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Farewell , o thread, master entertainer, conquerer of boredom!
We will miss you dearly…
(that good enough, blinky?)
line graph
led by his nose
Sorry-‘sposed to say-
Advice Dispenser
advice dispencer
BP Totty-
We’re waiting…
I just received a bunch of amazing forwards- they’re just all videos…a pity I can’t post them…
and blinky- thanks for reminding me – that’s another one of my fears. As soon as I see a bird (or a flock of birds!) I start ducking, tilting my head away from the birds…you get the picture. Makes an odd one to my fellow pedestrians…
Sac, is that a fear or an aversion?
u my friend?
Thunder n lightening
That the NYC trains will collapse over my head
Peel the Banana
A Jewish woman goes to see her Rabbi. ” Yankele and Yosele are both in love with me,” she says. ”Who will be the lucky one?” The wise old Rabbi answers: ” Yankele will marry you. Yosele will be the lucky one.”
Smartcookie- don’t worry- I don’t know anyone either (although my family knows what username I go by)!
Dr. Pepper- I have one question for you:
Is Pepper your real name?
The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners at the airports.
likened to each other
“Enter” at your own risk
Profound
“a gram” of sugar
I see blinky beat me to it so I’ll do the next one
“oud”les of noodles
“Achma”d Mamoud
I just love it when ppl poke fun of Obama! (and I’m NOT being sarcastic!)
workers’ union
Well, since his name is sneezy I think we can reasonably assume that he is allergic.
Well I guess it doesn’t hurt to be know that if someone was creative enough to make this email up- others might be creative enough to actually put this idea into action!
Good one there ROTFL!
Thanks to all of you who advised me on how to wash strawberries! Yet where I live (won’t say where since the mods might delete if I do!), these methods are not accepted regarding locally produced strawberries. ( and as far as I know- imported strawberries are also no good…)
speak up
Strawberry Shortcake has been a favorite in my family for as long as I can remember. But when the fresh strawberries became ossur to eat we stopped making it. We tried cherry pie filling but it just wasn’t the same…any ideas?
My mother tried to use her credit card one day and didn’t know why her access was being denied (after all-she had paid all her bills!). So she quickly called up the credit card company. Turns out, an employee in one of the stores she shopped in, had gotten hold of all the credit card numbers that were used in that store and was using them for his own benefit. As soon as the store got wind of this, they stopped all these credit cards. B”H this employee hadn’t yet used my mother’s card so she didn’t lose any money! Also, the funny thing was that the company refused to divulge in which store this incident happened because the owner of the store had also suffered major losses in the same manner as his patrons!!
THIS PERTAINS TO EVERYONE–MEN INCLUDED.
Warning..!!!! Warning….!!!!
Just last weekend on Friday night we parked in a public
parking area. As we drove away I noticed a sticker on the
rear window of the car. When I took it off after I got home,
it was a receipt for gas. Luckily my friend told me not to
stop as it could be someone waiting for me to get out of the
car . Then we received this email yesterday:
‘WARNING FROM POLICE
THIS APPLIES TO BOTH WOMEN AND MEN
BEWARE OF PAPER ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE–
NEW WAY TO DO CARJACKINGS (NOT A JOKE)
Heads up everyone! Please, keep this circulating.. . You walk
across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You
start the engine and shift into Reverse..
When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your
parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle
of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your
doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or
whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach
the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out
of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically
mow you down as they speed off in your car.
And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car.
So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your
money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are
now compromised!
BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED.
If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just
drive away. Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you
read this e-mail. I hope you will forward this to friends and
family, especially to women. A purse contains all kinds of
personal information and identification documents, and you
certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands.
Please keep this going
This thread needs a revival! Anyone have any good riddles….?
How ’bout Risha for a name? There’s a little girl around the block who’s name is Rishie!(and that’s her real name- no nickname!)
On the same note, my youngest sister was supposed to be named Dubrish(!) but the name was vetoed!I wonder why…
MayanDvash-
That reminds me- my little sister MUST have her “kingcumbers” or else she cannot eat her eggs on Shabbos!
over worked
Here’s my ending to Dr. Peppers story: The teacher came in, rubbed his hands gleefully together, then went over to the boys and sniffed, ” I think they need a bit more salt and pepper… we’ll let them roast another ten minutes… then they should be done. I haven’t had such a good meal since the last time I roasted those three studends in ’89. MAWAHAHA (evil cackle) !!!”
In tenth grade we recorded our recess-break conversation on a tape. Right before the teacher came into class we turned the tape on and stuck it into the ceiling (we had the “rice cake” ceiling).
The teacher came in and demanded silence so we all shut our mouths but the noise continued… it was hilarious to watch the teacher trying to figure out why it was so noisy when we were all sitting quietly at our desks!
BTW-I’m all for funny classroom pranks but I am horrified at some of the posts I read here about pranks that involved physical harm to ppl! Li8ke the prank with the blood capsule- what would have happened if this teacher really would have had a heart attack?! Or getting a teacher to sit on a broken chair- do you realize how dangerous that is…?!
Here’s another one: My five year old cousin was looking through an old photo album. She came across a picture of my grandfather (who was niftar 5 years before this story happened)and asked, “Is this picture from before Zeidy was niftar or after?”
defined territories
Definitely the grapejuice that gets the prize for the MOST stains, most long-lasting stains and the brightest, most noticable stains in my house!
tomim tihye-
What did the milchig ppl look like?
Day Care
I have another question on muffins: Does anyone know how bakery muffins get that perfect muffin shape?
“Squeak, Baron Fritz, mod-80 –
You goy the correct answers to my riddles!”
Sorry- I meant to say “…got the correct answers…”
Squeak, Baron Fritz, mod-80 –
You goy the correct answers to my riddles!
Dr.Pepper-
That’s no riddle- it’s an honest-to-goodness probability word problem!And I have no patience for math (even though I’m supposed to be studying for a math CLEP!)!
My two year old cousin had a “precious” book of hers that depicted all types of animals. Since this book was so precious to her she read it over and over again until she knew the names of all the anials and how they look.
One day my aunt was leaving a store with this child and an african amerian was kind enough to hold the door open for them. My little cousin cheerfully waved goodbye to this man and then (loudly!) called, ” Bye-bye gorilla!”.
My little sister wanted a drink and insisted that only my mother give it to her. In exasperation my mother said, “Do you think it is a mitzva for me to always give you whatever you want when there are plenty of other ppl around to help you?!” My other sister (who was then about 6)piped up, “No- it’s a minhag!”.
OK- here are another two riddles:
1)A blind man has a bag of 30 white socks mixed with 30 black socks. What is the minimum amount of socks he must take out in order for him to have a pair of matching socks?
2)A dying man tells his two sons to race each other on their horses and whoever’s horse arrives to the finish line LAST, will inherit the father’s entire fortune. The two sons get onto their horses but neither one starts moving since they each want to arrive last. Finally an old,wise man comes along and tells them something. A few minutes later both sons take off on the horses as fast as they can and one of them wins. WHAT DID THE OLD MAN TELL THEM?
Moderator-80 you got it right on the button!
The man has 2 blue pills and 2 red pills. if he takes a half of each pill he ends up with:
0.5 blue + 0.5 blue = 1 blue
0.5 red + 0.5 red = 1 red