Avram in MD

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  • in reply to: Why Can't Women Get Modern Smicha and Become Rabbis? #1071532
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    zahavasdad,

    There was a female Chassidic “Rebbe”

    The Maiden of Ludmir (Hannah Rachel Verbermacher)

    From a brief look at her Wikipedia entry, her behavior (acting like a chasidic rebbe) provoked a lot of opposition, and she asked a shaila of the Maggid of Chernobyl, who advised her to stop those practices, which she did.

    in reply to: Why Can't Women Get Modern Smicha and Become Rabbis? #1071531
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    benignuman,

    I am not coming from some sort of feminist, “lets be egalitarian” position and I am not coming to validate anything ex post facto.

    I’m not sure how you derived from my post that I was ascribing any motivations onto you, although perhaps I did so indirectly to charliehall, and definitely directly to YCT. I should have been more careful in my wording, so I apologize.

    I value honest clear positions based on honest clear arguments.

    I agree with you there.

    There is no categoric rule in halacha that women cannot be rabbis, so why pretend as if there is.

    I’m not sure that the absence from halacha is so clear cut. People who have much more Torah knowledge than I do seem to think that it is not permissible.

    If I had a minhag that for some reason I wanted to change, or if I wanted to do something that wasn’t commonly (or ever) done in the frum community, I would go to my rav and ask a shaila. I think the first thing he would ask me is, “why do you want to do this”? Whether he ultimately permits it or not would depend highly on my motivation for doing it. A different person in a different situation might get a completely different answer.

    The first change made by the Reform movement in Germany that brought huge condemnation from the rabbis of the time was something that seems tiny; they moved the Torah leining up to the bima. If a shul had done this because it was difficult for everyone to hear the leining, perhaps there would have been some disagreement, but not a full fledged outcry. The outcry happened because of the motivation of the reformers – to make their synagogues look more like churches.

    I cannot myself answer the question of whether ordaining a woman using the smicha system we have today is forbidden or not, but it does seem clear that the way YCT is going about it is not the proper Jewish way.

    in reply to: Why Can't Women Get Modern Smicha and Become Rabbis? #1071524
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    benignuman,

    I need to think about it. It does seem somewhat disturbing that we would be held hostage like that by the actions of outsiders.

    A unique facet of Torah law is that the intention of a person plays a significant role in the halacha. Maasei Shabbos is an example, where the permissibility of benefiting from the melacha (forbidden labor on Shabbos) may be different depending on whether the melacha was performed b’shogeig (unintentionally) or b’meizid (intentionally).

    Charliehall above makes a strong argument based on historical precedents in favor of a sort of ordination of women – and his points seem good; however, it is quite apparent that arguments like these are coming as a result of the push for women’s ordination, rather than as the driver.

    In other words, if there was a situation impacting mitzah observance in the Torah community, and some feel that a group of women who are certified to answer specific shailos would increase the ability of the community to observe the mitzvos, then these arguments may hold water to a broader segment of the community. It seems pretty clear, however, that the motivation by the activists pushing for ordination is coming from somewhere outside of the Torah community, and these halachic arguments are coming ex post facto.

    Therefore, it is not the halacha that is held hostage by the actions of outsiders, but the motivations of YCT, etc.

    in reply to: Home Birth #862961
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    This is B”N my last post on the matter.

    big deal,

    Do you think it is possible to take a minute and think for yourself without quoting statistics or medical journals who are trying to push an agenda? Your logic is so twisted it would be laughable if not so serious a subject.

    I’m guessing you tuned in at my last post. I encourage you to read the rest if interested. It’s fair to say that I am wrong – there are two legitimate sides to this debate – but I have not twisted my logic. Also, you think I haven’t thought about this? I used to be firmly on the opposite side of the issue!

    By the way, the Green Journal quoted in my post above is the official journal of the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. If they had an “agenda”, it would actually tilt against home births! If a research paper in their journal establishes that monitored and screened home births are a safe option (which was the conclusion of the paper), then I think that can be taken as an unbiased source. And mothers choosing that option should not be shamed by people like you any more than mothers who opt for C-sections out of convenience or fear of pain, based on evidence that that procedure increases both fetal and maternal risks.

    Can you figure out any reason why they might be screening candidates for a planned home birth? Because they know that there is a significant risk with delivering at home so they try to minimize the casualties.

    I actually agree with the vast majority of this statement, though not the wording. It’s apparent that you are not following my position on the issue, either because of a preconceived notion of my position, or because you’ve just arrived to the thread. Screening and fetal monitoring are a vital part of a planned home birth, IMO. It would be unwise to not undergo such screening. Home birth is definitely not for everyone. By the way, “they” try to minimize casualties in hospitals too:-)

    The reasonable argument here is whether the medical mitigation of risk available at an established LOW RISK home birth attended by certified nurse midwives with a transfer plan to a nearby hospital is as good as being on site at the hospital from the start of active labor. My contention is yes. Others contend no. The only way to find out is through research – the statistics and medical journals you disapproved of my citing.

    I know that our upbringing in this country is to automatically assume that risks in hospital < risks at home. But these assumptions can be verified through studies. To this point, nobody has offered clear evidence that the very specific form of home birth I am describing has greater risk than a hospital birth.

    In the Netherlands, home birth is the norm. Hospital births are utilized in higher risk situations. Their neonatal mortality rate puts the U.S. to shame. This wouldn’t be the case if home birth “tripled” or “exponentially increased” the risk to the baby.

    I don’t know what your experience with birth is. But I can tell you that anyone that is semi educated or responsible that was in a delivery room knows about the many surprises that come about.

    A not-so implicit insult – which was uncalled for.

    in reply to: Home Birth #862958
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    yungerman1,

    Again, giving birth is sakonos nefashos- which is why you are allowed to be mechalel shabbos to drive to the hospital.

    So what? Should I drive my family to the hospital if our furnace goes out on Shabbos in January? Where have I said that melacha should not be done for a woman in labor?

    Lets define “preferable”. To the comfort of the mother- maybe for some, and only if they dont want any pain relief medication.

    Pain medication dramatically increases the likelihood of cesarean section in the hospital. C-section increases the risk for maternal mortality. U.S. is 41st out of 171 nations in maternal mortality rates, and the rate is increasing dramatically (along with the C-section rate). In fact, it has quadrupled. At some hospitals the C-section rate tops 50%. And if you think, “well, C-sections are better for baby, at any rate!” think again. For a singleton presenting head down at full term, the risk of neonatal death is 0.62 per 1000 when Hashem’s designed delivery is used. That risk jumps to 1.77 with a C-section. Did our Creator really design us so poorly that almost half of women need to be cut open to get the baby out? Also, 66% of “emergency” cesareans are performed during the daytime (e.g., normal business hours – most convenient for the OB). Why?

    So a women who decides on a home birth, is most definitely increasing the risk to herself,

    The exact opposite seems to be the case.

    and exponentially so to the infant.

    Exponentially? Really? Not even Health made that claim.

    Here’s the results of a study called Outcomes of Intended Home Births in Nurse-Midwifery Practice: A Prospective Descriptive Study, which was published in Volume 92, No. 3 of The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists:

    Of 1404 enrolled women intending home births,

    6% miscarried, terminated the pregnancy or changed plans.

    Another 7.4% became ineligible for home birth prior to the

    onset of labor at term due to the development of perinatal

    problems and were referred for planned hospital birth. Of

    those women beginning labor with the intention of delivering

    at home, 102 (8.3%) were transferred to the hospital

    during labor. Ten mothers (0.8%) were transferred to the

    hospital after delivery, and 14 infants (1.1%) were transferred

    after birth. Overall intrapartal fetal and neonatal

    mortality for women beginning labor with the intention of

    delivering at home was 2.5 per 1000. For women actually

    delivering at home, intrapartal fetal and neonatal mortality

    was 1.8 per 1000.

    By comparison, the overall neonatal mortality rate for whites (the rate is significantly higher for blacks) in New York in 2007 was 3.27 per 1000 births. In Maryland it was 3.54, New Jersey 2.86. For women intending to deliver at home under the care of certified nurse midwives, including those who were transferred to hospitals for delivery due to problems with either mother or baby, the rate was 2.5.

    Not sure where this tripling (or exponential increase) of the infant mortality rate is coming from. Probably home births that are not properly supervised, which we all agree is a bad idea.

    in reply to: Home Birth #862947
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    yungerman1,

    I’ve never heard of a great delivery. Deliveries are extremely painful even with an epidural- which a midwife cannot administer.

    Not all labors and deliveries are painful.

    And to both of you- Please respond to Health’s post- he make a very important point.

    I have no interest in responding to Health. What I will say to you is this: the snippets of what sounds like a news article he quoted made no mention of the maternal mortality rate in U.S. hospitals, which is significantly higher when interventions are utilized, and higher in comparison to other developed nations that promote home births for healthy pregnancies. While he framed his argument as pitting a mother’s convenience and comfort vs. infant’s life, if anything it really is a question of mother’s life and infants life. Whose blood is redder?

    By the way, the ACOG probably lumps all “planned home births” together, including those who have little to no screening or monitoring, which I have certainly never advocated. And I wonder what definitions the ACOG used to attribute an infant’s death to the birth itself.

    in reply to: How Much Below the Knee Should a Skirt be? #1059808
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Naysberg,

    How far below the knee should a skirt be?

    At least 4 to 6 feet. Stilts are recommended to avoid having the skirt drag on the floor. 🙂

    I hope this answer is serious enough for your serious question.

    in reply to: Home Birth #862937
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    2good2btrue,

    I know of ppl who gave birth at home the babies lacked oxygen at birth and are NOT healthy today.

    This is not the type of home birth I am referring to. In a birth center or home birth attended by certified nurse midwives, oxygen and IVs are readily available, and the nurse is trained in infant resuscitation.

    Also, just as Hashem created women to give birth “naturally” Hashem gave doctors the knowledge to heal.

    Absolutely.

    It is our Hishtadlus to go to doctors and hospitals.

    Absolutely, when there is a problem.

    If your husband is having a heart attack, you wouldn’t call an ambulance?

    For sure, but should we all live in the hospital because, heaven forbid, we might have a heart attack?

    in reply to: Home Birth #862936
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Logician,

    Avram – The Halacha remains that it is Sakanos Nefashos

    I didn’t dispute the halacha in my response. I’m not even sure why we are bringing sakanos nefashos into this conversation, because childbirth is a sakanos nefashos whether the woman is in the hospital or at home. Therefore, if you object to my use of the term “safe” for home birth on the grounds of sakanos nefashos, then you must also object to calling a hospital birth safe.

    I see the debate here as not about whether birth is a sakanos nefashos, which is a constant yes, but whether a planned home birth is preferable to a hospital birth.

    in reply to: Home Birth #862917
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    smartcookie,

    Zahavasdad- you do know that it was far more common for mothers to die in childbirth before all the hospital and medical intervention.

    Many (even most?) of the complications that arise during pregnancy and childbirth, e.g., eclampsia, breech, gestational diabetes, do not come up suddenly and without warning. In the past, there was no knowledge or ability to deal with these issues. That is not the case today, so it is an error to equate today’s home births to births two hundred years ago.

    I think that a home birth managed by medical professionals, such as certified nurse-midwives, is a safe, dignified option. These professionals bring equipment to the home and can provide oxygen, IV fluids and medications, and resuscitation if needed, heaven forbid.

    yungerman1,

    SupportSurvivors- “Out in 4 hours after delivery which was great”??? Hard to believe. Did you head straight to the pizza shop for lunch too?

    I would suggest obtaining some knowledge about birth centers and childbirth before ridiculing and doubting people. She most likely went home to rest, where she could bond with her newborn in the peace and familiarity of home, rather than in a hospital, where the janitor wakes people up at 3am to take out the trash (happened to my wife).

    in reply to: Why I'm never giving blood again. By popa. #1157812
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    All,

    Let’s deconstruct this thread a little bit.

    First, popa_bar_abba signed his OP as “the little red hen.” In that story, the little red hen asked some other barnyard critters for help planting wheat, then tending to it, reaping it, threshing it, milling it, baking, etc. At each stage, the other critters refused to help. When it came time to eat the bread, however, all of the critters jumped up to “help”, but the little red hen refused them, and ate the whole loaf herself.

    In the blood donation case, the “little red hen” (the OP) can bake the bread but cannot eat it, while the “barnyard critters” (the other posters) can eat or bake the bread but cannot bake any for the little red hen. So, the hen is asking (in popa_bar_abba’s classically inflammatory way), “why should I go through the trouble to bake bread for all you critters???”

    I cannot guess what popa_bar_abba wanted as a response. We could thank him for his baking, or mock him for his blood type I suppose:-) I think he was expecting to be attacked for his anti-Semitic tone, but I don’t think he was expecting a wave of “who cares whether you can eat our bread or not… keep baking bread for us anyway because we’re hungry!”

    Unlike popa, however, I don’t interpret those responses as a sign of “entitlement.” To be in a position of need is difficult emotionally, so for a giver to act scornfully towards the receiver is cruel. People are responding negatively to this cruelty, but are missing the mark on what exactly about popa’s post is bothering them.

    in reply to: Why I'm never giving blood again. By popa. #1157810
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    popa_bar_abba,

    Thank you so much for your donations of blood. B”H I have never needed to receive a blood transfusion, but if I ever did, I know my life would have been saved thanks to generous people like you, who took the time and felt the discomfort to donate.

    I don’t think very many people in this thread are “getting” it.

    Avram in MD
    Participant

    nitpicker,

    you seem to be arguing with me, but there is not much difference in what you said and what I said.

    I certainly didn’t intend to bother you with an argument. Convenience (the term you used) indicates something that eases difficulty, but does not imply requirement. I contend that the order of operations are a requirement, not a convenience or “best practice.” To perform the calculation above “in sequence”, therefore in my view, is incorrect. That’s all I was trying to say. Sorry for nitpicking:-)

    Avram in MD
    Participant

    The answer is 14.

    but those are a convention for convenience.

    Not really, they’re a convention so that anyone else looking at the equation can be clear what it means. Otherwise, what’s to say we can’t interpret the above as:

    (1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1) – (1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1*0) = 4

    or

    (1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1) – (1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1)*0 = 10

    or 0, as several people above said, etc…

    Without a common set of rules and definitions, we can’t have symbolic math!

    in reply to: what do you think of daf yomi? #860774
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    longarekel,

    well, here’s what I think. For most people, daf yomi is a waste of time.

    I would be very careful about bashing other people’s learning like this. If my toddler gives me a picture of me and her holding hands, and in the typical toddler style they are two heads with long stick legs sticking out and the arms coming out of the sides of the head, and I know it took her only 5 minutes to draw it, I would be delighted by her attempt to connect with me in her own way. If an older sibling insulted the picture in front of her – after all, there are much better ways to draw a picture – I would feel upset with this sibling.

    Yes, I understand and even agree with your concerns. One should not stand in place, doing nothing to rise higher. One who CAN learn on a deeper level should. The 15 year old shouldn’t think that a 5 minute stick figure drawing fulfills his obligations towards his parents. Still, the way you worded things was hurtful and derogatory towards those engaged in the study of Hashem’s Torah, and I don’t think that’s what Hashem wants us to do. There is a reason, after all, that the rebbeim you know are discreet about their concerns.

    For people who don’t spend all day learning the daf-in depth and until halacha l’ma’aseh(and that’s the vast majority of people) it is an illusion created by he yetzer hara.

    These are pretty strong words. Are you implying that the gemara should be closed to those who don’t have all day to learn it?

    A person thinks he is ‘finishing’ masechtos when in truth he knows almost no Torah at all.

    This may be true for some. It may not be for others.

    How many people making the ‘siyum’ on shas will actually know shas, or even one masechta, or I dare say-even one perek?

    I think that to put siyum in quotation marks is quite derogatory and uncalled for.

    Instead, the precious time spent daily on Torah study should be focused on aquiring knowledge of halacha l’ma’ase like shabbos ribbis issur v’heter ona’ah yichud tahara brachos etc.

    This is a valid argument, and I’m sure that a person serious about his learning discusses his learning with his rav.

    Slowly, day after day, with a serious commitment, one can become a very real talmid chacham.

    This is also a goal that can be corrupted by the yetzer hara. The ultimate goal of Torah learning is to come closer to Hashem, whether or not you have the ability to become a talmid chacham.

    The yetzer hara knows this and therefore gets people to ‘learn’ daf yomi, make siyumim, and provide the illusion of knowing vast amounts of Torah, when in truth one remains more or less the same am ha’aretz he was 7 and a-half years ago.

    It’s not the daf yomi that causes this, but rather a person who doesn’t grow from his learning. Some may grow learning the daf, others may need to use a different approach. Interestingly, there was a thread here in the CR a while back where the OP complained of the exact opposite: of yeshiva classes that “kvetched” over a single sugya for the whole semester, leaving the rest of the gemara a closed book.

    I personally lean towards the more in depth approach. For me, I find it more important to make a piece of gemara mine, to get it down and understand it, then to cover a lot of ground. I certainly wouldn’t bash other people’s learning, however.

    We are not fooled or impressed by grand ‘siyumim’ at big stadiums or ‘frum’ newspapers and magazines and organizations telling us what a big kiddush hashem it is.

    I think this comment risks being an insult to the gedolim who attend the siyum, and who consider it a big kiddush Hashem. Are you smarter than them?

    Instead I suggest we start having shiurim on halacha topics that matter, mixed with words of aggada and yiras shamayim

    I think this is a great idea, and there are such shiurim in my community (and they don’t compete with or have rivalries with the daf yomi shiur, either).

    as all jewish communities did from time immemorial until recently when this was all substituted for the daily daf.

    Gemara wasn’t studied in previous Jewish communities?

    It is time we stood up for the honor of Hashem and the honor of his Torah.

    These are nice words, but make sure to not stand up for your ideas of honor while stomping on others’ honors to Hashem and His Torah.

    in reply to: Controversial Topics #860220
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Logician,

    GAW – excuse my ignorance. “Poe” ?

    Poe’s law claims that, in an Internet discussion, a deadpanned parody of a fundamentalist argument will always be taken seriously by someone. For example, the poster mosherose made a lot of Poe-style posts. In this thread, gavra_at_work has applied this law by making fundamentalist-sounding arguments bashing rabbis which, in light of his other posts, are parody, yet he is garnering outraged responses.

    I personally think that some of the “outraged” responses we see in the CR are themselves parody, with the intent of portraying the fake fundamentalist argument as a real viewpoint (as opposed to responding “you must be making that up, because I’ve never heard that before”), thus turning the Poe into a straw man.

    in reply to: Controversial Topics #860219
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    gabie,

    Avram: Have you often seen topics of discussion here be used externally from this site as fodder to attack the frum or make us seem backwards?

    Often, no. Sometimes, yes. I’ve also seen it here.

    in reply to: Controversial Topics #860213
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    far east,

    Can someone please explain to me why there is so much hate when posters start controversial topics, i mean is’nt that the point of the CR, to be a place where anything can be discussed freely and with respect. Why is it a problem among certain posters if the topic generates a heated discussion?

    While I have never expressed or felt “hate” when a poster started a controversial topic, I think I understand why it may bother “certain” posters.

    Some topics are inherently inflammatory due to the makeup of our community. When an OP poses a statement or question that is likely to inflame or arouse the trolls among us and then refrains from posting again, it gives the impression that the OP was not interested in an answer to the question (otherwise s/he would have provided feedback to the respondents) or to engage in discussion (otherwise s/he would have engaged in discussion), but rather to watch and laugh at the fireworks which sometimes results in hurt feelings among posters and provide fodder for anti-frum elements.

    A related but more complex issue that does bother me is the subtle use of the CR to make attacks on the reputation of frum communities. This activity usually takes the form of:

    OP: What does the oilam think of [insert controversial, rare, or even made-up-but-frum-sounding chumra forbidding X, almost always related to male-female interactions (and certainly not something obsessed over in real life) here]?

    Real poster: Oh boy, here we go again.

    “Right wing” troll: X is *** –> –> Absolutely <– <– *** forbidden. No. Exceptions. At. All.

    “Left wing” troll [feigning outrage]: Ugh, another crazy chumra, I can’t believe such and such and so and so… I’ve seen such and such and so and so… anyone who thinks they need such a chumrah is crazy, [huff huff] even though I’ve never personally been impacted by this [huff huff], I’m sooo outraged!

    Stoking-the-flames troll: What can X lead to?

    etc. etc.

    X becomes seemingly a big controversy. Rumors and posts get repeated as “I have personally heard that…”. Our community is made to look fractious, backwards and petty, and bloggers pretend that the discussion has legitimacy and use it to bash Orthodoxy in general.

    in reply to: davening from electronic device #1116387
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    WolfishMusings,

    The only reason that the siddur (in your case) is special, is because it has sentimental value *to you*.

    Actually, the OP made no mention of emotional attachment. He provided two examples of why he thought a siddur was a “davar kedusha.” The first example implied an emotional connection. The second (using a shul siddur that others have prayed in) did not. I don’t think he intended his two examples to be exclusive to others as to why a siddur is a “davar kedusha.”

    However, based on your argument, I should only daven from sidduring in which I have an emotional attachment and not any old siddur “off the shelf.”

    Can you really show that from the OP? Seems like you are drawing inferences from the OP based on projections of your own bias. Especially since the siddur “off the shelf” was his second example.

    In fact, the siddur I use was one I bought new in my teens. I still use it today because about 17 years ago, my son got a hold of it and scribbled on some of the pages. Now, whenever I use it, I have a very visible reminder of what I need to daven for.

    Very nice.

    However, according to your theory, I should not have this because when I bought the siddur it was new and did not have the emotional attachment equating to one that my grandmother cried in.

    Again, creating an argument based on a theory that didn’t exist in the OP.

    The Wolf (who is *sure* that someone’s going to tell him that he’s disrespecting HKBH by using a siddur with a child’s scribbles in it.)

    Unwarranted assumption from bias. What makes you so sure?

    in reply to: Hakaros Hatov #935953
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    coreytothecup,

    so why does hakaros hatov only seem to be a chiyuv when something GOOD happens to you? it should also be for when someone does something BAD?

    Note the change from “something” to “someone.” I would have agreed with your statement had it read, “it should also be for when something BAD happens to you.”

    To put it another way, there are two kinds of hakaras hatov: gratitude to Hashem, and gratitude to creation, e.g., people. We should feel gratitude to Hashem for everything that happens to us, because He is in control of everything and knows what is best for us. This is not the case with people, however. So if someone were to heaven forbid hit me, I think it would be amazing and right to show hakaras hatov to Hashem, who is acting for your best interests, but not to the hitter, who was certainly not acting for your best interests. Otherwise, as miritchka pointed out, you would be expressing gratitude for a sin, which is not appropriate.

    in reply to: teens doing chesed #863518
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    WolfishMusings,

    Here’s what my personal translator/ellucidator came up with:

    I am a [untranslatable] Jewish and religious teenager in a Jewish and religious high school. [Due to the fact that I attend this high school,] I feel that I’m not accomplishing [as much] chessed as a girl [my age] should be accomplishing. [This lack of accomplishment is because] I’m too busy with my studies. not quite sure whether I should [accept this and] focus [most of my time] on my studies now and [make up for lost chessed time by] focusing on chessed after my [graduation from] seminary, [or whether I should decrease my focus on my high school studies to make more time for chessed now]. I’m not sure if [the readers of this Web site] understand [my] question [above], but let me know [through responses on this thread] what you think.

    Let me know if that is helpful to you 🙂

    in reply to: Taking home Shampoo from a Hotel #853182
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    AinOhdMilvado,

    I once read that you should NOT return the key cards because they are programmed when they give them to you, with NOT ONLY the data for the lock for your room, but also with PERSONAL information, like your credit card info (that you are using to pay for the room).

    This, I believe, is an urban legend (Snopes labels the claim false). The hotel retains your personal information in their database, so it would be redundant to store it on the magnetic key card.

    in reply to: jeans……?? yes? no? black? white? #856774
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Feif Un,

    Would you wear your pajamas to work? They’re quite comfortable…

    in reply to: jeans……?? yes? no? black? white? #856767
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    I’m not getting it, just coz a bochur is in yeshiva they can’t wear comfortable clothing?

    I don’t find jeans to be comfortable. The material is stiff and thick. If you want comfortable, try sweat pants. Not sure that the reaction at work to my sweat pants would be a good one, though. So maybe we should blame the high unemployment rate in this country on the lack of tolerance for comfortable clothing in the office:-)

    in reply to: Taking home Shampoo from a Hotel #853179
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    These are just my opinions:

    1.) The hotel provides soap and shampoo for its customers to use while they stay in the hotel. The cost to provide these amenities is NOT trivial.

    2.) For sanitary reasons, once a bottle of soap or container of shampoo is opened, it cannot be reused and will be thrown out.

    Therefore, one should only use the amount of shampoo and soap needed to shower. I think it is petty theft to hide or pack unused shampoo or soap each day (whether opened or not) so that the staff provides new bottles that they otherwise would not have provided. On the last day of the stay, however, any remaining unused shampoo or soap is ok to take, since it is effectively garbage to the hotel. If you are unsure about this, ask the front desk. I think the same principle applies for condiment packages in restaurants (e.g., ketchup packets). The condiments cost a lot of money, and are provided with the intention of use with the food you are buying right then from the restaurant – not to stock your kitchen.

    As for the magnetic key cards, the hotel can reuse these and they should be returned unless you are told otherwise by the staff. I once accidentally took a magnetic key with me. I called the hotel from the road (wife was driving, don’t worry) to ask for their mailing address, and they said not to worry and to keep it.

    in reply to: A Conversation With Hashem… #856475
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Logician and Feif Un,

    I can understand where you are coming from. The truth is, however, that we really do not know why many things happen to us. The story told by getzel1 was intended to help a person reframe their attitude and to feel gratitude to Hashem – not to ascribe absolute meaning to the events of a day. Maybe you’re right, maybe getzel1 is right, but the bottom line is that Hashem cares about us, and it’s easier to see that when things are reframed positively. Why should everything that happens to us be a potch from Above and not a yeshua?

    in reply to: shemoneh esrei and the spine #851995
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Ctrl Alt Del,

    Avram, my point is valid either way.

    I’m not sure about that. You posited that our sages brought the 18 vertebrae of the spine as a motivator to the stupid masses for davening Shemoneh Esrei – but it was not meant as a motivator at all, just a connection (or an explanation of bowing during the Shemoneh Esrei). Nothing was said to the effect of, “you should daven all 18 brachos because they represent your spine…” That’s a straw man you made up.

    Iss shver tzuzein a yid back then too.

    Actually, I disagree with this premise too. Literacy rates for Jews was quite high, certainly much higher than in the surrounding populace. In places like Vilna even the simple Jews were engaged in learning. This is not to say that there have been periods and places where education suffered tremendously, but I would think that someone learning Gemara (where you would come across this vertebrae reference) was not a “schlep”, especially since, a few pages before the vertebrae reference, the Gemara discusses the very reasons for our tefillos (in place of the korbonos) that you claim the schlep couldn’t understand.

    Yes, they didn’t have x-rays back then so they did the best they could.

    I think it’s incorrect to assume that the slope of technological and scientific advancement with time was always positive (e.g., the further back in time, the more ignorant). During the time of the Gemara, batteries were in use across the Middle East. The Romans had indoor plumbing. Egyptians practiced surgery. The period right after the Middle Ages was called the Renaissance, meaning a revival, because a lot of the advancements came through rediscovery of things the ancients knew but were subsequently forgotten. I think it’s quite reasonable to assume that the sages of the gemara knew what a human spine looked like – and that we are simply unfamiliar with their particular method of categorization.

    in reply to: shemoneh esrei and the spine #851992
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    WolfishMusings,

    Saying that Chazal were right is Kefirah??!!

    Man, I *really* can’t do anything right, can I? I ought to just give up and cash it in now.

    And why do you presume that 2scents was referring to you?

    It seems to me that you want people on this site to call you a kofer. Why is that?

    in reply to: Whose Minhagim to follow!?! #851526
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    WolfishMusings,

    My belief in Judaism is quite strong.

    according to that opinion

    there were some people who felt

    I’m sure that someone will tell me that I’m transgressing

    I doubted a story about a woman being in a coma for 73 years and was called a Kofer for it

    Because I’ve been told that all of those are violations of halacha in one way or another

    This may come as a surprise to you, but Judaism is not defined as:

    if(someone’s opinion is different from WolfishMusings’ opinion) {

    WolfishMusings is doomed.

    }

    if(someone is an internet troll on YWN yelling “apikorus”) {

    someone is a spokesman for authentic Judaism

    see above

    }

    in reply to: shemoneh esrei and the spine #851977
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    KeenObserver,

    It’s actually 7 cervical + 12 thoracic + 5 lumbar (you missed those). The 5 sacral vertebrae are fused into the sacrum in adulthood, so you might count that as one bone. The coccyx is also made of several rudimentary vertebrae, which are generally fused in adulthood.

    So it’s at least 24 + 1 sacrum + 1 coccyx = 26, and possibly over 30 if you count the sacral and coccygeal vertebrae separately.

    From a picture on Wikipedia, it looks to me like the 7 cervical vertebrae are in the neck/by the skull (i.e., not in the back). That would leave the 12 thoracic and 5 lumbar and the sacrum/coccyx in the back… which would add up to 19 (18 if the tailbone was not considered to be in the back). Perhaps this is how our sages were counting?

    in reply to: shemoneh esrei and the spine #851976
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Ctrl Alt Del,

    I think I saw the reference to the 18 brachos of Shemoneh Esrei corresponding to the 18 bones in the spine brought in the Gemara (4th perek of Brachos), which would not make it some middle ages mystical thought to have. As I recall, the reference to the spine was brought in a discussion of how to bow during Shemoneh Esrei (if physically capable, one should bow deeply enough so that the bones of the spine in your back protruded).

    Now, I doubt that the Tanaaim were unfamiliar with the human spine. How they were counting was likely different than how we count today (perhaps they didn’t count the portion of the spine in the neck as part of the 18, for example, since we were talking about the position of the back when bowing). I’m not an expert on anatomy.

    in reply to: Whose Minhagim to follow!?! #851521
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    WolfishMusings,

    Because then, according to that opinion, I am, once again, doing something wrong.

    To take this one step further…

    According to some, it is not ok to eat gebrockts on Pesach because of the concern that some flour left on the matzah will become chometz once the matzah is made wet. According to others, there is no concern about this, and on the contrary, to avoid gebrockts is wrong because you are reducing your simchas hachag.

    According to some, a married woman should not cover her hair with a sheital, because others may confuse it with her own hair. According to others, a married woman should wear a sheital, because (as I heard it), if the president of the United States came in the room, a woman in a tichel would be tempted to remove it so as to not look foreign or strange in front of somebody so important, but a woman in a wig would not dare remove the wig, which would be incredibly embarrassing.

    When Pesach comes, you have to eat something. When your wife goes out, she has to have something on her head. Can’t please everyone all the time!

    For some reason, I don’t feel that such contradictions threaten my belief in Judaism. So what if somebody down the street things I’m doing something wrong?

    in reply to: Whose Minhagim to follow!?! #851520
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    WolfishMusings,

    Because then, according to that opinion, I am, once again, doing something wrong.

    Ok… but why would that bother you?

    in reply to: Compelling All Jews to Perform Mitzvos and Follow Halacha #852039
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Doswin,

    Avram’s point was your family would be scared for *your* welfare. Doesn’t that concern you?

    Yes, that was my point.

    so an invitation to do justice upon you

    Technically, I don’t think the OP’s point was to say that a beis din should beat people who have done [insert activity here], which is purely retributive, but rather to discuss the permissibility of a beis din using beatings to elicit future compliance with halacha, which, when it was in effect, was probably an exceptionally rare occurrence. This is splitting hairs, I know, but the distinction is important.

    This is not to say I agree with or support the OP, on the contrary, I think s/he was trolling to garner outraged responses at the expense of halacha, and was richly rewarded.

    in reply to: Compelling All Jews to Perform Mitzvos and Follow Halacha #852036
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    WolfishMusings,

    I’ve given you plenty of reasons to come beat me up above in this thread. Form a bais din and come do so.

    I don’t know about your family, but my wife would be pretty upset with me and scared if I posted something like that to the Internet where potentially unstable people could read it.

    in reply to: Whose Minhagim to follow!?! #851517
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    WolfishMusings,

    The wolf: what tune to sing is not a minhag – be my guest and change to a new tune every year…

    I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some people who felt it was.

    And why would this bother you?

    in reply to: The Koach of our Gedolim: A Story with Rav Chaim shlit"a #851427
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    WolfishMusings,

    If something that is said regarding rabbiofberlin can be applied to you (ROB = X, Wolf = ROB, therefore Wolf = X), then it follows that things said regarding you can be applied to others.

    in reply to: french fries #851052
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    aidel_maidel,

    To get them like store bought, you’ll probably need a deep fryer.

    in reply to: The Koach of our Gedolim: A Story with Rav Chaim shlit"a #851424
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    WolfishMusings,

    I doubted a story about a woman being in a coma for 73 years and was called a Kofer for it.

    Being able to Fargin; Nature or Nurture?

    You are rabbiofberlin? (since in the post you linked us to it was ROB who was called the “koifer”)

    in reply to: Between A Rock and a Hard Place #840212
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    ZeesKite,

    I think we are in agreement here (other than you thinking my last name is Aveinu:-). I feel like I posted perhaps one too many times in “that” thread, and even if the mods had not closed it, I was ready to call it quits.

    in reply to: Graphology #840201
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    I think graphology is a fun recreational activity (e.g., analyzing each others’ handwriting at a party for laughs), but it really is so subjective and that I don’t think it should be used beyond games. Just imagine a scenario where an employer rejects an applicant because of “something” he or she saw in the applicant’s handwriting sample.

    in reply to: Between A Rock and a Hard Place #840209
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Wow, ZeesKite, I’m on your radar screen? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

    PS – Have I insulted anyone in that thread, or do you feel it is wrong to be passionate (or heated, if you will) about an issue in general?

    in reply to: Mods, please do something. Thanks. #843853
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    If it offended you, I apologize for my “doodyhead” comment.

    Once things sunk to that low, I thought that perhaps the mods should institute a nap time after apple juice and snacks 🙂

    in reply to: Abolishing Chanukah?! #840419
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Zimri ben Salu was a prince in shevet Shimon, and Cozbi bas Tzur was a princess of Midian. How exactly do they compare to a little Jewish girl?

    in reply to: Abolishing Chanukah?! #840418
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Also, why do we venerate Pinchas ben Elozar ben Aharon ha’Cohen? Was not he very violent? What about Yehoshua bin Nun, who presided over the slaughter of the freedom-loving(read: aveiros-loving) Kena’anim?

    Irrelevant comparisons unless you are suggesting that Pinchas ben Elazar spat on an 8 year old Jewish girl who had committed no sins, or that spitting on a modestly dressed girl is codified in the Torah, heaven forbid!

    in reply to: 8 year old gets spit on by chassidim #840178
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Health,

    This [why men who supposedly care about shemiras einayim would congregate around a girls school with improperly dressed girls/parents for any reason -recap mine] is a logical question. But I’ve posted here a few times -there is a reason and s/o should start a topic about it.

    Please, provide me a reason. I cannot think of any.

    Noone here defended the spitter.

    I don’t know what you are talking about -name s/o who is afraid to condemn it?

    You.

    Example:

    Not defending the spitter, but his spitting was a reaction to the provocation.

    This is a defense of the spitter… providing a justification. Your adding “not defending the spitter” to this defense of the spitter does nothing but make an oxymoron. Like when the P.A. says, “oh, we condemn suicide bombings, but the suicide bombers are just reacting to Israeli oppression…” No, the spitting was not a reaction to any provocation. It was an act of abuse, an assault, pure and simple.

    You are starting to sound like the Freye or MO haters.

    I’m not afraid of your threatened labels.

    Every single Charedi must proclaim from the rooftops and scream we are against spitting or we all are complicit with the spitters.

    Typical double standard!

    As a Jewish male who cares about guarding my eyes, this was a crime that was committed in my name, in my defense! So yes, I or my leaders have a responsibility to speak out. If someone heaven forbid killed a motorist and told the police that he did it so that “Avram in MD” would have a quicker commute, you’d better bet that I’d condemn it!

    Does Every Single MO or settler condemn publically the desecration & burning of Mosques and attack on soldiers?

    The Yesha Council and Im Tirtzu, among other prominent officials in that movement did unequivocally condemn the violence.

    Does Every Single Freye Jew (Chiloni) condenm the crimes that occur daily amongst them?

    Should we follow their lead?

    in reply to: 8 year old gets spit on by chassidim #840151
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    This is nuts, absolutely nuts.

    I care about shemiras einayim and hilchos tznius. I am personally bothered when people are lax with these halachos. But these protesters are so warped in their actions that I can’t believe anyone here is attempting to mount a defense for them.

    Let’s not even get into the spitting on an 8-year old yet. That’s in a league of its own. Why are these protesters even there? If what “Health” says is true, that they can see immodestly dressed women from their windows due to this school, how on earth can they justify running up to the school to get a closer look (while yelling at them of course)? Would a person concerned about exposure to radiation protest a nuclear power plant being built across the street from his house by running into the radioactive core? Pure shemiras einayim cannot be their motivation, because if it were, it would be their WIVES out there protesting. The men would stay as far away from the school as they could, choosing instead to complain through other channels. My wife would never want me to place myself in a situation where it would be certain that I would see pritzus. In fact, to do that is a violation of halacha.

    Now for the spitting. Some (or one) here have attempted to say, “the MO started it, so they have the blame for inflaming the crazies.” Excuse me? That’s an argument little children use. Real adults take responsibility for their actions, no matter what instigated the situation. If I assault a guy who cut me off in traffic, do you think the cops will excuse me if I said, “but he started it, he had it coming! He shoulda known that there are crazy people around!” Another argument made here to defend these men is “maybe the children are dressed ok, but the problem is the mothers walking the children to school are immodest…” Well then, why was it the 8-year old girl who got spit on? Did the monster miss the mother and hit the girl by mistake? Maybe he was accidentally facing children when hurling epithets and meant to face the mothers? I don’t think so.

    Unfortunately we do have a tznius problem, and I think some people here are afraid that if they fully condemned the spitter, they would somehow be yielding ground in their argument. But this crime was not about tznius. If we allow tznius to be co-opted by sheer perversion, to be used as a weapon by debauched individuals to violate women with the veneer of “holiness”, then we lose everything.

    Misogyny is not a mitzvah.

    in reply to: Lip Synching and Deception #835949
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Wolf,

    There are a lot of people who “lip-sync” during Simchas Torah, either because their voices get tired, or they aren’t sure of all of the words of the song, or perhaps for your reasons, yet they still want to participate as much as possible.

    Are you therefore to say that all of these Jews do not merit the Shechina’s presence? What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. Don’t give us the “this only applies to me” stuff. Sheker is sheker, no matter who does it.

    As someone who has lip-synced during Simchas Torah for several of the reasons I mentioned above, I am bothered by this trolling thread.

    in reply to: A Shabbos Desecrator Saying Vayechulu With the Congregation #835828
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Hi WolfishMusings,

    I was wondering if you had any responses to my replies to you here.

    Thanks!

    Avram in MD
    Participant

    popa_bar_abba,

    I couldn’t agree with you more.

    Also, regarding the early Chanukah party, many offices host their “holiday” (read: Xmas) parties at least a week before the holiday, because many employees take leave during the week leading up to, or after the holiday.

    Assuming there isn’t a Federal shutdown next week, I think President Obama is planning a vacation in Hawaii.

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