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August 20, 2010 5:06 pm at 5:06 pm in reply to: Funny Shidduch Questions Asked About a Boy/Girl/Family #914026blinkyParticipant
Oh my gosh, Goan- that is too funny, because i just posted the same story!!!!!!!!
August 20, 2010 5:03 pm at 5:03 pm in reply to: Funny Shidduch Questions Asked About a Boy/Girl/Family #914025blinkyParticipantYou just reminded me of a funny story- a lady called up a yeshiva- she wanted to know if a certain boy comes late for davening (or something like that- i forgot what she wanted to know) anyway the boy that picked up the phone was the boy that she wanted to know about, and he did not really come on time, so he said, ” Put it this way, everytime i’m there, hes there.” lol.
blinkyParticipantIn my house we only eat cholov Yisroel- Which goes on ALL milk products. Milk, cheese, yougurt, butter….
blinkyParticipant…”This must be hard for your parents.” (Yes, I have heard all the above!)”- Well oomois- in my family, there were a few siblings all in shidduchim (very close in age) and ppl used to tell my parents, “you are not worried- that they are not married yet…?” and they answered, “Why should we be worried we are doing our hishtadlus so this is the way it supposed to be.” Anyway in a short amount of time, a few got married;)
And i think bec. they were so upbeat about it, we didn’t feel any pressure, or sad about it. A lot is attitiude!
blinkyParticipantOh thanks for clarifying. Gavra i guess it is possible, I see where you are getting at, but the reasons for marrying the wrong person is not necessarily age gap, there are thousands of other reasons!
blinkyParticipantIm not sure i understand your question
blinkyParticipantI posted this in another thread but i think it applies here. I never understood this age gap problem, because so what if boys are marrying younger girls? They are getting married- so that means their bashert was intended to be much younger then them. So that being said- it doesn’t take away any older girls chances bec. the boy was obviously not intended for them. So i don’t believe the age gap is causing problems- its the other factors which other posters posted here already.
blinkyParticipantBecause i beleive that s/o who is already older like 21, 22… does not have to wait for an older sibling, but s/o that is younger than that should have the decency to wait. So you said that your younger sister got married before you- I was just curious how old she was.
blinkyParticipant2 wives means 2 different opinions, 2 different places to go for yom tov (which one?), and like what bP totty said 2 mothers-in-law….Im not sure its worth all the trouble:)
blinkyParticipantAZ- the chairs are there in the other room just not e/o sees it/wants to see it. These chairs are the chipped and shabby chairs but are still strong and standing straight. (meaning ppl think they are “damaged goods” and don’t want to consider them, but in reality they are very good chairs)
blinkyParticipantrebetzin- Just curious, how old was your younger sister when she got engaged
August 19, 2010 5:10 pm at 5:10 pm in reply to: Funny Shidduch Questions Asked About a Boy/Girl/Family #914012blinkyParticipantOk mod ill change it 🙂
(i actually wrote redt first but i didn’t like the way it looked so i figured its the safest to write read)
blinkyParticipantBut we cant look for boys/girls ourselves- you need other ppl for that. (also manytimes s/o that you have in mind for yourself is not what Hashem has in mind so looking for them is pointless…)
August 19, 2010 4:57 pm at 4:57 pm in reply to: Funny Shidduch Questions Asked About a Boy/Girl/Family #914010blinkyParticipantI actually read a shidduch for someone, and the boys sister said that she knows the girl i was reading to her brother and she can see the personalities “click” but she doesn’t think its a shidduch. End of that. I was trying to figure it out.
blinkyParticipantI never understood this age gap problem, because so what if boys are marrying younger girls? They are getting married- so that means their bashert was intended to be much younger then them. So that being said- it doesn’t take away any older girls chances bec. the boy was obviously not intended for them.
please continue the age gap discussion in the new age gap thread: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/musical-chairs-and-shidduchim?view=all
blinkyParticipant“But before we jump too far ahead, I think we want to determine the halacha at this point in time.”- thats a good idea.
But even if it is Halachically acceptable its not practical. Sorry gotta think of something else:(
blinkyParticipant“But its ok to say you don’t need to get married young if your older sibling hasn’t found anyone, limiting your own chances and prospects”
You are missing the point. I explained it before but ill say it again. Someone thats fresh out of seminary does not NEED to get married so young- especially if there is an older unmarried sibling. It wont ruin her chances if she goes out a year or two later- there is no rush. However if a year or two passes and the older sibling is still single- than there is no reason for the younger one to wait bec. it may limit her chances. Again its a personal sensitivity- not everyone feels the same way.
blinkyParticipant“I guess in this case sharing a chair will not work…:)
Truthfully, we should be looking at all options.”
Gavra- im confused-do you mean to say that 2 girls should marry the same boy?
blinkyParticipantOops, your right-sorry I didn’t notice.
blinkyParticipant“Sensitivity does not mean NEEDS.”
Its not a NEED to get married so young. So it is a certain sensitivity to give your older sibling a chance first. But if its going to trample on your needs- like if you are already older, than you don’t have to wait.
blinkyParticipantSJS- I think that the younger sibling should ask the older sibling if the younger one is still young- (18,19,20.) Its just a certain sensitivity to ask. However if time is really passing than i don’t believe she has to wait.
blinkyParticipantI guess in this case sharing a chair will not work…:)
blinkyParticipantpanther- i’ve heard of that too! Someone who does it said that on the 40th day always something good happened (the shidduch was read…etc.)
p.s. its not just for shiddduchim its for a ny bakasha.
blinkyParticipant“Shul member: becuase next thing I know, you’ll be asking me if I can direct you to an available seat. Then, you’ll strike up a conversation with me after davening (as we have formed a “bond”), then, you’ll ask if I have children who are in the parsha (which I do) and the next thing I know, you’ll want to be meshadech with me. AND I DONT WANT YOU AS A MECHUTAN!”
BP totty- its not even a joke- Its so true thats how conversations really go!!!
But it was a good laugh nyway:)
blinkyParticipantSJS- Well said. Nothing is made BAD. It all depends on how it is used.
blinkyParticipantWhy do you have to say anything? Just don’t talk about it. Talk about other things as long as you are TALKING! Don’t shut them out bec. you are afraid you will somehow offend them.
blinkyParticipantLets bring this thread up again.
I felt good this morning- i was running late for work and this old lady and her aide stopped me and asked me for directions to a certain store-it was hard to explain so i walked with them there (very slowly). They appreciated it so much- it was worth coming late;)
blinkyParticipantI think that if a girl is waiting for an older brother-she does not have to wait as its fine for a boy to get married a little older (24,25..) more than it is for a girl. Regarding an older sister i think they should discuss it together what they think, and whatever they decide.
blinkyParticipantMayan Dvash- i also heard about Kiddush Levana- i actually know of some girls who said it (obviously privately)… Well they are married now;)
blinkyParticipantFind other ppl who are also in need of a shidduch and daven for each other. I know a group of single girls who each have a chelek of tehillim to say every night so that the entire tehillim is completed every night as a zechus for a shidduch. Its amazing how many girls from that group are engaged/married, and new girls take over. B’hatzlacha!
August 18, 2010 3:02 pm at 3:02 pm in reply to: Funny Shidduch Questions Asked About a Boy/Girl/Family #913996blinkyParticipantSomeone once told me that she got a call from a mother who wanted to know if the girls dress size is in the single digits. This lady replied, “Well thats exactly how your son will remain- single if you ask such a stupid question.” And she promptly hung up the phone.
August 17, 2010 9:37 pm at 9:37 pm in reply to: Funny Shidduch Questions Asked About a Boy/Girl/Family #913983blinkyParticipantI put this in another post- but i want to say it again. A caller asked s/o what seminary does the girl attend. The answer was a good seminary but not the one that this lady had in mind for her son. To which the person said- so what if your son goes out with my daughter and they like each other even though she did not go to this particular seminary. To which the caller said that that is what she is afraid of that they will go out and like e/o and chas vesholom get married and then I (the mother) won’t get my ____seminary girl!!! I couldn’t beleive this.
blinkyParticipantChayala- in regards to your previous statement about rebbeim not loving the kids- I have to disagree. There are many wonderful Rebbeim out there who DO love their students- maybe not all but you shouldn’t make such a general statement.
blinkyParticipantI do not think it is appropriate for rebbeim to hit a child. Ever. If there is a problem, it should be discussed with a parent only and the Rebbe should not take such matters into their own hands.
blinkyParticipantMazel tov!!!
August 17, 2010 2:55 pm at 2:55 pm in reply to: Funny Shidduch Questions Asked About a Boy/Girl/Family #913971blinkyParticipantJust to add on to live4Hashem who wrote about if the girl is pretty-I got a call regarding a friend of mine and the caller wanted to know all the unimportant stuff like height, weight, hair color…Then she asked me if she is pretty. (it happens to be she is) So I told her that as a general rule I do not answer such questions as its unfair since beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and my opinion has nothing to do with anything. To which the caller immediately said, “oh so shes not pretty-right?” I said I have yet to meet a really ugly girl as e/o has a prettyness to them-but just bec. im not answering this question please don’t assume anything. Anyway to make it short she asked me to give her a name of another friend as she didn’t like my answers so she figured another girl wld give her better ones…I was not impressed.
p.s. Usually when s/o calls me their first question is if its a good time for you… But by this one it was just straight to the point (just a lesson in middos…)
blinkyParticipantDr. pepper- I agree but i would change the order. I would say first “don’t leave your kids unless they are under the supervision of an adult or a competent teen” and then “always make sure that the gates are closed and secured when going in and out.” (unless you were being sarcastic im not sure)
blinkyParticipantThis is such an important concept-a friend was driving and a child just ran in front of her car. She braked and just missed hitting him. Shaken, she saw the kids mother on the porch talking on a cell phone. She told the mother that she almost hit her kid. The mother barely glanced up and mumbled, “oh whatever” or something like that. She had to drive over to a corner to stop her from shaking with fear and anger-toward this irresponsible mother. She said she felt like calling in authorities right than and there.
blinkyParticipantIm not into photography but some of these pictures are really stunning-its a beautiful talent to be able to capture something and make it look so lifelike. Keep it going!
blinkyParticipantOn a Northwest Airways flight from Atlanta , GA , a well attired
middle-aged woman found herself sitting next to a man wearing a kippa
(“yarmulka” in Yiddish).
She called the attendant over to complain about her seating.
“What seems to be the problem, Madam?” asked the attendant.
“You’ve sat me next to a Jew!! I can’t possibly sit next to this strange
man. Please find me another seat!”
“Madam, I will see what I can do to accommodate,” the attendant replied,
“but the flight is virtually full today and I don’t know if there is
another seat available.”
The woman shoots a snooty look at the snubbed Jewish man beside her (not
to mention the surrounding passengers).
A few minutes later the
attendant returned and said, “Madam, the economy and club sections are
full, however, we do have one seat in First class.”
Before the lady had a chance to respond, the attendant continued, “It is
only on exceptions that we make this kind of upgrade, and I had to ask
permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain
felt that no one should be forced to sit next to an unpleasant
person…”
The flight attendant turned to the Jewish man sitting next to her, and
said:
“So if you’d like to get your things, Sir, I have a comfortable seat for
you in First class…”
At this point, the surrounding passengers stood up and gave a standing
ovation while the Jewish man walked up to the front of the plane.
The lady then said indignantly,
“The Captain must have made a mistake..”
To which the attendant replied,
“No Ma’am. Captain Cohen never makes a mistake.”
blinkyParticipantsjs-im reading these posts and i don’t understand what you are trying to say. Your method obviously works for your child-good for you, not all kids are like that. Some kids need a more stronger discipline and thats also fine (obviously done the correct way). As long as there is discipline it does not really matter which way it is.
blinkyParticipantBack in the mid nineties a Jewish advertising executive in New York came up with an idea. What if the New York Times, considered the world’s most prestigious newspaper, listed the weekly Shabbat candle lighting time each week. Sure someone would have to pay for the space. But imagine the Jewish awareness and pride that might result from such a prominent mention of the Jewish Shabbat each week. He got in touch with a Jewish philanthropist and sold him on the idea. It cost almost two thousand dollars a week. But he did it. And for the next five years, each Friday, Jews around the world would see ‘Jewish Women: Shabbat candle lighting time this Friday is ……’
Eventually the philanthropist had to cut back on a number of his projects. And in June 1999, the little Shabbat notice and stopped appearing in the Friday Times. and from that week on it never appeared again. Except once. On January 1, 2000, the NY Times ran a Millennium edition. It was a special issue that featured three front pages. One had the news from January 1, 1900. The second was the actual news ofthe day, January 1, 2000. And then they had a third front page. Projecting future events of January 1, 2100. This fictional page included things like a welcome to the fifty-first state: Cuba . As well as a discussion as to whether robots should be allowed to vote. And so on. And in addition to the fascinating articles, there was one more thing. Down on the bottom of the Year 2100 front page, was the candle lighting time in New York for January 1, 2100. Nobody paid for it. It was just put in by the Times.
The production manager of the New York Times, an Irish Catholic, was asked about it. His answer was right on the mark. And it speaks to the eternity of our people. And to the power of Jewish ritual. “We don’t know what will happen in the year 2100. It is impossible to predict the future. But of one thing you can be certain. That in the year 2100 Jewish women will be lighting Shabbos candles.”
blinkyParticipantI think kiddush Hashem is when Jewish ppl are veiwed in a positive light through their actions.
August 11, 2010 5:10 pm at 5:10 pm in reply to: Why I'm going to let my kids run around in shul #824453blinkyParticipant“I guess every shul will do their own thing based on the guidance of its Rav regarding those who disturb.”
Well said. I agree.
blinkyParticipantAre you referring to a shidduch resume? If you are i suggest you put on the rav of your shul (if he knows basically who you are and your family type) Maybe a close neighbor who can also give info on your family type. Find at least ONE friend who can give info on you. A teacher, Rebbe that you were close with….B’Hatzlacha!
blinkyParticipantFast, beaty music always gets me in the mood…. Why don’t you set aside a goal of things you have to do and after its done treat yourself to s/t nice?
blinkyParticipantI remember in my 12th grade i felt also there was not so much achdus yet as the years went on and girls got married, ppl got together by weddings and it was really so special. Everyone was catching up with each other and talking about their jobs… i found out that if you make an effort to go out to classmates weddings it really is a great way to bring back the “togetherness” of your grade- after all you did spend 4 years with them. b’hatzlacha!
blinkyParticipantI beleive as long you discipline your child thats fine. It doesn’t necessarily have to be through hitting. If you do it its fine (as long as you do it the right way) and if you don’t do it thats also fine as long as they are being disciplined. Do what works for you- there is no one way.
blinkyParticipantOkay you win…..But not on the most favorite flavors-thats still vanilla!!!!!!!!!! (I counted the ! exact so ill know if you took one off;))
blinkyParticipant“Yup agent i happen to know who you are and that description fits you perfectly!!” Sorry i take that back (being that agent does not like choc. mint chip)
Agent is really very special, and not at all ordinary even though vanilla was the choice. Sorry 80, the description does not work for everyone…
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