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” do you cycle to work? “
Yes, whenever practical, and weekends as well. Over the summer season, I log close to 100 miles a week. But have (so far) only gotten into 1 shouting match with a driver (she started, so I fired back)
And so far, no tickets. I don’t project the attitude that irritates cops and drivers, so for the most part, I have / cause little grief when on the road.
And to all the bike haters out there (ban the bikes, rip out the bike lanes, ect) most cyclist are car owners / drivers, as well (not to mention, tax payers) so we have the same say as you do
As an avid cyclist, I can tell you that some of us can get quite nasty. (I’ve seen cars whipped with the bike chain, leaving a memorable dent).
Still, for the most part, we and the car drivers get along pretty well. We try to stick to specific streets and drivers know to give us space on those few blocks.
And FYI, we are just as at risk of getting a ticket, and paying the same price, for “car like” offenses (running red lights, switching lanes without signaling, ect) so, like or not, we have the same rights to be on the road as cars do.
Here’s a novel idea:
Only undertake the number of responsibilites that you can safely and efficently handle. Which means, if you (or your spouse) are only capable of dealing with so much, don’t agreee to do that, plus another 3. To do otherwise, is a sure way to have something (or someone r”l) get overlooked.
V’hamavin, yovin.
Sorry to hear about the way things worked out, MP. I try to be optimistic about things like this, but when its over, its over.
Dust yourself off, and get ready for the next round. 15 days in Av is right around the corner, and is a big shidduch time.
Yours will come. Learn from the recent experience and be ready to move forward.
” Pop Rocks and Coke? ”
No, Mentos for sure, maybe 7up instead of Sprite.
Pop Rocks? Wow, I haven’t had those in ages.
Have him grow a trimmed beard, and his remaining hair short. (Since hair loss is an issue, I’m guessing that shaving does not present a problem)
But whatever he does, do NOT allow a comb over. That is a huge no-no.
“as much as he truly WANTED to feel it, there was no real chemistry on his part”
Oomis –
From your kid, I’ll accept this at face value. Why? Because while he might have been able to fool the shadchan, I don’t think he’d be able to fool you.
” ..very disappointed in the CR that nobody got my funny story. “
How do you think I feel, that no one got my Mentos / Sprite joke?
It means he is ashamed to admit what his concern really is. Could be money, looks, afraid to commit.
Feel the chemistry? Gimme a break. His knowledge of chemistry is most likely limited to knowing what happens when you mix Mentos and Sprite.
Ms. Critique (and BP Girl for your reply to her post)
I read about your friend’s loss, and plan (bli neder) to write a proper reply to your post.
Boruch Dayan Emes, but there is much more that needs to be said about this. This is a loss to Klal Yisroel, in more ways than one.
Rice cakes and duck sauce (don’t worry, its pareve.. not real duck)
“it has never been as bad as it has recently.”
I guess I see what I want to see (or see others how I see myself)
At any rate, I’m all for more civility, so yes, we can (and should) change for the better.
All I ask, is that we give credit where its due.
Attend a job fair (you can google it, for something near your area) to see what is out there. Don’t just follow the trend, or whatever your sister / sis-in-law does. Not everyone needs to be a therapist or teacher.
Also, you can google “emerging job trends” or “jobs for the next 10 years” and see what reputable magazines like US News / Fortune / Consumer Reports / Business Week) have to say on the subject.
You might also check with a local college to see if they have a carrear counslor who can tell you what the courses they offer will prepare you for. They might even have a placement office, soyou can get an idea of where the graduates end up.
As a frequent poster / visitor, I feel the tone and content of the CR is, for the most part, in sync with what you would expect from a forum like this.
True, from time to time, there are heated debates, and sometimes, things get said that are later regretted (case in point, me), but within a short time, the ripples are smoothed over and apolgies are exchanged.
Is the CR perfect? No.
Does the occasional loshon horah slip past? Regrettibly, yes.
Do the mods /members do a good job of content managment? Yes.
Are we head and shoulders above the rest of cyberspace? YES.
” But you guys warmed my heart “
Just for that, I’m ditching the old 2×4
(and getting an smooth oak chair leg instead)
” With a baseball bat “
That’s what makes the CR such a joyful place.
And why I keep a 2×4 (with rusty nails in them) handy. Just in case.
Whoa, what an eye-opener. All this $$$ and effort for a gown you wear once?
The suit the chosson will wear will likely cost under $400, and he will wear it another 50 times.
Kinda makes you wonder….
Then again, women apply makeup before going to the gym, so I guess it does make sense
“when did Borough Park secede?”
We were excluded from the start. Hence, the lack of flags seen on American holidays, few (if any) to be found in shuls.
“Even after Mashiach arrives, we will still be doing mitzvos”
True. But its doubtful I’ll need an Acura MXD or a vacation home to do so.
Lucky for me, I attached to neither, so as I stated earlier, I’m ready as soon as I hear the shoifar blow!
I am, (but would not pass the citizenship requirement)
“BPT you are arguing on halacha”
“this argument is once again going in circles so hatzlacha… “
With this line, AZ effectivly ended the comversation, so I’m directing my comments to the CR as a group.
No, I’m not arguing halacha. I’m stating that for shadchan to demand such a large fee up front, they should be held to some sort of accountability. From what I’ve seen, there is no such expectation.
The way the system is set up now, its not much different than paying protection money to the mob. The weak links in the chain are exploited. And that is shameful.
Were the discussion what to pay a shadchan for a shidduch you are not happy with, that would fall into the realm of halacha. But to pay a high ticket fee, just because that’s what people feel compelled to pay if they want to get noticed?
I think not.
The deleted posts may have been part of it, but I think my post was the final straw. I followed it by (what I thought was) an apology, and expected a quick rebound.
That’s life in the CR. I’ve gotten my lumps, as have many of us. You take it on the chin, and come back swingin’
My wife was a stay at home mom, until the kids were off to school full time. (Then she worked to support her shopping habits:)
Seriously, when we were a one income family, we struggled. I have no idea how people make it on one salary only (unless the 1 salary is $200,000).
See what I mean, Goq? The replies (the funny ones and the serious ones) will tell you all you need to know.
Bass King Cole.. Funny!
Be Happy –
My car, house, clothes, line of work, ect are all things that I simply use to reach the goal I set for myself; building a family and racking up mitzvos.
Once Moshiach arrives, I’ll have no need for the tools. That’s when its time to see how well I scored.
“maybe you could translate it”
(from Google) All glorious is the king’s daughter within the palace.
Which is usually translated as “The honor of the princess (Hashem’s daughter / Bas Yisroel)is in the fact that she remains discrete. (its used most often in reference to tznius).
I’d explain my post, but that would kill the joke. Wait till more replies come thru, and it should become more clear.
“This is unrelated though, with the Kletzki connection being minimal and circumstantial.
Do you think a frum family Mag should steer clear of hashkafa grey-areas?”
Fair enough, Gruber Yung
(gosh, I wish you’d consider a new name).
I skipped the article the 1st time around, but will read it and see what it says.
That part of the posuk is up for discussion among the women in my family , but boy, have I had the 2nd part explained to me in detail!
Go to Klienfeld and get one custom made. You deserve it.
A – they can’t be. She works!
B – what I meant was, young couples are usually resistant to seeing (and learning from other people’s mistakes)
C – no comment /won’t go there (but not sure what I said that implied that
D – its too noisy over the weekend. The best pearls come to the surface when its quiet, and the men are in the city
Just callin’ it as I see it. And over the years, I’ve seen plenty.
“What has my transmission proven?? When it went it cost over 2 grand. same for a root canal. And did I mention the cost to redo a roof……”
To use the examples you list, your transmission, when done right, will give you years of reliable service, and taking it to a good mechanic (one who will stand behind the work that was done) commands a better price. Same goes for dental work. There is real overhead, real training, real results. And you can ask for accountablily, and be rightly miffed if you were mislead.
Is there such a concept in shadchannus? If there is, I’ve yet to hear of one such case. In the old days, substance was valued. Today, media spin is what gets peoples attention. And that is (IMHO) a disservice to the truly great boys and girls (and parents of both) who cannot come up with the artificial price tag.
“it’s okay for a younger couple to go to parents’ bungalow for the summer. Aren’t they still being exposed to many other “perfect” marriages?
What I meant was, since the young couple travels back and forth each weekend (and are not separated for the mid-week, like us older folks) the risks to a new marraige are not as present. As for seeing other “prefect marraiges” they are still so starry-eyed, they can see little else, so until year 5, they are missing all the cues anyways.
Plus, the real insights into other people’s lives only come to the surface during the week when husbands are away in city exile, and is then is promptly reported, in great detail on the weekend recap of “so, whats new?”
Something newlyweds dont get a chance to ask, as they are never apart for more than 12-15 hours at a time
Gruber yung –
If that was the article, I have no comment. The Kletzki story should (IMHO) stop being used. Its too painful, and short of making changes in the way we deal with our kids, should be left alone.
” it sounds like this must have been the topic.”
But its rapidly turning into a cholent thread. Which is a good thing!
Personally, I forgo Friday night cholent, but must admit, erev-shabbos potato kugel, is (IMHO) even better than Shabbos daytime kugel.
So, I ask all the nay-sayers, is this the talk of people with sholom bayis issues? Is this something that could be undone by a bumgalow? From the posts so far, I’m willing to bet that for the right wife, we would live in a cardboard box on the (screened in) portch, if that’s what it took to make the existing bungalow situation work (as long as the kugel was good, which it clearly is).
We are upstate for July / Aug because its worth the hassle. If things are on the rocks, it was not to bungalow that did it
I’m routinely overestimated by people.
But I do my best to set them straight as soon as possible!
“A langeh shaitel is far from a sign of someone being a Litvak.”
Yeah, and “Chasidvishe” is not the phrase that comes to mind either (the word I was thinking cannot be posted in the CR)
And I agree, the word “intermarraige” is mis-applied
“I am a Rabbi, not a modeling agency”
Great line! Ask him if you can post the name of the seminary.
I know a few staffers, and while Just askin’ listed much of the tech requirments, what was not spelled out (and I think bears mention) is that camps for special needs kids call for a level of emotional strength and patience that not every teen is capable of delivering.
You might be great at the rah-rah that standard camps need, but dealing with special needs kids calls for a whole different way of approaching life.
I’m not trying to talk you out of it. Just be sure its something you can handle.
“I definitely don’t think it’s the best way of starting a marriage.”
Most people don’t start going to their own place until they are married for about 4 years. (Going to your parents / in-laws place does not count, as that’s no different from the going over that’s done all year).
My comments were based on years 5 and beyond
” some places are even open for cholent at 3 “
3:00 am cholent will interfere with my pre-shacris coffee. No thanks.
modchebp –
“Getting to know us” in a few meetings and then using that as a basis for suggesting a lifeparnter? I think not.
And when anyone demands / pays the kind of money you are suggesting (even if one / both sides can afford it), it sets the bar too high for most parents to reach.
Truth is, I CAN afford it, but there is no reason I (or any other fine family) should pay it. Just becuase the “market conditions” have created a panic and buying / selling on fear?
Shame on us, if this is what we have come to. How’s this for an idea; lets do away with the “Best bocher / Best seminary mindset and start looking at our children like the children they are, and base our expectations on the reality as it truly is.
Not each us us are million dollar candidates. Despite what the shadchan tells you / says of you.