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bh18Participant
NO. You’re becoming a bar mitzvah. You’re maturing. You don’t need and shouldn’t receive like others have. If you must have the nonsense and wastefulness like others have, then you can pay for the difference with your bar mitzvah gift money
bh18ParticipantI am 5’8″ and wear long skirts. I shop online at jcpenney and old navy. They both have a tall section online. I find their skirts are long and their tops have longer sleeves. G’luck!
bh18ParticipantYup, we know each other….I live downstairs from the family who hosts so many shabbos guests…their daughter and son-in-law and kids live by them..yup, we know each other.
bh18ParticipantFirst of all eclipse, Mazel Tov and upstairs people say Mazel Tov too. I bought a Fortune wig by Esther Tobias in Flatbush and I love it. Fortune wigs always have a variety of qualities and hair types/origins and of styles. They also have sales every couple of months and if you go to their website, you can sign up for email and/or text alerts to these sales. I also tried and disliked Shevy wigs and Aliza wigs and Milano wigs. I recommended Fortune wigs to a few friends and those who trust me, tried her wigs and love it. Hatzlocha
bh18ParticipantI am twice divorced..both gittin through rabbi Mendel Epstein….the first had me wait 3 and half years for a get and the second gave it to me immediately. Rabbi Epstein asked for my ex(es) and I to pay a total of $500 for the get to pay for the sofer and for his time. I did not have my share of the fee and he did not push or pressure me to pay. He also did not do anything to my first ex to give the get quicker!! Also, Rabbi Epstein, or as I call him, the big man, and his wonderful wife continue to support me emotionally
bh18ParticipantTo frumnotyeshivish: please tell me your lifeguard certification expired and you didn’t!!!! You wrote that you are “an expired lifeguard” . Wow…and you came back to write to us on the CR! Oh, the pull of the CR.
bh18ParticipantWhat about the neighbor who throws your mail out? I used to subscribe to the Reader’s Digest magazine and after a few months of not receiving it, I called their customer service. They explained that it was mailed to me every month. After doing a bit of snooping and questioning, I found out a neighbor had been taking the magazines. When I asked her for them, she said she was throwing them out for me. She explained that she knows I really don’t want to read “those goyishe books” but that “you didn’t have the Koach to throw them out on your own”. Since I was able to receive the magazines on my iPad shortly thereafter, I let her behavior and stealing go.
bh18ParticipantBy the way, I logged onto DMV website and ordered a muni-meter parking card. They sell these pre-paid $20, ‘$50, and $100 and they are great for those who don’t want to schlep quarters or pull out a credit card every time. I bought a $50 parking card and that is the only ma’alah of the muni-meter for me over regular meters.
bh18ParticipantAnd what about when you’re parking with kids?! My youngest is 5 and I’m still hesitant and afraid…first we have to walk up to half a block to muni-meter, then back to car…now is my dilemma: if the driver door is facing traffic, do I have my little one stand on the sidewalk while I walk into the street and open the driver door and put the receipt on dash or do I take him and walk into him into street, into oncoming traffic, have him stand and wait (ha, by now he’s crying and cranky and impatient) while I open the door and reach in and put receipt on dash? The muni-meter idea is dangerous and ridiculous and not thought out or planned well!!! Where is dov hikind?!
bh18ParticipantWhen I was taking my son to various doctors, hospitals, tests, and such, I had to fill out so many forms that I wanted to order a pre stamped and pre filled out form! Anyway, one form I had to fill out for him asked for his gender -are you sitting down?- the choices were: male, female, undecided. Yes, I checked off undecided!!! Also, with the options ofhim being single, married, separated, divorced, widowed,….I checked off married a few times!!!! And why do they ask if you’re single or separate or divorced or widowed?! Those are all redundant descriptions of same status! Shouldn’t single or married be enough options?
August 21, 2012 3:28 am at 3:28 am in reply to: Jewish Crohn's & Colitis Support Group 'Education Event' #1137387bh18ParticipantNewsreader, if you can find a copy of the last country yossi magazine (June 2012 Brooklyn ny) my sister wrote an article titled bathroom blessings. It’s about my son, his hirschsprungs disease, his permanent ileosotmy and mostly about the amazing chessed done for us all over. At the end of the article she wrote an email address we created for people to contact me for support and suggestions. I tried including that email address in a previous post but the mods deleted the post. Pease try to obtain a copy of the article and email me at that address. Thank you
bh18ParticipantWhen people ask how I’m doing and they obviously don’t really want to know-just asking to be polite. I usually answer “oh, my cat’s grandma died”. The best is when the reply to that is “that’s nice” said with a smile.
bh18ParticipantHealth, meaning that as soon as the rav said do/give the get, he said he would be available the following Sunday “as long as its quick”. And another bH, he gives child support to the penny and other than the reuqired hour visit, he is not involved with my sons care so bH for my older one who is and for family and friends who are as well.
You could read about my younger ones (and the family’s blessings) on page 56 in the latest country yossi magazine.
bh18Participantbli ayin hara…baruch Hashem…Well, we have lots to be grateful for! He gave me my get quickly on the scheduled day (said he was in a rush cuz he had tickets to Yankees game)…my oldest is starting high school…osotmy surgery is a lifesaver for my five year old…five year old accepted into wonderful yeshiva that was my first and preferred choice…both boys and I are confident and strong and settled and appreciate life and family and even the Ostomy..we have wonderful neighbors and friends…I have a parnasah…hodu l’Hashem ki Tov…Hashem loves us…we believe…ani ma’amin…I want to share my ideas of appreciation and joy…say Baruch Hashem
bh18ParticipantI was at wedding of chasidishe couple , they had ten man band, band members with chasidic garb and when chassan and kallah came in, they played Lady Gaga!! Watch on you tube! Lady gaga Jewish wedding.
April 10, 2012 10:27 pm at 10:27 pm in reply to: Jewish Crohn's & Colitis Support Group 'Education Event' #1137379bh18ParticipantModerators, please ask ‘newsreader’ for permisssion then forward my email address to ‘newsreader’. I would like to communicate with her regarding diet, suggestions, advice and such. Thank you
April 10, 2012 5:11 am at 5:11 am in reply to: Jewish Crohn's & Colitis Support Group 'Education Event' #1137376bh18ParticipantThank you, right path! I’m glad I’m not forgotten about. I could use even more guidance now than before Ostomy was placed. My son is not eating over yom tov since he eats mostly white flour products and matzah is dangerous for him. If anyone has ideas please,help us. My son keeps saying how hungry he is and I resorted to giving him American cheese, the least of the worst of his food no-no’s. I will make him sephardic for pesach and try to give him small amounts of rice and my rav said I may and should up give him his soy products over pesach. I could still use ideas and advice and suggestions. thank you. Also, if anyone needs support or chizuk (or non-pesach) ideas or advice with hirchsprungs disease or with ileostomies or related, you may contact me through moderators.
bh18ParticipantOn Purim, my boys are allowed to eat 4 of the nosh they collect. On shushan Purim, we put everything onto the table and select 4 noshes to keep and we put everything else (not homemade) into a huge basket and bring it to a hospital for nurses and outpatient children and parents of inpatient children to enjoy. This idea came to me from all the times I was with my little one in different hospitals in different neighborhoods and states and felt lonely and hungry and sad. (thank you to the strangers in the hospital last pesach for sharing their food with me!)
bh18ParticipantI feel your tza’ar!! I found hatzlocha for my son in Cincinnati children’s hospital and Cincinnati has top hospitals for adults as well. I recommended to someone to try Cleveland clinic and b’H they were literally mechaye maysim him. Hatzlocha and refuah shelaimah
bh18ParticipantDid you Try midwood suites in Flatbush? They’re on east 15th between avenues k and j. Very clean, friendly service, reasonable rates, near trains and buses and Shuls and kosher shopping and food
bh18ParticipantWe used veretzky hall on coney and L. Room was beautiful, tablecloths beautiful, and Kold Kuts of ave k and nostrand avenue served yummy food by friendly waiters. We did not want a mechitzah ( no dancing by women) so the food was set up buffet style halfway across the room. Everyone complimented the room, decor, food, and service. We made our own centerpieces that were profusely complimented and could share more ideas if you and moderators want to email me your email info. Hatzlocha and Mazel Tov!
bh18ParticipantThe woman’s side:
For over three years now, one painful question has been occupying my mind. AM I AN AGUNAH?
I understand an AGUNAH is a women whose husband refuses to give her a get. An AGUNAH is a woman who has fled the evil and manipulative spider spinning her marriage but is still caught in the web. She is a woman struggling to free herself of her marriage and to eventually, start living
AM I AN AGUNAH?
An AGUNAH is the wife of a man beis din has demanded three times to set free. Her husband refuses to obey the jewish court and she is given the honorary title of AGUNAH. She is then assisted by various rabbanim and batei din until eventually, she is free to live her life as she wishes and not as her husband demands.
AM I AN AGUNAH?
The rabbanim I went to for advice while I was still living with my abusive husband refused to help me. I asked numerous rabbanim for assistance and for strength to leave my angry and abusive husband. They refused. I then asked them to help me be able to live with him. They refused. The therapist I was seeing every week, alone-my husband said that since I have a problem of not being able to live with him I should go for counseling- said I must, for my physical and emotional health and for my son’s safety, leave him. I called rabbanim nightly, crying and pleading for help, and was criticized, lied to and betrayed. One rav said that as a neighbbor of my father-in-law, he can’t help me. Another said that my husband needs someone to vent on. I asked if I’m his punching bag and was told that I “have the zechus to be there for him so he doesn’t vent on others”. Another rav misquoted gemorah and wrongly explained to me that I “will be getting a great mitzvah if I stay with my husband”. Another said “he needs a woman so how can you abandon him?” after these rabbanim asked what I was doing to anger him, to make him lose his self control and temper and then physically and verbally abuse me, I realized they would never help me. I would have to leave my house with my infant son, in any weather and any time and stay out for hours, praying that he would be asleep before I returned. With the love of my families, I was eventually able to leave him and try to build a safe and calm environment for my son and myself.
I begged other rabbanim for assistance after I fled and lived in fear and hiding (I still live in fear and the rabbanim gave him my addresss). The rabbis now can not and I feel will not help me. They say calling my husband to beis din to grant me a get will not accomplish anything since he will not obey them. I am told there is nothing I can do but wait patiently and calmly for him to decide that I “deserve” (his words) the get. My husband curses me, threatens me, attempts to intimidate me and use my two year old son as spawn in his selfish and evil threats. He uses the get as another pawn, especially when he demands that I respect him and “take the gamble of getting the get this year or in twenty years!” he even chased me when I walked to my apartment and did so with his hand lifted as if to hit me, reminding me of my disastrous and horrifying marriage to him, an emotionally, verbally and physically (though according to beis din, since he never slapped me on the face I wasn’t physically abused!) abusive person. Beis din wanted to know what I did to him when he chased me and when I was married to him! They won’t allow me to obtain an order of protection or go to secular courts for help and they will not help me because in their words, I am “not an AGUNAH”
AM I NOT AN AGUNAH?!
I always hear of and read about the man’s side but most studies and most real life situations involve those of abusive men who continue to abuse by withholding the get or using it to avoid giving child support and use to blackmail and torture their wives and children.
I wrote this personal journey entry years ago and finally received the get after he came through my son’s bedroom window and was arrested and I ceased following beis din orders. I pressed charges, got an order of protection and showed him and bais din that I will do for my child and for me,whether or not I ever receive my get. It was then, when they had no more power over me, that they ordered him to give the get and me to pay for the get and forgo child support for several years.
Hatzlocha to anyone in similar abusive situations.
bh18ParticipantAfter waiting (only) three years for my get, I will go to any rally for any woman! I waited because he said that he is in charge and in control and he will decide when i’ve earned the get. Beis din started each session by quietly slipping him money then asking who would pay for that meeting. He said he would and he was listened to. So yes, there are two sides to each story but stories dont matter. No one should be forced to stay in a relationship!! Please post more info on rally!!
bh18ParticipantI wish my ex husband had told me during dating that I was too girly!!! After we married, he did not want or let me wear anything with flowers, feminine colors, designs, even makeup! He said its too feminine and too much. So yes, if he thinks you’re too girly, thank him for saying it now!
bh18Participanti am trying so hard to be positive and accepting that my 4 year old son now has a permanent ostomy bag that i continuously replace and reattach to a surgically created hole on his abdomen. i see nachas now and know that my 4 year old is my hero. when i change the bag, which can be painful, he puts out his hand and says, “i am holding Hashem’s hand so i could be brave”. also, his older brother is a hero for accepting that mommy might be so busy and spend so much energy and money on his brother but the big guy loves him and is so good to him…both my sons are Hashem’s hero’s and my hero’s!!!
bh18Participanti don’t know if you have children in the house of corelle but they are not as breakproof as they claim. i gave away what was left of my corelle sets and bought melamine dishes online. melamine look like real, look like corelle, are super strong and being that they are essentially plastic, absolutely do not break. melamine is cheaper than corelle and do not need toiveling. i have beautiful sets from target.com and walmart. com that shock all my friends with how real they look and feel. also, with melamine you could more easily get matching serving bowls and trays and such. good luck
November 10, 2011 1:23 am at 1:23 am in reply to: Jewish Crohn's & Colitis Support Group 'Education Event' #1137365bh18Participanthello, jccsg.
my 4 year old son has hirschsprungs disease and i am wondering if my coming to the event would help me to know what i can and cant include in his diet, and other info. i know hirschsprungs is not crohns but he currently has a permanent ileostomy and i need all the info and support i can get. thank you
October 3, 2011 7:27 pm at 7:27 pm in reply to: IMPORTANT: Don't forget Kiddush on Yom Kippur #1034001bh18Participantthank you so much for detailing the halacha and the way to fill it!! i am a single mom and do not always know of halachos and do not even realize or think to ask on many issues. you have done my sons and myself a huge favor and mitzvah and it should only be for a zechus for you and yours.
bh18Participanti have a beautiful green blue floor length gown to give away l’shem mitzvah. its taken in to a size 12-14 but possibly can be opened up a bit. it is tznius, has same color but shiny stones on top and on bottom where skirt opens to reveal same material underneath. its completely closed, 3/4 sleeves and worn once. moderator can be middleman.
June 20, 2011 7:52 pm at 7:52 pm in reply to: Which large appliance dealers are reasonable with good cust service? #778758bh18Participanti only and always shop for appliances in drimmers/a&b housewares on coney island avenue between ave m and ave l. their service and prices and selection is amazing!!!! their delivery is speedy and on time. i especially like dealing with marcelo-he is not in on mondays though. they could also guide you on adjusting counters and cabinets and on finding hard to find appliances. if you go to marcelo, tell him devorah says hi
bh18Participanthi there! i am a girl, an older girl at that and yes, i painted my room BLUE!!!! it is a very pale sky blue and i feel so relaxed in my dreamy room….then i have to come out!!!!!
bh18Participantwhen that happens to me, i do point it out to the cashier. when i say anything, i make sure to also say that i am an orthodox religious Jew and that i always learned it was dishonest to keep silent and that i am proudly pointing it out and wanting to pay. now, that is how to complete the kiddush Hashem. Let them know who you are and where you come from.
bh18Participantim saying 119 kuf yud tes
bh18Participantmy great aunt was 15 years old when the nazi’s took her/my great-grandmothers family to the camps. she was a beautiful and quiet girl and one of the important nazi commondmants (in charge) was instantly attracted to her. he promised her that whichever family members were in that camp would be well protected by him and his power if she would agree to live with him in his house or room on the edge of the killing fields. she agreed and the family was protected and given extra garbage to eat and slightly better fitting clothing and shoes to wear and not made to over work on shabbos and yom tov. after the war, he was killed and she and the family were placed on a train to a DP camp. she was only 18 years old and though her actions saved the family, she could not live with knowing what she had done with a nazi and she jumped out of the first train car as the train was picking up speed. she died, still al kiddush Hashem. we have not publicized the story so as not to shame her but i feel that we honor her strength and courage and love by sharing her story
bh18Participantmy son went to sleepaway camp for the first time this summer. he was so nervous until i found camp govoah run by rabbi teichman. this camp has three outstanding advantages. they have two week programs for those who want to try it out or cant afford more and my son went for the first two weeks then stayed the whole month. this summer will be his bar mitzvah b’H so he’ll be going for six weeks. also, they have a strict learning program and for boys who cant learn they have a hands on program (my son helped build the tree house!) lastly, they are the cheapest sleepaway camp and are conveniently located half hour away from other sleepaway camps in upstate new york. their phone number is 347-753-3636 and 718-252-2267 hope all this helps! hatzlocha!!
bh18Participanteclipse: i’d love to meet you… i think we’re on the same wavelength! when i was told i have to wait 3 months before remarrying, i burst out laughing. and yes, i would like to remarry…a 95 year rich man who will sign a prenuptial that i get everything when he dies!!!
December 28, 2010 11:26 pm at 11:26 pm in reply to: How to entertain 3 kids under age 4 when they can't go out to play #722163bh18Participantask my sister in law! she just had child number 6 and the oldest are 5 years old. she puts toys on the floor, bribery in her lap and says play nice! dont think it works though!!!!
December 24, 2010 5:12 am at 5:12 am in reply to: would you go into a shidduch with a boy from a divorced home? #721039bh18Participantwow…this thread frightens me! when i was contemplating divorcing my abusive spouse, i was told that my sons would have a hard time with shidduchim if i get divorced. why should they suffer in their marriage after watching their mother suffer in hers?! i finally said my son’s will have to marry open minded girls from accepting families and i do guide them and provide healthy and stable and beautiful marriages for them to see and learn from and one day emulate.
and by the way, marrying from a divorced home? maybe that child is a better person for it. when my son picked up a hand to hit me, saying “why can’t i hit you? daddy does it all the time to you!” i immediately (though it was 6 years after the wedding) asked for a get and bH got it quickly. the message to my son? never hit, never hurt another person. so yes, his mother is divorced and sadly, proud of it.
December 15, 2010 11:47 pm at 11:47 pm in reply to: Disturbing driving skills of Yeshuva Bus Driver #717646bh18Participanti saw same…driver went through TWO red lights at a fast speed. i took down the name of school, bus company, bus number and googled the phone numbers. yes, i called the school and told them they could take care of it or i will call the bus company and 311. they called back that they took care of it
December 15, 2010 10:08 pm at 10:08 pm in reply to: Does Everyone Have Their Own 'Peckel' Even Though They Look Happy? #717609bh18ParticipantECLIPSE: i don’t know anything about you but when you say you are divorced (you go girl) and you have a troubled teen (sorry) i feel for you and want to tell you of an organization for single moms. have you heard of sister-to-sister? they’re major help in many areas let me know if you want phone number
December 12, 2010 3:48 am at 3:48 am in reply to: Shaitle Fraud Chillul Hashem Video: Sha'ar haTumah haChamishim #718082bh18Participanti went to school with hudy (heidi) and i see she is still the quiet timid girl she was way back when. when teachers were upset with the class, she sat quietly. when teachers, on rare occasions, were upset with her, she answered quietly. she never wanted to make a fuss or fight back. maybe this is why when the judge accused her of fraud (something hudy would never do!) hudy just shut down.
bh18Participantyou can read the letter on shmais.com
bh18Participantto MBACHUR: go to shmais.com someone there is looking to sell a toyota sienna, i think a 2008. hatzlacha
bh18Participantthanks for your responses! i do have a special education degree and license and it is fairly simple to transfer the license to illinois. i have some siblings where i live now and amazing friends. i really need non-typical not just learning yeshivos for my sons. i also want a small town “where everybody knows your name” feel. i figure i could make new friends wherever i move and hope my sons could do the same.
November 28, 2010 2:53 am at 2:53 am in reply to: Yated: Parents Can't Afford Child's Lifestyle #712771bh18Participantwhen i was that age, i babysat or helped neighbors in the evenings after school (and still had to succeed in school) to earn money for outings and trips. my parents then would give me money, usually $10-$20, as spending money for the outing. it was a great compromise and taught me the value of money, of working for something and of appreciating what i was given.
November 23, 2010 11:38 pm at 11:38 pm in reply to: How Much Do You Pay For Your Car Registration #712327bh18Participantreally? two years ago, in NYS, i paid $75 and now they charged $132!!!
bh18Participantthey’ll have fun with me! i have to take my three year old-still in diapers-to a specialist in Cincinnati. when i go through metal detectors i beep due to wires in my jaw bones that were put in during jaw reconstructive surgery years ago. so, they’ll have to check for bombs in my mouth and what will they look for in my over three year old’s diaper? if he’s still wearing diapers it must be to hide something! also, i carry water to change his diapers, not wipes. ooh…the water must be to make a bomb while in the plane!!!
November 21, 2010 3:17 am at 3:17 am in reply to: Anyone With An Original Voicemail Message? #1193508bh18ParticipantDue to my son’s medical condition, his diaper must be changed at least every hour. Busy with him and with my 12 year old, my outgoing message is this: “hi, I’m busy changing diapers or doing homework. please leave a message and when i have a moment, I’ll try to remember and call you back.”
bh18Participantcoffee room fan: you sound like a better accountant than i had before. thanks for the tips and yes it was in the past few years. i’ll be calling an accountant soon, b’H. thanks.
bh18Participantcoffee room fan: i checked and you are right but it’s too late for me. best solution for anybody is to do what my ex did. settle on your debt then put it on your ex wife’s name (have some girl call with her info) so she’s left with the remainder of the debt and the IRS fee!!!
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