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Joseph,
Does that include items like wristwatches or rings?
Joseph,
As you likely noticed, when you see a frum husband and wife in the front seats of a car or other motor vehicle you will generally see, in the vast majority of the times, the husband in the driver’s seat. This is even the case among frum families where women are permitted to drive.
Why do you think this is the case?
Because husbands are required to honor their wives more than themselves, so it makes sense for them to serve as the chauffeurs. 🙂
Syag Lchochma,
I don’t think he said or meant that, and I don’t think you think he said or meant that.
It was not a quote of what he said, but I do think that it was his meaning. Also, I’m uncomfortable that you’d think I would write something that I knew to be inaccurate. And I’m curious as to why FuturePOTUS seems to be ignoring my posts.
Meno,
People who receive benefits when they could be working instead are also not good for the welfare of the nation
Do you think the presence of benefits is a significant contributor to unemployment? I think a bigger problem is the gap between the “poverty” rates that determines benefits and what a true livable income is. If you were offered a job that would result in a reduction of your income, would you take it?
oyyoyyoy,
And benefits like these are a brachah but not deserved
Whether or not anyone “deserves” a benefit is a red herring. Who “deserves” anything? The basis of the U.S. government, the Constitution, explicitly states that the purpose of the government is to, among other things, “promote the general Welfare.” Poverty and hunger, particularly among children who cannot choose who their parents, are not good for the welfare of the nation.
Syag Lchochma,
I disagree. seeing how quotes get mangled, misquoted, misunderstood and disrespected (sometimes) I would be hesitant to put too much out there.
I can certainly relate to that. I prefer not to share personal psakim that I have gotten from my rav; it just feels wrong. In this case, however, FuturePOTUS declared that a thread I was participating in was among the most ridiculous he had ever seen, stated that “my” position was wrong (he has not directly addressed me, but addressed another poster with a similar, albeit more extreme, position), supported his position by revealing that he asked a shaila and got a psak that clearly answers “all” of my difficulties, but refuses to divulge any of those answers because the CR participants are not worthy of discussing the psak. I don’t feel like I’m being untoward in any way by asking for the reasoning that would allegedly clear up my difficulties. I’m genuinely curious and open to expanding my knowledge of hilchos lashon hara.
mik5,
“HOLD UP YOUR HANDS”
Hmmm… To show that you don’t have any weapons?
Lol, no. I meant the almost reflexive gesture many people make to nonverbally apologize.
Is one permitted to make gestures to other people while reciting a bracha?
No. That’s a good point, and an interesting question. It might be better for me to make no gestures, and then apologize and explain when finished. Bedieved the bracha is still valid despite the gesture. Good question to bring separately to each of my eight local Orthodox gedolim hador 🙂
FuturePOTUS,
I’ll mention a few more things about this though. He did see the original post, and read through many of the responses.
Thank you for the clarification of this at least.
[He] gave a full logical reason as to why the post did not constitute an issur l’halacha. What he said fully answers the questions and difficulties you had with the psak. I didn’t post the details online, because as I said on the original thread, it’s not for those who don’t have smicha to debate the psak from someone who does
I, for one, don’t want to debate a psak you received, but to understand the reasoning. Unlike many Internet denizens, I can be convinced. 🙂 I understand why you wouldn’t post your rav’s name; I’d personally be upset on his behalf if you did, but I do not understand why you refuse to post the reasoning.
and as we can all see, even though I left out the details, it still became a massive discussion.
I think it became a “massive” (27 posts is massive?) discussion largely because you left out the details.
If a smartphone per se is the issue (because, for example, it has so much integrated into something so portable), but a laptop is not, then perhaps a Chromebook could be a solution. Chromebooks are increasingly getting access to Android apps, so you could run a “smartphone” app on a laptop device. Also, if there is a Windows phone version of the app, and it is written for the “Universal Windows Platform” (UWP), then it can likely be run on a Windows 10 laptop or desktop as well.
WinnieThePooh,
Anyway, at work, to access our network when off premises, we have to insert a passcode that is generated by this little token. Today I was informed that they are phasing out these tokens, and instead everyone will be able to get these passcodes via an application on their smartphones.
Can you ask your employer’s IT department if there is a desktop/browser version of the app that can be used on a laptop, or if the passcode can be sent to an email address rather than phone number?
mik5,
One time I was offered something at work that was cholov stam, and the lady showed me the OU-D and said, ‘See? It’s kosher. You can eat it.” How does one explain himself out of such a situation? Should I claim to be lactose intolerant? But on a different day they will see me eating my cholov Yisroel yogurt!
It doesn’t have to be complicated; just be super nice and show gratitude. Smile, and say, “oh, no thank you, but I really appreciate how thoughtful you are for finding this!” If she went through a lot of trouble to get it, or she’s likely to do it again, then you probably should politely and concisely explain your kashrus standards.
If one just said the words Baruch ata Hashem Elokeinu Melech Haolam (e.g., of asher yatzar) and there is a goy who asks you a question, what should you do? (It happened to me one time but I had only said Baruch ata Hashem so I quickly ended off with lamdeini chukecha.)
Smile and hold up a finger, finish the bracha, then apologize and explain that you were making a blessing. If they ask what the blessing was about, you can say that Jews make many blessings throughout the day for various reasons, and that this one was thanking G-d for your body and health.
mik5,
For example, if you are at work and you need to say asher yatzar or a bracha on thunder/ lightning, how would you do it? Would you cover your mouth with your hand? Would you pick up the telephone and pretend that you are talking on the phone?
There is a middle ground between the two extremes of acting embarrassed to do a mitzva and doing the mitzva in a way that is disruptive to the environment you are in. Asher yatzar is, for me, the “toughest” to do in public, but I will pause outside of the bathroom and say it quietly. If someone looks at me quizzically, I will politely smile and hold up my hands. Most people are smart enough to put two and two together – the kippa and tzitzis, doing something unfamiliar, he must be doing a “Jewish thing”). As for bircas hamazon, I agree with iacisrmma – it is extremely helpful to look in a bentcher while bentching. This lets passers by know that you are praying. Have you never put on tefillin in public?
I personally don’t think it would be a good idea to share the rav’s name publicly – we don’t even know what the exact shaila was, so it probably wouldn’t be fair to the rav. Additionally, it reduces FuturePOTUS’s privacy.
From FuturePOTUS’s retelling of the psak, the focus of the question asked to the rav was on the fact that the enrollment application and subsequent request to the parent were derided publicly, and the city in which it happened was mentioned. That was not all that was written, however. I found the swipes at a specific institution (whose relevance to a girl’s high school is uncertain) and “klal Yisroel’s” stature to be more problematic than mentioning the city or decrying the incident. No idea whether those additional swipes were included in the shaila, but it wasn’t discussed here, and it seems not.
Syag Lchochma,
Rebyidd said that this was all said by an acquaintance. Where your responses to RebYidd, or to the acquaintance?
Is this an offshoot of your disagreement with Syag Lchochma over the shoes-Autism joke?
????
Both, in a way. RebYidd23’s OP to this thread posted a hypothetical question from an acquaintance, and then the next day bumped the “I know it was a joke” thread, which seems to have strong parallels to his acquaintance’s hypothetical. So I assumed this thread was related to the other.
RebYidd23 then clarified above that the OP did come from an acquaintance years ago, but that after posting it he was indeed reminded of his parallel experience in the other thread (hence the bump, I’m guessing).
So now … ?
RebYidd23,
You don’t know what offended the person (and neither do I). I was talking about a real-life former friend who asked me that years ago. We lost touch and I just randomly remembered this a week ago and wondered if I’d answered correctly.
Ok. Out of curiosity, what was your answer?
RebYidd23,
Also, what makes you the arbiter of what my acquaintances find offensive about what others find offensive?
lol, you’re right of course, but you asked us what we’d say to the acquaintance.
RebYidd23,
Would you be okay with it if you were there while someone mentioned Jews in a neutral way and a goy got up and said wow that’s offensive some of us have to deal with Jewish people every day?
I don’t think your acquaintance made a correct interpretation of what offended the person.
I have found personally that setting up hypothetical cases to try and make a point or describe my feelings to others has a success rate of 0%. It’s better to dan l’chaf zechus (e.g., I’m sure your statement wasn’t meant this way…) and then directly share your feelings (… but when I heard it, it made me feel …).
RebYidd23,
Imagine if an acquaintance sat down next to you and said the following:
“Years ago, when people got offended by something I said, I was deeply offended by their taking offense.That’s understandable. It doesn’t feel good when someone gets offended by something you say, especially if you didn’t mean anything bad.
They weren’t even in the group that it was supposedly offensive to
I don’t think offense is limited by any social rule to members of the group spoken about; for example, I feel grateful when non-Jews are offended by and stand up to anti-Semitism. Sometimes a lack of knowledge can lead to misinformed offense, however, such as when a non-Jewish acquaintance of mine thought that the word “Jew” was a pejorative.
(whether I am is a machlokes among the experts),
Is this an offshoot of your disagreement with Syag Lchochma over the shoes-Autism joke?
and what I said shouldn’t have been offensive to anyone, in group or not,
Unfortunately, we don’t get to be the arbiter of what another person finds hurtful or offensive.
but their offense led me to question my identity. I’ve started feeling ashamed of who I am again.”
What would you answer them?Why would someone’s offense affect you so deeply (beyond the pain of experiencing someone’s offense)? You didn’t mean any offense, and the vast majority of posters didn’t seem to find your comments offensive (if I’m interpreting the impetus of this thread correctly). So why not just compassionately explain your viewpoint? Also, from what was written before, I’m not sure the person taking offense was necessarily “out of the group”, as in, unaffected/unrelated.
I do not believe that the way I pronounce Lashon Kodesh (Ashkenazic dialect) is the exact same as it was pronounced during the time of Bayis Rishon, but I believe I am correct in using that dialect because it is my minhag.
I believe that tzitzis should have a strand of techeiles in them, but I wear tzitzis that are completely white.
I’ve heard that Rav Shlomo Yitzchak (Rashi) would modestly sign his letters with his initials (shin-yud), and that others would then use that convention when referring to him, first respectfully putting a reish (rav) in front, making “Rashi.” So it’s highly likely that he was referred to as “Rashi” even when he was alive. As for others with acronyms, I have no idea.
BoysWork,
Who decided what is the appropriate uniform for jewish people? If you say its white shirt, black hat, etc, well, there are countless frum jews who do not conform to that.
I think this overstates the situation, as does One of the chevra’s response above that likens the white shirt/black hat to a policeman’s uniform. Nobody “decided” that any color clothing or hat type is the appropriate uniform for Jews. The Jewish people has numerous cultural groups, and just as all cultures have unique norms and values, a few of these groups have adopted white shirts, black pants, hat, jacket, etc. as a norm. Trying to make a halachic argument for or against this norm isn’t really apropos. Norms are a very powerful identifier and unifier within a group.
Does that not make them just as good a jew as you?
Unfortunately, as we are all human beings, no group is immune to prejudice and intolerance of those considered “outside” of the group. Trying to unite the various tribes, factions, cultures, of the Jewish people is an ongoing project which started thousands of years ago.
(even though the wonderful Art Scroll people decided to photoshop the pics).
Can you cite an example of this in an Artscroll book? I’d be interested to see it.
Lenny1970,
I think cultivating a relationship with a rabbi – not just a one time question type of interaction – is very important. A rabbi who knows you well can help guide you on the proper path for your personal circumstances, and can likely provide counsel with respect to your case before the beis din.
zahavasdad,
I remember the event, though I don’t live in NY. The storm produced more than one tornado in the city, as well as extensive straight-line wind damage and large hail. The NYC tornadoes were shorter tracked and less powerful than the ones in Texas a few days ago, but still caused numerous injuries and a couple fatalities.
Probably gave their children coins to feed a pay phone. Or let their kids call them collect. That’s what my parents did for me. It’s much harder to find a pay phone today. For the record, I personally have not bought any of my children a smartphone.
lightbrite,
Tornadoes form from thunderstorms, particularly supercell thunderstorms, which are discrete, small in size (compared to hurricanes and snowstorms, for example), and have a short warning time. It can be sunny and warm just a few miles from a violent tornado.
Large tornado outbreaks can be predicted, sometimes days in advance, but it is impossible to predict the exact path of any tornado until the severe thunderstorms have actually developed. Therefore, I’m not sure closing a shul on a day with an enhanced tornado threat makes sense. Obviously if one hears thunder or sees a storm approaching, he should take shelter and wait for it to pass before venturing outside. Note that in the eastern U.S., most thunderstorms produce very heavy rainfall, and the rain shield may obscure a tornado from view.
Some communities in areas where tornado outbreaks are more likely have warning sirens that sound when a tornado warning is issued. Most communities in the eastern U.S. do not have these sirens. There are weather radios that can be purchased, and set up to sound an alarm if a tornado warning is issued for your local area.
One other thing – if you rely on an eruv and severe weather has struck your area, it is possible that the eruv may be damaged and down.
zahavasdad,
It is well known that what we call “Corn” is actually Indian Maize. It is a plant native to North America
Corn and Turkey are the 2 most well known foods native to North America that did not exist in Europe until Columbus
Cool facts. But how do they respond to my post?
Note also that the hospital situation is quite different than the IDF situation.
Avi K,
What happens when chumrot conflict? For example, in your hospital case those who are makpid to eat gebruchts as per the Gra, who said that those who do not will ahve to give an account as to why they did not do the mitzva of simchat Yom Tov, lose out (BTW, someone I know said that he has a cousin in America who is such a big Mitnagged that he eats it every day EXCEPT the eighth).
I don’t think that someone who is unable to eat gebrochts because s/he is in the hospital and the kosher kitchen there does not have them will have to give an account. Also, the hospital kitchen not having gebrochts does not stop the patient/guests from bringing their own to the hospital, if they are makpid to eat them.
What about those members of the Eidot HaMizrach for who it is not Pesach if there is no rice?
See above.
If, G-d forbid, I were in the hospital over Pesach, I would be grateful if I had matza, marror, wine, and anything else kosher to eat, and the ability to eat it.
zahavasdad,
Tapioca is not Kitniyot
Correct. But its flour is often used as a substitute for wheat flours in gluten free recipes. So if you want to prove that potato starch can produce bread as a standalone, you should find a recipe that doesn’t use other flours as a crutch.
But at the end of the day, the ability for potato starch to produce fluffy Pesach cakes isn’t the issue.
zahavasdad,
You can make flour out of alot things , that are not Chametz or Kitniyot
Correct. And some of these “flours” more closely resemble flour from grains that can be made into chometz, and we call the source material for those lookalike flours kitniyos. Because of the resemblance, Ashkenazim have a minhag of not eating kitniyos on Pesach. Rice made the cut and are considered kitniyos, potatoes did not make the cut, despite the fact that both can be made into “flour” and used to bake breadlike products. When new plants are introduced to a community that can be used to make “flour”, it is up to our Torah authorities to categorize them.
The ability to make flour is not the reason to make Kitniyot
No, but the ability to make flours that can be confused with flour that can become chometz is.
zahavasdad,
It was brought back to Europe and it was mistaken for something else because the word was similar
Do you have a source for this notion, or is it a guess/wishful thinking?
zahavasdad,
Potato Bread Recipe (I am not commenting on the kashruth of any of the items in this list) I just cut and pasted it
Find me a recipe that doesn’t require 3/4 cup of tapioca flour. Also, why all the effort to prove potato bread? People make all sorts of fluffy cakes made from potato starch for Pesach desserts.
Grains are Chametz, not Kitniyot
Maize is not Chametz and is only Kitniyot because someone made a mistake.
If you’re going to kvetch about terminology, at least get your terminology correct. You seem to trust Wikipedia, so go read the first sentence of the Wikipedia entry for maize and then come back and tell me it’s not a grain.
Also, grains are NOT chometz. Chometz is the result of wetting the flour of a certain subset of grains (wheat, spelt, barley, rye, and oats) and allowing that mixture to rise (e.g., by leaving it in that condition for longer than 18 minutes).
Maize is kitniyos because its flour can be confused for flour that can produce chometz. Your repeated argument that someone made a “mistake” therefore only strengthens the case that it is kitniyos.
Avi K,
Sometimes because of exigencies it is not possible to cater to everyone’s whims.
Calling other people’s minhagim “whims”. Right out of the gate it’s clear that you’re not arguing from a place of mutual respect.
Sometimes it is even necessary to rely on leniencies.
How is forcing men to go to concerts “necessary” in the slightest? Or refusing to bring in mehadrin kosher food for soldiers who need it?
If the IDF is serious about wanting chareidim to serve, then they have to demonstrate basic respect for chareidi beliefs. They have to decide whether the army is fundamentally a tool for assimilation, or a force representing all Israelis that protects the nation.
MDG,
“No, kitniyos is not chometz, but still assur for Ashkenazim.”
That should be “assur for Ashkenazim to eat.”
That should be “assur for Ashkenazim to eat during Pesach” 🙂
zahavasdad,
Wild rice is another example of people making things Kitynot that isnt. Wild rice is a GRASS not a rice, the only thing it has in common with rice is the name and it sort of looks like rice, but its a GRASS
All cereal grains (wheat, spelt, maize, etc.) are grasses too. Halachic categories and botanical categories are different things, so trying to shove the square peg of botanical categories into the round hole of kitniyos is an exercise in futility.
misteryudi,
So all you are suggesting, in reality, is that WE, the peasants, are not allowed to think for ourselves, and instead we must have others think for us. And not only that, but we are not even allowed to consider the benefits of other people’s hashkafos/ halachic rulings, and that only OURS are correct, and are the only real truth.
My personal view is this: when learning Torah, it is vital to consider multiple viewpoints, to think things through, and to understand all sides of an issue as best as possible. When encountering a halachic shaila, however, even if I know that there are multiple potential answers, some lenient, some stringent, it is best to surrender the decision to my rav. By doing this, I remove the risk that I am following my own desires, not Hashem’s. That is a conscious and thought out choice, not blind following.
😵 (from reading)
zahavasdad,
The army can be diverse until you get in that Foxhole and you have to be prepared to be in that foxhole
So how does providing a Jew with mehadrin kosher food affect foxhole prep?
nishtdayngesheft,
So apparently someone does not believe In hashgocha pratis.
I didn’t assume that from zahavasdad’s post, but your point brought an interesting question to my mind. I’ve learned that in some cases, when a plague was unleashed, the destruction caused was, from our perspective at least, indiscriminate, meaning that both reshaim and tzadikkim in its path would both face danger from it. On the other hand, when the officers declare that those who have started but not completed the acts of building a house, redeeming a vineyard, and marrying a woman should depart, the officer continues and says that those who are fearful should leave. Rashi, quoting R’ Yose the Galilean, comments that the fearful man’s fear arises from knowing that he has sinned and may not merit divine protection, so he leaves with the others, so that other soldiers do not recognize him as a sinner. This presumes that the weapons of heated battle do not cause indiscriminate death.
I think the developers are playing a game with us, because there were so many complaints about the long lists of “awaiting moderation” that we saw yesterday 🙂
Joseph,
That’s a good safeguard and nice upgrade to the site! My concern was more about people retyping their message manually and then reposting. In this case, most of the time the text won’t be identical, so the “duplicate” post will still go through. This is frustrating to the both poster and the readers, and will eventually annoy the mods. A possible example of this is here, where zahavasdad possibly thought his initial post went into a black hole, and thus resposted a shorter version of the original post that was published right above.
zahavasdad,
The Army is about everyone being equal
Respecting diversity and treating people as equals are certainly not mutually exclusive concepts. In fact, forcing some in a unit to compromise on their values but not others is not treating people equally.
When you are in the Foxhole and being shot at, the bullets being shot at you dont ask if you are Makpid Chalav Yisroel, Beis Yosef or even if you eat Kosher.
And in the U.S. army, the bullets don’t ask if you keep kosher and go to shul on Shabbos, or if you eat fish on Fridays and go to mass on Sundays. Are you opposed to the U.S. army providing kosher food to Jewish soldiers, or allowing Catholic soldiers leave to attend mass?
Part of army training is getting people to follow this philosophy.
Training which should actually include respect for diversity, not squashing it.
You have to have the thinking your fellow soldier is your comrade and equal otherwise you cannot fight together and when one of you is hurt, you have to help your wounded comrade
What is the relevance of this sentence?
Avi K,
I don’t think either of these cases reflect a lack of humor, but the impact of cultural differences. If someone is not yet or only recently fluent with a new language or culture, it is difficult to discern dry humor. When making such jokes to someone who is less familiar with one’s culture or language, it would be chessed to follow-up with a laugh and, “just a joke”. Yes that might spoil the dry humor delivery, but better a ruined joke than an embarrassed friend.
I bet the Israeli you know who fell for the red light joke is very funny in other situations. Same with the American on the IDF base.