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1.Best Thread Title Of 2011 / Best OP Content of 2011
2.Funniest Poster of 2011
3.Least Controversial Poster of 2011
4.Most Courteous Poster of 2011
5.MOST TOLERANT MODERATOR/MOST VIGILANT MODERATOR
Nominations??
(thank you eclipse for starting this thread)
Just so’s you all are clear, anyone who doesn’t vote for mod 95 will be banned.
okay guys. cast your votes:
Voting begins December 21, 2011 right here. One vote (for each award) per member. The Annual CoffeeRoom Award Ceremony will take place IY”H at the Great Taste CR Ballroom in your local Virtual Town of CoffeeTown.
January 5th, 2012 at 7pm (EST).
Please present your CR membership at the door.
there’s gemorah that asks which head does a 2 headed person wear tefillin on, to which it answers it won’t live till 13 yrs old anyways.
Chanuka is said to be the ‘festival’ of the Oral Torah, so why is there no Gemora about Chanuka? We have by Purim, Pesach, Succos, but why not by Chanuka?
Rav Nissan Kaplan shlit”a suggests a beautiful answer:
The Greeks did not try to destroy us physically, they tried to destroy our Torah – our identity. So, when it was time for Rebbe to write down the Mishnayos due to fear that the Jewish People would start to forget the Oral Torah, to some extent, the Greeks had succeeded. They had taken our Oral Torah and to a degree, reduced it. So, when it came to Chanuka, the time when we celebrate our success over the Greeks and their values, Rebbe could not let Chanuka be written down into Mishnayos, Chanuka had to remain as the Oral Torah in its unchanged form. So even though the Greeks succeeded in a way, by causing our Oral Torah to be written down, at least when it came to Chanuka, the ‘festival of the Oral Torah’, that would have to be learned totally orally without any Mishnayos.
The posuk says clearly “U’bocharta bachaim”.
Only people have the capacity to choose. All other creatures do things based on instinct. So to answer your question: Do people have bechira? Yes.
you had the bechira to either stay awake or fall asleep in front of your Rosh Yeshiva and you chose to sleep. Bad move, ultrajew94,
very bad choice.
Things to Ponder
1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor…..
2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
4. I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,”Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
5. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
6. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
7. Is there another word for synonym?
8. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”
9. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
10. If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?
11. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
12. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
13. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
14. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
15. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
16. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
17. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
18. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
19. One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
20. How is it possible to have a civil war?
21. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
22. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
23. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
24. Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have “S” in it?
25. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
26. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
27. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
28. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
caramel, custard, and dipped in hot chocolate.
mmmmmmmmm
…with booze of course! 😉
Shticky Guy- LOL! for me it’s a ‘gantz yor Purim’!
on that note: R’ Moshe Feinstein answers the first day is a celebration, and a time to give thanks to Hashem for even ‘NATURAL” miracles. Because the fact that oil burns, is also a ‘miracle’ from Hashem. So being that Chanukah is a time of L’hodos U’lehallel, we also make it a point to be grateful to Hashem for the ‘miracles’ of nature.
Having said that, last night by a chanukah party (the first of many -I hope!) I noticed something in benching that I never paid attention to. we even thank Hashem for……..booze!!
(Now, in all fairness, it could be the effects from all the drinks that night, but it was there in my siddur!) it said,
” V’ALCOHOL anachnu modim lach, u’mevorchim osach.”
isn’t that cool!! ? ? ? ? ?
L’chaim yidden, l’chaim!!
I heard a great line once from Rabbi Frand.
“Whatever we view and have as a luxury, our children will view and NEED it because, for them, it’s a necessity”
so true.
I play Modi’in roullette. It’s like Russian roullette except you have to eat many many many latkehs, and gamble your health, sanity, and ultimately your ego. But it’s fuuuuun!!!
Wife: Why have u been reading Our marriage certificate for an hour?
Husband: i was looking for the expiration date!
Politicians and diapers need changing regularly.
Both for the same reason.
Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test.
The doctor says to the first old man, “What is three times three?”
“274” was his reply.
The doctor worriedly says to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?”
“Tuesday” replies the second man.
The doctor sadly says to the third man, “Okay, your turn. What’s three times three”?
“Nine” says the third man.
“That’s great!” exclaims the doctor. “How did you get that”?
“Jeez, Doc, it’s pretty simple,” says the third man. “I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday.”
I once had a teacher who was so mean
All he did all day is complain and scream
One day we had had enough
Of his strictness, so tough
So we filled up his boots with ice cream.
I play to the tune of a good drink…?, ?, ?, ?, glub, glub, glub!!!
I also actually play xylophone using my beer bottles…hehe.
oh, and don’t mind my dancing….
ok Zees we’re set to go! Chanukah Party ….here we come!!
Zees -I meant HaLeiVi! you can help yourself to a latkeh, if u like 🙂
L’Chaim HaLeiVi, L’Chaim!!
L’Chaim ZeesKite, L’Chaim!!
OY Gutt in himmel! every year we unfortunately hear terrible stories associated with the chanuka licht.whether its fires, burns, and r”l even worse. Every year when I go out of town for Shabbos Chanukah, I light the menorah, wait 30-40 minutes and then blow it out. Only then do I leave.
may the rbs”o grant every yid a happy healthy safe chanukah, with only besuros tovos flooding our the jewish websites such as this one.
Another reason why we celebrate 8 days.
It says the Yevonim tried to snuff out the jewish flame, for good, by taking away 3 central things: shabbos, rosh chodesh and milah.
shabbos is the central and principal testimony to being Jewish.
rosh chodesh is the basic time period which makes up the Jewish calendar for us to live and celebrate our national celebrations/yom tovim. And milah is the bris between Hashem and a yid.
The Yom Tov of Chanukah celebrates these 3 areas of yiddishkeit.
1) Chanukah always has a shabbos
2) Chanuka was established on 25th of Kislev so that there will always be a Rosh Chodesh
Wow, that was such a nice thought!! Do you write for Mishpacha or Binah magazines? you should at least have a blog with your talent, you’re reeealy good!!
lol onegoal!
last year we played a fun game. There are 7 piles of cards (color coded)face down, each one represents a different catagory. each card has a fun, funny, enjoyable question that your family should be able to guess. each card should have a value as well (from lets say 10pts to 50pts or 100pts). Each person has to get a turn, one at a time, as you go around the table. The one who made up the questions of course has to be in charge.
one catagory can be of obscure pictures of certain spot around the house. One catagory can be a fun math or geography question.
One can be a cata about famous people, or fun jewish trivia. Also there should be a surprise card in all piles, allowing the picker to pick a prize from a bag blindfolded. prizes can include funny stuff or useful things too: sunglasses, toothpaste, nailclipper, ketchup, booze, etc.
As long as its fun and people will get the answers with some thought.
Shticky those are soooo funny!! LOL!
This was funny last night @ 3:30am, like all my jokes, you got to be totally exhausted in order to sqeeze a laugh out. LOL don’t know how funny it is now in middle of the day…but i digress.
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.
The man replies, “I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying late.”
The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving the lecture at this time of night?”
The man replies, “That would be my wife.”
Old guy in a bar pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar and tells his friend, “That’s us in 10 years.”
He said, “That’s a mirror, stupid.”
Q: What invention made it possible for humans to walk through walls?
A: The door
I had 2 ha’aros today when i watched a chicken cross the road:
Firstly, why can’t a chicken cross the road without having its motives questioned by people who only want to eat it?
by the way, the chicken i saw cross the road this morning, was being chased by my son.
just so you should know.
booze there’ll be ‘a plenty!!!
moishy: I loooove donuts!!!!
coffee addict: you have to be careful, I heard thats a very strong segula. Someone in my yeshiva flipped latkehs too many times on Chanuka- he’s now on his third marriage 😉
who else wants to join???????
Oh, how I hated college and school
I was known as the dreikup, the letz, the class fool
All the work that I did
Was ridiculed and derided
How I grew up to be half-normal is a question
That I will answer so pay good attention
With a strong will to succeed
Nothing can stop you indeed
Ok, alright, not really a CEO
But a boozer I will forever be
And I FEEL rich and live happily
🙂
Thanks a million for all your kind words, I so much appreciate each one of your posts.
Thank you Goq.
Thank you coffee addict
Thank you MiddlePath
Thank you tzaddiq
L’chaim yidden, L’chaim!
AinOhdMilvad….
And the P.E.T.A. organization supports bears to be armed with rights!
welcome back coffee addict! Hope all is well with you.
nu….let’s do it again!!
First of all, NEVER say, “well if HE doesn’t have to keep the mitzvah, so why do I??” Never say that, no matter who it is. Never compare your level of shomer torah u’mitzvos with someone elses. Your motivating factor should be a rock-solid foundation of Emunah, together with a live Rebbi who you can speak to. You must keep the torah and mitzvos because you are a jew, period. Never mind the next fellow, even if he’s a “Yaakov Avinu”.
The Telzer rav z”l explains, the way the Avos kept the torah was different from us since it was before Matan Torah. The way they did mitzvos was bechinas Rofeh LeCholeh- in the spirit like that of a doctor to a patient. The doctor tells a patient not to smoke, for example, the patient can listen or ignore. It is no doubt good advice and probably the right way to go. However the patient ultimately can choose not to listen, especially if he has his own cheshbonos. The avos kept the torah because they knew it was the right way to live. However if there were certain times they felt necessary to do something opposite of what the torah says, they did so with the greatest of intentions and with ruach hakodesh.
i play bored games when I’m bored 🙂
When I’m bored of that I drink my booze 🙂 🙂
when I’m bored of drinking my booze, I….uh…wait, what?
2 slices of pizza and a coke.
Thank you Goq. Nice to be back. My absence was actually due to an emergency with my son last week. B”H all is well and he is back in school and healthy once again. It’s scary moments like these that makes you appreciate life and everything you have, so much more. Simple things, like family and health, is something we constantly take for granted. After this experience, i am so shook up, but it kinda’ put my priorities into a clearer perspective. Suddenly my car, job and cell phone don’t have much value on the list of my life.
I even appreciate my booze more. Go figure.
may we only hear besuros tovos.
L’chaim yidden, l’chaim!!
If a guy is uncomfortable then no. If he really doesn’t care, then yes. Some bochurim I know really don’t like the idea of being younger than their bashert. These are bochurim who are confident, happy, and have a solid self-esteem. So, it really depends on the boy’s level of comfort. I feel that no matter who is older, it shouldn’t be by more than 5-6 years. You have to be not only compatible, but the ages should at least be close as well.
oldies but goodies:
Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
A: “BREATHE, YOU IDIOT, BREATHE!”
Q. what is red and goes up and down, up and down, etc?
A. a tomato in an elevator
hey moskidoodle, sounds like my old uncle in jail
who’d drink till he turned completely pale
he’d continue even while drivin’
till police finally brought him in
Now all his booze is up for sale
I’d ask around the other tenants in the bldg to get a feel of what they’re dishing out. Every bldg tips diff. and you don’t want to stand out as either the ‘cheap guy’ nor the ‘generous guy’ (who they can count on every year for a big tip). Sometimes it isn’t anything at all. I asked my cousin a few years back about it and he said all he tips is his hat. lol!
Goq- yw, I’m so glad you enjoyed!
BaalSechel: great ha’ara! but can you really say Rochel wouldn’t have had any children if she was the only wife of Yaakov? How would we have the shevotim? (Through Bilhah, i guess….? I guess.) In any case, I liked that shtikel, as I ‘tahkeh’ always felt bad for Rochel and felt she had given up the most dearest thing to her heart, and ‘sacrificed’ it for her sister’s sake.
I noticed his absence too. I also haven’t seen MiddlePath for a while.
yaaaay for you!!!! mazel tov, mazel tov, mazel tov!!! Does that mean you get the green light now?
LOL BTGuy, I’m with you on that one!!! lol
*stumbles in*
‘morning, all! Hey Goq, conCRatulations!! WOW, *shakes head in disbelief*, I actually thought like everyone else, and that you were an ‘ol timer who’s been here for years, and then I see this thread…..I’m SOOO happy you once had a life not too long ago, that’s fantastic!! LOL!!!! Well I hope you still stick around here AND have a life ‘out there’, because you are one of my favorite posters here, and a VERY integral part of the CR in general!!!
L’chaim Goq, l’chaim!!!!
p.s. oh, and please, now that it IS a year, ….maybe you can spill the beans and explain to us what has been baffling us since you joined -what is a Goq?????????
PARSHAS VAYEIZEI
When Leah had her fourth child she named him Yehuda saying, ????? ???? ?? ??. then the ????? continues ????? ???? she stopped giving birth.
The war the Yevonim waged against the jews wasn’t to wipe us out physicsally. The Greeks had an agenda to transform the entire known world into a Hedonistic society. They didn’t want to kill jews because they were antisemitic and hated us. Aderabba, they let us live, as long as we accept their ways. They’d leave the Bais HaMikdash untouched, solely for its architechural ingenuities and majestic beauty. As long as no korbonos and spiritual rites were offered, and no traditional practices hinted to a Supreme Being. They even let us read the torah, as long as it was taught as a subject parallel to math and science.
The Maccabees felt this was worthy of waging a outright war and fighting for the Honor of Hashem. That meant closing their gemorahs. When the ruchnios aspect of the Jewish People is under siege, we must fight. When our PHISICAL aspect is thretened, as in the time of Purim, we fast and pray top Hashem.
The Israeli army, bless them, are fighting for our land and people which are under constant threat PHYSICALLY. Therefore there is no need to close the Gemorahs and, IY”H, our learning should stand as a zechus for the Israeli soldiers fighting, as it has since 1948.