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WolfishMusings; first of all it was an example, & is easily understood using the red color as the expression goes, & many or most don’t know that according to scientists bulls as well as other cattle are red-green color-blind.
the red color was also to allude to the opinion that wearing red draws attention to one’s self, as we are talking about dressing tznius. Thank you for your clarification, my point still clear. Wishing a Gut Yom Tov to all!!!
Let us accept the torah anew this year with all it’s commandments (including V’hiyisem kedoishim) & V’hoyoh Machanecha Kodosh!
B’izchus this Kabbolah we shall surely merit to see the Geulah speedily in our times!
oomis1105 said; “However, the Muslim response to that is to put women in a chador or burquah, and only allow her eyes to show. So maybe the problem is with the man, and not the woman. Maybe men need to learn more self-control. I love the smell of a BLT, but I am not going to eat it.”
What does that have to do with the price of camels in Iran?
We are practicing jews, not arabs!!!
1)The torah wants jewish women to be clean well dressed, look nice & representable, the exact opposite of muslims.
A Bas Melech does not wear rags!!!
The Torah expects women to look nice & dress well according to the halachos of TZNIUS!!
A Bas Melech should dress with honor & class befitting the Royalty of HBH!!!
and as for comment of men learning self control, when a woman dresses immodest causing men temptation, she is Oiver L’ifnei Iver Lo Titen Michshol!!!
That is exactly what we are talking about! We aren’t talking about a woman that dresses tzniusdig and a man stares at her.
(just an example)(i’m not comparing man to a bull)
Go in front of a bull waving a big RED cloth, and tell
the bull “Don’t Charge!” “Control Yourself!…..
That’s Stupid!!! ……Don’t provoke it!!!
How about someone goes in front a woman thats on a diet, dangling a delicious piece of chocolate or some other one
of her favorite foods that she is not allowed to have, & says “don’t think about this delicious chocolate bar.”
“Control yourself!” Is that fair? Imagine its to you oomis1105? Would that be fair?
oomis1105 said; “a woman’s sense of fashion and desire to (be) well-dressed, which has NOTHING whatsoever to do with lack of self-esteem, and everything in the world to do with wanting to look pretty.”
So you’re saying that pretty means wearing shortskirts…. exposing what should be covered?
Oh! i’m sorry! I though pretty was just being good looking.
So your saying someone who isn’t pretty, when they wear revealing clothes they have a transformation?
Being well dresses & being under dressed are two different things.
I’m surprised you can’t tell the difference!
And as for bnos Yisroel who have a need to dress strikingly immodest & “prust” They usually suffer from a lack of self esteem,(maybe denial issues too)
and I quote you oomis1105 “If you ask most women, they are dressing to impress other women, not men”
YOU SAID IT!!! THATS ALSO A LACK OF SELF ESTEEM!!!!!!
OMG! IDK Wha u tlkng bout? R u 4 sure? Cuz I dnt c a rush.
lol! Gtg, bbs ttyl!!! 😉
hereorthere; I have davened in quite a few young Israel shuls throughout the U.S. If not for them I wouldn’t have a minyan.
Most of them them were more than fine.
some probably have a frumer oilem than where you & I daven!
Drinking coffee throughout the first night. I have seen this minhag done almost in every kehillah & by many ehrliche Yidden.
What defines an Orthodox shul?
A shul filled with many doctors.
SJSinNYC said; “I doubt the inch on the knee is why a man is having taavos. Usually, it has to be something more extreme.”
unless you are a guy, which I remember from way back you are not, you cannot possibly understand anything about a man’s taaivos or nisyonos, just as it wouldn’t be right for me to make a statement as if i understood the struggles of being a religious woman.
If men were generally behaving in a way that put women in a serious nisayon on a daily, secondly basis, we’d be sure to hear of it, just the fact that young men learning (or just not working)sending their wives into the workforce & not giving them the time of day, & neglecting their feelings has caused many to seek the attention of their bosses & coworkers
leading to disasterous results with girls from good homes.
No offense but the women who defend not being dressed tzniusdik are Nogeah B’davar. In my professional experience it usually stems from a low self esteem and a need to be looked at,
get attention, be the center of attention.
The other main reason is simply not being aware of halachas & middos of tznius. More modern generations & parents who carved their own path away from what they saw by their parents & grandparents hence leaving their children in a state of cluelessness.
Yet another reason is peer pressure & monkey see monkey do syndrome. These girls imitate popular classmates, also when they get older they’re convinced that if they are not totally into
the latest styles it will affect their shidduch,
the latter being the boys or rather their mothers fault.
We need to educate the masses saying this is NOT ok!
If this seems offensive, please read it again. I am merely trying to introduce some elements that may shed light upon the root of this
issue.
I am a very private person & I value other ppls privacy too,
so I would prob deny it, though I would continue posting as before.
There’s like only a few ppl who know my true identity
(unless someone blabbed!)though I don’t believe they are frequent posters. It’s nice to get into a heated discussion with no shouting, just CAPS!! One can always get to the truth & root of something when enough ppl & a variety of opinions are shared,
(or forced upon us) 😉
Sedomah, I can’t believe some people name their girls Isabel
even though in english it sounds like a nice name,
though the name comes from Izebel the Rashanis. see below..
Jezebel in the 1st Book of Kings, Phoenician princess, wife of King Ahab, mother of Ahaziah, Jehoram, & Athaliah.
She encouraged worship of Baal, including the worship of
Asherah or Asheroth & persecuted the prophets of her day.
Jezebel was the bitter foe of Elijah Elijah Elijah’s prophecy of Jezebel’s doom was fulfilled when Jehu triumphed over the house of Ahab. In Revelation, her name is applied to a false prophetess of Thyatira. “A Jezebel in common usage is a wicked woman.”
Dr P. wrote “I’m curious 2 know how many of the people these
stories happened w/ got 2 relive the experience by reading it here!”
I was wondering the same thing. Actually that’s one of the reasons I cant divulge my most embarassing dating stories.
1)I don’t want to remind these poor girls.
2)My stories r uniquely me & I dont wanna reveal my identity.
3)It might make me seem like a shlemazel.
(the guy the soup gets poured on!)
All that know me, know that I have this interesting mazel thing. Let’s leave it at that.(I fear I said too much)
Oh! so now y’all think u know me? No! I’m not “that” guy!
(…..or am I?)
I dont think she dreamed that this was the reason!
I heard he has (or had) money.
emoticon613; I hear ya, believe me, I understand the
agmas nefesh, but “worthless shidduchim!?”
when I was dating, I wud be very makpid not 2 say anything negative about the seldom “really over the moon girls”
even though it’s frustrating, like “what on earth was the shadchan thinking?! One time I almost drove to the bronx cuz I was embarassed to be seen with a certain girl
& I didn’t want 2 get out of the car.
Nevertheless, she had no clue and I treated her with the utmost respect (as she deserves) didnt even bring her home early
as I didnt want to insult her, or make her feel insecure.
My point is everything that gets redt 2 u, is 4 a reason,
& don’t look at them like they’re worthless, just…
Not Nogeah! Hatzlacha!
B-Ein -70
(I know it’s Beis Yud Ende-Nun) So what! 😉
I’m happy to see this thread current, Dr. Pepper, ur stories are
hilariously appreciated. (you must’ve had a wacky time dating.)
K, True story! Not so much funny as surprising.
My friends, friend,calls this girl he’s been dating a few times, & tells her to bring a change of clothes comfortable footwear etc.. something about a long drive and water..
Picks her up at her home, drives straight to the airport
proceed to the gate having purchased two tickets to miami
for the day, they go there and come back later that night.
I Don’t think they’re married.
paschabchochma; There are different views of Gehinnom,
described by chazal, none of them sound enticing at all.
To those who said Gehinnom is a good thing, NO, it is not!
That is why we say everyday in the Yehi Ratzon we should be
saved (spared) from the din of Gehinnom.
Ultimately though, it is a major chessed from HB”H allowing
those who have strayed from the path of truth and have become stained with impurity, to have a way of being purified,
if they have not done enough on this world to correct their ways, and cleanse themselves properly.
paschabchochma; I would try to focus on Gan Eden with this girl,
as obviously if she worries about gehinnom, she must certainly believe there is a Gan Eden for the righteous. You can ask her what she feels her versions of Gan Eden would entail, how she would feel if she ended up there, or would she wish she could end up there, Always focusing on the positive. You can also mention in navi those who were wicked & evil & managed to change their ways to the extreme, finding forgiveness and redemption.
Surely she doesnt consider herself worse than them.
Talk to her philosophically and hypothetically,
let it sink in, letting her come to her own conclusions.
As sadness and fear have a power, so does happiness and faith, and the power of joy outshines and blinds its rival tenfold.
Hatzlacha!
Sorry if i missed something, (I havent got the time to read through all these posts)
popa_bar_abba; First of all I make a Macho’oh on your knocking
of segulos and their power. Although I agree that people shouldn’t make it an Ikur, however, trying to discredit something that is way beyond your comprehension is just juvenile!!!
Secondly, your earlier comment about success after your post,
is somehow trying to hint that knocking segulos, is a segulah!
So make up your mind!
We are never really as wise as we think we are.
bein_hasdorim
-professional poster
It is best to think before thinking,
then think again before speaking,
imagining yourself saying those words out loud, then imagine what the reaction
of the people around you will be, to your comments, then if you’re sure they will
be appreciated go ahead and speak.
I’ts easier typed then done though!
Yanky; I take it going to your parents is outta the question.
I agree with oomis1105, perhaps you can invite some other single
guy or guys who need a quiet place to spend the seder.
you can be mekayem the big mitzvah of hachnosas orchim, & say kol dichfin
with meaning.
Whatever you decide you wont be alone at the seder as it says that
HB”H comes down with the whole pamalia shel Mailoh to watch how his
kinderlach perform the seder, pesach night.
Hoshata Hocha, L’shanah Haboh B’ar’oh D’yisroel.
d a! them’s fighting words!!! Actually…. SUPER IDEA!!!!
I will have to put my lounge project on hold as this is Pikuach Nefesh!!!
…That is if you arent gonna sue me for stealing your idea.
Do I have your written consent?
I’ll sell them in the lounge, i’ll of course offer a discount to my loyal customers.
I have friends that we all knew were looking for a supermodel, then they ended up picking some really under average looking girl
and they are convinced that they got a supermodel.
Beauty, really is in the eye of the beholder!
Just remember, you might be turning down someone that’s just not photogenic.
There is a certain chein that come with a live person
that no picture or photograph can capture or convey.
This chein is usually the major factor in what make someone go for the shidduch.
Whoever judges a person from a picture is not making a sound decision, for they do
not have all the information. One who really wants to find their BASHERTEH,
should tremble at the concept of eliminating a potential BASHERTEH by glancing
at a mere photograph, that captures only a millisecond of a whole Olam Katan!
EDITED
Ma-Roar – what happens when you accidentally knock your wine filled becher
over the couch.
The mirrer Yeshivah in Yerushalayim offer 2 types of insurance for all bocherim from abroad.(Mandatory) A basic hospitalization coverage etc..
or a more extensive coverage, for a little more.
I’m surprised the Yeshivahs & koilelim & sems don’t offer something.
Anachnu Bimkoimeinu, V’heim B’makom Acher.
B’makom Sh’ein Ish.(literally)
volvie; I don’t know what ur talking about!
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.
.
.
(Shhh! Zi Leint maneh Rayd.) 😉
Pictures MUST be a two-way street. You give, you get!
They also must be returned.
Israeli Day Parade?!! C”V! Us religious yidden do NOT support a government
that is against our Jewish Religion, heritage, & traditions.
I am talking about a rally thats an actual mitzvah, Like demonstrating the desecration of our ancestors holy burial sites, a Respective “NON violent”, protest against
the chilul Shabbos going on in a religious neighborhood.
If there would be someone wrongly arrested and imprisoned etc….
Most of our guys are in Yeshiva, working, I think a drastically larger amount
of our women & young women have the time to represent more of our nation.
(Then again with the koilel wives B”H….. perhaps not.)
volvie; Most if not all Yidden I know go to a rally for the cause,
L’sheim Mizvah. They really want to help,& believe & hope it will help.
Telling these people not to go, for it is not proper will only take away
from their ratzon to help. What will they do instead of being active &
going to rallies? I don’t know.
I’m not sure they’ll go home & bake cookies for charity.
They might go hang out etc.. Most of our rebellious youth have no problem
investing their time & strength to help others.
They just need & like to be where the action is.
volvie; Not every woman is under the same opinion or practice
as I hope you are well aware.
It it is better for a Yotzanis to be at rallies for a yiddishe cause,
Then to be in other places that are not only not productive to their ruchnius,
but detrimental to it.
I’m sure all the Koilel guys who have their wives working two jobs
so they can learn, agree with you that “A woman’s place is at home.”
Please go show them “Kol Kvuda Bas Melech Pnima”
and if they have an excuse the same excuse could be applied to going to
a rally for a mitzvah!
sm29; Thanks! I try, 😉
smiling; Please don’t tell me you haven’t noticed the similarities of snowflakes
& cholent.
This topic was already covered extensively on another thread.
Please see our collective pearls of wisdom at aforementioned thread.
(as well as my own comments which cover the issue very fairly and thoroughly.)
if you have a hard time ask the mods to direct you G-luck, Omnivore.
jphone; Oy vey! She was holding up a sign too! well that’s already too much!
unless the sign was bigger than her. Then it would count as a Mechtiza & even
the YWN CR poskim would have to agree that it is ok.
Metziut; Yup! the rallies will only be held bein_hasdorim, Bein_hazmanim!!!
spread the word!
I also think it’s very important to note that..
No Cholent Tastes the Same!!!
That also goes to show you the special uniqueness of every individual in klal yisroel.
I can only imagine if one would mix all the cholents in klal yisroel together
what a scrumptious symphony of flavor that would create.
Most of what you need to know about dreams according to chazal is in the end of Mes’ Berachos.
My minhag is, wine b4 challah, fish b4 soup, cholent b4 bed, bed b4 1:00.
Guests when ok with the balabusta, friends every Shabbos night,
I have a chavrusah.
Socializing is ok, but the schmoozing tends to end up with loshon hora
better add bed b4 friends. especially shabbos which is so holy you don’t want to
spend it yenta-ing away. If you just have nice positive conversations, cheers!
GIRLS INSENSITIVITIES
<
SEE Original Poster.
Why not??? Rallies are are a good place to find a shidduch….
wait a second…… I think I can solve the shidduch crises…….
MORE RALLIES!!!
Rallies against the shidduch crises!!!
Shidduch Rallies. Wow!!!
Posting our problems on YWN really bears results.
Please stay tuned for our upcoming First Annual Shidduch Rally in NYC.
(R.S.V.P. as suggested above ;-))
🙂 LOL!!! If the mothers of the boys would test the girls they’d NEVER pass!!!
and they’d probably quit dating all together, then there would be a whole other
shidduch crises. Potential Shvigger Meddlingitis, not good at all.
Don’t worry, if he’s watching you too intently, he’s probably testing you. 🙂
Eliezer tested Rifka Imeinu to see if she was worthy of Yitzchok, and to enter
Avrohom Avinu’s Family & she passed with flying colors!!!
In This sense I mean testing. Like bringing up a a story or a hypothetical
about being sensitive to other poeples feelings, and seeing her reaction,
if she really gets it or it just doesn’t have an impact. There is no exact science
to this but if you’re tuned into people, you can get a good feel for a
midah that she or he doesnt seem to be tuned into, after bringing it up
at different times in different ways.
I really don’t mean putting someone into a difficult situation
to see how they act.
Although if Hashgocha Protis sends a situation, PLEASE be tuned into
the person and how they react it is a sign from HB”H
those who are tuned into the right station will get the message loud and clear,
while those who are to busy with Chiztonius, (outer appearance only)
might be left with just that.
Whoa! I have so much to say here, but no time now, so here goes…
I know some of you will go crazy if I tell you guys & girls to test your dates,
but the truth is it is a great thing to do If you are NORMAL & REASONABLE.
Since the previous traits are up for debate if you really have them,
I wouldn’t suggest testing
Like guys… don’t pour orange soda over her dress to see if she gets angry
that’s just nuts!!!
or girls… don’t put chewing gum on his chair when he excuses
himself to go to the restroom, (really checking his cell)
that’s just crazy!!!
But if you are sure your normal (get 3 friends to agree to that)
& your test is very reasonable plus it shows a foolproof reliable results
as to what you were looking to confirm. Go Ahead!
Disclaimer:
Know this though, if you really are a little meshuggah this might cause
you to lose a really good shidduch, so tread carefully!!!
AD D’LOY YODAH!…..AD, V’LOY AD B’ICHLAL!!!
Icot; I’m so sorry just read your post after I posted.
CoH; you can disregard my babbling…
CoH; Definitely Alcohol for any polished surface like glass, plastic, etc..
wood, if it is not finished i’m not sure it will work as well,
but it wont ruin non treated wood. However with your dresser i’m not sure
if the finish will get ruined. If it’s painted, it shouldn’t be a problem.
To be on the safe side though, I suggest trying it out on a small
non visible area, like inside the dresser, first.
Hatzlocha!
Not to Florida, went there, was tripping over 3/4 of BP, FB, & Lawrence.
So many young girls just running around crowding up the restuarants,
letting us all wait on line for ages. J/K they have a right to enjoy themselves
like the rest of us, just as long as you dont overcrowd the Battei Medrashim.
😉
She really earned her museum addmission, & lunch in NYC. 😉
em es; That happened to me too. It was a daytime date, I unknowingly made a right
turn onto an ave that was illegal during those hours. a cop spotted me & signals me
to pull over. I did & told him “officer i’m so sorry, I didnt realize, I’m on a date etc..” The girl was cool and started backing me up, with the cop & telling him to please not ticket me. B”H he said “ok be careful & have a nice time!”
Although we can never have enough Hakoras Hatov to HB”H,
doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try!
About gratitude to others… it goes into how one was raised,
and how one is in tune with ones self as well as their environment.
Some ppl think everyone owes them etc… and some ppl just don’t think!!!
I’m not sure which is worse!