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Joseph,
What life circumstances, questions or other activities is it appropriate for a Jew to ask his Rov what to do,
Anything where you desire a Torah perspective.
which are situations that isn’t very obvious to everyone that the Rov is the correct person to seek guidance from?
Giving tzedaka.
Gadolhadorah,
Perhaps yidden need to setp back, take responsibility for their own lives and seek advice from whoever is best qualified to offer such help.
Who says “yidden” don’t?
In many cases involving halacaha, a rav may be well-positioned to provide needed guidance
The hedging here sounds a bit strange. If a rav is not best suited for halachic shailos, then who would be?
but on most matters of personal well being, family relationships, financial health, jobs and education, the decision will go well beyond Halacha and the advice or real experts in the subject matter should be relied upon.
B”H, I have a close relationship with my rav, and seek his counsel on a wide range of issues that affect me and my family. This has never prevented me from also utilizing the services of whatever expert is best positioned to deal with the situation at hand. Rather, it enhances my approach to the situation by adding a perspective grounded in Torah. Not to mention that most things that happen in life do end up having halachic ramifications.
While preparing for Pesach one year, I had the bright idea of bringing the tempered glass fridge shelving upstairs to wash in the bathtub with warm water. BOOM. A few small cuts, a tub full of small pieces of glass to clean up, and a phone call to the fridge company to order a new shelf was added to the pre-Yomtov stress. Yet somehow, I didn’t get fired from helping with the Pesach cleaning.
DovidBT,
Your sentiment is part of the reason we have the bracha “hashiva shofeteinu k’varishona” in our shemona esrei, but in the absence of the centralized halachic authority that will iy”H be restored when Moshiach comes, the LOR sticking to the mesora he received from his rebbe is doing the right thing. Even though it may be different from the mesora of the rav down the street.
DovidBT,
That’s what bothers me. These LOR’s are supposed to be wise.
Why does the fact that poskim differ reflect on their wisdom in any way?
Why can’t they collaborate and come up with a common standard? Wouldn’t that promote unity among Jews?
Unity is nice and desirable, but our primary purpose here is fealty to Hashem and is Torah. We see in this week’s parsha the results of putting the ideal of unity above our service to Hashem: the tower of Bavel. If a rav has a mesora in halacha, it is wrong for him to compromise it for the sake of “unity”. True unity comes through respect for our diverse mesoros, not melting them into a single pot.
Is there a reason why there are so many groups of observant Jews who follow different practices?
Because we have been in galus with no Sanhedrin, king, judge, prophet, or kohen for 2000 years. All we have is our Torah and our mesora, and every Jew must keep what he has received to the best of his ability. Yes there are differences, but take a step back and compare our differences with the schisms within Christianity and Islam, who have not experienced anything like what we’ve experienced, and you’ll see that the observant Jewish world is actually quite united in belief and practice.
akuperma,
1. It is a “proof” we can bring when arguing with frei Jews that Humash is not a later forgery attributed to an earlier period, since if that were so it would certainly contain references to what became the most common domestic fowl among Jews. Chickens were common by the end of Bayis Rishon (when the apikoresim say Humash was written), but not prior to the period of the shoftim (i.e. not during the time of us being in the midbar).
I think you mean secular biblical scholars and not frei Jews. If you ask a typical frei Jew when the Torah was written, he’d say, “beats me!” It’s an interesting point, but I don’t think it would make any difference in a debate.
2. It suggests that the concept of a “mesorah” (tradition) as to which birds are kosher has always been flexible (bad news for turkeys and braekel/heirloom chickens hoping for long lives). Usually when we talk about halacha based on a mesorah, we mean a tradition going back to Sinai, but for birds it suggests a tradition reflecting the consensus of earlier generations of Bnei Torah (turkeys to the early achronim, chickens to the period of the Shoftim and Bayis Rishon).
We have to rely on a mesora of kashrus for bird species now because we can no longer definitely identify the non-kosher bird species that the Torah lists. I think it’s safe to assume that Jews living in the Bayis Rishon period knew the non-kosher bird species definitively, and therefore could eat chickens because they knew they weren’t on the list.
If a guy gets bent out of shape due to gentle and possibly accidental contact during hoshanos, then he’s a drama maker. Drama can only be defeated by bigger drama. Yell “AYIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” and smack him on the head with your lulav. That’ll fix everything; i.e., you will no longer be encumbered by that particular minyan.
🙂
Frum_Bachur,
I’m sure that you ate meals at those restaurants and watched the movie and ballgame yourself, so around half of those costs you listed were for your own entertainment.
Nobody is stopping you from asking the young woman to help defray the costs of the dates. If you choose to do that, however, it might be a good idea to let her know in advance so that she can prepare. Also, allow her to choose some of the venues, because you don’t want her to feel pressured to pay above her means. That said, I don’t think it’s a good idea, becuase it may lessen your chances of making a shidduch, which is the whole point of dating in the first place. You did, after all, write, “you get what you pay for” 🙂
Another option is to choose less expensive venues.
Joseph,
What is your opinion about Melaleuca?
Like Australian Pine, an invasive tropical tree that is harmful to South Florida’s ecology.
Almonds today have shells too.
Gadolhadorah,
I think your approach is very good advice for a lot of goals, but I’ve found that varying wake up times (early on Monday, later on Tuesday, etc.) are hard on the body if we’re talking more than an hour difference. I daven at a hashkoma minyan on Shabbos morning, and often the latest possible davening on Sunday, especially during the summer when motzei Shabbos cleanup is late. When my Shabbos morning to Sunday morning wake up time is 2 hours different, I’ve found that I can get a nasty headache on Sunday, despite the extra rest.
1. Avoiding screen time (phones, computers, etc.) for an hour minimum before he intends to go to sleep. Exposure to the brightness of these screens, even for a few minutes, tricks the brain into daytime mode.
2. Not trying to go to bed early to kick off his new schedule – that’s just frustrating. Instead, forcing himself to get up early the next morning no matter what. His body will be much more amenable to an earlier bedtime the subsequent nights.
3. Focusing on the benefits of tefilla b’tzibbur. The added strength to his prayers going up, the amens, the kedusha, the satisfaction of knowing he is doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing and in the right place.
4. A little physical reward for making it to shul, like a nice cup of coffee or breakfast item, is not a bad idea.
5. He should be very rigid with the new schedule for at least a month – this allows it to become routine.
coffee addict,
I think your perception of Hurricane Irma as a dud is not because of the actual storm impact, which was quite large, but because the storm was the most media hyped hurricane in history. Hurricane Irma had the potential to be much more catastrophic, but Florida got a few good bounces: the brush with Cuba disrupted the inner core of the hurricane, weakening the storm and preventing substantial restrengthening over the hot waters of the Gulf of Mexico, the storm became increasingly asymmetric due to increasing shear and the interaction with Cuba, so the offshore flow on the north side (pushing water away from Tampa Bay and other heavily populated Gulf Coast areas) was stronger than the onshore flow on the backside of the hurricane – which mitigated storm surge impacts along the Gulf Coast. Also, the hurricane took a substantial northward lurch after moving away from Cuba, resulting in a landfall south of Naples and an inland track along the I-75 corridor, which lessened impacts to areas such as Tampa, St. Petersburg, and Tallahassee. A track right along the Gulf Coast would have been worse. Finally, a bunch of cold air got entrained into the storm (note that much of Georgia was in the 50s on Monday, and even northern Florida was in the low 60s… certainly not hurricane-friendly temperatures!) which promoted rapid weakening.
That said, the middle Keys and Naples area suffered substantial damage from Irma’s inner core, and the wind field was quite large, so despite the track well to the west, Irma produced robust and long-lasting tropical storm conditions (sustained winds between 40 and 74mph, with some hurricane force gusts) across the entire Atlantic coast of Florida, resulting in widespread power outages and some surge flooding – even in Jacksonville, which was impressive. Several tornadoes were also spawned in the right-front quadrant of the storm across eastern Florida, including one which caused considerable damage in Palm Bay. And the weaker but large wind field brought a lot of trees down in Georgia (different vegetative landscape than Florida), resulting in widespread power outages and some fatalities.
Had the storm turned northward sooner, avoiding Cuba and raking the East Coast, or spent more time over the Gulf of Mexico (passing over or just west of Tampa Bay, for example), the impacts could have been much worse. Still, the storm likely caused billions of dollars worth of damage.
The goal of every hurricane is to get its name retired, and Irma will most likely be retired following a single use. The previous name in Irma’s slot of the six-year cycle, Irene, was used for four separate hurricanes (1981, 1999, 2005, 2011), including two that struck the U.S. (1999 in south FL and 2011 along the East Coast) before it got retired. Amateur.
Hurricanes Harvey and Irma were big storms, but for some perspective: In 2004 Florida was impacted by four hurricanes, Charley, a Category 4 hurricane that slammed into Punta Gorda near Ft. Myers and tore a swath of 100+mph winds through Orlando to Daytona, Frances, a slow moving large hurricane that struck Martin County (about 100 miles north of Miami) and made a second landfall in the Panhandle, Ivan, which struck southern Alabama but devastated coastal areas near Pensacola, and Jeanne, which looped after starting to recurve and struck Florida in almost the exact same spot as Frances. Then in late 2004 a tremendous earthquake in the Indian Ocean shook the entire planet and generated massive tsunami waves that killed hundreds of thousands of people in more than a dozen countries. Then in 2005 the U.S. had Cindy (Carolinas), Dennis (Gulf Coast), Irene (East Coast), Katrina (south Florida and then devastation of New Orleans and the MS/AL Gulf Coast), Ophelia (brushed the Carolinas), Rita (hit the Florida Keys and then slammed SW Louisiana), and Wilma (became the deepest hurricane on record in the Atlantic and later swiped across Florida as a Cat 3, bringing a huge swath of hurricane force winds across the entire south FL metro). Four Atlantic basin hurricanes that year attained Category 5 intensity, the storms ultimately had to be named using the Greek alphabet because there were so many (we got to Zeta).
Enough Divorces,
However, I hope other posters would agree that there are unfortunately many situations that would have been workable had it been addressed early on with a competent mutual couple’s therapist, but had unfortunately ended with divorce on account of an individual therapist who addressed only one side, seeing things in black and white, thereby causing an escalation of the conflict to the point of no return.
Yes, I would agree with this.
Joseph,
No. Chazal clearly say that a woman is better off with a bad husband than being divorced/single.
You changed the wording. “Bad” could be many things. I said wicked.
Syag Lchochma,
but I think a better description would be that nobody is free of some blame. Yes, abuse victims are not AT ALL to blame for the abuse. But within the MARRIAGE, there MAY be areas of blame to be placed on both parties.
I agree that that is largely the case; however, would you agree that bringing up the other spouse’s wrongdoings in order to parry responsibility for one’s own wrongdoing is counterproductive and harmful to a relationship?
She found out her husband had not only been going to counseling,
Wow, the fact that her husband was in counseling and she didn’t know is already a tremendous red flag, even before we read what’s below.
but that the thereapist recommended that he follow up on his feelings of being attracted to other men and “be true to himself” instead of stifling himself in a false relationship that wouldn’t be fair to anyone.
Obviously a counselor with the “values” of the secular culture, not frumkeit. It boggles my mind how some therapists give such direct, life altering advice, rather than helping the client achieve his stated goals (assuming he went to counseling to seek help improving his marriage).
Separate from the underlying attraction issue, is that really how you steer someone who is ALREADY in a marriage and just had a second child? Is that REALLY in everyone (or anyone’s best interest?) That therapist did a lot to convince him that he was hurting his wife by staying with her and that he should explore who he really is.
R”L
M,
Your rebbi might be a malach Hashem, but perhaps you want to have a different marriage than he does? Perhaps he is rarely home, doesn’t cook, clean, shop, or help with the children. That’s perfectly ok and I sincerely believe that he and his wife can be genuinely happy with that arrangement. But maybe you won’t be. Or your wife won’t be. There’s no guarantee that two people will want the same things in a marriage, even if they did 10 or 20 years ago when they got married.
If I want to buy a new car, I may save money for a down payment by avoiding eating out for a year or two, even though I love eating out. I want both, but decided that the car is my priority, so I made a choice consistent with those values.
A Jewish husband’s marriage, as a part of his avodas Hashem, is a TOP priority. Therefore, he is willing to make a lot of accommodations in his life for his wife. A Jewish wife’s marriage is also a top priority for her, and therefore she also is willing to make a lot of accommodations to her husband. That’s a lot of accommodation power to work with.
I’m not saying that wanting different things from a marriage is a valid justification to get divorced, but I think it’s a reasonable one.
What are we talking about, one spouse who wants children and the other not? Or one spouse wants to move to Florida, and the other Montana?
Remember that according to Beis Hillel valid justifications for divorce include הקדיחה תבשילו and according to R’ Akiva include מצא אחרת נאה הימנה. Can you believe that?! Would you approve of these “justifications”/”excuses”? Maybe these would be insufficient — or even “liberal” — reasons in your eyes, but they are reasonable to R’ Akiva and Beis Hillel.
Perhaps a man who would divorce his wife for trivial reasons is so wicked that his wife is better off without him?
All of these situations are terribly sad — people whose lives are upended, whose dreams are shattered, children hurt, and often it’s not because of any one person’s fault, maybe not either of their faults. Maybe they just fell out of love, or were never in love in the first place, and they want something else now.
Sounds awfully selfish to me.
and thought it was in yours and your spouse’s and childrens’ best interest to work towards ending it, I would be understanding, even if the mizbayech will shed many tears.
That’s very different from what you wrote in the rest of the paragraph.
midwesterner,
Virtually exactly what Enough Divorces said.
No, it is the exact opposite of what Enough Divorces is saying. If each spouse is laser focused on what s/he is personally doing right or wrong in the relationship, and consistently maintains a perspective of the longer term goals of the relationship, then a healthy marriage is possible. But, in a world where there is no right and wrong, because even though you may have done something wrong, your spouse did too, so stop blaming because it’s canceled out, there is NO focus on personal responsibility. The spouses are laser focused on what the other spouse is doing rather than themselves, and that is R”L a path to destruction.
We frequently hear, “it takes two to tango”, but forget that that goes for good behavior as much as or even more than for fighting.
anIsraeliYid,
So no, it’s not necessarily a bad thing that counselors can hasten divorce.
To be clear, I was not intending to imply that the intentions of marriage counselors in my question to CTLawyer above were desirable or right. Joseph’s OP seems to be a polemic against marriage counseling, because marriage counseling “fails” most of the time. But there is a difference between utilizing counseling to better a relationship, and utilizing counseling to help with the path of separation. I suspect that CTLawyer’s observation quoted by the OP is true at least in part because he sees the results of counseling for the latter purpose a lot of the time.
Enough Divorces,
1. Verbally abusive is a relative term and covers a wide spectrum.
No it’s not, and no it doesn’t. When I write verbally or physically abusive, I mean a pattern of behavior that makes a safe and healthy marriage impossible.
2. A spouse’s reaction, tolerance and understanding towards her/his spouse’s behaviour has more to do with her/his own personality, issues, and communication skills, than it has to do with who’s right or wrong.
You are conflating two completely separate concepts. Yes, a person owns his/her feelings and responses to someone else. If someone snaps at his/her spouse, the spouse has a choice of whether I think, “s/he snapped at me because s/he’s had a hard day and is very tired, I should let this go”, or “s/he hates me.” But the choice of response has NOTHING to do with the inherent rightness or wrongness of the other spouse’s behavior. Nor the obligation to treat one’s spouse lovingly and with respect, which does not go away just because your spouse is a tzaddik. Hashem knows what is in your heart.
3. Dirty socks and dishes most likely include underlying passive agressiveness as a way of countering the spouse’s previous behavior, which indicates weak communication skills s on her/his part.
Wow, first you admonish me about the importance of responsibility for how you respond, and then you come up with this gem of unfavorable judgement?
Actually you are the one making DANGEROUS comments, as it’s your attitude that is leading to an alarming divorce rate in our community to the detriment of yiddeshe kinder.
Since you seem to believe that you know my thoughts and attitude, can you save me the typing time and spell them out for me?
yribs,
ok good they should be fine evn witha direct hit
Explain?
yribs,
they should at least get out of miami and as far north and west as they could get.
A panicked, unplanned evacuation is not a good idea. Given track uncertainty, no part of Florida is necessarily safer than another at this point. If you live in a mobile home, or know that your home is unsafe due to substandard construction, existing damage, etc. then evacuation is necessary. Same if your home is in a mandatory evacuation zone and an evacuation order is issued. These zones are established due to the threat of storm surge inundation, not winds. With precautions taken (putting up storm shutters, having a supply of water and non-perishable food), riding it out if you are not in an evacuation zone and have a safe place to be may be the safest decision. Note that evacuation doesn’t necessarily mean driving hundreds of miles either. It can mean going to a friend or relative’s house that is stronger built or further inland, or as a last resort, going to a hurricane shelter.
Breaking windows in a hurricane creates several hazards:
1. The broken glass itself
2. Strong winds entering the home, causing debris to fly around
3. Strong winds inside the home can increase the chances of the roof coming offHurricane shutters or plywood placed over the windows can mitigate these dangers. If you do not have the windows covered, do not put tape on them, because it won’t stop the windows from breaking, and may make the glass projectiles bigger if they do break. Find a windowless room as close to the center of the house as possible, and make this the safe room. Put food and water, a radio, batteries, blankets, pillows, etc. inside. Closing other interior doors is a good idea.
CTLawyer,
Would I be wrong in assuming that the state law mandating marriage counseling (and the counselors themselves) do not consider “saving” the marriage to be the goal, but rather that the divorce process is more amicable?
Enough Divorces,
DY, actually I’m saying that there is no right and wrong, but rather that in every conflict both sides contribute (regardless of percent ratios), so both sides are both right and wrong.
This is a dangerously wrongheaded sentiment. If, for example, one spouse is unfaithful, or verbally or physically abusive, the fact that the other spouse leaves dirty dishes in the sink sometimes, or socks on the floor sometimes, or has brief moments of insensitivity or reactivity, is irrelevant to the actual conflict that is tearing the marriage apart. All spouses have these moments, because everyone is human, yet healthy marriages are largely unaffected by them. To put minor and normal flaws on the same pedestal as unhealthy, destructive behavior in some inane effort to ensure nobody’s precious feelings are hurt and that there is “no right and wrong” (?!!!) will do nothing but provide justification for the spouse engaging in the destructive behavior to continue.
Meno,
When your wall gets dislodged from your house and crashes into your neighbor’s living room, they’ll be able to read it then.
chananya,
I’ve never received answers to the following questions that drive a stake right through this propaganda:
I don’t consider myself a proponent of age gap or any other theory. As a “BT” with young children, I have little personal experience with these issues. Your questions (challenges), however, don’t seem to drive a stake through anything.
1. Proponents of this theory inevitably believe in the concept of a bashert and that God created a soul-mate for every person born. So how do they explain from a theological perspective how God could possibly be responsible for a demographic imbalance, as only He could be?
I would guess that proponents of the age gap theory would agree that everyone has a designated besheret, but that personal and communal behavior may prevent people from finding their besheret.
2. How is it moral and ethical for a shadchan to suggest anything other than the most suitable match for her client, and instead let a presumed demographic issue factor into her matchmaking?
I would guess that proponents of the age gap theory would answer that shadchanim are already not suggesting suitable matches for their clients due to societal constraints.
3. How is it moral and ethical for a shadchan to hide from singles that they are influenced by outside factors?
I would guess that proponents of the age gap theory would reply that their advocacy is intended to highlight and tamp down outside influences that are already at play.
4. If it is true that women are at such a terrible disadvantage, why are women so quick to turn down suitors, often for the most trivial reasons? That is hardly the behavior one would expect from people who are supposedly competing for a mate from an endangered species. Did single women fail to get this memo?
1. It seems demeaning to state that “women” turn down suitors often for trivial reasons. Maybe they seem trivial to you, but to them their reasons may not be. And remember that we are discussing teenagers or early 20-somethings.
2. I would imagine that many women would prefer no marriage to a horrible one.Again, the next person who directly and pointedly responds to these questions instead of insulting me and claiming I lack mathematical acumen will be the very first.
I tried my best.
It really depends on how the laptop is intended to be used. To me, 15” is the biggest a device can be while still being easily portable. It’ll still fit into most backpacks, and there are many models out there that aren’t too heavy. I have a 14” laptop and feel it’s the perfect size for me – a balance between a good amount of screen real estate, yet easily portable since I take it on the go all of the time. A 17” laptop provides an excellent screen size for multi-tasking, but you lose portability. A device that size will be heavy, and will not easily fit into a backpack. If the laptop will be sitting on a desk most of the time, I’d go for the 17”. If you want to take it with you out of the house, or even from room to room, seriously consider a 15”.
Writing out “whatever” is such a dad thing to do. Kids these days write U+1F644
chabadgal,
The issue with smartphones isnt that theyre necessarily bad, it is that they are new.
Technically, if you dont trust yourself with a smartphone, you shouldnt trust yourself with having chicken and cheese in your fridge together, shoudnt trust yourself with having electricity in your house during shabbos etc.Smartphones are very different from chicken and cheese. Smartphones have only been around since 2007, but they have already caused massive cultural changes; affecting the way people interact with others, how they ingest and consume information, and how they raise children. There are undeniably some benefits to the technology: it’s a lot harder to get lost while traveling, there’s a lot of information to learn right at your fingertips, etc. But undeniably the devices have a tremendous psychological impact, even before we get to the yetzer hara issues DaasYochid mentioned. And we don’t even know the impact.
Cars have many benefits, but would you trust a driver who takes it for a spin but can barely see out the windshield?
chabadgal,
There is nothign wrong with that. They didnt force anyone to buy it. You wouldnt complain if they were selling cases for $5 so why are you complaining if it is $42.
It’s not so simple. This is an emergency situation, and many people cannot simply access another source of water – either they are flooded out of their homes or their utility water is contaminated. And with massive power outages, currency becomes more limited to cash, making it harder for some to pay, even if they had credit or debit cards.
To take another tack, imagine if right before Sukkos, the stores selling esrogim in a town got together and decided to up the price to something ridiculous, effectively insuring that large numbers of people in the town would be unable to fulfill the mitzva of arba minim. Would there be “nothing wrong with that”?
The news media is making a big deal out of Tropical Storm Harvey’s second landfall, but in reality this landfall is a good thing because it will lessen the storm’s ability to draw moisture from the Gulf. The storm center being stalled close to the coast or over water is part of why we’ve seen such incredible rainfall accumulations in Texas and Louisiana.
Joseph,
The former is clearly worse than a short-sleeved woman.
Yes, but NOT because of the nursing, but rather the increased exposure in comparison. Less or no exposure, then the immodest dress is worse, even if everyone knows she’s nursing.
Syag Lchochma,
Comparing it to interrupting shmona esrei is beyond apples and oranges.
I did not see the context in which a comparison to interrupting davening was made in this thread, but I learned that a woman is permitted to interrupt her Shemoneh Esrei for her crying baby, although she should first try distractions like snapping fingers.
The two sides could only be”
Nursing in public – COMPLETELY COVERED vs
no nursing in public – even tho you are COMPLETELY COVEREDanyone implying that tznius allows for exposure is probably either pushing an agenda or having some parenting struggles
I agree that those are the two positions in this argument that would be consistent with a frum lifestyle, and will place myself in the former camp (with caveats). That said, I have a big problem with the attitude and motives of a shopping mall storekeeper who has no problem with immodestly dressed women wandering his store, but harasses a mother who is quietly nursing her child. To me, the discrepancies in the response of such a storekeeper is reflective of a perverse culture. And people like the storekeeper are the reason so many states have laws protecting nursing mothers in the first place.
Joseph,
Avram, someone not infected with the perverse mores of secular society would consider a woman in a short sleeve shirt in public as severely worse than a woman publicly nursing in the open?
Provided we are not talking about a “wild eyed” activist as Gadolhadorah described above, yes. Most women, Jewish or not, are uncomfortable nursing in a public place, and try to do so as discreetly as possible. One would have to be invading her space terribly to see anything problematic. There is no flaunting going on. If airports, restaurants, waiting rooms, etc. had clean, comfortable, and private nursing spaces available, I think the vast majority of mothers would happily take advantage of them.
Gadolhadorah,
Even among non-frum women, most will seek to discreetly nurse even in public
This speaks to the need for private nursing spaces in public places. In a society that cherishes children, it’s as necessary as the necessary, and those spaces should not be in the necessary.
apushatayid,
I’m sure there is plenty of medical literature about the dangers of holding oneself back from reliving themselves, yet, noone will advocate doing so in the middle of the mall or in front of others in a restaurant.
1. Bad comparison – the activities you reference leave behind foul and potentially infected waste products. Even if modesty were completely removed from the equation, those activities would still be forbidden in public areas and food service facilities. Nursing leaves behind no waste.
2. Most public and private spaces provide ample access to facilities for taking care of those needs. Although increasing, most public and private spaces provide little to no facilities for nursing.
3. There is no comparison between the immodest exposure of your examples and the little to no exposure from nursing. Immodest dress is way worse, but due to a misogynistic and anti-child secular culture, many people are nonsensically more offended by nursing.The discussion is not, should a woman be allowed to nurse in public areas, of course she should, the only discussion is, should government legislate that they be properly covered while doing so.
If the government is to begin legislating public modesty, dress codes would be a much higher priority than nursing mothers. Except that secular culture is insane.
Joseph,
You fail to see a difference in severity between exposing what you suggested and what I suggested?
Sorry, only someone woefully infected with the perverse mores of secular society would believe that a mother nursing “publicly” is worse than someone immodestly dressed.
Joseph,
Appealing to authority (i.e. Torah authorities) in an argument is the correct and proper way to argue Jewish issues and issues affecting Jews.
Absolutely. But it doesn’t mean anyone has to listen to bogus misinterpretations of what the Torah authorities have said.
akuperma,
The myth that is agreed on
Who agrees? All evidence to the contrary that there is any agreement.
is that the southern rebels were an honorable opponent (and ignoring that slavery was the major issue), and after the war we all became friends again.
The effects of the Civil War are still deeply felt in the U.S.
The alternative to the myth is to let the old wounds fester.
The wounds are very much festering. Have you never opened your eyes and looked at this country?
One doesn’t want losers to go around with a chip on their shoulder
You obviously have not visited the South.
OP (use a capital G),
Recently, our communities have begun to recognize and accept drug abuse, alcoholism, and narcotics abuse.
What do you mean by accept? To consider it a problem that requires treatment?
Why is it that food addiction is not becoming accepted? Why are people being shunned for being overweight while it sometimes isn’t their fault -as they are addicted?
I think drug addicts and alcoholics are shunned much more than overweight people, even though the first two are increasingly being recognized as potential sufferers from mental health issues who require treatment. Alcohol and drug abuse has a profoundly destructive impact on not just the person, but those around him. Weight issues or food addiction also has a negative impact, but not anywhere near the same degree. So yes, food addiction or compulsive eating requires treatment, and can be tricky to treat because we cannot just quit food, but it’s not as much of a “crisis” as other addictions.
Lilmod Ulelamaid,
Does he really hold of the hashkafa or is he actually against it and deliberately trying to make it look bad?
I am certain that this happens in the CR, and unfortunately it’s not an uncommon occurrence.
CTLAWYER,
Most white southerners did not own slaves. The average soldier in the Civil War was supporting his state. This was on both sides. The idea of fighting for the country really evolved much later.
1. Just because most white southerners did not own slaves does not mean that they had no opinion on slavery. If you want to know why the 11 southern states seceded from the Union, just read their secession declarations. Enslaved African Americans made up a significant percentage of the southern population, particularly in South Carolina, and non-slaveholding whites feared the impacts of emancipation or a slave revolt.
2. How can you say that the idea of fighting for the country evolved much later when Lincoln’s rationale for the war was preservation of the Federal Union? And yes, most soldiers fought as part of state regiments, but the cohesive Army of the Potomac was formed by July 1861, early in the war, after the need for a large, unified and well trained army became clear following the debacle at Bull Run.Syag Lchochma,
Hatzola members would be trained to handle such a situation
Gadolhadorah,
Hatzola members are trained extensively on how/when to intervene in domestic abuse situations, including when to summon police or other first responders
That’s good information to know.
Health,
In the OP’s case, there probably is the option of calling Hatzolah, which is preferable, in this case!
Ok, so let’s play it out. Suppose Hatzola agrees to go to your neighbor’s house without clear information on what’s going on. And they arrive in the midst of a potentially dangerous domestic situation, R”L. Or they knock on the door and get no response, but hear disturbing noises inside. What do they do?
Health,
Who said a crime is occuring?
If you don’t know – call EMS!In my area, calling 911 gets you a dispatcher who, based on the information you give, either routes you to medical, fire, or police. Getting to pick which one goes to the neighbors may not be possible. I don’t think EMS wants to show up alone and uninvited in the midst of a potentially dangerous situation.
I doubt a Roomba would survive my house.
Gadolhadorah,
If the minhag in the alte heim when entering the court of a king was to REMOVE your hat or head covering, why is the mesorah to wear a hat when davening to show respect for hashem, melech malchei ha’malachim???
Do you think Judaism originated in Europe? The custom to remove headgear likely originated as a sign of respect/subservience – a knight or warrior removing his helm to show identity, respect, and vulnerability. In ancient Rome on the other hand, covering one’s head showed subservience, which noblemen didn’t like to do, but it happens to be exactly what we are intending to convey by covering our heads before Hashem.