Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Avram in MD: Great points applicable to anyone. Sincere Baalei Teshuva are usually stronger in their yiddishkeit and don’t take everything for granted.
Personally, out of the people I know that went off the derech, almost all were FFB’s. I think in many of those cases, everything was by rote and they didn’t appreciate what Torah Judaism really is.
I’m an FFB who grew up in Boro Park and it took a while to gain the appreciation that a Baal Teshuva often has.
If someone is solid in their yiddishkeit, the fact that they may be a Baal Teshuva shouldn’t be a factor. The case sited above makes it even more so, in that you wouldn’t have family conflict over religion that some Baaslei Teshuva, whose family weren’t supportive have.
Dennis Prager is a bright guy and always has something interesting to say.
Religious wise, he’s conservative, so I would check into the book before giving it as a gift.
147: Never marrying is worse. How would anyone know that they’ll get divorced? If you marry for he right reasons, have reasonable expectations and deal with differences and disagreements properly, divorce shouldn’t have to be a factor.
There are valid reasons for divorce, but I would think that in many cases, divorces could be avoided.
It seems that all may not be as portrayed? http://text.rcarabbis.org/the-kosher-switch-a-response-from-the-tzomet-institutes-rabbi-yisrael-rosen/
Innocent until proven guilty? When I lived in NY, quite a while ago, I had a friend who worked for Parking Violations. He said that they had a higher conviction rate than the old Soviet Union.
akuperma: Have a little emunah. Nothing will happen to us. You’re probably more in danger than we are, as many Kabbalists have said.
Bottom line is you can’t make peace with an unwilling party. It isn’t even an issue of territory, as evidenced by the Arabs rejecting every offer they were given, even when it is almost everything they wanted.
This is all about their religious theology, which believes that there has to be a cataclysmic battle for their last Imam to come. There is nothing we can offer, short of committing mass suicide, that would please them.
There are not always a solution for everything. We just need to have faith in Hashem and know that He has a plan and everything will be ok.
For our part, we also have to have some self respect and not allow our enemies to dictate things to us. It shows weakness and they exploit it and make more demands in return for nothing.
akuperma: You can only make peace with a willing reasonable peace partner. No such entity exists. To think otherwise is living in fantasy land. We have to pay attention to what they do and what they say to each other, not the nonsense they play for world consumption.
akuperma: That’s your practical solution? Aside from the fact that it’s not 1918, what did the Arabs do in in 1929 in Chevron and other such instances before there was a state. They are far more radicalized now and would try to butcher us.
The Arabs don’t really want a so-called Palestinian State, only the means to destroy us and they’ve said so themselves.
They do have administrative autonomy in the areas in which they live.
Israel should annex the whole thing, offer citizenship to the Arabs who declare their allegiance to the State and pay the rest to leave. Obama is allowing many Muslims into the U.S., so you can have them all. The U.S. will become just like Europe thanks to the President some of you love so much.
Their numbers are greatly exaggerated as they rely on the Arabs for the information and we know their propensity for telling the truth.
IY”H, Moshiach will be here soon and the whole issue will be rendered moot.
Is it better to have tension, friction, and misunderstandings after the marriage?
The Gog: Exactly the point. If the girl was worth the 8 cow s-i-l they wouldn’t need the offer. If she is not and someone takes the offer, how good a marriage will it be if they are on vastly different levels?
Some Ashkenazi in Israel will use Sfardi soft matzoh on Shabbos.
Paying Shadchonis gelt is customary and all fine and good, but the amount gives the impression that there is something wrong with the girl.
sirvoddmort: Not the case at all. It was but one of the points. Thew main point is that it keeps us save and away from hostile Arab areas.
I would love to see the anti-smartphone leadership deal with real issues that are harming people, like; domestic abuse, child abuse, molestation’s, etc. That, they sweep under the rug and the fact that molestation’s do drive people off the derech doesn’t seem to matter to them, just the phone is the cause of all the world’s ills.
mw13: While I do acknowledge your valid point, but the overriding reason, that I use it far exceeds any issue that I would never use it for.
I do find it funny that a Chareidi guy at an anti-smartphone rally was videotaping it on his smartphone.
Ever since this controversy, I find myself checking what type of phone people are using. I find that more than half of Chareidim have smartphones. People are responsible for their actions. I think that the whole issue is still overblown and that many people aren’t following those trying to stop its use and it increases the chances that their followers won’t listen when they absolutely should.
I heard a comment from a very wise Rov. He said and i’m paraphrasing “pick your fights, otherwise you just cause harm to everyone.”
oomis: I had some recently, for the first time in my life. It was actually good, but it made no sense to me to make chicken that taste like fish. A few people in here did give some good reasons.
showjoe: I can’t use my computer for Waze. It’s too big. Also, I’m not speaking for others, but you have to be nuts to go to those sites anyway. For many of us, the smartphone is a necessity.
People who work on behalf of the community. Very little thanks, lots of grief.
takahmamash: Very true and we did practice what we preach and made Aliya.
Bookworm: A number of Kabbalists have made the same basic point as you.
akuperma: Aside from the fact that the accusation about trying to destroy Torah is false and was a political ploy by Chareidi politicians to try to deal with people that have different views. Having a different perspective than most of us have, does not mean they are trying to destroy Torah. Taking a position to get Chareidim out of poverty, though they went about it like fools, is a position shared by many Chareidim themselves.
The real point I want to make to you is this; you seem to put your faith in the American government, even in light of what VP Biden said about who will be the only one ot protect Jews when the time comes.
While few of us like the status of the Israeli government, we don’t put our faith in any government. Everything is ba’dai Shomayim. I know you understand this but you just let your feeling about the Israeli government get in the way.
We know Moshiach is getting close. It should become more apparent already that Hashem decided that this is the best way of bringing about the Geulah.
Things will get rougher but we should have emunah and everything will work out.
showjoe: Kids are a different issue and I was not referring to them. That’s a parental responsibility to filter it and better yet, not to have internet access on it for kids. Also, to monitor what they do on their home computers.
We always kept our home computer in a very public place, in addition to filtering it.
chayav inish livisumay: Women exist, that’s a fact. If the ad is Tznius, what’s the big deal. I think it speaks more to the mentality of a man’s lack of control than anything else.
There was just a story of an ad for children’s shoes being barred because it showed a 3 year old girls feet wearing shoes and socks. It just seems that their is something perverted in that thinking. You’d have to be pretty sick to get excited over that.
mw13: We can have a civil conversation about anything, except that I won’t tolerate someone attributing something to me that I never said or that they’ve taken what was said grossly out of context or twisted into something else.
The correct reaction to something that was publicly done wrong is a worthwhile conversation. We were taking about the reaction to criminal behavior and the resulting Chillul Hashem, not about giving someone mussar over what we may thing is a Tznius issue.
An honest conversation is always welcome.
mw13: And there are Hashgochos who researched it further and changed their minds. Also, making a comment about the “chumrah of the month club” doesn’t belittle anyone, as no one was mentioned.
While i’m not a big fan of the Star-K, I did read their report on the issue and the testing that they did.
It’s not a Halachic position of mine, since I really don’t care about it, but I do believe in the truth and everyone can do as they wish.
Letakein Girl: That was an aside comment not the crux of my comment. Most of the use of a smartphone is in public, so it is less likely used for smut than someone using their computer in private.
The whole smartphone issue is so overblown and just diverts from far more important issues.
zahavasdad: you’re correct, but Israel is not a clear cut Sephardic country so you in effect go by the community in which you live. Most communities are very mixed, but that’s how we Jews like it, the more confusing, the more to argue over, lol
As to Quinoa, the Star-K tested and researched it and proved that Quinoa is not kitniyos and as you say, the issue has gone wild and taken on a life of it’s own. That’s the times we live in. The Chumrah of the month club run amok.
charliehall: To make the point, it was better using the longest time period on record.
Another point, while we don’t change our minhagim because of it, it seems to me though I can’t say for sure, but in all likelihood the Sephardic minhagim are more correct than ours, since they were closer to the source than we were.
yayin yashan bkli chadash So you see what I mean! I’m curious if those opposing smartphones understand that it is nothing more than a computer? I just never hear those people say both things together.
I understand the filter issues and the desire to limited exposure to negative influences, but just walking in the street exposes you to it.
From my perspective, it’s like the gun issue. Who/what is to be blamed for someone getting shot, the gun or the shooter?
There are good and bad aspects to most things. We can’t shut ourselves off from the world completely.
In reality, what do we have on our smartphones. I have a Siddur, Tehillim, a luach, waze, what’sapp and Arutz 7. Ok, I also have chess and sodoku. So why is this a big deal?
mw13: Not to get into another discussion that will be twisted into something else, but the Kitniyos prohibition is about 800 years old, not thousands. This doesn’t change the fact that we don’t use it.
From discussions, in Israel, of people that I’ve heard about the subject. The Ashkenazim in favor of eating kitniyos is because they feel that it’s time to move past those takanas of certain segments of the population, to minimize division among the people and create more uniformity in Halacha and to end the Golus mentality in general.
It would take the Gedolim to change it for most of us to accept eating Kitniyos, but it really has nothing to do with political philosophy or any intent to cause harm, quite the contrary.
I have not seen this being an issue in Chutz La’Aretz. In Israel, it’s a little more complicated and much harder to shop for Pesach, though it is improving.
mw13: This is getting a bit ridiculous and obviously too complicated for you.
I wasn’t talking about giving mussar to anyone. You brought that up. My point was making excuses and/or defending someone harming others. Speaking up on issues made public is to minimize and counter the Chillul Hashem that was made. Silence or excuse making only creates the public perception that we agree with the bad behavior and it gives fodder for the anti-semites out there.
Is it possible for you to understand a subject without twisting it into something else?
yayin yashan bkli chadash: Think of it like this. You are driving in Israel without waze and you accidentally turn into a hostile Arab area. Is your life in danger or not?
It actually happened to someone I know and B’H, a decent Arab got him out of there alive…barely!
mw13: I suggest you go ask your Rov if it’s appropriate to give mussar, whether it’s on tznius or anything else, when you know the person won’t listen.
Also, the issue of whose standards of tznius is also a factor, like the wacko Jews wearing their version of a burka.
Also,yours is not a good analogy. A person lacking tznius harms themselves. The Jewish criminal harms others and yiddishkeit in general and making excuses or defending them is insidious.
While it’s expensive anyway, we end up buying a lot of things we don’t really need. It’s only a week.
That being said, we did have chocolate leaf cookies brought to us in Israel. That’s a necessity.
Best to keep a record from one year to the next, so as not to overspend in the future.
ubiquitin: Like every other thread, it was an extension of a conversation, in that, people put too much emphasis on the external and look down on others that don’t see it the same way.
BTW, I do wear a black hat but have no problem with others who do not.
mw13: You don’t give mussar to someone who won’t accept it. Also, whoever does give mussar should have the tact to do it correctly, otherwise you just do more harm.
“we should not be silent when someone makes a Chilul Hashem and harms people as well.”
I said this with the thought of people making excuses or denying when faced with overwhelming evidence, for criminal behavior, including molestation’s when someone is from a group they identify with.
chacha5: A smartphone is no worse than a computer (you can disable filters too). Are you willing to get rid of yours?
Like anything else, there is good and bad in everything. Self control is the key. If you drive and don’t have a smartphone to use Waze, you could be risking your like. Waze is much better than a regular GPS.
ubiquitin: Are you kidding? You couldn’t figure out what I was saying? It wasn’t plain enough?
You can certainly tell if someone is a mentch, if they are honest and decent. Do they behave as a Jew should.
On these type web sites, you see people making excuses or justifying bad behavior because they are affiliated with certain groups, or look and dress the part. You also see people attack or make fun of those who may have different backgrounds and perspectives, especially if they don’t wear a particular group’s “uniform.”
A minor example; I was at a Chasunah years ago. A young guy with Smicha was called up for a Brocho under the Chupah. It was primarily a Yeshivish crowd. The person called up was a Kiruv Rabbi who helped the Kallah become Frum. The Bais Yaakov girls in the audience gasp when they saw the person going up for a Brocho. He was wearing a light colored suit. So despite all the good this person does, he was judged negatively by the color of his suit. I find that reprehensible.
To me, I find it embarrassing when someone “Frum” does something illegal or immoral. I won’t make excuses for that no matter who the person is. Granted, no one is perfect, but there are accepted norms and we should not be silent when someone makes a Chilul Hashem and harms people as well.
People should be treated based on their behavior, for the good or bad and it shouldn’t matter if they belong to your group or not. Good behavior is good behavior no matter what group you are affiliated with and no excuses or justifying bad behavior because they are supposedly closer to us. That makes us guilty as well.
ubiquitin, is it clearer for you now?
ubiquitin: The Israeli’s aren’t letting anything. Israel was going to attack, but Obama prevented it by exposing parts of the plan, like where Israel was to refuel and also prohibited Israel from flying over Iraqi territory when the U.S. has control of it.
Before Obama’s first election, someone I know, who is one of the Torah Code researchers told me that they ran McCain and Obama’s names, when McCain was up in the polls.
I don’t remember the exact location in the Torah this came up, but the results led them to believe that Obama will win and that he will be so bad for us, that it will lead to Moshiach.
While I certainly understand the symbolism behind the manner of dress, I think people should put more emphasis on the internal than external factors.
I know plenty of people who wear a kippa seruga that are “Frummer” than others I know who wear a black hat.
While this is an extreme example, the guy selling treif chickens, as kosher, in Monsey wore a black hat, gave shiurim and was a very well respected member of the community. He may look the part, but that’s where it ended.
People shouldn’t be so hasty to judge and pigeonhole others by the external.
It bottle may say “Advil,” but we can surmise what’s really in it.
Joseph: You missed the point. People often give their kids Yiddish names, named for a relative, as they were called in Europe. Many of those names were combinations of two names merged as a nickname and not their given Torah name.
Also, I can mention some Yiddish names that are way to horrible to give a kid. When you have kids, ask and I’ll tell you, but only if you’ll use them.
Most all grandparents want their kids and grand-kids to come for Yom Tov. The complaint is from those whose children don’t help. So, either help or invite your parents to you and see how much work is involved.
At a certain point, as parents age, it becomes to difficult to do all the work needed.
Parents with considerate kids don’t complain and do look forward to it.
Davka Graphics had a CD, not expensive, that is used for most every type of simcha. It had a data base and checklists for everything.
I used it years ago and it was excellent. I assume they have an upgraded model now.
Lots of Yiddish names were nicknames and abbreviations of two names. We should be giving Hebrew names, not Yiddish, so I suggest you find a Hebrew equivalent, unless its for a parent and the name wouldn’t embarrass the child.
I loved my In-Law;s AA’H, but when they suggested horrible names, I felt bad, but had to say no. Good thing my wife felt the same way.
apushatayid: There is a Rov and he said the same thing, but doesn’t want the Machlokes that it would take to stop the practice.
On a practical basis, while people saying Kaddish are not happy about it because it forces them to stop and wait, and their concentration is thrown off, no one wants to fight over it.
Joseph: Why is this so complicated? If the Rabbinate is approving the Rabbis in question, the process and procedures and verifying the status of the people getting married, why can’t someone use the Rabbinate APPROVED Rabbi they are comfortable with?
It’s just decentralizing the process to make it more user friendly. The current system is too over burdened and it is driving people away. This is not a big deal.
People should say Kaddish together. Halachically, according to Rav Moshe Fienstein, ZT”L, anything said aloud in a Shul should follow the Minhag of the Shul, i.e., so unless it is a Sfardi Shul, their longer Kaddish should not be said, though people do it anyway. The same thing applies to Kedusha.
I find that in most cases, the people saying Kaddish very fast, are either saying it for a non-family member, or being paid to do so and are not saying it for a parent. That, to me, is unfair to those who are saying it with the proper Kavannah to fulfill their own obligation.
mw13: It’s a function of the Chief Rabbinate. The Cabinet Minister has been there a very short term and is trying to make reasonable changes.
Also, especially from your last sentence, you are commenting on something you made up, which is the opposite of what I said.
I said clearly enough that approved Rabbi’s, who passed the Rabbinate Smicha exams and after the central body confirms their kosher status for marriage. While the Geirus issue wasn’t discussed, the same applies. Is there something wrong with the Orthodox system of converts in the U.S.? We are essentially talking about the same system, except with the Chief Rabbinate’s oversight and approval, which would make it superior to the U.S. system.
mw13: Sad but true. Everyone is too stunned to discuss a tragedy like this. It’s beyond human comprehension.
JosephL You left out the key ingredient, ” after checking the halachic status of the people involved.” That should be done by the central authority, i.e. the Rabbinate.
The issue is the administrative nightmare that drive people away that has nothing to do with Halacha. The Halachic aspect should NOT change, but the administrative aspect should be more user friendly. This would avoid many civil marriages.
You could teach or drive a taxi.
mw13: The administrative system of marriages are of the Chareidi making. They’ve always been in control of it and have resisted any change. Again, we are not talkng Halacha here. There is no Halachic requirement that prohibits someone from using a local Rov, as opposed to a centralized system. Anyone Orthodox Rabbi, who passed the Smicha exams, should be approved, after checking the halachic status of the people involved.