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First and foremost I just want to point out the fact that you want to grow in emunah. That alone is something to recognize and be proud of. Not too many people consciously strive to grow in emunah on a daily basis, and the fact that you do makes you someone very special and someone you (and your parents) should be proud of. I think that it also means that deep down you truly do believe in Hashem and yiddishkeit.
Anyway, I really agree with chizuk1 that you should speak with a Rav or someone else who not only knows about different areas of emunah but also knows and cares about you. Explaining such critical dimensions of Judaism shouldn’t be limited by chatroom word count limits and faceless posters.
Good luck in your journey in learning about Hashem, emunah, (and probably a bit about yourself too), and I’m sure everyone here is rooting for you to succeed.
I’m not sure about how you would define it but there is a realtivly new mesivta that opened in TEaneck called Heichal Hatora. I’ve heard very good things a bout it.
I know what a pathologist is. I’m just saying that the years of medical school and training notwithstanding, it fits the discription of a “yeshivish job.” The hours are relatively good, the pay is nice, you sit in front of a microscope most of the day so there are few tznius problems, and you’re helping others. I’m not saying that it’s the right job for everyone (or anyone!), but you have to admit that it seems to meet all of the criteria.
I suppose a radiologist would also be similar, but pathology seems to have even less human interaction so less potential tznius problems.
I’m still in yeshiva/college so I don’t claim to be an expert on the matter, but here is my two cents:
in the more yeshivish circles a rebbe does not need a degree (though you’d be suprised how helpful a bachelors or masters in education, psychology, or even math can be). If you want a job in a less yeshivish school system then it becomes more of a necessity.
In terms of the short hours requirement, forgive me if I’m cynical. The Torah says bizeas apecha tochal lechem. For 99% of the world this curse has held true. Some sweat and make millions, some sweat and make next to nothing. But they all sweat (no matter how many or few degrees they have). If there was a way to make a living by only working half a day, everyone would do it. The only way to not work much is to be supported or come up with some new idea (product, business model, new type of job) that is a success. In other words, if you want to live above the system, you have to work and think above the system.) Therefore, a yeshivish job doesn’t necassarily have short hours, just maybe not 90 hours a week.
The important thing to have in mind is to have bitachon that Hashem is looking out for you and that assuming you put in the proper hishtadlus (whatever that is for you), Hashem will help you get to where you need to be.
In terms of jobs that may be more conducive to a Torah lifestyle some are:
actuary
accountant
computer programmer
pathologist
(Parenthetically, judging by your questions (and previous threads) the life trajectory of yeshivish men is somewhat unfamiliar to you. I would highly reccomend that you speak to actual people as well before coming to a desicion.)
look in the shulchan aruch harav hilchos talmud torah about when one should get married. (spoiler: when you know tanach, shas, shulchan aruch, and midrash halacha) i haven’t seen it in a while so could be mistaken.
“Just tell me why not, according to halachah or at least according to minhag or mussar.”
Maybe there isn’t any explicit halachah, minhag, or mussar.
Maybe it does have to do something with being refined.
Maybe even though you want to deal with it, Hashem might have some expectations of a particular community or individual as well.
I know people (men) that refuse to speak on a cellphone on a bus. Not because it’s assur, but because it’s a breach of privacy – tznius.
sussquehanna hats. you might want to buy a few as they have a tendency to be punched by irate passerbys.
One of my rabbeim advises couples to only host family until they have children. Not because of jealousy or any of the other reasons mentioned, but simply because it is a time for a husband and wife to be together.
from what i know, only Mir has official shiurim in English. In terms of English speaking bochrim in Mir and Ponovezh, I know of a handful in Chevron (2 or 3), but both are 99% Israeli.
Many Hesder yeshivos will have an American program (from a cynical perspective its to get money to support the Israel and Kollel programs they have, but that’s just being cynical). These students will typically learn there for 1-3 years and return to the US for college/yeshiva.
In some cases the hashkafos or emphases of the American program will be somewhat different from the Israeli program. Sometimes it will be closer to the standard ‘yeshivish’ model that most people think of. For example, many people say that about the American program in KBY, something I would agree with.
“if someone is in yu, at the very least he is saying that he doesn’t feel uncomfortable in that environment. that is very telling, whether you consider that positive or negative.”
Forgive me for disagreeing but that’s simply not true.
I should hope that a frum person needing to work in Manhattan would feel uncomfortable walking outside to get a to a bus or subway due to the many billboards, signs, passerbys, etc. but there are plenty of bnei Torah that still work in the city. It might not be ideal or comfortable, but for whatever reason they still work there.
I think you should rather say that “at the very least he is saying that he doesn’t feel uncomfortable in that environment to the extent that he would be prepared to leave it regardless of personal circumstances, costs, and sacrifices.”
I went to mesivta yesodei yeshurun. Both the learning and secular studies were excellent. It might be more yeshivish than you are looking for (many talmidim there so say “geshmak”).
Another school in the area is Chofetz Chaim. I didn’t go there, but I had friends that did. The learning is great, and there is a genuine emphasis on middos. It’s probably less yeshivish in the stereotypical way.
I think it would be best if you clarified for people what type of yeshiva you are looking for. There are many yeshivos with shtark bochrim and high level shiurim. It’s the nuances that distinguish them.
What type of atmosphere are you looking for? What are your long term goals? What type of chevra are you looking for?
If he is in Yesodei Yeshurun, then they have a beis midrash Ohr Hachaim. Many of the bochrim will go to Lander College or Queens College at night and go to Eretz Yisroel for a year or two when they graduate.
ToMo is another great yeshiva that some of the bochrim go to. ToMo has a college arrangement with Execelsior College (I don’t know the details) and others will go back to America to Landers, Ner Yisroel, or Queens College.
Another place some bochrim go to (albeit not many) is Kerem B’Yavneh, also a great yeshiva. The yeshiva gives a BTL after 3 years, but most bochrim who go back to America to college will go to YU, Ner Yisroel, or Landers.
it’s not exactly scary, but i would recommend tanya. It will take a while, but if you spend time thinking about the topics, it’s a very powerful message. However, the sefer is a springboard for introspection, so it will take time (if i recall, the ba’al hatanya actually talks about a person who doesn’t fell like he is changing in one of the parts of the sefer)
in that vein, there is a story about him visiting talmidim at the battlefront, and he was driven by the yeshiva’s cook who had a long white beard etc. The army commander was shocked when he found out that the younger, clean shaven man was the rosh yeshiva.
I only had the zechusof meeting him once. It was about two years ago and it was quite difficult to hear and understand him. However, just watching him walk, daven, and smile was something special. There was a certain pashtus, temimus, and kedusha to his whole being that you could see in an instant.
I think Ohr Hachayim in Queens allows it. Most of the guys go Landers (about 15 minutes away) twice a week for part of afternoon and night seder. Some take online classes instead.
my rebbe said that the chazon ish go it from a tosfos in brachos. He also said that he had looked at the tosfos but had no idea how the chazon ish was able to figure out things from there. (He didn’t say which tosfos it was)
does it matter?
Baruch Hashem it took several decades and someone from the WSJ to import a label. The OU has existed for a while without one. Let’s try to keep it that way.
I won’t see them for a few days so keep an eye out for updates.
I know some frum guys studying engineering at City College, but I don’t know how large the presence is.
sometimes they will weigh sometimes they won’t. whatever personal item you bring, make sure it doesn’t look!! bulky or heavy.
If i remember correctly, Hashem told Moshe not to daven and to just walk into the Yam Suf.
I have absolutely no source for this, but one might distinguish between kissing and derech chibah in the times of Tanach (Lavan did the same thing to Yaakov…, as did Yitzchak to Yaakov). If true, this might have interesting applications for handshakes…
I think it might be interesting to conduct a survey across different demographic orthodox jews about various hashkafos and characteristics associated with labels. I think there might be a lot more overlap than is normally assumed.
I heard an answer from someone, and as silly as it sounds, there is a grain of truth to it:
In case someone is mekadesh a woman al tenai that the State of Israel is the aschalta d’geula.
Judging by what you’ve written and having gone to Kerem B’Yavneh,I think it would be a good match. That being said, you should probably find out more about several of the yeshivos you’re looking at by talking to people learned there; each is slighlty different from the other and you should go the one that will help you grow the most. Hatzlacha