Avram in MD

Gadolhadorah,

“If the average frum yid is accepting a certain hashgacha, someone who wants to step above the “average” can only be machmir by relying on a non-mainstream, ultra-conservative hashgacha”

Let’s not be so cynical. It’s been my experience that those who are “machmir” have reasons for doing so, such as not relying on a specific kula that an agency allows. Many therefore do rely on “mainstream” hashgachos for many items (same as other agencies!), but not for foods where the problematic kula is applied.

None of this has anything to do with derech eretz, mitzvos bein adam l’chaveiro, or spousal obligations. In fact, letting one’s own insecurities generate resentment towards other Jews who may be more stringent with specific halachos is in itself a violation of a mitzva bein adam l’chaveiro. Seriously, just get the chalav Yisroel, pas Yisroel, yoshon, heimishe hechsher, or whatever for your friend, use disposable/sealed packaging as needed, and show some love and respect, and you’ll find that you get it right back.

jackk,

You’re not even bothering to rewrite the talking points in your own words anymore. Out of curiosity, what is your goal here on this forum? I personally do not fit into a political box and like to have a back and forth with other posters, but in our few interactions you seem incapable or unwilling to do so.

mdd1,

“The bodies could have been planted.”

You should apologize to kollelman.

“Also some rogue Russian soldiers may have committed crimes”

Of course, nobody is disputing that.

“but not the execution of a lots of people”

How do you know? Did you go to Ukraine and conduct surveillance?

“and also not as a policy of the Russian army.”

It doesn’t have to be an official military or government policy to be a war crime. Most likely the specific atrocities we’re reading about in the news now are largely a result of poor training, poor discipline, poor logistics forcing Russian soldiers to forage for food among a hostile populace, poor morale, and rage over the high number of casualties they’re taking.

“Look at the news — there are alleged Ukrainian atrocities against Russian POWs dating back to March 30 and so on. “

Yes, there are Ukrainians committing likely war crimes as well, including poisoning Russian soldiers, and abusing or executing POWs. Maybe Russia can appeal to the ICC.

ujm,

“The ICC has no jurisdiction to indict or request extradition of any parties or state nationals, that committed any gruesome acts outside any jurisdiction not party to the ICC.”

Your statement is factually incomplete. The ICC nominally has jurisdiction only in respect to its signatory nations, but a nation that is not part of the court can still grant the ICC jurisdiction to investigate and prosecute potential war crimes committed within its own territory. Ukraine has done so, and the ICC has already opened an investigation. And yes they can in fact indict Russian citizens. Now, Russia and the US maintain that even if indicted the ICC has no jurisdiction over their own citizens, unless it is authorized by the UN Security Council, where of course both the US and Russia hold veto power. So it’s unlikely that any indictments from the ICC will have much effect on Russian civilians, but that’s quite different than what you are saying.

And again, all of this is an irrelevant smokescreen, because whether or not the ICC can successfully prosecute someone for a war crime does not affect the definition of a war crime.

mdd1,

“If enemy combatants take up positions in or near a hospital, you are allowed to fire at them. You have to learn the laws of warfare to know what constitutes a war crime.”

It’s weird that you’re lecturing me about a need to learn the laws of warfare – what exactly are your bonafides, and what do you know of mine? It seems to me that you are making things up as you go along your quest to defend Russia.

From Article 8 (War Crimes) of the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court, we see the following defined as war crimes:

Intentionally launching an attack in the knowledge that such attack will cause incidental loss of life or injury to civilians or damage to civilian objects or widespread, long-term and severe damage to the natural environment which would be clearly excessive in relation to the concrete and direct overall military advantage anticipated.

Attacking or bombarding, by whatever means, towns, villages, dwellings or buildings which are undefended and which are not military objectives.

So no, you can’t just blast away at a hospital or civilian shelter or obliterate towns because enemy soliders may be operating nearby. And the hospital attack is hardly the only evidence of war crimes. The heightened accusations of war crimes leading to this thread have come up after finding executed civilians in the Kyiv suburbs vacated by Russian forces. There have also been reports of Ukrainian civilians poisoning Russian soldiers – this would also be considered a war crime.

“Russia also has a number of reasons/justifications for their invasion.”

This is absurd. Since when do “justifications” permit crimes?

“You and others here were to quick to swallow the Western/Ukrainian propaganda.”

Well, jackk thinks I’m a Putin apologist, and you think I swallow Ukrainian propaganda. I must be on the right track!

mdd1,

“2cents, did you support the US invasions of Iraq and Afganistan, the Israeli invasion of Gaza and bombings of Lebanon? Plenty of civilians were killed there etc.”

I disagree that the US and Israeli campaigns are at all comparable to Russia’s invasion and war against Ukraine. The US campaign against Afghanistan was a direct response to the 9/11 terror attack, and Israel’s war against Hezbollah in Lebanon was in response to a violent cross-border attack that killed and captured Israeli soldiers, and cross-border shelling. The US war against Iraq had much less justification, though Iraq was failing to cooperate with nuclear inspections. In all three of those campaigns, however, precision munitions were primarily utilized by the US and Israel. These weapons are much more expensive than conventional artillery and are designed to hit the intended target accurately while minimizing collateral damage. The US and Israeli armed forces were also working to limit their attacks to military targets, and took responsibility and corrective actions after mistakes. Israel would even “knock” on buildings it was about to hit, giving advance warning to those inside to get out beforehand. Israeli and US soldiers are well trained, well organized, and have a robust disciplinary system in place where soldiers are accountable for their behavior.

In contrast, Russia has relied primarily on less accurate conventional artillery in urban areas, has applied scorched earth tactics rather than precision strikes against legitimate military targets, has appeared to deliberately target civilian residences, hospitals, and shelters, and has poorly trained and poorly disciplined soldiers that have rampaged against defenseless civilians to vent their wrath over staggeringly high numbers of casualties due to their poor training, discipline, and the tactical decisions of their “superior” officers.

commonsaychel,

Did I say asking shailos of a posek is wrong? Stop being a troll.

TS Baum,

“Any normal person doesn’t eat pizza between meals! It is the meal!”

This may be partly a generational thing. When I was younger and my parents would pick up a pizza for dinner, my grandfather A”H would insist that other things like pasta, salad, and bread get ordered as well, because as he’d say, “pizza is not dinner, it’s dessert!”

Anecdote aside, in 2014 the USDA released a survey called “What We Eat in America”, and a document specifically on pizza called “Consumption of Pizza.” Remarkably, on any given day, 1 out of 8 Americans ate pizza. And as far as the breakdown on the type of eating, around 10% of the pizza consumed in America is done so as a snack. So yes the majority of pizza eating is done at mealtimes, but maybe over 4 million pizza snacks occur each day in this nation.

Always_Ask_Questions,

“most world cities have poorer East due to prevailing westerly wind, so eastern of two nearby towns will be more polluted”

This only holds in the midlatitudes.

“what does everybody think of this”

I saw in the media that the sleep “–>Experts®™©<—” [insert gong and angelic choir sounds] have said that eliminating the bi-annual transitions is a good thing, but that we should go to full-year standard time, not daylight time, as the former is better for sleep. Sorry folks, but Science hath Spoken, and thou must Believe in the capital-S Science and Listen to the Experts, for anyone who dost not obeyeth is a heretic and must be banned from public life. Shuls should check the watches of mispallelim at the door and turn away any who have their watches set an hour ahead of standard time, for they have had less sleep and are more likely to get into accidents and are a clear and present danger to society.

Keep midday Noon!

Always_Ask_Questions,

Thank you for sharing those sources. They seem to fall into two distinct categories:

1. It is forbidden to call one’s parents by their names.
2. How to handle disagreeing with your parents

AviraDeArah’s hypothetical child certainly didn’t violate #1. Did he violate anything in #2? He didn’t disagree with any position held by his father, nor did he affirm his father’s words. In fact, the hypothetical father stated no opinions whatsoever, nor did the child. He simply asked a question: did you ever get that garment checked? It says wool on the label. The source you brought that has the closest relevance to AviraDeArah’s example was the Prisha: “But if there is definite proof that a mistake was made in religious matters, then one is obligated to point this out.” Not getting a wool garment checked for shatnez is a mistake in halacha which led to a clear and definite violation of halacha in AviraDeArah’s hypothetical. Perhaps you can say the son was not sure, but the son did not disagree or level an accusation against the father, or “correct him” as you wrote – he asked a question! Did you get this garment checked?

You leveled some serious charges against AviraDeArah due to his example which by even your own sources doesn’t appear to violate any clear issur in kibud av, and then implied that I look for excuses to get out of observing mitzvos bein adam l’chaveiro when I defended AviraDeArah from what I thought was unwarranted and harsh criticism. I think it’s possible you’re reading way more into the example than was actually there.

Always_Ask_Questions,

“speaking respectfully with your parent is as basic halakha as keeping shabbos.”

What is considered respectful and what is not is highly subjective and depends on the parent and child in question. I did not find AviraDeArah’s wording to be disrespectful. Some may find “ta” rather than “totty” to be disrespectful, but Avira’s father may not. It seems that you’re more interested in the fun of trying to hit Avira from the right, so I’ll join the fun. How could you give an example of a child referring to his father in the 2nd person as an example of respectful speech? There are children in some Jewish families who wouldn’t dream of such chutzpah! You should have written, “Totty, how is shatnez checked in a bekesha?”

“Your kid should have just switched it off first, of course.”

You’d want your kid to walk into a kitchen that is ON FIRE to turn off the stove? I’d want my kid out of the house as quickly as possible.

Here’s the thing: Avira and I both brought stories in an attempt to show that nobody is perfect, mistakes happen even with the best intentions, and the right thing to do is to correct the mistake and keep moving forward and not let yourself become derailed – while also saying that it’s possible that no mistake was made at all. I’m not sure why that message bothers you, but by Avira’s story you went off on a tangent about how kids these days become frummer than their parents and disrespect their mitzvah observance. Perhaps that’s a worthy topic to be discussed separately, but how is it relevant here? And furthermore, Avira’s story was talking about wearing straight up shatnez, not a chumra such as gebrochts that might cause a child to stop eating at his parents house. So the tangent was not only irrelevant, but inappropriate to the example.

As for my house-on-fire story, my point is that there are times for polite obfuscation, but there are also times that true respect calls for a shorter and more direct statement. If I’m about to accidentally put a piece of bacon in my mouth thinking it was kosher corned beef, I hope my kids stop me directly rather than blathering about how they learned in school that bacon was unkosher, or how to tell bacon from corned beef while I’m eating it. Their misguided “respect” would have caused me to unintentionally sin!

coffee addict,

“I’m joking, but in essence Hashem looks into our kavanah”

Maskim.

Always_Ask_Questions,

“As kids “learn” to be “better” than their parents, then most of parents’ mitzvos will be found to be pasul”

It would be the height of nachas for my children to exceed my levels of avodas Hashem, and like I huff and puff after them while they play now, I daven to have the strength to huff and puff after them in spiritual growth then.

“A chachan, or even a tam, son should have said – Ta, how do you check bekeshas? Or, I learned today that bekeshas need to be checked.”

So the other day I left a stove burner on, and the kitchen caught fire. My child came to me and said, “Ta, I learned in cheider how important it is to make sure nothing is left next to the stove.” I said, “that’s a nice safety lesson, kol hakavod!” He paused, then said, “Ta, can you show me how to turn a burner off on the stove?” I said, “sorry my dear, I’m working right now and I don’t think you’re ready to do things on the stove.” He paused again, and then said, “Ta, can you show me how to use the fire extinguisher?” I said, “why do you ask?” And then we both collapsed from smoke inhalation. Just kidding like coffee addict, thank G-d. But I don’t think Avira’s wording was necessarily rude given the situation in his hypothetical.

ujm,

“there’s a chiyuv to get stone drunk on Purim?”

What does stone drunk mean? Throwing up? Needing to go to the ER for alcohol poisoning? Passing out and missing maariv? Missing shacharis the next morning because of a hangover?

Always_Ask_Questions,

“this year you can’t fulfil it on Stoli from moris ayn.”

You can’t fulfill it on hard liquor any year. We drink wine, as wine was involved in our salvation. Esther did not invite Achashveirosh to a vodka party.

Syag Lchochma,

“and your attempts to be extreme for it’s own sake continue”

He’s not trying to be extreme. He had a bit much to drink one Purim and couldn’t tell the difference between Hebrew letters and Greek, so he inadvertently spent 20 years learning in a college fraternity house thinking it was Yeshiva.

Always_Ask_Questions,

“Rav suggested not to refuse at all, but “give a dollar”. Then, I realized why he is always getting money out of the same drawer to give – this is where he had single dollars.”

I think this is an excellent practice.

Always_Ask_Questions,

“I encountered one at a simcha, where there was a specific request to only have vaccinated people (due to a medical condition of the baalas simcha, that many might not have known about) – that, at the time, meant no children. Hundreds of people followed the request, while generally not adhering to any precautions, including ambushing the lady who was trying to avoid that. Then, I see a family with a kid.”

The baalas simcha was in more danger from the hundreds of vaccinated people milling about than the lone kid at the buffet. And honestly I find it hard to believe that you were in attendance at an event with hundreds of people prior to October 2021, when such gatherings were strongly discouraged. Maybe you should’ve stayed home and watched via Zoom.

Participant,

“I achieve the same thing with about a twelfth of those words.”

Do you yell, “AIYEEEEE!!” and then shoot staples at them?

Always_Ask_Questions,

“If you are forced to be in a place with strangers, maybe think about them as family, and count time you are talking with them as [chessed] ( and talk accordingly)”

I agree with you to a point. Greeting people is a mitzva and I think a few minutes at the start of a work day or during breaks exchanging pleasantries with those around you is reasonable, expected by normal managers, and is good for productivity. I think Participant is dealing with frequent interruptions while he is deep in the flow of his work (e.g., when I’m working I call it a coding trance or the coding zone), which not only wastes time during the interaction itself, but also the recovery time afterwards where he has to pick up where he left off. This can be very challenging. I like your idea about putting on headphones, but it seems that Participant’s co-occupants aren’t getting that hint. In that case, I’d add a humorous sign to the back of the chair letting people know you’re busy and would prefer not to be interrupted. One of my favorites I use when working from home came from a cartoon I like: “Hush, I’m coding. You ate yesterday.”

“One of the baalei musar was overheard asking a farmer about his chicken and at the same time murmuring gemora to himself”

Here’s the problem: the vast and overwhelming majority of us do not have the brain power of a gadol, and we cannot effectively do multiple things at once. If I’m thinking about learning or work while trying to talk to someone, either the thoughts or the words coming out of my mouth will end up nonsensical.

Also, I can’t resist asking a question about your consistency in halachic application. I’m wondering why you seem so makpid about the time and resources a learner spends when he is supported, to the point that someone supported in kollel should ask permission to get gas, etc., yet here by an employee who is on the clock, you seem unconcerned about geneiva, even when the OP states that the interruptions are reaching the level of harming his expected productivity.