A Woman Outside Brooklyn

We made a chasuna at Tiferes Mordechai about a year and half ago. Was totally satisfied with every aspect, highly recommended. The manager was extremely pleasant to deal with, very much worked with us. because there’s no carpeting around the dance floor, it makes the size very flexible, and they set up the tables to maximize the dance space. Some people don’t like that everything is in one room. We’re not that fancy, and neither are the mechatunim, so no one minded, and they pretty much have the setup routine down to a science so it’s not too uncomfortable after the chuppah. The chossan/kallah room was spacious, there is an elevator, valet parking was extra, but not unreasonable. And the food was just fine – I didn’t get to eat much at our simcha, naturally, but I’ve had it at others, so that’s how I know (my favorite is the squash soup). In fact, when i wanted to order certain dishes, the manager recommended not when he didn’t feel he’d get top (seasonal) quality at that time. Minimum was 180 couples, we may have had slightly less, i’ve been to other simchas there that were closer to 500, and no problem.

brewing coffee in the coffee room

My tree (especially my own branches) does not go back anywhere nearly as far as the aforementioned. However, Geni does allow you to see how’re you’re “connected” to others, which in my case is such a convulated path that I couldn’t even attempt to explain it. But try it – it’s fun! Search for a famous Gadol, for example, and then Geni will tell you whether you’re connected, click on the link to see how, and then have a laugh.

Question, on the “holiday” week the person who delivers Mishpacha left an envelope with the magazines, obviously expecting a tip. How much did you give him/her?

Vis a vis shidduchim, ,ultimately, it’s not as important where you live as who you know and who knows you. Do you have people to visit in various communities on Shabbos and Yom Tov? A boy could be learning in a totally different city, if it’s besharit, it’ll happen. But you do need to consider which communities will be supportive of wherever it is you’re holding, and will encourage you to continue to grow.

Still voting for Queens, Passaic, and yes, Far Rockaway is a great choice too. However, they come under the “Queens” umbrella, even if they don’t admit it. If there were a way to private message on YWN, I’d be able to extend an invite to you for a Shabbos in my community (which is outside of Brooklyn, of course).

Is exchanging emails really the same as socializing? Personally, I often find my non-Jewish friends are more tolerant and understanding of my life style then non-religious Jewish friends. Therefore, I hold that there is no reason you can’t continue your contact. And should you get together socially, I’ve never encountered any issues there either. My friends have been more then willing to come to kosher restaurants with me, and are totally respectful.

Sometimes Torah views can be masked generically. For instance, while we wouldn’t try to explain the concept of Loshon Hora, we could write that we really try hard not to gossip about others because it could hurt their feelings.

Another reason I won’t give over the phone is that what 100% assurance do I have that the person taking my payment info is the person they alledge to be, representing an authentic tzedakah. There are notorious callers who do things like call with a slightly different name then the real one, so the listener probably won’t pick up the difference, and in reality, it’s a scam. I ask for an envelope, and refuse to commit to an amount, because what if, for whatever reason, I don’t have the funds I pledged when I get the envelope. If they’re not willing to do it that way, i tell them then they’ll get zero.

That’s exactly what my mother told me when I was a youngster about why shiksas want to marry Jewish men! The saddest situation is when it’s your oldest friend’s child who is marrying out (the future spouse is having a deformed “conversion”). I can’t be any part of the non-simcha, and it’s definitely put more then a strain on our friendship.

Something very similiar to Feif Un’s story happened to me just a few months ago. A particular organization that I do happen to be familiar with called. Since I’d already received an envelope, and was planning on sending something in, I told that to the caller. About a week later, another call comes in for the same org. I again explained that someone had already contacted me and that I would be mailing it in. Well, when I last counted, I’d received, over the course of approximately 2 weeks, over six different calls. I’d told caller #3 to please remove me from their calling list. Ditto the subsequent callers. By the time the last one called, I was so fed up with their constant calling that I decided not to send anything in, because if this org was spending so much on telemarketing, then I didn’t feel they would use my tzedakah money wisely either. I sent the director of this org an email explaining exactly that. P.S., no one has called me from there since.

In the “modern” music world, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach zt”l was truly original, sang for Rav Aharon Kotler zt”l, yet so many mocked him during his lifetime.

Not that long ago many/some of us wore synthetic or synthetic blends. European hair is a relative “mainstream” newcomer, largely brought about since the Indian hair issue, prior to which human was good enough. But even back then, non-Jews, and for that matter, NYF, rarely could detect that it’s a wig. They don’t have that automatic antenna for sheitels that we frum women do.

To Trying my Best, do live up to your name and try your best to ask this question of your LOR! Coffee rooms are for shmoozing, not the place to get a posuk halacha.

Some of my favorites, in no particular order, are Rabbis Frand, Orlofsky, Rietti, Wallerstein and Shafier. My Ipod is reflective of that.

Clever, I don’t know how I’d missed this thread previously, and admit, beyond your initial post, didn’t read all the responses. But the day you hope is the day is probably the day you cried out here. You’re nowhere near as far away as you perceive.

You probably can surmise by my screen name that I share your feelings about Brooklyn being the be all and end all of Yiddishkeit. There are many communities out there that don’t fall into that mentality.

Remember, we as Jews are constantly striving to grow, and compete with the Yetza Hora. We can do tshuva at any time, and Hashem is always there to welcome us home.

What Frumladygit might be thinking of is kashering a microwave for Pesach, not for general usage. Because we are much stricter about even a minute amount of chometz, many Poseks hold that the microwave you use during the year cannot be thoroughly cleaned for Pesach because there might be chometz in the parts she spoke about. However, this is not applicable during the year.

Obviously, Minyan Gal and I are of the same mindset. Yes, I surely am well aware of how much of our blood has been spilled as a result of that day. But on a purely practical level, if you work among non-Jews, and they wish you a Happy Chanukah (and most do), then it would be quite rude not to respond in kind. If I’m stating “your holiday” I’m making a statement that it is in no way MY holiday, but they walk off happier, and the work environment is not strained.

Up until my late 30’s, I was never heavy. Then it hit, and as I’ve got (even) older, my metabolism has gotten down to a crawl. Trust me, it isnt’ always so easy to lose weight, so thin women, don’t be so judgmental.

Which store in BP carries larger sizes? I’d be very interested in a store where I could find simcha clothes (not MOB, but rather, outfits I can wear to other’s simchas). Yes, Dress Barn Women sometimes has tznius skirts, but for simcha-quality, fahgetaboutit. Most of the frum boutiques only carry sizes from 0-14, and their styles are for women up to about 25. They need to realize that some of us are bubbys, not teenagers. On the otherhand, the large sizes, even in the better department stores, are often quite ugly, like they still haven’t moved away from the mau mau look. For work, I often buy knit skirts online from Lands End. The length is fine, they last forever.

Just to clarify, I’m referring to, for example, going to Pathmark/Waldbaums/Shoprite – you know, your standard regular grocery store, and buying a half a watermelon. I wasn’t talking about fruit salad type cut up.

Mod, I’m confused where I fit in your concept that “the generally more machmir crowd is taking the side of Mutar here.

the generally more makil crowd is taking the side of Assur”. But that’s OK, the Rav referred to is a Posek who gets calls from around the world, and studied halacha under Rav Elyashiv shlita.

It’s the old story, told on YWN and elsewhere that it often takes more knowledge to know what’s muttar then what’s assur.

In Los Angeles they have a Starbucks like chain called “Coffee Bean and Tea”. Every store we were in (this is going back 4-5 years) had a hechsher, don’t remember which, but do remember from my pre-trip planning, that it was widely accepted in LA. Not only were ALL the coffees kosher, but so was everything that was sold in the store – sandwiches, muffins, etc. After I came back to NY, I sent them an email complimenting them – as the stores were also very pleasant to sit in. Unfortunately, whoever the owner(s) are, didn’t have the big bucks it would take to open a franchise in NYC. This is their kashrut info from their website http://coffeebean.com/Keeping-Kosher-W249C125.aspx.

Definitely Rocking Horse Ranch.

The above re Rabbi Lookstein was covered in The Bourbon Room on the ObamaWorld.com website during a discussion in their forum on whether or not Obama should/could invite a Jew to his inaguration.

Kova won my total appreciation a few years ago when we came in with one of my (then mesivta aged) son’s hats, which had been typically tossed around in yeshiva, thrown into the locker after davening, and in need of some serious TLC. Here we were ideal pickings to sell a new hat to, and instead they took his old hat, fixed it up nicely with a cleaning, blocking etc. and sent us home with a hat that still looked decent enough to wear for davening, saving us upwards of $100 I’m sure.

Last night I watched a film on iTunes of the Beatles performing in 1964, their first USA concert. This was all part of iTunes promo that they now offer all of the Beatles albums. The music was so innocent and still very fresh after all these years, it was a pleasure to watch. If this were the secular music that’s around now, this would be a much shorter discussion.

Now if only iTunes carried Lipa as well!

Just curious, how did chesedname come upon that screen name, when all of his/her comments seem to indicate the opposite? Actually, he’s probably just trying to get a rise out of people.

Wealth? We’re the ones who make chasunas in converted factories for under $100 per person in most cases, while they’re doing the Plaza or other equally elaborate places at way more $ per couple. Just the cost of the alcohol alone is probably more then we spend on an entire simcha.

To be honest, I’m not “up” at all on the music of this century. The secular stuff my kids liked was mainly music from the sixties and seventies. Hence, our spending time discussing what’s inappropriate about a lot of the lyrics. In fact, even when I tried listening to a Yid like Y-Love, I could barely understand a word he was saying/singing/rapping, whatever it is he does. Ditto Matisyahu, although I do like the sound of his stuff, since I happen to like reggae. I’m starting to feel like my own parents probably did when I was listening to rock ‘n roll back in the day.

So what’s the consensus here, not about s#x, but about music?