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There is nothing wrong with texting, so i would say no, it hasn’t gotten out of hand.
toi- that was a very nice description of most yeshiva guys’ fridays. thank you for telling us!
(it was realistic, i’ll give you that…)
this is a very serious issue and i wish u much hatzlacha.
i just want to take issue with the first sentence in the thread, where u state that a frum yid should never embarrass his father in law or father in public, and i just wanted to point out that a frum yid should never embarrass anyone in public except to prevent chillul hashem.
Anyone who doesn’t understand the need for bein hazmanim falls into one of 2 categories:
1) People who, because of their gender or upbringing, never attended a full time post high school yeshiva, and therefore don’t understand that learning torah actually tires you out emotionally and saps your strength of will to continue to push to do the right thing. If people wouldn’t have bein hazmanim, many of them wouldn’t only “burn out” in terms of learning, but they may also even “burn out in other matters of ruchniyus, ch”v. A person with his priorities straight, in most cases, should be able to push himself to learn the whole seder, every seder, for an entire zman, but still will at some point reach the point of diminishing returns, where more time spent learning actually detracts from his ability to keep learning and doing mitzvos. That is where bein hazmanim comes in, and the boy will have time to recharge his drive to learn and still learn a few hours a day while “on vacation.” (vacation from yeshiva, not from mitzvos. helping at home is very important).
2) People who, because of their unusual and special kochos, actually don’t need bein hazmanim. These people are very rare, and they should take advantage of their time during bein hazmanim to learn as much as possible, possibly topics that they don’t get the opportunity to learn during the zman. They should definitely not be wasting their time in the YWN coffee room. (They also should help out at home as much as their parents want them to. It is good for their middos, good for their marriages IY”H, and also the right thing to do. But when they aren’t busy with Kibbud Av Vaeim and Yom Tov preparations…)
The only people I didn’t cover, except those who love bein hazmanim the way it is, are those who are full time learners who are ALMOST in category 2), but not fully there. Those people might say that bein hazmanim is too long, and for themselves, they are right. But they should put aside more time than average during bein hazmanim to learn, and, more importantly, they should realize that they are special and that other people do actually need all the time they get. (Since they understand the need for some break, they should be able to comprehend how some people need the a little more time than themselves).
good point, slave
“Whether or not… or not, I have one pet peeve that I need to share.”
whether or not your point is valid, I have one pet peeve that i need to share. It makes no sense to say “whether or not… or not,” please say “whether or not…” or “whether… or not.” (I have a friend who’s a bit of a kanai about this, and its annoying, but he’s right).
cherrybim: they can do that, or they can participate in all of these fascinating threads in the CR
Good for him!
I have nothing against chassidus, but you need to be a kanai when it comes to saying things that seem like kefirah. (even if they didnt mean that when they wrote it, it is still inexcusable to allow something like that to be published without at least doing your best to let people know that you dont approve)
You poor thing!
Yes, tina, it is. the gemara in bava basra says that tzedaka collectors get more schar than tzedaka givers. not to mention that i have personally been thanked by many baale batim when i asked them for donations. (although i’ve been yelled at by a similar amount of baale batim)
good point about society, mom12. The world could use some more moms like you.
cinderella: its worth getting there early enough to have time for donuts…
The halacha states that one must use a liquid when cleaning oneself from excrement. It says that paper is not good enough.
I would assume these women are out of it, maybe because they are distracted, like mytake said, or maybe they really are genuinely out of it people.
We are obligated to be dan them lkaf zechus, and its definitely closer to a zechus to be a spaz than to be a selfish or rude person.
My first time in a city with krispy kreme, I only knew one person in the city, and he kept cholov yisrael. So i bought a dozen and ate them myself. (true story)
Slave: even though you agree with my side of the argument, i have to disagree with your idea. While collecting may be good for some people’s middos, i would just like to point out that some people do not benefit from collecting. I know people who have had serious gaavah problems because they were very successful in their collecting (even though its all from hashem, and our hishtadlus is limited to knocking on a door), and I know people who were not successful collecting and then had self esteem issues (once again, it had nothing to do with them).
I am aware that these boys had gaava or self esteem problems anyway, but the collecting definitely exacerbated the problems.
I think that any teenaged boy (can’t speak for the girls) who says he doesn’t understand the purpose for separating boys and girls is eihter lying to everyone else, lying to himself, or in need of psychological attention. A healthy boy should realize the dangers of talking to girls.
I agree with PBA. I couldn’t agree more, actually. I have gone collecting for yeshivos multiple times, and I have averaged over $3000 a week. No one would hire me for close to that amount of money, especially since i live out of town and there aren’t many frum business in my area.
On another note, it seems to me that Tina had a perfectly well-meaning suggestion, and when informed by PBA and friends that she (I assume she’s a she) was misinformed, she felt the need to defend herself, and started to bash PBA when she realized she couldn’t defend her point. Also, she uses big phrases like “gutter inner city teenager,” so she must be right.
Why don’t you present your suggestions directly to the Roshei Yeshiva who support this practice instead of trying to fight with PBA, who as far as i can see from all of my research, hasn’t ever lost an argument in the coffee room?