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Not to mention being grateful afterward: How many of us feel so grateful after receiving a handout, that we would recoil at the thought of the handout itself being used in a way that slights the Donor.
Or the idea of entitlement. How many don’t have the expectation that they will be granted a handout. If they didn’t, their payers would be an inspiration to watch.
Oot: Thanks for explaining what I meant. I wish you were right, but most people don’t exactly daven the way you described. Who can say that the thought of total dependency on the One they schnorr from permeates their entire being the way you describe. Many people don’t even realize that they are scnorring; asking for something that they need. Some, with a dizzying speed on their lips, have their mind fixated on their next business deals. Those same people tend to be the ones that complain loudest when the indigent ask them for a handout, with much more focus then they had at their last schnorring session.
Red Sock: I hope you schnorr at least three times a day, and I hope the One you scnorr from has a better atitude than you do.
BaalHabooze, It was precisely the mesiras nefesh of forgoing the shidduch that got him there. In a deeper sense, this act merited him eternal life (he never died, as chazal tell us). Eternity has no bounds; his Brocha was limitless.
Parshas Chayei Sarah
A beautiful vort heard from Rav Yitzchok Gleizel Shlit”a, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivas Yagdil Torah in Yerushalayim:
Lavan says to Eliezer, “Come, Blessed one of Hashem”. Chazal say at that point Eliezer no longer bore the curse of Canaan.
The question is, why then.
The reason for Canaan’s curse of slavery is because he was self centred. The entire world was split into only three portions, and he worried about a fourth.
The eitza can only be slavery, toiling completely for another person.
When Eliezer gave all to Avraham, he was no longer under the curse of Canaan. “Come, the blessed one of Hashem”
It depends on the recipient. If he has a very solid yeshiva background, the type who learned, or expects to learn for many years in kollel (5+), it may be insulting.
For everyone else it will be greatly appreciated.
Short, very deep thought on Vayeira.
The Medrash says the Malachim, since they revealed the secrets of Hashem (they told Lot of His plan to destroy Sedom) were expelled from the inner sanctum of Hashem. They only returned when Yakov saw them on the Ladder.
Questions : How do Malachim sin? What is the middah k’neged middah here? Why return by the ladder?
Answer:
Malachim can sin if they are exposed to human behaviour.
The Gr”a says that we can’t have malachim like the Bais Yosef did, because our world these days can corrupt Malachim. The Arizal says that is why Hashem had to smite the Mitzrim by Himself. It was too dangerous for a Malach.
A person is supposed to be strong with himself, and soft with others. See first Gaon in Rus for elaberation.
The Sdomim got it reversed. They were cruel to others, yet they were Chatoim, sinners for themselves. What was supposed to be inside (self control) was revealed to others, and vice versa.
A Malach exposed to this can reveal what is inside. His punishment is that the malach who should be inside, is expelled outward.
Yakov epitomized truth, which is putting everything in its right place. In his days, the malachim can return.
The Sdomim got their ultimate punishment, when they got
overturned. What was revealed of them was now buried.
Yasher Koach BaalHabooze. I heard a similar thought from my Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Elya Svei Zatzal. He said that Avrahm Avinu’s Tfila remains in effect to help in future situations throughout the Doros. He said that the same is true of the heartfelt tefillos poured out in the holocaust. They may not have helped for that generation, but they help for future Doros.
It’s worthwhile to teach children at a young age that they can’t say everything that they feel like saying. That is a message that should stay with them for a lifetime
Following the Psak of any earlier Acharon is never a good idea. Some psakim get accepted by the later Poskim, others don’t. Hora’ah should be left to Morei Hora’ah who follow the development of the Halacha to its conclusion.
Yasher Koach BaalHabooze.
Just a short, deep thought on Lech Lecha. Malki Tzedek lost his status as Kohein by preceding the Brocha of Hashem by the brocha of Avrohom. Why this act?
The Rambam defines the uniqueness of Shevet Levi, and those that follow their path. They abandon the normal venues of Hishtadlus. Therefore, Hashem gives them what they need directly.
Hashem controls everything that happens. We can identify two parts to salvation. One, the salvation itself. Two, the fact that it was Hashem who orchestrated the salvation. Most of mankind focuses on attaining salvation by dint of their own efforts. However, they ask Hashem to help. Shevet Levi focuses on asking Hashem to help, while providing an outlet of Hishtadlus as the means of His blessing to materialize. The difference between these approaches is the difference of Shevet Levi vs the rest of mankind.
By addressing Avrohom’s involvment before Hashem’s, Malki Tzedek in some degree, revealed that his approach resembled the common approach. Not the approach of Levi.
Short thought on Parshas Noach: Noach was childless for until age 500. Chazal say the reason is because if his children were righteous and over age 100 they would all need their own teivos, requiring extra work. The question is why couldn’t Noach just invite them to his own teiva.
The answer is that after a person is an adult (today 20, then 100) they need to create their own tevah, theirown universe, based on their own recognition, and their own kochos hanefesh.
Until then, to the contrary, they must remain bottul to that of their Mesora.
Doing things differently can be devastating. For the latter they will create only an immature world for themselves, and the former will never discover the potential life that has been uniquely destined for them.
I like the idea of a nightly Dvar Torah. I’ll throw oneout to try toget this thread moving. Why does klal Yisroel refer to the Shabbos of Parshas Beraishis as “shabbos Beraishis”, something not done other weeks. Perhaps it’s because after a Yomim Noraim, and Succos and Simchas Torah, each one of us can make a new “Beraishis” on their lives; recreate our own personalities without our previously imposed limitations.
Rav Shlomo Zalman says that you can bill the Mossad, and then be mochel as maaser. He says that it only counts for 9/10 value, as this bill also needs Maaser.
In case anyone can’t tell, PBA has a habit of making up false stories to create a false and negative view of people in general. This is just one example.
Let’s put this in the correct perspective. For starters, she is under absolutely no obligation to marry him. If she chooses not to marry him, his punishment instead is to give her a full year of support, in addition to any other damages that Bais Din asseses. We are discussing only the case that she wants to marry him.
Let’s envision the following scenario: a man, in a moment of weakness, abuses her. It’s an erratic occurance, and he feels true remorse. She, however, now is likely to have a difficult time finding an appropriate shidduch. The Torah obligates him to make up for the difficulty that he caused her by forcing him to extend to her an offer of marriage. Again, if she has any reason to refuse, it’s her choice.
There is a Halacha that a man should not walk behind a woman. There is no Halacha that he should not open the door for you. I would check his middos carefully with his roommates and close friends. If he is mentchlich with them I would not be too concerned about the car door. If he is somewhat self centered you may need to think hard about whether he is worth your while. Hatzlacha!
I find this entire discussion amusing. Since it’s highly unlikely that the story took place as described, why is everyone getting so worked up aboutit. This is a straw man in the classical sense of the word.
What an inspiring story, from a master of pulling heartstrings. Thanks for sharing that.
I personally enjoy using the adjustable shtender. You can sit or stand with it. It’s a safe bet, unless you are looking for appearances (as in a piece of furniture)
In response to nameless : We only persuade someone not to convert in order to determine that they are making a sincere, well considered choice. Once that determination has been made, we welcome them with open arms.
People generally don’t date to do Chesed, for that there are many other outlets. a marriage partner should be the person you feel most connected to, and can therefore build the most productive relationship that you can. Many people feel that the life experiences of a ger don’t mirror their own, and they won’t be able to have that same relationship. To think that this implies some put- down to the enormous respect that such people toward geirim is simply inaccurate.
That being said, it is entirely possible that a ger with a uniquely refined character could have more in common with a fine person than someone of similar backgruond but dissimilar ideals.
Yishai the father of Dovid, possibely the greatest Miyuchas of his time, married off his daughter to a ger who displayed a unique penchant for following truth.
Ps Willie is right that you may find a BT more receptive to the idea (they also have more similar backgrounds, being that they both discovered the truth by dint of their searching) Also, try the YU community, many of them are fine people, often without misgivings about dateing a ger.