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Alizgitt i TOTALLY agree about the like button. Ive mentioned that before, even started a thread about it once…not sure why they dont add one
This way people actually have to resort to taking an extra moment and using kind words to support other’s posts and ideas. Dying concept worth keeping alive.
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from a practical viewpoint, if ur going to send a resume at all then just write the paragraphs. from my experience, it is the most annoying thing when u get a resume with just the basics. most people dont care what shul you go to, and who your relatives are.
they want to know, in ur own words, a quick summary of ur priorities and what ur looking for-and NO not just a “nice person”. of course no ones looking for a mean one.
but it gives people a lot more to build on when someone specifies things like “be happy making do with little” – “someone who loves to laugh” -” someone who loves doing fun things”- or “someone who is happy just enjoying doing nothing”.
the way you describe yourself, and the person u r looking for is a thousand times more valuable than anyone else’s account-and by the way, other people often mess things up with a distorted perception. no one knows u better than u.
this is really funny! im usualy the one defending all the dance stuff-i do hipp-hop type dance and am forever defending the funky beats and everything…
so i find it really amusing that people are defending this so passionately. do you even know what zumba is?
the dances are by definition (look them up!) designed to be provocative, sensual dances that are all about certain parts of the body arrousing….
so that’s the definition. now i think everyone needs to clear up whether or not its ok to dance like that if there are no men around.
but please. dont kid yourself that its just “excercize dance class for women”
I am so sorry you are under such pressure from this. i can give you my ideas, but i dont know if they’ll apply to you. whatever, you decide.
i really dont know your exact lifestyle, but i do know that you can be the “not spenders” type and still be paying a lot more for things that the “frugal” type wont.
for instance…
you mentioned that while you do wear nice clothes, you buy them on sale. on sale at kohls and marshalls, or on sale but still brand name? its possible to buy good clothes for cheap…my (womens) shoes average $20-$30, with some being $10 and nice shabbos ones $40 (which i splurged on). i consider tops and sweaters too expensive to buy if they’re over $15-$20.
you can eliminate/cut back on dry cleaning (invest in a few wrinkle free shirts? dont buy dry-clean only clothes)
only buy food on sale. look for items on really good sales, and stock up in your pantry. only food you will need, your basics that will last a while. buying canola oil and tuna fish for full price is ridiculous.
and cut back on expensive foods, reserve them for treats.and expensive food does not only=caviar. believe it or not, a basic salad with Bodek greens, cherry tomatos, avocado and hearts of palms can be very expensive. my family knows that hearts of palm is bought occasionaly, along with pre-checked lettuce, and frozen blintzes, yadda yadda…
avoid brand name items unless you are CERTAIN its more worth it. (rare, but it does happen.) do you need the Windex brand, or will Glass Cleaner work? Can you use Walmart brand Baby Wipes? not “Scotch” tape? etc.
UTILITIES: every tiny thing helps. every one degree lower that you set your thermostat, having the heat off while at work, not running water while doing dishes, shutting off lights not in use, ALL REALLY HELP.
all the small things add up. A Brita filter pitcher is a lot cheaper than bottled water, buy a few bottles and then re-use them by filling them up for work or whatever. dont buy coffee from a shop, its inevitably more expensive than your alternatives. have a friend cut your hair, or learn to trim your own so you can go for haircuts less frequently. see if your wife can do her own shaitel in a more easy, simple style, and save the shaitel macher for when its to be done real nice. buying small-sized snacks for your kids is much more expensive than buying a big bag of pretzels or chips and dividing it into baggies. give your kids water for school instead of snapple.
there are sooo many ways to save, and believe me, when you add it up, the ammount of extra money you have is incredible.
if you’re already living like this, then i really dont know what to tell you, and i really feel for you. please let me know if any of this helped, while i go wrack my brain for more ideas 😉
i know you dont mean any harm but these comments hurt. believe it or not, there actually are a nice ammount of kollel families out there who are NOT mooching off “rich/poor parents”. and just because you decide to try to live kollel, doesnt mean you gotta marry rich. im sick of people equating my husband learning with us living the golden road of daddy’s pocket. oot is right, please, give the sameach b’chelko crowd a little credit…
aries hit the nail on the head. if you’re a parent please read my post, im sorry its long-ish
im a young woman in my twenties now, and i’m B’H solidly frum, etc…when i was a teenager i went through a long phase of dressing not so tznius, wanting to be cool, and gobbling up secular music.
i pretty much gave my parents a lot of grief…and i credit my father 100% for why im still frum today. sadly, if he would have reacted like my mother, i for sure would have rebelled even more.
here’s the key: my mother reacted by telling me how “its not good, why are you listening to such garbage, you’re a bas yisrael, this isnt befitting for someone with such a beautiful neshama, the people whos sing this are lowlives, turn it off, its pure shmutz, etc.” all of what she said was 100% true, but did not connect with me whatsoever. i did not want to hear that, i just wanted to listen to good music.
my father however…oh what a smart man. he emphathized with me over it, and tried connecting as much as he could, and when he did have to draw the line, did it very very nicely. examples “wow, what is this music, i heard it from downstairs, what a catchy beat, terrific rhythm…ugh, but their message is ridiculous. shame we dont have such nice music with a normal message at least…oh well, enjoy” or “sweetie, try keeping it a little lower, i dont want the kids hearing this, because once they really hear it they’ll be hooked cuz its such great music…i just would rather them not know of it.” or “hey! i remember this song from when i was a kid! oh boy, now i wont get it out of my head for a week…i used to sing it all day. so much for me not listening to secular music, now i’ll be singing it for the next week!” when we’d be in a store and a song went on he’d say”i recognize this. werent you listening to it the other day?” instead of ignoring it completely or making a fuss.
basically, what my father did was identified with me and agreed that yes, the music was awesome, yes, when he heard it he couldnt help but listen. he acknowledged that i was normal for liking it, and that he too used to love listening. but that its not really ideal, and its something to work on.
you have no idea how smart that was. i felt like i could trust him because he understood me, and i opened up to him a lot.
by doing this, he also made his mussar, when he had to give it, MUCH stronger and more listened too. because he didnt flip when he heard me listening to most music, there were a few times when he heard me listening to songs that were, lets just say, really not so nice. then came “kid, throw this cd in the garbage and put on whatever you were listening to before, this is really not nice, ur probably not even allowed to listen to it halachicaly. they would never have been able to produce a song like this when i was your age, things have really changed.”
please, parents, i know it’s a lot more natural to take my mother’s approach. i see way too many ppl do it. but believe me, its not worth it. if i hadnt had my father counteracting her (TRUE!) words, i would have gone far, far off. B”H, because my father was chilled and tried connecting, i got a lot of things in a normal perspective, grew up,stayed frum and now am trying to keep my husband in kollel, while not listening to secular music.
if i was looking for someone who would be kovea itim then of course i’d consider him. why not? sounds like a fine catch. if i was looking for a full time learner then i wouldn’t, but only because in general he’s not what im looking for…
i know two people in Touro’s nursing program in boro park and they both love it, but it’s supposed to be quite hard, like most nursing schools. i think it’s a two year program. they say it’s really good and it runs acording to the Jewish calender which is a huge plus.
ahhhh thank you…see, i didnt even know that there was an inyan to wash/wet your hands even after just touching your foot…live and learn.
no i mean right when u wake up, before getting dressed, u wash ur hands….then u get dressed…then u wash again????
the netilas yadayim point reminds me of something i only just saw someone doing- are you supposed to wash your hands netilas yadayim after you get dressed in the morning? cuz i never even heard of that…
yup mazal, u r right on target. i myself happen to LOVE dance dance revolution, but after dancing on one in an arcade and convincing myself no one was watching and then realizing afterwards that heck, who am i kidding, i kinda had to stop. for those who are hard to convince, there are home versions that connect to playstation, xbox, wii, etc that are actualy really good.
The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. It was the fashion in Renaissance Florence to shave them off
moish, you’re cracking me up!
lovenlife, are you serious?????????
hahahahahahahahahahahah!
i am actualy really laughing out loud, seriously. oh wow, that was good.
were you being sarcastic?
wow, thanks
ok fine moish, so it left u feeling empty. so big whoop. there was nothing there, all emptyness and it was a big waste of time.
i can hear that.
except when you come up to shamayim, and they’re nearing the list of all the good things you’ve done, and are about to decree what level you’ll go to, and you are frantic, desperately trying to find something else….and then WOW!!!
you will be ECSTATIC when they find this. your schar, even for doing the mitzvah with no drive, no desire, and a whole lotta emptyness, STILL COUNTS.
so for now, it may not have been worth it. but who cares? we’re not living for now anyway. when u get up there, you’ll be glad you did it.
lol kapusta, thats funny
why its not a good idea to scratch a mosquito bite.
moish PLEASE PLEASE forgive me for saying this so straight, but im just not the type who butters things up.
people who actively try to improve, regardless of how successful they are, deserve to be saved by Mashiach more than those who agree it’s a good thing to do but don’t try.
hey moish i have that same question- but more. are u supposed to keep washing netilas yadayim?
Moish, guess what, about one year ago it just hit me that “Hey! I never say Modeh Ani!” it was never ever in my routine, i don’t know why cuz my house is regular frum the whole nine yards yadda yadda. (actualy, it also once hit me that i never washed netilas yadayim in the morning either)
the point is- i tried to.
and it didn’t always work.
ok, in the beginning it hardly ever worked. but the more i tried to conciously be aware of it, the more i remembered. and it went from saying it once every 2 weeks, to once a week, to half the time, and now Bli Ayin Hara i remember all the time.
so basicaly if you don’t want/feel you cant do a major change, yet u still want to rack up some schar, this is a great place to start. and the coolest thing is- u get schar for trying, even if u don’t remember!
go for it!
k, dumb question, requires not-so-dumb answer: how do u know what kind of chicken is what? ( roasting chicken, broiler fryer chicken…)
jaymatt, ur right- at least, speaking for myself.
im a girl looking for my bashert (cue: violins swelling in the background) and i would jump at a shidduch idea of a guy who went off and then came back, and now has an extraordinary, solid view on life.
they’re more real.
hey moish, what happens when ur body’s not teenaged enough to play football? what’ll u live for then?
gavra at work- hahaha! that’s actualy really funny!
hey Jaymatt, can u post the barley mushroom casserole recipe?