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that’s interesting thought – i don’t know. don’t think it affects what i post, but may affect what i think of others; at least until they post a lot and i can see their poster personality.
what about in real life? does people’s name affect how you think of them? or is it just here cuz we can’t judge them by their looks and/or handwriting ? ?
thanks chocandpatience. ?
3 gedolim?
no. one gadol is good enough for me; but not only should he ask, he should also listen to what the gadol says. i agree with op that principal does not have to be a gadol hador, but he should be asking shailos from someone who is a gadol in chinuch every step of the way. the damage that a principal can do is scary.
that’s beautiful.
Humanity is divided into the ‘haves’ and ‘have nots’.
Those who have read the Guide and those who have not.
i read the hitchhiker’s guide and others in the series, but what does that poem have to do with it?
my understanding is that there are two approaches to make-up and both have backings by mainstream frumkeit (at least in Eretz Yisrael, among charedim).
1) no make-up in public at all, even if possible, not to wear at one’s own chasunah.
2) wearing make-up is a mitzvah; it’s a mitzvah to look nice and attractive in a kavodick way – can look temimsdik with the right amount and right kind of make-up.
there are also some people who say yes to make-up, but no to eyeliner, quoting a passuk, i think in a navi.
actually both 1 and 2 back themselves up with quotes from pesukkim, but i don’t remember what they are. 🙂
?
cool!
alt 4 brings me back to the first page, and alt 9 brings me back to google. weird. ?
much better idea. 🙂
always here – lol!
i only read the title and the last one – i’m the type who reads the endings first.
oh… it’s time to say good shabbos, cuz all your work is done. (well, not exactly, yet… )
but, so i can finish all my work, i’m signing off…
GOOD SHABBOS! 🙂
zach – that is simply stunning – they’re professional and gorgeous! did you teach yourself or took classes?
wolf – that is beautiful!
happiest: words to the song are: ( i think it’s from journeys.)
i was driving up the turnpike, to New York, and my ’67 Buick had seen better days
With my hat and jacket tossed upon the backseat, and a sefer on the dashboard, that would look real fine
‘Cause the shadchan said, “This time it would be different.” I’d heard those words so many times before. “But the family’s nice”, or “believe me, this one’s special”, I said “All right, but only just once more”
I could hear the awkward words that would soon be said, when we met one another for the first time.
And the feeling would be there that when we walked outside, of hopeful eyes staring from the window.
The man inside the tollbooth said “Oh, it’s you again”, I felt like turning back right then and there.
‘Cause the shadchan said, “This time it would be different.” I’d heard those words so many times before. “But the family’s nice”, or “believe me, this one’s special”, I said “All right, but only just once more”
I wondered what the problems would be this time.
Which one would say it was not meant to be.
And the nagging thoughts would start to cross my mind.
Would I ever find the one that’s right for me?
And in the morning, I would have to talk to mom and dad, tell them what went wrong, but that don’t get me scared.
It’s that shadchan callin’ up, and saying one more time, “I’ve got another one, I’m sure it’s bashert”.
I’m still driving up the turnpike to New York, and my ’67 Buick still had better days.
But the drive, it’s not as lonely as it used to be. ’cause I got my wife and seven kids along with me.
And every now and then my wife tells me go make a call, to some young man who wants to settle down.
And I tell him all about middos and personality, and the ten best places that there are in town.
And I say to him “This time it will be different”, he says to me “I’ve heard those words before.”
“But the family’s nice, or believe me, this one’s special,” he says “all right”, oh, he says “all right, but only just once more”.
i was also gonna write – posting in the cr. 🙂
i agree with zeeskite – good idea to post good things we did;
um.. well… i’ll let you know when i think of one. 🙂
all these calculations are talking about 20 year olds who marry someone who has never been married before; but i happen to know many people who in their 20’s and/or 30’s married either a divorcee or a widower.
i don’t know if mod.80 is correct or not; but from what i’ve seen, it seems to be true.
mrs.brite – i seventh the motion, that what you wrote was really very nice – i have never heard that mashal before.
s2021
And there ya go, ur bein so agreeable lately.
Is this to make the next motzei shabb scandal even more shocking?
LOL! 🙂
sing to yourself the song, “This time it will be different, i’ve heard those words so many times before….”
(when not sefirah, listen to the song).
i know someone who once walked down to this song. 🙂
but, it is hard. talk to friends. find something enjoyable to do. write in a journal. and know that one day these sad feelings will be just a very distant memory.
i just heard on a tape, that if one is not sure if they’re doing something for the right reason or for the wrong reason, they should do it anyways, but try to work on themselves for doing it for the right reason. it is the yetzer horah which tells them not to do so.
but, i’ve also seen something else happen. sometimes people try to do chessed for someone else, but it’s really too much for them: meaning, chessed that only they can do for their own family (like supper or laundry) is not done or mother is overly stressed cuz took on added thing which really did not have time for, so starts yelling.
however, if case is when person could really do the chessed but just don’t want to be a pushover, can choose to do it anyways. if they think it’s creating an unhealthy environment for themselves and are really furious about doing it, my own opinion is that maybe they shouldn’t or maybe they can find another more healthy way of helping the other person.
there are many disorders that are caused by the mind/body relationship and repressed rage because trying to do good even when don’t really want to is often the cause.
my understandingt is that it was his tevah to do so; what made him even greater was to go against his grain and be willing to perform the akeidah, even though that was against his nature. and the trick is to know when to and when not to have rachmanus. for example, even though he didn’t want to, he sent yishmael and hagar out of his house.
zeeskite – i think they like getting in the last word.
zeeskite – ????? threads ???? ??? thread?? ????? ? ? 🙂
yes. 🙂
(both are right, depending on who you are).
i kind of agree with yeshivabachur, but for a different reason. really, i see that you have 2 options: if you are certain about what you are looking for/need, you can wait just for that. if not going out bothers you and you’ll feel more like you’re doing something if also dating, can date people who don’t sound as perfect – also, never know, maybe you or the guy will know someone who is just right for the other person, if it doesn’t work out for you 2. i don’t think either option is right or wrong – depends on you. sometimes, it’s not so good to not being going out at all, if sincerely want to get married now. if not, and you don’t mind waiting, then just wait. really depends on you, and which way you can have more energy to be doing what should be doing now.
a lot of people made great points about not wasting this time. definitely do hishtadlus and daven, but also good time to work on yourself, attend shiurim, establish relationships with rebbetzins/mentors, etc. and have fun!
lol!
i agree with pba. chessed that comes out of the desire to give and an overabundance of love is chessed.
when it is given from a place where person now is strained and/or resentful, i don’t believe it’s chessed. (or at least not highest form) though, i don’t know how ???? ???? ?? ???? would apply here.
often, people do chessed to others on the cheshbon of their family or their own needs.
a true tzaddik is like avraham avinu who was pained when he had no guests or like rav aryeh levine who couldn’t say “no” to anyone because he truly loved everyone, and giving gave him the greatest pleasure.
don’t have the answer; just wanted to be on the only women thread, but i see that it has already been infiltrated.
emlf’s subtitle – lol!
if you have married friends, periodically call them and remind them what you’re looking for – maybe their husband knows someone. have a clear descripotion in your head of what you’re looking for and tell it to people. the person who made my shidduch was from completely different circles than i am, but when she asked what i was looking for, i told her exactly what. she said i know the guy for you. i, of course, didn’t believe her. but, through some strange circumstances, she did know him and described for the first time in about 10 years exactly what i was looking for. you never know who will be your shaliach. do whatever hishtadlus you could do; while at the same time davening from your heart and because you want to get married, and not from a place of burnt out, giving up or depression.
good luck.
my sister hadn’t dated anyone for a year when all of a sudden the right name came up and she married the guy. happens all the time. “yeshuos Hashem k’heref ayin.”
okay. 🙂
health- i am not at all saying that you should or should not believe in them. (i’m not even sure if i do, or rather depends on what and who is doing it.)
anyways, i was just making wrong assumptions about you – i just assumed that that was part of the problem in other thread. sorry.
oh, and can someone please explain the yiddish?
eclipse – actually, i never undersood why do most women now have the added curse of b’zaas apecha – even if it is done willingly. we don’t see men have the additional curse of pregnancy and labor. i know that many women choose to work for various reasons, but at the end of the day, it was a curse!!!!
i’m not asking why individual women work – it’s more of a philosophical question – i just don’t get it.
(by the way, i strongly feel that if a woman chooses to work in order to support her husband, husband should be extremely grateful, and when woman feels that it is too much, husband should help out with parnassah or take over the responsibility. how to fit all this in with learning, need for something to live on, etc. etc. – i don’t know. i find this whole issue a very complicated issue.
what others asked are all general questions. also, need specific questions based on your own child. what is your kid like? what kind of personality do you and your son/daughter thinks s/he needs and ask questions concerning that? what is your son’s/daughter’s hashkafa and plans for life? are their visions compatible? etc.
adorable – me too.
Health
Member
Please don’t make assumptions about me. As a matter of fact I do believe in alternative medicine secondary to mainstream, if it makes sense as opposed to homeopathy (which makes no sense to me). The honesty I was refering to wasn’t about medicine per se.
ok. fair enough. no more making assumptions. sorry. 🙂
anyways, in my ignorance, i was putting alternative medicine together with homeopathy. is reflexology, chiropracter, and such alternative medicine? and dealing with herbs, aromatherapy, and such homeopathy?
chofetz chaim – under Hermione’s aproval, of course.
I hope to also one day be the you you will one day be:)
me2 🙂
i have no idea what the actual halacha is – but there are definitely people who do not take pictures of the sun.
yes, i assumed that the knowledge of the tens if not hundreds of people who visit this forum every day would be far greater then the knowledge of a single individual.
this reminds me of the joke:
a guy wanted to know how long the king’s nose was, so he asked everyone in the town, how long they thought the king’s nose was. then he took an average of all these estimates to determine the size of the king’s nose. it so happened that this king never went outside, so the people in the town had never seen him or his nose. However, the guy figured that an estimate from a lot of people would provide a better answer than just asking the king’s son, who has seen his father, the king, but is only a single individual.
more complicated is the fact:
a) i think that whatever i think is true
b) i also think that not everything i think is true, is in fact true
And that is the truth. 🙂
health – thanks for clarifying. so truth is very important to you.
problem is that some people may think that the truth is in alternative medicine or something else that you (i’m guessing) would knock and call it superstition. problem with the medical field, is that there is still so much unknown; and what the research shows, keeps changing.
anyways, don’t underestimate us, folks, in the cr. we can see that you’re bringing the traditional medical answers and that some others are at times bringing non-traditional answers or are just googling the answers and don’t really know what they’re talking about.
that’s the same argument people have with asking shailos on the CR. answer is to go to own doctor (and to ask own LOR halachic questions). here, can get good answers some times, and other times pure “fudge”.
But I come here to help people, not to hurt them.
health, that has always been very obvious to me, and i truly do find your answers very helpful.
stuffed cabbage: that’s good that you fall in the middle on most things – means you’re pretty balanced and not too extreme. sometimes, if one is too much one thing, they need to balance themselves out a bit.
psacha – i agree that an ES would not be in the CR, usually, cuz too busy. but all other types can come in for different reasons, though they will choose to type on different threads or alternatively, different threads will bring out different aspects of them.
i don’t believe everyone in the CR is an N; but definitely, a higher proportion are N’s here than in the “real world”.
(nailpolish thread is NOT an “N” type thread. 🙂
ym moderator – 42: you’re right.
pba wrote on the peaceful thread:
popa_bar_abba
Bina: I didn’t pull a joseph, it really is my father, and I had nothing to do with his post. (I just told him about the thread, as well as everyone else I know.)
abba bar dad – very cute user name. we can see that in pba’s case, sense of humor seems to have patrilineal descent. (though his mother may also have a good sense of humor)
Ok. Actually, binahyeseira’s post was the most straight to the core, and dealt with the actual reason more than proof thereof.
thanks!
But, it came with a big disclaimer, saying that it won’t suffice as proof to one who doesn’t accept its premise.
can anything suffice as proof if you don’t accept its premise?
problem with the atypical troll thread was that his premise was completely inaccurate; so everyone was arguing with pba’s made-up theory of what is a Jew.
if one defines a Jew as only someone who lives in Israel or as someone who got a non-halachic conversion, there’s no discussion, for that is NOT how Hashem defines what is a Jew. that’s why arguing without agreeing on the premise is pointless – you’ll be arguing about apples and other person about oranges.
binahyeseira – somehow, i don’t think pba’s thread is gonna last as long as the diabetes one.
and i'm prophetic, too.😉i enjoyed it too. but nobody commented on my answer, and i personally thought mine was a good answer.
oh well, at least i got in the last answer before it closed.
getting a new subtitle was an added plus.
what was wrong with my answer?!?
hey. that worked! thanks, again!
Daas Yochid
Member
binahyeseira,
That “cool thing” I do is called blockquote. The word blockquote is inserted instead of strong or em.
thanks.