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Chabadshlucha,
So when I say chassidus 101 I am referring to Chabad chassidus.
For the purposes of respectful interactions, it’s probably best to write out Chabad chassidus when interacting with Jews who are not Lubavitchers. If someone explained a non-Chabad idea to you and told you he was explaining Judaism to you, you’d probably be offended.
Sechel HaYashar,
I don’t know where you get these sheer and utter nonsensical statements from, do they teach them in school or did you make it up? The Rebbe zy”a never said not to fast on YK. Nor did he say Moshiach is already here.
DaasYochid didn’t say he did either. The point of his question is, what exactly happened that caused the messianic fervor to increase in those specific years?
Joseph,
ChabadShlucha: When do you plan on answering the questions in the very first post (the OP) of this thread?
Well, before I answer that, we need to make sure that we have an understanding of what we mean by “question”. To facilitate this, I will present a 15 shiurim course on the subject for you lucky participants in this thread over the next week or so. Once that is completed and there are no further questions, we can address your questions. Except that since I just said there are no further questions, there will be nothing to address. Any questions?
RebYidd23,
Would anyone notice if it were all replaced by soft cheese blended with milk?
Besides the changes in taste and texture, the spike in food-related illnesses would be a clear giveaway.
If they haven’t already, demand that the collection agency first contact you in writing. First contact should never be by phone, and do not give out any personal information over the phone. The collection agency must provide you their name, telephone number, name of the creditor, the amount owed, when the debt was incurred, and who is responsible for the debt. You can also send them letters specifying how you want or don’t want to be contacted. If they are repeatedly calling you, calling you late at night, threatening you, or publicizing your debt to anyone other than a credit score agency, their behavior is likely illegal. Keep records of all communications and interactions and contact the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.
Chabadshlucha,
The part that’s universal is that we all have a breakfast, which at it’s core, is one with Hashem
Right, but some (Chabad) eat it before davening, while most wait until afterwards.
I don’t ever wear sandals, but up north I think it’s a fashion faux pas to wear them between Labor Day and Memorial Day anyway.
My personal way to dress for cold (assuming no rain/snow falling, which would lower the criteria):
60s – no extra layers unless it’s very windy (it’s warm in the sun, but may feel chilly in the shade in the low 60s with wind, so I’d bring a light jacket)
50s – light jacket
40s – light jacket if outside for short time, hat and coat if outside for a longer time (e.g., walking to shul on Shabbos), add gloves and earmuffs if windy.
30s – coat if outside for short time, add hat, gloves, earmuffs if outside for a long time or windy.
20s – coat, hat, gloves, scarf, maybe warm boots
10s – same, definitely warm boots, also add thermal pants if outside for a long time and windy
Single digits – same, add thermal shirt if windy, try to cover my face with my scarf
Below 0 – Extremely rare in my area, not safe to have exposed skin outside for long, especially if windy. Would wrap scarf around my face, or get a face mask. Possibly wear a second thin layer of gloves under my normal gloves.770Chabad,
Because you still can write a letter stick in in the iggris koidesh
Who do you believe reads the letter after it is placed?
or go to the ohel
Do you daven to Hashem there, or speak to the Rebbe?
From a Chabad standpoint, is it proper to write “the Rebbe [Menachem Mendel Schneerson] ZT”L”?
DaasYochid,
When I asked a Lubavicher chossid whether the benches in his beis medrash/shul were occupied with people learning at night, his answer was, “that’s not our focus”.
Did he happen to mention what their focus was?
What does the southern hemisphere have to do with anything? Florida, for example, has a pronounced rainy season that runs from late May through late October/early November, as do many northern hemisphere locations with a monsoon climatology. Israel has a Mediterranean climate that is somewhat similar to California, relying on the southerly winter storm track to transport moisture. I thought mashiv haruach umorid hageshem was tied specifically to the rainy season in eretz Yisroel.
DaasYochid,
Go easy on Syag Lchochma , she has to wear tichels because all hubby buys for her are Paula Young wigs. All of these dancingmom posts are her attempt to justify his behavior and cover for the fact that he’s a cheapskate. That might end soon, however. First, he says that she’s not his friend, and then one evening last week before bed she saw his briefcase knocked over. Underneath the Rav Miller tapes were a bunch of milky way bars, small sized like Halloween candy. He claimed that he had a cold and a Rav told him it was ok, but she wondered why he had asked that Rav all the way across town instead of their own Rav.
DaasYochid,
So if the temperature in the room were precisely the same as your body temperature, there would still be a cooling effect?
Yes due to the evaporation. And if the air was that hot and also saturated, the only question would be whether the heat stroke or superstorm gets you first.
DaasYochid,
Now answer this: why does a fan make us feel cooler if it’s the same temperature air circulating?
1. Evaporation is a cooling process (changing water from liquid to vapor takes heat energy), so our sweat is designed to help cool us off. Moving the air over the sweat increases the rate of evaporation.
2. The moving air generates forced convection that transfers heat away from our bodies.Lightbrite,
Does room temperature food feel cold when you eat it because it’s cooler than the inside of your mouth, which is usually somewhere around 98.5 degrees?
Room temperature is certainly colder than the inside of your mouth, but I think our conceptions of “hot” and “cold” food are driven more by expectation. Consider room temperature water – most people don’t consider that to be “cold” when drinking it.
And if it does feel cold because it’s cooler than our mouths, how come we cannot just breathe on our food to heat it?
You can warm cold food by breathing on it, just like you can warm your hands in the winter by breathing on them.
Joseph,
“Let’s split it!”
always runs with scissors fast,
In fact, though, I think he may have a serious sleep disorder because some mornings he claims he wasn’t aware that he ate or drank. He just goes through like a whole honey cake with his paws, it mamish looks like a bear has been through it, leaving a heavy trail of crumbs all over
There is such a thing as nocturnal sleep-related eating disorder (NS-RED), where someone can prepare food or eat while not fully conscious. Maybe a doctor’s visit would be more productive than hiding food, since he’s saying he’s not aware of the nighttime eating.
Someone who values a cookie over the happiness of his spouse is a slave to his stomach.
apushatayid,
If the questioner was my son, I would say it depends where they are in the relationship.
Is it ok to take my wife to the pizza shop?
slominer,
Is it okay to take a girl to a pizza shop on a date (during one of the first few dates)?
Ask her!
One difference: Freddyfish capitalizes Baltimore, but does not capitalize monsey.
A man comes to mincha at a shul in some place away from the Northeast. Seeing an unfamiliar face, the gabbai approaches, greets him in a friendly manner, and asks if he’s from out of town.
A Lakewoodite responds: Yes, I’m visiting from Lakewood.
A Flatbusher responds: No, YOU’RE from out of town!
Joseph,
Telemarketers or scammers spoofed my wife’s number, and she got a call back from a stranger wondering why she had called them… But she never had.
Coffee Room Fund
Joseph,
Mussaf can be said all day.
ר’ הודה אומר עד ז׳ שעות
Joseph,
Do you sing “Yedid Nefesh” on Shabbos at Shalosh seudos? Does it bother you that we call Hashem our friend, among numerous other parental terms of endearment?
Joseph,
Any response to my speculation above as for why “friend” has become a marital term of endearment?
Tom Dick n Harry,
Thank you for taking the time to clarify your point – I found it extremely helpful.
Marriage is a union with a purpose. The essential purpose is to give the person his completeness.
I agree, but would add that the purpose is to also to expand oneself through devotion to his/her spouse, and to emulate Hashem, who cares for us, by caring for our spouse. The desire for completeness drives a man to seek a wife.
As they function this way together, they need to be true friends. They need to make sure their other half is content and well in every sense possible. If they don’t so then they are shooting their own selves in the foot, so to speak. As they function as a union, united in purpose, and complete loyalty and with this true friendship, they will tremendously enjoy working together. Working together with that type of unity and friendship is pleasurable beyond anything else.
I agree with everything you wrote here.
But they are not together in recreation, (except to the extent that that’s what they believe is needed to help achieve the goals) but together in purpose. That is true togetherness.
I don’t fully agree with this. While it’s true that spouses don’t need to share their superficial interests, I think it’s important for spouses to spend “recreational” time together too, and to find mutual recreational interests. Husband loves to play chess. Wife does not play, and has no interest in the game. Fine. Husband can go play chess with Shlomo each week, and Wife is delighted that her husband gets to do something he enjoys. But they should find other ways to spend time together; it’s just another way to show commitment to each other.
Whereas togetherness in recreation is not really togetherness, because basically everyone is only thinking about his or her own good time.
That’s a rather dim view of recreation. If that were really the case, I’d say that all recreation should be avoided.
So while they don’t share recreational interests, since they share goals, that’s where the friendship kicks in, and they will enjoy each others company far more that simply by sharing the same taste in fun activities.
That’s fine, but I also think the couple should try to find recreational activities they both enjoy.
As a side point, my understanding is that Joseph is asking because he wants to know what to look for in a shidduch.
I seriously doubt that, so don’t be worried on his behalf.
I think it’s unfair to him, and potentially damaging, to give the impression that it’s about finding a buddy for recreation, or even partly about that. That’s not a good message for a person looking for a shidduch and also not for married person. In a shidduch they should be looking for a fine person with whom they would have a common goal and with whom they could have a caring and growing relationship.
In terms of finding a shidduch, I agree. Similar interests does not necessarily mean compatibility, and vice versa. But once married, build some mutual interests together!
Joseph,
Just as you probably wouldn’t describe her as your roommate, I would think that describing her as your wife is more appropriate than describing her as your friend.
I agree with you 100%, without a doubt. I think the reason “my wife is my best friend” has become a term of endearment is due to the surrounding culture, which presents a toxic view of marriage. Wives called the old ball and chain, or the nag. The ridiculous non-Jewish custom to have one last “fun” party before the wedding, implying that the “fun” stops after marriage. The pervasive message that husbands and wives don’t enjoy each other is terrible, and I personally don’t mind any attempt to counteract that. When someone asks, “who is your best friend?”, they are asking who is liked the most, and I think it’s totally appropriate to put one’s spouse there, even if “friend” is not a comprehensive term to describe the marital relationship.
Lilmod Ulelamaid,
Since I have a high opinion of your intelligence, I assumed that you hadn’t read my posts carefully, and that if you had done so, you would not have misunderstood.
If someone who I believe is highly intelligent misunderstands something I wrote and also states that he read it carefully, I would assume that what I wrote must not have clearly conveyed what I was intending it to convey. Even if I thought I stated it well, at the end of the day I’m not writing for myself, I’m writing to communicate. So my next step would be to attempt to clarify or rephrase what I’m trying to communicate, using the misunderstanding as a guide. Questioning the intelligence or honesty of the audience, however, is counterproductive.
Joseph,
What does it mean to describe a spouse as a friend?
The basic definition of friendship is a relationship based on mutual affection – two people who like each other. I would think that this is extremely important in a marriage. When someone says his spouse is his best friend, it is a way of expressing affection for her.
Tom Dick n Harry,
I can explain this but it’s rather lengthy and technical
Please do, because I have no idea what you are trying to say.
lesschumras,
Joseph, another reason I don’t follow Rabbi Miller. The first time I saw my wife to be it was love at first sight.
1. I don’t think Rav Miller (and I am assuming that we’re reading a faithful reproduction of his words – I cannot independently verify it to be the case) stated that a man would not have love at first sight upon finding his wife. I would imagine that most men do. The message is that love at first sight is not necessarily an indicator of compatibility for marriage.
2. Ever hear of survivor bias?
Unlike Rav Miller’s stereotypes, she did not paint her eyes, face or nails.
I think this was just a colorful way to address physical beauty vs. inner beauty.
Besides her beauty, what really shone through was her chesed, character and sweetness. We’ve been married 46 wonderful years
That’s wonderful! Did you really see her chesed, character, and sweetness the very first instant you saw her? Or did those middos shine through as you got to know her?
out of town yid,
If there is a Chabad shul anywhere in the vicinity, they are likely getting large orders of cholov Yisroel products shipped to them. You can contact them and ask if they can add some products for you onto their order.
Define reasonable. And safe.
Joseph,
In Monsey you can buy raw, non-pasteurized, Cholov Yisroel milk.
Mmmmm, I love E-Coli in my morning coffee.
Lightbrite,
How do you define “skim milk”?
Opaque water. If it ain’t whole milk, it ain’t milk.
#RealMilkHasARedLid
Is the need for multiple alarms in the morning because you sleep through the first few perhaps related to the loud music?
Don’t worry, submerged continents don’t count, so your original seven are safe.
Joseph,
Anyways, other than Baltimore (which I think uses the same color codes for milk), where are there other U.S. brands of Cholov Yisroel milk?
I’ve seen a brand called Tevye Farms in Florida.
zahavasdad,
Not every problem has a solution
Cluck cluck cluck cluck bwaaaaaaaak! I’m referring to a hypothetical where there is a solution. Which would you choose?
DaasYochid,
There’s got to be a better way for you to feel good about yourself than putting down the MO.
Well, there’s always putting down women. And Zionists. And liberals. And OOT communities.
zahavasdad,
The Language is part of the boredom and the translation is really useless (Try reading it and see if it makes sense)
I actually perceive much of the Artscroll English translations to be very well done and powerful, and there are commentaries on the bottom of the pages of the English/Hebrew siddur that provide further explanations.
Of course where there is a will, there is a way, but mussor really wont solve the problem here (I have no solutions..Only pointing out where the problem is) For whatever reason it tends to fall on deaf ears
So if you could magically fix the problem, which route would you choose? Would you replace the Hebrew/Aramaic tefillos with some good, entertaining English stuff, or would you open people’s hearts to the traditional tefillos?
I have heard from Rabbanim that speeding up the davening does cut down on the talking so OP has backing when he posts that.
Sure, less talking can be accomplished in 2 hours than 3, and faster davening yields fewer talking opportunities for those who are actually trying to say all of the tefillos.
Joseph,
Christians and Conservative/Reform go to their Church or Temple once a week, if even that. Jews go three times a day. So to compare, is to miss the mark.
That may be, but I think it has more to do with the structure and purpose of the respective services. Christian and Reform services are akin to performances – there is instrumental music, theatrical sermons, etc. and the congregants are largely a passive audience. The central aspect of Orthodox Jewish services, on the other hand, is tefilla, which is personal, and congregants must be active to fulfill their obligations.
zahavasdad,
Most people talk in shul because they are bored. For whatever they are bored in shul. Have you ever seen someone stop to talk when they are doing something they find exciting
You may be partly right about this; however, is the problem with the davening itself, or with the bored people? Your initial post seemed to point a finger at the davening due to a language barrier, but, as nishtdayngesheft pointed out, one can use a translation, or work to improve their skills. One can also add his own thoughts and personal tefillos to the davening to make it more personal and less rote. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
But all of that is really beside the point. One can be bored and yet still realize that davening is important and that it is assur to talk and disturb others. So really, talking in shul goes beyond boredom and reflects a lack of respect.
BoysWork,
In some of the more modern shuls that I davened in, the mispalelim are much more respectful during davening and laining. For the past couple of years, I have been davening in a small minyan in someone’s home (out of convenience). This minyan has attracted many chasidish young married men, who seem to think that the minyan is a social club.
That was a totally unnecessary juxtaposition. You could have contrasted long shul davening with no talking vs. quick davening in someone’s home with talking and made your point just fine, without disparaging other Jews.
awarenessvaad,
Um…. what?
gotrump,
has anyone, that went through a DIVORCE tell me major mistakes on his/her end.
Somehow I don’t see a host of volunteers lining up for that.
If your true goal is to learn skills that are important for a healthy and happy marriage, why don’t you ask people blessed with healthy and happy marriages what they do?
lesschumras,
Nisht, believe what you want and use any euphemism that makes you happy but it’s Hebrew.
By kaddish, berich shmei demarei alema, and yekum purkan on Shabbos I disagree. But for most everything else, yes, Hebrew 🙂
DaasYochid,
Just imagine how bad the talking problem would be if they shlepped!
Maybe they’d form a kiddush club and leave.