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Debit card = Bad credit
A Decimal Point = I’m a Dot in Place
The Titanic disaster = Death, it starts in ice
listen = silent
William Shakespeare: I’ll make a wise phrase
Margaret Thatcher = That great charmer
Clint Eastwood = Old West Action
Actor Sylvester Stallone = Very cool talentless star
Garbage Man = Bag Manager
Goodbye = Obey G-od
yaff80-
I DID ask her if she meant a gemora or medrash, but my daughter insisted her morah said it was a moshul and that she didn’t REALLY grow a tail..
Ahhh, Morah Torah! I always dreaded finding out all those things our Morah taught was false all along! That must be why there are so many kollelim – to learn everything all over again, this time with the correct pshat…
My daughter came home one day this year (3rd grade), just before Purim, and i discussed the Purim story with her. When we got to the part about Vashti growing a tail, she told me her Morah taught that it is just a moshul and it wasn’t really a tail…
:0
(a moshul? really? not in MY gemorah!)
How ’bout these 2:
Cows might like to pick this one up for a good read – “Bull Mag!!!!”
Goyim might carry a credit card, but : “A yid has C.O.D.”
you should try some booze
*sigh*
and as the curtains begin to fall, a familiar tune plays in the background invoking an explosive burst of cheers from all posters, as a flood of happy memories gushes forth
*YWN Coffee Room Theme Song*
l’chaim yidden, l’chaim!!
????? ??? ??’ ???? ?????? ???
I graduated from YWNCR and finished my C.O.F.F.E.E. degree
now i will apply to become a MOD.
if it’s black and you bought it for cheap, yes.
one of the better investments/purchases i ever did was buy a good sturdy wind-proof umbrella. have it for five years now, is good as new.
Mazel tov cofeefan!!!! What nice news!
Your chassuna should be iy”h b’sho tovah, and may you and your bashert be zoiche to build a bnb, and be a source of nachas to your families, amen.
L’chaim cofeefan, l’chaim!!
I hear they have a good pizza shop in that area called Brooklyn
🙂
next time i travel to NY I want to take my family to the Living Torah Museum. Haven’t been there yet, but heard it’s terrific.
what are you referring to??
thanks tzaddiq!
PARSHAS NASO
Chasam Sofer – The Surprising Korban Of Nesanel Ben Tzu’ar
Each and every Nasi brought a Korban on his own day. This korban was identical for each and every Nasi. Rashi explains the remazim that were involved in the Korban, which were Kineged Adam HaRishon, the 70 Umos, the Torah, Avrohom, and so on. Interestingly, Rashi discusses all this for the Korban of Nesanel ben Tzu’ar, who was not the Nasi of the first day, but rather the second day. Why does Rashi skip Nachshon’s opening day korban and wait until Nesanel’s korban?
The Chasam Sofer answers that on the first day, Rashi had no proof that these korbanos represented something other than a generous gift. It was only when the second Nasi brought an identical korban, that Rashi could know that there was something deeper than just random gifts.
This also fits in with the Ramban who says that each Nasi brought an original korban based on ideas that represented his Shevet’s unique qualities. The intentions of Nesanel were not at all the intentions of Nachshon. It just happened to be that the Korban was the same.
Rabbi Frand has a tape on this week’s parsha (Nosso) on this inyan of Shaitels.
????? ???
our Mama would slap our hands away if we tried to pinch a piece of cheesecake before yom tov. no cheesecake before Shavuos.
SHAVUOS
On shavuos we have the minhag to decorate our homes and shuls with greenery, and flowers. The Chasam sofer once saw a reform jew who shunned all religious rituals and prayers, but one thing the CS noticed is that this jew at least put up flowers in his house on Shavuos. The following year when the CS happened to pass by his house, the reform jew stepped out, and the CS noticed no flowers in his home this year. They got into a conversation, and one thing lead to another, until the subject of Shavuos and flowers came up. The reform jew started making choizik of the minhagei yisrael, and really put down mitzvas and jewish minhagim in a shameful mouthful. The CS was obviously outraged and mocked him saying, “y’know you are so right! You are so right not to put up flowers in your home!”
The reform jew was taken aback, shocked that the great rabbi somewhat agrees(?) with his ways…
“until now”, said the CS, “you kept SOME of the laws, such as the minhag of putting up flowers in your home on Shavuos and the ??? is that a ???? ????? is ???? ???????. But now I see you are a ???? ???, and therefore it is fitting for you not to even keep this minhag because a ???? ??? is ???? ???????!
I hope they learned their lesson from the Internet Asifa.
As beautiful as it was, and I LOVED it, the fact remains that it COULD have been better, and more effective. Many English speaking American yidden were left grumbling and complaining. As by the asifa at Citifield, I wonder what the big deal is to make 2 seperate siyumim, one in english and one in yiddish, and make all jews happy and let all you Shas “heros” celebrate to your heart’s delight – because you all deserve it! And those who did not finish Shas but wish to join with your fellow brethren’s simcha, kol hakovod, that itself is praiseworthy. And let there be english AND yiddish! just my 2 cents.
wow, scary stuff! thank you cinderella for the link. I’m so shooken up. nebech that is only one in hundreds of cases…
the gedolim said UN-filtered internet is osur! not internet WITH a filter. so i go to YWN CR on my filtered internet throughout the day.
???? ?????? ???? ???? ????? ?????? ?? ??????
I actually researched and found the troll -face!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Trollface.svg
don’t you guys see?!!!
It’s popa! It’s popa-bar-abba!
he’s the troll!! it’s hiiiiiiiiiiiiim!
when a player shoots the puck from behind his red line down the ice and goes over the opposing team’s red line (without anyone touching it in between).
so the puck has to go over the 2 red lines in order for it to be icing. Unless it goes into the opposing team’s net, the goal will count.
when there is an icing call, the puck is brought back to the defenders zone (of the team that committed the infraction) for a faceoff.
zahavadad: is that a fact? I agree here on American shores that is true. But worldwide? not sure that is the case.
as an aside – I wondered before the Asifa why there weren’t 2 stadiums, one for yiddish, and one for english. It would have solved many quarrels and complaints about the language issues and people could have had the best of both worlds by choosing what they felt more comfortable with.
SHAVUOS
A Kabalas HaTorah Food Fest?
The Gemara in Pesachim says that on Yom Tov, Rebbi Eliezer and Rebbi Yehoshua argue whether one is supposed to celebrate materially (i.e. eat) or one may spend the day solely involved in spiritual matters. However they both agree that on Shavuos one must indulge in physical pleasures and celebrate with food and drink. This begs the question, out of all the Yomim Tovim the one we would expect to be of the highest spiritual level and least material would be Shavuos, the day we received the Torah. Why do all agree that on Shavuos we must satisfy our earthly body?
The Baalei Mussar answer that when Moshe Rabbeinu went up to Shamayim to bring down the Torah, at first the malachim wouldn’t let him. How can a mere mortal safeguard the Torah they asked? Moshe’s response to this was to go through the Mitzvos and prove that the Torah not only was very appropriate for humans but in fact many of the commandments are only relevant to humans and not malachim. Do malachim have parents? Do they get angry? Do they work? Do they desire food and money? One needs to be human for these things to be applicable.
The whole point of creation is to elevate our earthly bodies to the highest levels of kedusha through Torah learning and performing the mitzvos; to enable our Neshama to reign supreme over our body. The gemara in Kedushin (30b) tells us “Barasi Yetzer hara U’Barasi Torah Tavlin”, I created a the evil inclination and I created the Torah as an antidote against it. Therefore on Shavuos we need to recognize our body, since our bodies are the subject matter of the entire earthly challenge and the Torah is our ammunition
revach.net
Peace
It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, people, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and to still be calm in your heart.
When we were young, my then-3-yr-old sister and her friend were playing in my grandmother’s backyard. There was this dark-skinned neighbor next door resting in the sun on his lawn chair, and the 2 girls didn’t notice him till he got up from his nap about an hour later. I noticed they both stopped playing and stared at the person heading toward his house. They stood there frozen as my sister pointed to him innocently (there weren’t too many black/dark-skinned people in our neighborhood then) and remarked in a hushed whisper, “look! A bear-man!”
*bump*
a booze a day, keeps the….th…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
??? ??????
lol! oomis- +1
I really think if someone has the generousity of providing a bar by a simcha, he neverthless has the responsibility and authority to make rules or regulations to somehow prevent anyone from drinking too much. 13 yr old kids can be plain stupid, and yes even 20 and 25 yr olds can be dumb and drink irresponsibly too. it is an awesome responsibility, but you CAN’T have a bar without some sort of supervision these days. to have a bar is nice, but c’mon, let’s not fool ourselves, there are alchoholics amongst us.
*????*
????? ?????
*BUMP*
😀
I don’t know why, but i remembered about this thread this morning! kudos to you Goq for stating it! great thread!!
:):):):):):):):):):):):)
with all due respect,
my dear friend, your title is completely off. Your decision as to what your final destination for your honeymoon will be SHOULD HAVE zero(0), nothing, nada, to do with your SHALOM BAYIS. I hope this was just a simple mistake on your part, and that you didn’t really think it through when selecting a title for your new thread.
La”G Be’Omer
sheesh, I didn’t think it would be such a big deal to BORROW a couple of manhole covers for my 102 barrels of wine I made recently….talk about a lack of scoops for the press these days…
l’chaim yidden, l’chaim!
a mamin- Thank you, and mazel tov to you on your daughter’s engagement! The wedding should iy”h be bshoah tova, may it be a zivug shel kayoma, and the young couple should be a source of nachas to the whole family.
frumkid- my rav told me as long as you give something in the zechus of Rashb”y, it can be a yeshua for anything you daven for.
24 beers in a case
24 beers in my belly
24 hours of sleep
24 klaps from my boss
smartcookie! happy birthday to you
you belong in the zoo
you look like a donkey
or is it a monkey?
and you are one too!
🙂
sorry (I’m overtired these days), but I really want to wish you a mazel tov, and a year of happiness, brocha and hatzlochah, v’chol tov!
l’chaim, smartcookie, l’chaim!!
lol yeah i admit i dont eat cholov stam since I was a teen, many years ago. my bad.
hey blinky, a limerick written for me?
in honor of my new born baby?
well thanks so much
for that special touch
and take 10 points for originality!
l’chaim, blinky, l’chaim!
BTGuy- thank you!
smartcookie- thank you! 4 boys now ka”h…
tzaddiq- amen! thank you so much for the brocha!
kapusta- it is brought down in seforim that a Baal Simchah in his happiness is an auspicious time to give out brachos.
Nechomah- Thank you so much! As it looks, if all continues well, it will be be”H, a Shabbos Bris.
Syag Lchochma- Amen! Thank you so much!
Mod. 20- thanks a million! plenty of booze will be served by the Sholom Zochor, iy”H!
kapusta- Thank you so much. IY”H simchas by you, b’korov.
MindOverChatter
ICOT
MindOverChatter
THANK YOU! l’chaim, l’chaim! nohr simchas!
we had a baby boy this Shabbos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MAZEL TOV!!! (EDITED)
