I can still keep up with the 25 year olds. (so far, no beer belly.. bourbon is a low carb drink!)
Look-wise, I’m as ordinary as a slice of rye bread. And my glasses are 5 years old. (but even when I got them, they were a last year’s style).
And the accent? Its pure brooklyn. Base-bawl, chawk-lit, (but birds are still birds.. not boids)
Sorry, I left # 4 a bit unclear. The 50/25/25 guidline applies to your biggest meal of the day (like lunch or supper) Breakfast can be a single bowl of cereal (hot or cold) with a fruit cut up into the bowl.
And swap the danish for a muffin, when having the coffee, and the muffin should be one you made, not bought.
The 3rd meal (if you can’t keep to the 50/25/25 rule) should be as light as you can get by on, and suppliment it with fruit
My sons assure me that manincures are NOT the norm in their circle. They knew of one guy who had it done for his chasseneh, but that’s it.
And aftershave is also passe in the cirles they travel in
“defacing a symbol of another religion “
Ok, now I see your point. In this case however, the commotion was quiet, (and possibly even in Ivrit) so I don’t think anyone understood what was going on. Like I said, it was a long time ago, so I don’t have a total recall
I pick up people when I can / feel safe about it, but my kids have Wolf’s guidlines; never get into a car if you don’t know the people inside
It bothers me when preventable mistakes are not. (failing to insure a spouse, leaving kids in charge of responsibilities that are beyond their ability are on the top of the list)
My favorite kinda music (but in BP, we call it “gramen”)
I’ll work on this over the next few days