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“you would be amazed at how many people do not have a Rov they consider their Rov….and do not feel a specific kesher to the rov. “
As I’m amazed at how many people smoke. Not a sudden death, but surely not a healthy way to go thru life.
“what school or camp to send a child to”
And this, you would entrust to someone that does not know you / your family / your child on a personal basis? That would be like trusting a shadchan to choose a shidduch for you.
The only way to reach a determination of this scope (other that ruach hakodesh) is to know the people involved.
Asey l’cha Rav. Not my idea, but it appears to be a good one!
Lease. That way you can change cars as your needs change, and you avoid the hassle of trying to sell your old car / hang on to it (and pump in $$$) when the clunker is on its last leg.
Do yourself a huge favor. Take a lamaze class. It will prep you for what’s to come (delivery is nothing like it is in the movies)
Or we could alway have another round of bourbon vs. scotch discussion. That’s always a crowd pleaser!
Funny you should mention this, as I just read something in R’ Twersky’s haggodoh that may steer you in the right direction.
The “mah nishtanah” is about conflicting ideas. The matzoh and marror are about remembering the tough times, while the dipping and leaning are all about freedom.
So what are we trying to remember? The answer is, yiddishkeit is not always about “having all the answers, right away”. Sometimes, you need to have faith.
And take it from a 20+ year veteran; You are ALWAYS learning something new about your relationship with your spouse. Even after you think you understand them thru and thru. Its part of what keeps the game interesting!
R Blumenkrantz A”H remarkably, was always available to happily fill many peoples’ needs. Is that a problem?
Now, on to the rest of your post:
Tell me about it. But let me respond, one point at a time:
Thousands of people calling R’ Blumenkrantz all the time.
Certain situations where you cant call “your Rov”.
Shuls with no Rov (Rov passed on and wasnt replaced).
c)That is a recipe for disaster. How can someone function in this world without a Rov? If nothing else, just to get a feel for how he thinks, so you can draw your own conclusions and then decide on a course of action.
Rov is impossible to reach.
Shuls with Rovs who they look up to, but not enough for specific questions.
Ok, Of course – now let me re-answer. (The 1st time, I was on hold, and was just checking the CR for whats new)
How to pick a Rov? If I were new to the scene, the 1st thing I’d look for is who do my friends go to? And not so much as, who do they go to for the best heterim, but rather, whose shiur do they go to? Whose shul do they daven in? Does the Rov’s family (spouse, children, ect) mesh with who I am (or am trying to be)?
Picking a Rov is like picking a route. It gets you to a destination. Its a lot more than just “can I eat this, or how do I kasher that”. Its about how you (and your family) live their life.
I’d call my Rov (as should each of us do; call our own Rov).
There is no difference between a “major” issue, and a “minor” one.
“a lot of Jewish history there”
To be taken in, on a gondola ride?
Perhaps. But if it Jewish heritage I want, EY is the place to go.
Hardly. But to spend time separating / whipping egg whites, folding them into a batter, so it gets to be a extra 3cm tall?
Forget it.
a FRASK.
Whoa, Always.. I haven’t heard THAT since school days! Gosh I miss those chaddisheh melamdim.
The yardstick I like to use is: prep time should not exceed eating time. if it takes an hour to decorate a cake (figure a 10 serving cake) and only 5 minutes to eat, that’s too much time spent on looks alone.
I would gladly skip the cream and icing, and focus on the cake itself.
On the other end of the food chain, soup made from scratch will take about 20 minutes to make (figure the same 10 servings) will still take about 5 minutes to eat a serving, but the “potchke” time was mininmal.
Like many things, its the toichen vs. fluff battle. Toichen’s value is intrinsinc; fluff’s value is just that.
Don’t know how I let this thread go stale.
Its been a whole winter since I’ve seen my Fuji, but I’m pretty sure I have a Suntour fork.
Boy, Bezalel.. you really know your stuff!
Any time, Goq.
But if you want to eat like you’re on vacation, be sure to bring your own food. All we have now is 8 varieties of breadcrumbs and 4 shapes of pasta, plus the candy from shlach monos that no one wants to eat.
Pesach is coming, so we gotta deplete the inventory. First come, first served!
In a nutty way, every now and then I love getting the EDITED potch. It makes me look like a rebel!
Come to think of it, I’ll think I’ll go post something on the “nail polish” thread, just to see myself get whacked.
For the second time, does anyone know where the Boro Park Backup
Eruv is?
Forget the exact location, as its just that; a back-up.
If your rov tells you that you can carry from point A to point B, then do so.
Mine tells me I cannot, so I don’t. Backup eruv or not, and no matter how many rabbonim (and there are many) say its ok.
You did right, as hitching should be discouraged. No matter what the gender.
“Some(one) misguided them into thinking it is legitimate. “
I happen not to use the eruv, but for the record, there are numerous, very choshuve rabbonim who give it the green light.
That being the case, the backup eruv is meant to do just that; back up the “main” eruv. Most likley, it was done to prevent sabotage from downing the eruv 20 minutes before the zman.
And yes, there were people who did such a thing. I know, because I know. Fact.
If you carry, you have on whom to safely rely on. But, the people who give the heter on the eruv, have a whole host of things they are machmir on (things, that many of us would sorely miss, if we needed to choose a new hadracha).
All things being equal, I’ll stick to a 6 day carry week. The price for switching is too steep IMHO
Africa sounds good. I always wanted to bag Kilimanjaro. Then, on the way back, I’ll swing by Libya to see how things are on the ground.
Venice? Forget what the tourist photos look like. I know someone who went for real. The canals are open sewage trenches (yuck)
I had something similar, where I made an off hand comment, and the person (thinking that I KNEW) spilled more details than I needed to hear.
Oops!
Bas Yisroel’s age? That’s obvious… she’s 94!
If you rely on the Eruv, you can rely on the backup.
I am told I look like someone in Toronto. When I saw the photo (he’s a public figure), it was uncanny. Not an exact copy, but I could see how the match could be made.
(So far, we have not met face to face)
MY brothers helmet saved his life… it’s a long story
Kishke – Please post the story. It something we all need to hear over and over again
“I think you gave a lot of details about the mother,which may identify her.”
Yeah, her and 100s of other moms by proxy. Welcome to my world!
“so how do you guys do it?”
We get married and raise a family. There is no better policeman than your spouse or your kids to make sure you stay in line.
They know and see every move you make.(the good and the bad)
You did the right thing.
Normally, I could care less about neglectful parents and how they mis-manage their kids (poor diet, lousy middos, ect) but bike riding has a special place in my heart.
The only thing I would have added to the 1st mother is that I’m going to call Child Services and report the fact that the kid is riding unsupervised, and without a helmet.
THAT gets their undivided attention. Not becuase they care about the kids.. but becuase it might affect their benefits.
Lately, I’ve been describing myself as “flexidish”.
Means everything and nothing, but it has a catchy ring to it!
In retrospect, I’m kinda glad to see that I’m not getting the votes.
This way, I can stick to what I do best; writing targeted op-eds, and blog posts, which (as we all know) runs the political process, without all the oversight.
Now then.. who wants to win an election?
Yeah, I agree with Derech HaMelech.
Still, if that’s what it takes, try this:
Will you marry me?
Waste of 5 sheets of paper, but rules is rules.
Let us know if the other party accepts!
“Would anyone like to make any snarky and judgmental comments about our Pesach plans?”
No. Clearly, in your case, the need to go away is imperative, and syata d’shmaya will see to it that you / your family will have a chag kosher v’sameach, and a refua shelema!
The snarky comments are aimed at the folks who, well you know who those folks are. And if you don’t, lucky you! (I do…Bklyn has loads of them)
” anyone else??? “
I can’t afford it (as I’d only want to go to a $10,000 place).
Besides, even I I could afford it, and you were at the same exact hotel, I would’nt see you. In fact, I would’nt see anybody.
I’d be too busy looking in the mirror
“As such, why is he so concerned about Pesach hotels and not any other situation? “
There are a few differences:
The other scenario I did not mention (but happens) is this:
The hotel agrees, months in advance, to a certain number of mashgichim / guest ratio, which impacts the number of meals / hours they need to work. When the bookings are done and the guest arrive, the number of guests are FAR MORE than anticipated, (and the meal output / kitchen hours) are far more than the initial number of mashgichim can properly supervise.
What to do? Turn guests away? Close the kitchen? Let the show go on?
Like I said, its not a guarantee that these things will happen, but it is definitely a roll of the dice.
Lia makes several good points. I know a handful of hotel goers (both staffers and guests).
Some are alone, and this is the only normal option.
Some are working, so that’s obvious.
Some are very rich, also self-explanatory.
But no matter what the reason, understand this: no matter how good the hechsher, no matter how many promises the hosts make, you are compromising on the kashrus you could have had at home. Not pure chometz at the seder c’v, but chumras (like not using things that fall on the floor, only using things that are peeled) or bigger no-nos (kitchen staff not washing their hands /brushing their teeth after eating their pure chometz food, Uncle Milton bringing to the dining room “his own knaidlach, ’cause the one the hotel makes give him gas”, and then taking Uncle Milton’s plate back to the dishwasher and giving it to YOU the next meal)
All those things, are part and parcel of the hotel experience. Sounds far-fetched? Ask someone who’s been there.
“wear a big yarmulka and black hat as they are led into the police precinct (and court if necessary) joyfully singing “Moshe Emes V’Torahsai Emes”,
And if they need to spend a day or two in Rikers? Oh, will they sing!
Bochurim – Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time. And forget askonim; even if they take an interest in your case (which will depend on who you are), even 10 minutes in the pen can be a lifechanger.
Stick to the seforim, and let the consumers fight the billboard battles
“Sometimes its just not the right time for you to get married, its not even a matter of hishtadlus. “
I know. What I meant was, sometimes it looks as though a person is not married yet is because of “this reason” or “that issue”, when you look (and I mean, really look) at people that are already married, you see that, despite whatever “shortcomings” they might have (and trust me, we ALL have them) we still got married.
In fact, after a few years, those very “shortcomings” turn out to have very little,if any, impact on the day-to-day success of the marraige.
At any rate, considering all the tefilos that were said this Purim, this thread will be looked back on, with a sigh of nostalgia!
The time to have the $ discussion with the Lakewood kids is not when they are 3 years into the game.
Its when they’re in HS.
Ask my kids: How long / how much is your father going to support you?
Answer: 2 years, at the rate of monthly tuition.
They know it, my mechutonim will know it.
That’s what I can live with, and I think its quite fair. And as long as its known upfront, the happy couple can make their plans accordingly
(And If they think I’m bluffing, they’re in for a surprise. I’m not)
How’s this for encouagement:
Look at today’s married folks (5+ years)
If they can do it, anyone can!
“Perhaps the sign was targeted at the students”
I (paritally) take back what I said.
Gittayid, your “melamed zechus” is something to behold.
Ok, so maybe its not H/M at the wheel, but my point still stands; the ad was placed in BP after long, hard deliberation.
We (BP) have no one to blame but ourselves.
Ta and Ma
Won’t comment on the actions of the bochurim, but I will say this:
If H and M pays for a billboard in BP, its because they know the BP market is one of theirs.
And from what I see (both in BP and Midtown), their market research is right on target.
Since you mentioned BYBP by name, did anyone see the full page ad in Hamodia announcing that all is well and the ship is not sinking, and the school is not closing.
They have a new board (no names listed), they have a Rabbinical advoisory board (these names, they listed). No mention of what chnaged in the $$ dept, though.
And to think, we were worried they were gonna fold. (yeah, right.)
3 months? Are you kidding?
Miss 3 days, and you’ve missed the boat.
Where you been? The moon? EY? In the witness protection program?
I’d rather be Govenor, so I can pardon 600kb, (and anyone else that finds themselves in the pokey)
Well said.
Its not my own; the quote is an old one;
Qualtity workmanship doesn’t cost.. it pays!
Good point. Still, I feel the better way of dealing something you don’t agree with is to voice your opposition to it. Not is a scathing letter to the editor, not by name calling. Just by stating your point of view.
You may not be able to win over the opposition, but you may be the voice that brings someone who is undecided over to your side.
A while ago, there was a thread (unrelated to this subject) the OP posted his question, the CR folks gave their two cents, and that was almost that.
I say, almost that, because the tone with which (for the most part) the CR people answered in, left (IMHO) the op with the distinct feeling that his question, and his presence was appreciated.
Now, today’s topic may have been over the top (if only I knew what it was?) and true, some of the posts may not have been nice and polite.
So is that the way you want to leave a running commentary? With such a sour note? No, I think the thing to do is, sit yourself down, think thru your response AND POST YOUR TAKE!
Yours just might be the opinion that the undecided folks go with.
Why stop at frum? Know how much it costs to get / stay married? Raise kids? Eat more than bread / water?
Good things, worthwhile things, in life cost money. Things needed to be Frum are no different.
It doesnt “cost”… it PAYS!
“it’s what other people write that is NOT being edited”
Can someone clue me in as to what this is all about? I mean, what in the world could have slipped past the censors that is SO radical, that people are choosing sides over.
Did I miss something?
I’m surprised the “tied to the tree police” haven’t gotten after me yet.
Still, given the choice of braving the crowds at Woodbury or facing off with Gentle Ben’s not so gentle cousins, I’m not sure which one I stand a better chance at…