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“I don’t understand why it’s a problem for the boy’s mother to want the best possible girl for her son. How is that unreasonable?”
Most mothers probably are solely interested in the best interests of their son.
However there are some mothers who probably envision having a certain type of girl as a daughter in law and will be biased towards that type.
For example if a mother and her daughters tend to dress “trendy” the mother might be uncomfortable or embarassed to have a daughter in law who dresses out of style. She might be self conscious to take her dil to shul with her etc..
Her son might not care at all whether his wife will wear the latest styles or not.
Where does the tuition money that seminaries charge go towards?
Are actual costs and overhead really that expensive?
“I have seen laundry detergents thath ave hechshers even though they also warn against consuming them.”
In case you need to use your dryer to heat up your leftovers…
Although detergent is probably nosein tam lifgam…
What platform?
Everyone has different life circumstances. Some people are being good jews by being in kollel and some are being good jews by working. Only G-d can judge who is doing what is right or wrong.
In general no one should ever feel better or worse than anyone else.
In response to the OP.
Even if his kids went to public school he couldn’t afford a house Brooklyn. He would save 16k a year. Assuming a house in Brooklyn is at least 750k (probably much more in reality) with a down payment of 150k, it would take over 9 years to save up for a down payment using tuition savings. Even if he had some money saved up already it would still take a while.
I am unsure if tuition is the problem that he needs to address.
That being said I do not want to be insensitive to anyone who is struggling to pay tuition and I do recognize that it is a tremendous expense for a jewish family.