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I dress to kill for weddings, used to do the same when dating too.
Funny idk why i never got strange women chasing after me.
In line at shop-rite or wal-mart is another story, (and “strange” is an understatment)
However, my Rabbeim never chided me for dressing sharp as being a tempting Nisayon for Maidlach.
Unfortunately we live in a time where girls & I mean girls, not married women must use bait to catch the fish. As long as they are doing this at weddings and on dates, for the purpose of snagging
the intended mate, not going to bars & Clubs R”L,
I & you should have no problem with it.
Is it not enough that so many young girls at the shidduch age of 21-30’s are still single racking their brains to figure out what they must do (believe me they daven & say Tehillim, Perek Shira & Shir Hashirim etc..) now you want to tell them not to dress up for weddings and dates?!!.
I’m a guy, when I dated I noticed the girls that cared to look nice, be clean, dress well,(as I noticed their fine middos genuine character and sweet personality.) However, I also unfortunately
noticed the girls that came dressed like they hijacked jc penny
or the salvation army. greasy hair, worn out battered shoes.
Don’t think many of us don’t notice. Now If I get some posts like, “guys who care about looks are shallow”, etc.. either you’re hypocrites & liars, or from another planet way out.
Girls, pls do your Hishtadlus after davening etc..
look presentable, Be Tzanua & HB”H will send the right guy speedily. Also, first impressions are hard to overcome, so come dressed nicely on a first date. Hatzlacha!
phoenician; I like ur name.
After answering the door on her first date the guy asks her
“is your daughter ready?”
It is problematic for many reasons. What’s if the guy loses his hat to the winds and the girl realizes hey, “He’s bald” on the first date, or “hey he’s a half a head shorter than me.”
What’s if the girl loses her wig, and the guy realizes
“hey, she’s married before.” or
It can lead to halachic Sheilos on CR.
My date showed up wearing her rubber boots on the first date,
very casual looking. Is this normal? Maybe it’s because of the storm, or maybe she does this all the time! I don’t want to date a girl that doesn’t know how to dress for a first date.
(despite the points she scored for bringing me a poncho)
Very problematic indeed.
How’s about this guy starts talking about Irene and the cool vids he took of her. This girl fresh off the plane from brainwash camp in IL says OY VEY he knows other girls! has the Chutzpah
of video taping them? and dumps him, tells the shadchan, ruins his
name all because of a storm.
Sorry guys, no boating in bklyn.
Well just have to meet tomorrow by the delaware.
B”H!!! Almost everyone seems alright, although I got some disturbing text about a boy, R”L I hope it’s not true.
Omein! thanks YehudaTzvi, May HB”H Protect you and all yidden in L.A. From any earthquakes , other dangers may they never happen!
Only Simchas & Gishmei Bracha!
What I want to know is, if we will be able to go boating down 13th Ave tomorrow? If yes will Bloomberg find a way to give tickets.
I’m confused, did you go together with your date?
or did you date the Rov? If #1 Did he tell in front of your date?
btw, I don’t usually get confused.
ootinny; always starts the hot threads.
Don’t encourage me. 😉
ronrsr; Q Bee; Lol! I saw a pic of her on the news, knocked my socks off!
it was a head shot, aerial view actually, bad resolution. I’m sure she makes more of an impression in person.
some of my secret ingredients;
half cup beer,
at least a tbsp of tomato paste,
chili powder at least a tsp,
hot sauce, or cayenne powder, be careful,
tons of fried onions,
2-3 cloves crushed garlic
good flanken (take out bones)
Nashim Da’aton Kalos… Imho, to answer the questions posed
Lan”d
She obviously disagreed, and thought that she was an exception to the rule. The problem is this statement has nothing to do with intellect, or piety, it is of the nature of a woman that Chazal made this statement. The only way to prove this to an intellectual person who claims that they are an exception to the rule is to prove it through them.
Obviously the outcome wasn’t predictable or it would have been assur to test her. If it was a woman testing her, she probably would’ve figured suicide was real possibility, but given the different thought process and reaction of male vs. female, one could not find this choice feasible. Ask any guy if that’s what he would do.
I hope I am being clear.
(I cant believe this thread got so far) (not a post just a thought)
I need to gain weight FAST, before Irene comes.
WHO’S IRENE? Is she Jewish? If not i’m not interested. 🙂
Are you talking about our President?
There are some common sense “Tikunim” that one can do,
Like work for Hatzolah, get involved in Kiruv,
Help real poor people financially. Also support true Torah study,
especially Tikonos shel Beis Raban. Daven for people who are child barren.
I know this sounds awful but it seems like the attractive girls have no problem sending a pic while the ones who feel they aren’t nice looking (maybe it’s in your head) don’t feel it is fair.
Imho, I think that sounds about right. Those who feel comfortable should send a pic, those who don’t shouldn’t. I believe the Gamara touches upon this point to that extent by Tu B’av, the girls who had beauty to offer, offered that, those who had other things, like yichus offered that, but they were all given a chance face to face to say what they had to offer.
Saying that an unattractive girl should send a photo isn’t fair. Though I found many girls who have a low self esteem tend to feel unattractive while they are mistaken.
When I was dating I did request photographs when the girl was oot,
or said not to be slim. There is nothing wrong with seeing a photo, especially when the requesting party is particular. It only saves the opposite party time and false hopes and unnecessary emotional distress. It is better to get a no from someone you never saw, maybe they’re not that handsome, bright, or nice.
However once you meet a guy/girl who seems handsome, bright, and nice,
Then he/she tells you no after first date, not so pleasant.
I’m talking from experience, so all you posters who base your opinions on theories, talk to real people who have gone through this before you assume you have it all figured out.
ootinny; i’m happy to hear. Whom have you gotten? 🙂
I’ve gotten celebs too, like George burns. j/k
Tznius is used to describe the act of being a Tzanua.
Therefore especially in yiddish the statement “Es Iz Nisht Tznius,”
is used mainstream.
If he’s your spouse, it is your duty to teach him that although
a blackberry has many features, cooking and cleaning are just some of the exceptions. 🙂
Perhaps whenever you talk to her she’s busy with something, she just doesn’t want to be rude, but she’s not really listening.
Like when your reading online and talking on the phone at the same time.
Just ask her if it’s a good time to talk to her, or if she can suggest a better time to talk. A time when she’d not be distracted.
Wow! That is amazing!
Coming from someone who is very into gematrias.
yitayningwut; sorry but you obviously don’t know anything about gematrias. It is a pasuk talking about the earth shaking.
it is exactly the numeric value of the full day and date & year?
without any kolel filler or anything!
If you are unimpressed….maybe you need to Chazorah.
Get back to me when you understand.
Borsalino, says your a true solider, as far any other name means you’re not a serious Oiveid.
How can you penny pinch when it come to the holy service of the Master of the Universe???!!
There is a Kabolah, Ish Mpi Ish, that when it says “Thou Shalt Wear a Black Hat, it means Borsalino!
Look up the Rishonim, if you cant find it there, look in the Acharonim. You’re bound to find a Tsuvah about black hats.
Especially the ones the Roshei Yeshivah wear, that points to Shamayim, as opposed to the ones the regular people wear that points the the ground, to remind us that we are not a Gadol yet.
Goq; obviously if the slang was chosen “because they reduce their patients problems” they would’ve been called “Shrinkers”
Since the title is shrink, I propose that it referring rather to their own intellect which seems to shrink as they practice their profession, requiring them to see other shrinks themselves in the hopes of finding what they seem to have lost over the years.
I would absolutely enjoy the following doughnut.
Dark milk chocolate on the top half,
white milk chocolate on other half. filled with half caramel half regular custard with pieces of toffee inside. Topped with a coffee cream and mini marshmallows. To be had with a classic Vanilla milkshake.
Now where can i buy it?
My mouth waters and my teeth itch,
my palate yearns as my fingers twitch.
GET ME A DOUGHNUT!!!
mine could read like……
1)”always in between something”
or 2)”not the paschal one”
or 3)”just as fun as bein hazmanim”
yeah i think that sounds the best.
what do you guys think? Let’s take a vote.
I don’t you about you guys, but the most of the girls follow the Sprint’za Rebbetzin.
You take after our Founding Father Avraham Avinu A”H
He chose another path not following in his fathers footsteps.
He left his homeland set his own path following HB”H and showing people the light. He fought the world. Almost everyone was against him. He prevailed and he succeeded. His children are still a light upon the nations. Special, unique and holy. Keep on doing what’s right.
Ignore those who judge children for their parents sins,
for HB”H does the opposite. He judges people for who they are.
The reward is astoundingly more for one who has left an ancestors bad ways and has tread their own path in the light of day.
Hatzlacha!
Move, get a roomate, It’s cheaper, you wont be lonely,
it’ll prepare you for marriage. If she’s not a great roomate,
kaporas Avonos, will speed up the dating process.
hatzlacha! Welcome to NY!
i’m not sure, but it’s the opposite of ‘closegin’.
I don’t believe there is one word in the english language that describes it. That’s the beauty of yiddish.
Accept no imitation. Takeh!
There isn’t anyone who cannot agree with this. If the parents are not willing, then it is out of the question.
Although supporting a Serious Learner is a wonderful Zchus.
However, one cannot enter such an agreement if one does not have the financial means or doesn’t hold of this practice. It is wrong to enter merely based on outside pressure or society.
What bothers me is how he got into dating a girl for so long without being aware that the parents are not willing to support.
Did they mislead him, or was it the Shadchan?
Or was his asking price unreasonable?
i.e. 4 bedroom home w pool, Lexus lease, 1,000 tashen gelt per week. Idk, sounds weird.
You’ll find out if she’s normal by talking to her.
What’s done is done. You have to see if everything else was ok.
even non yeshivish girls come on 1st date dressed nicely.
Maybe your not aware of what’s considered casual or classy or formal, If your a Yeshivah guy. Do you have any sisters who you can talk to? Don’t let this seemingly little thing stop you.
And if she’s doesn’t know what the done thing is? Is she done?
Just ask her if she was rushed the last time you went out,
If you should schedule later next time.
WIY; said, “I used to wear sunglasses and I can attest that I felt different while wearing them”
Really? Different how? did you feel relieved that you can walk in the steet without having to bump into people, or was it easier to hold your bags wile not having to raise one hand to shield your eyes from the sun.
or did you feel Goyish!
Cause sometimes I feel Goyish for wearing a raincoat! I mean a goy
invented it, it’s not really a Yiddishe Malbush.
I especially feel goyish eating a slice of Pizza, Totally Goyishe.
PIZZA It sounds like Pritzus.
When it comes back into style, we want to be the FIRST to be wearing them, then US yeshivah guys will tell anyone who wants to hear it,
That WE were the ones who made it comeback.
who do you think brought thin ties into style?
Yankel Friedman thats who!
His favorite tie got a snag, went to the tailor, tailor told him can’t fix but can make it thinner, how much he asked?
$5 dollars replied the tailor. $5 dollars asked Yankle?
I’ll take two.
btw some of these hats smaller brim grey etc.. are in style.
Mod 42; i remember that KFC, mmmhm! good times! Can’t forget the taste of those chicken zingers. Great, now i’m hungry.
MPC; I understand your frustration. I once dated a girl that came to a first date w/ hiking shoes! NO! i did not indicate in any way that we were going mountain climbing or hiking.
I just realized she was a totally chilled out type, that wasn’t into the way she dressed at all and that it wasn’t for me.
Make sure to select a day and a time that is good for her,
so that she isn’t rushed or anything. Yeshivish girls DO NOT come on first two dates dressed casual. Especially not casual enough for you to be bothered by it.
If you mean wearing flats instead of heels, that’s normal, if you mean like wearing a sweatshirt, that’s not normal!
Is she’s nice looking 2u, then so what! take her to shoot some hoops or s/t, and when she ask you why, tell her you decide where to take the girl based on the way she’s dressed.
If she wants to go to a nice restaurant, she’ll get the hint.
Hatzlacha Rabboh!
TweetTweet; I know a nice few ppl who are happily married, because they gave it another shot. However, If there are major differences in hashkafa, I suggest discussing it with a Rav or a trusted Rebbe.
Since dating is w/ the intent to head into marriage,
a hopefully lasting arrangement totally dependent upon the compromise of both parties, it is counterproductive to be stubborn
when dating and dealing with a possible soulmate.
Totally insane!
Unless you’re talking about those ppl who wear sunglasses indoors
or in the winter.(not for medical reasons)… see above.
I hear that sneezing in public, especially if you are blessed with a hearty sneeze is a big no no as far as Tznius, Its draws major attention as does screaming for help while being mugged.
Yup! Totally Assur for a jewish woman to shout help or chaptzem,
while bein mugged or in danger.
Studies have shown that shouting in public draws attention to oneself, almost as much as wearing sunglasses.
yentemonkey; you are totally right in your sentiment.
Not every Mechanech in the field should be honored w/ that title.
Many unfortunately are undeserving of the title just as their
students are undeserving of being under such empty-headed, short-sighted, insensitive, inexperienced people who regretfully managed to infiltrate the Holy World of Chinuch, not being worthy of the great responsibilities or the task.
I’m happy your resentment was placed were it should be placed,
on the system, not on our religion.
Since you are now aware of this, please use your knowledge and experience to try to get involved in the future with helping the
holy neshamas of our youth rise up out of darkness and despair
to the great heights they were born to achieve.
May HB”H bless you and all of our Klal Yisroel with enormous success in all our endeavors may they all be holy and pure.
definitely creepy when the standard song is played through a broken speaker in a slow fashion, and the guy serving is has a an eye patch, wearing mechanics uniform name tag freddy with stained w/ dark red raspberry syrup or something else.
Then I hear ya.
I guess it’s too late now, but the worst thing is to not be yourself, it’s ok to be nervous, but still be yourself.
I remember when I was dating a girl her first time, she was very not herself, ruined everything. You HAVE to be youself!
If you need any advice don’t hesitate to ask, there
is tons of collective (*even uncollective) experience here at the CR.
(btw BMG guys have access to internet as do other yeshiva guys unfortunately)
*V’hamevin Yovin
Not every certified life coach is really qualified in being an actual life coach, you should seek someone who is a little older and has actual life experience as opposed to some young shnook that did a course.
This is common sense and goes without saying, although I find that many times stuff that are should be common sense somehow isn’t so common as the saying goes.
hows about Q bar?
as is BBQ, it has to flow and grill bar/baguette bar is a little rough. I’m pretty good w/ hip names, although after googling the
name i’m not so sure its a good idea. maybe “the Q”
The message is, wake up from your slumber! Anything can happen anywhere. Don’t build your dwellings as if they are permanent,
only temporary.
Do we really want out of this Galus? or are we extremely comfortable living in B.P. F.B. Lakewood, SI, Monsey, Monroe, etc..
Are we really waiting to pack up and go to yerushalayim
on a moments notice?
If you put your trust in society, bank account, so called civility
of your country, community, alarm systems, gated secure mansion,
instead of in HB”H you are not really safe.
This is my interpretation.
IrFlatbush; Thanks, It’s a sensitive situation and has to be entered w/ sensitivity. I suggest you Daven to HB”H it should go smoothly.
I wish you much Hatzlacha!
Though I didn’t read your post, I’m with you on the Facebook issue, ESPECIALLY for teenagers. Enough said.
Facts are facts, even if you’re unaware of them or choose to ignore them.
Anyone who disagrees with this, no offense, either has their head in the sand, or far worse, must be stuck on another planet, not just any planet, but Pluto, a dwarf planet at best.
Don’t be so mean, maybe the poster is trying to hide his writing style, either way it is extremely immature how some posters get on their high horse about how literate (yawn) they are. (not really)
Yay! You’re so perfect! You want an award?
Most of these posters grammar is atrocious to say the least.
Get someone who’s worse than they are and out come the goody two shoes.
I’m sure every single one of you understood him. If not, then
it’s your being slow that should worry you, not his spelling.
yic, sorry about that. It’s normal to be nervous, as long as it is a positive nervousness, not negatively influenced by things that you’re already not happy with. Talk it over with your kallah, i’m sure she’s nervous too. You can comfort each other. Hatzlacha Rabbah!
I consider it a yeshivishe color, & totally ok.
Of course its not your typical Sem girl color,
or mainstream chareidi, it seems kind of funny though cuz
everything else is so black about the way our chareidim women(& men) dress i.e. tops, skirts, dresses,socks, etc..
why not black polish?
As long as the rest of the outfit is tznius,& doesn’t scream
Punk, or Machsefa, I don’t see the problem.
lvsbngjwsh;
What exactly is wrong with black nail polish in itself?
Doesn’t sound good to me, I sure hope i’m wrong.
Some parent’s today are crazy, letting all this crises talk get to their heads. Then there’s the just plain old fashion crazy, trying to tell their kid to marry who they, the parents want not what good for the child.
I hear this story way too often.
Again, I really hope i’m wrong.