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To strengthen Mammele’s suggestion with personal experience: a few months ago there was an avel who served as shaliach tzibbur a lot at my shul. He, for some reason, had completely changed his havara to something other than what his original custom was, and it was a type of pronunciation that was both very uncommon and not consistent. Additionally, he literally sounded uncomfortable pronouncing some of the words in shemoneh esrei with these changes – coughing, lose his breath, etc. – which made it painful to listen to. I felt very annoyed, and would inwardly groan when he went to the amud, and I felt guilty at the same time for being annoyed. One evening after maariv it was raining and I saw him walking home, so I offered him a ride. He politely refused, but after that point we would greet each other in shul if we crossed paths. I found that my annoyance was still there, but substantially reduced.
litvishechossid,
Just wondering. Does anyone think the landing was real or not.
Real.
The technology they used was less than an iphone 5. How is that possible?
Apples and oranges. Your iPhone5 can’t drive you to the store, but the automobile, which has been around in some form since 1886, can.
Their equipment moonwalkers and all looked like they were wrapped in aluminum foil and created in an arts and crafts project. If it really occured then it is mighty impressive.
None of the equipment looked like that to me. Have you seen any of it in person, e.g., at the Kennedy Space Center in FL, or the Air and Space Museums in DC? Keep in mind that whatever the astronauts took to the moon had to be launched up there from Earth. They couldn’t bring the kitchen sink with them! There had to be a balance between the safety threshold and the weight threshold. So aesthetics took a backseat to functionality. Maybe some day in the future humans will be able to wield sleek, powerful looking spacecraft.
If they did it back in 69 using practically an iphone 5, why cant they do it today? Isnt technology much more advanced?
Computing technology is certainly orders of magnitude more advanced, but other technologies such as rockets, spacecraft, etc. are not much more advanced. The Apollo Program was extremely rushed, and there was a gigantic budget, so a lot of waste was tolerated. Huge Saturn V rockets launched 3-part spacecraft, only 1 part of which returned to Earth and was not reused.
The Space Shuttle program was an attempt to bring down the costs of space travel yet still transport heavy items to orbit via reusable vehicles, but it was still extremely expensive. The fuel tanks couldn’t be reused (they burned up on re-entry), the solid fuel booster rockets had to be found in the ocean and repaired/refurbished, and the shuttles themselves required extensive maintenance and took large amounts of time to become spaceworthy again after a mission. The high costs of the shuttle program probably hampered other things NASA could have been doing. And NASA’s budget is a fraction of what it was during the space race with the USSR.
Is it odd that humanity left a footprint on the otherwise untouched and pure moon?
It’s amazing!
If Moshiach were to come from the dead, wouldn’t Dovid Mamelech himself be the ideal candidate?
Take a picture of your dog chewing up a stick in the back yard, and you with the menora and latkes. Sticks are for dogs, Chanukah is for Jewish humans. You’ll both be happy š
Avi K,
2. Why donāt they says the tefilla for the Medina or at least the misheberach forthe soldiers. Do they not want Hashem to give us a wise government? Do they not want the soldiers to come back in one piece?
I don’t think this is fair. One can care about the welfare of the soldiers and pray for the government, yet still feel uncomfortable with making structural changes to the tefilla, or adding moadim to the calendar.
3. I agree that those who are really learning should have some kind of deferment. What about learning in an IDF bet midrash in a hesder-type arrangement and saying that it is for the merit of the troops? Why not become chaplains and give shurim?
In theory, I think that’s a wonderful idea. I think the chareidim, however, distrust the army’s intentions – they see the army as desiring to assimilate them, to change their lifestyles. And, frankly, the army has done little to ameliorate those concerns, and a lot to amplify them.
Would it not be much better for them to go into the army, get out their aggressions in a socially acceptable manner and the get jobs after they have cooled off?
Aggression is not something that can be vented. Acting out on anger only leads to more anger, it does not dissipate it. A change of attitude is required.
I think they’re talking about the thread title, which was kind of strange, not Rav Miller’s words, which were not.
Wow, I thought you were going to manage to write that entire post in one sentence, but a period finally appeared about halfway through. Still, it’s gotta be a near-CR record.
Lilmod Ulelamaid,
In the US (at least in the NY area), people tend to keep the heat on very high in the winter (not sure why people want to be hotter in the winter than in the summer, but whatever..),
When our system is set for the furnace, we keep the thermostat at 68 degrees. When it’s set for air conditioning, the thermostat is set to 74 degrees, though sometimes we pull it down to 72 on Fridays to counter all of the heat rising from the kitchen. So our house is almost never warmer in the winter than it is in the summer. I’d imagine most people set their thermostats similarly. Otherwise, the heating bills would be outrageous.
Neville ChaimBerlin,
Nah, the fireworks are plentiful, but not as bright. By the Zionist threads, Zionists are called Nazis doing maasei soton and shmadding Torah yidden, and anti-Zionists are turning their backs on Hashem and won’t go up to E”Y at the geula.
This is gentle ribbing in comparison.
770Chabad,
Why about zionist?
Try it, you’ll find out.
MoshiachChat,
I appreciate ur comment, but Iām confused about ur not looking for who is moshiach. The Sdei Chemed says people in EVERY generation are accustomed to look for who moshiach is. āAll this is obviousā he says. Why not do the custom of every generation?
I am not familiar with that Sdei Chemed, but what you are depicting as obvious I see as dangerous. We are supposed to yearn for Moshiach, because upon his coming our relationship with Hashem will be restored to the way it’s supposed to be. But even Moshe Rabbeinu had to hide in the cleft of the rock and wait until Hashem’s glory had passed before he could see. Trying to predict when, or guess who, is far more likely to lead to heartbreak and disaster than an answer. Indeed many people have been “accustomed” to look for Moshiach, and our history bears this out with story after story of false messiahs and pain. Hashem controls the entire universe. When He wants us to know, we’ll know. No need for gymnastics.
They’re valiant, but not the best tacticians. If they want to put a stop to the Chabad storm on the CR, they should open a few Zionist/anti-Zionist threads, or Tzniyus threads. Problem solved.
achdus,
Did you slip on a yellow flag on the sidewalk last week or something?
Meno,
What (frum) community is fighting over sports?
Frum communities where there are sports teams that are actually good. Unlike yours, apparently. >:)
zahavasdad,
The Agudah used to have their convention this weekend and they used to serve Turkey
Turkey means nothing unless it’s accompanied by jellied cranberries and the green bean/portabella mushroom casserole with fried onions on top. Did they serve those too?
Chabadshlucha,
The Rebbe definitely fulfilled the first four: he started the momentous baal teshuva movement as waged the wars of Hashem against assimilation the continuation of which is ongoing by his over 5000 shluchim. And all it takes to qualify is sincere effort, not complete success as that is the first of the conditions for Moshiach vadai
You can’t have it both ways. Did he fulfill it, and there are no longer any non-observant Jews and the enemies of our people are vanquished? Or did he not fulfill it? You can’t say he fulfilled it, but then say he did not, but sincere effort was all that was needed. For me to be a grocery shopper I have to go to the store and shop. I cannot drive halfway there and then be called a grocery shopper because I made a sincere effort to get to the store.
Chaim Eliezer,
How could the Rebbe have been so irresponsible as to orphan his Chssidim? Is it any wonder they have been subject to troubling ideas about him?
This doesn’t make sense. We’re not talking about young children here, but grown adults, who, per Chabadshlucha and Sechel HaYashar, are as learned or more learned than other Jews.
Chabadshlucha,
So when I say chassidus 101 I am referring to Chabad chassidus.
For the purposes of respectful interactions, it’s probably best to write out Chabad chassidus when interacting with Jews who are not Lubavitchers. If someone explained a non-Chabad idea to you and told you he was explaining Judaism to you, you’d probably be offended.
Sechel HaYashar,
I donāt know where you get these sheer and utter nonsensical statements from, do they teach them in school or did you make it up? The Rebbe zyāa never said not to fast on YK. Nor did he say Moshiach is already here.
DaasYochid didn’t say he did either. The point of his question is, what exactly happened that caused the messianic fervor to increase in those specific years?
Joseph,
ChabadShlucha: When do you plan on answering the questions in the very first post (the OP) of this thread?
Well, before I answer that, we need to make sure that we have an understanding of what we mean by “question”. To facilitate this, I will present a 15 shiurim course on the subject for you lucky participants in this thread over the next week or so. Once that is completed and there are no further questions, we can address your questions. Except that since I just said there are no further questions, there will be nothing to address. Any questions?
RebYidd23,
Would anyone notice if it were all replaced by soft cheese blended with milk?
Besides the changes in taste and texture, the spike in food-related illnesses would be a clear giveaway.
If they haven’t already, demand that the collection agency first contact you in writing. First contact should never be by phone, and do not give out any personal information over the phone. The collection agency must provide you their name, telephone number, name of the creditor, the amount owed, when the debt was incurred, and who is responsible for the debt. You can also send them letters specifying how you want or don’t want to be contacted. If they are repeatedly calling you, calling you late at night, threatening you, or publicizing your debt to anyone other than a credit score agency, their behavior is likely illegal. Keep records of all communications and interactions and contact the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.
Chabadshlucha,
The part thatās universal is that we all have a breakfast, which at itās core, is one with Hashem
Right, but some (Chabad) eat it before davening, while most wait until afterwards.
I don’t ever wear sandals, but up north I think it’s a fashion faux pas to wear them between Labor Day and Memorial Day anyway.
My personal way to dress for cold (assuming no rain/snow falling, which would lower the criteria):
60s – no extra layers unless it’s very windy (it’s warm in the sun, but may feel chilly in the shade in the low 60s with wind, so I’d bring a light jacket)
50s – light jacket
40s – light jacket if outside for short time, hat and coat if outside for a longer time (e.g., walking to shul on Shabbos), add gloves and earmuffs if windy.
30s – coat if outside for short time, add hat, gloves, earmuffs if outside for a long time or windy.
20s – coat, hat, gloves, scarf, maybe warm boots
10s – same, definitely warm boots, also add thermal pants if outside for a long time and windy
Single digits – same, add thermal shirt if windy, try to cover my face with my scarf
Below 0 – Extremely rare in my area, not safe to have exposed skin outside for long, especially if windy. Would wrap scarf around my face, or get a face mask. Possibly wear a second thin layer of gloves under my normal gloves.770Chabad,
Because you still can write a letter stick in in the iggris koidesh
Who do you believe reads the letter after it is placed?
or go to the ohel
Do you daven to Hashem there, or speak to the Rebbe?
From a Chabad standpoint, is it proper to write “the Rebbe [Menachem Mendel Schneerson] ZT”L”?
DaasYochid,
When I asked a Lubavicher chossid whether the benches in his beis medrash/shul were occupied with people learning at night, his answer was, āthatās not our focusā.
Did he happen to mention what their focus was?
What does the southern hemisphere have to do with anything? Florida, for example, has a pronounced rainy season that runs from late May through late October/early November, as do many northern hemisphere locations with a monsoon climatology. Israel has a Mediterranean climate that is somewhat similar to California, relying on the southerly winter storm track to transport moisture. I thought mashiv haruach umorid hageshem was tied specifically to the rainy season in eretz Yisroel.
DaasYochid,
Go easy on Syag Lchochma , she has to wear tichels because all hubby buys for her are Paula Young wigs. All of these dancingmom posts are her attempt to justify his behavior and cover for the fact that he’s a cheapskate. That might end soon, however. First, he says that she’s not his friend, and then one evening last week before bed she saw his briefcase knocked over. Underneath the Rav Miller tapes were a bunch of milky way bars, small sized like Halloween candy. He claimed that he had a cold and a Rav told him it was ok, but she wondered why he had asked that Rav all the way across town instead of their own Rav.
DaasYochid,
So if the temperature in the room were precisely the same as your body temperature, there would still be a cooling effect?
Yes due to the evaporation. And if the air was that hot and also saturated, the only question would be whether the heat stroke or superstorm gets you first.
DaasYochid,
Now answer this: why does a fan make us feel cooler if itās the same temperature air circulating?
1. Evaporation is a cooling process (changing water from liquid to vapor takes heat energy), so our sweat is designed to help cool us off. Moving the air over the sweat increases the rate of evaporation.
2. The moving air generates forced convection that transfers heat away from our bodies.Lightbrite,
Does room temperature food feel cold when you eat it because itās cooler than the inside of your mouth, which is usually somewhere around 98.5 degrees?
Room temperature is certainly colder than the inside of your mouth, but I think our conceptions of “hot” and “cold” food are driven more by expectation. Consider room temperature water – most people don’t consider that to be “cold” when drinking it.
And if it does feel cold because itās cooler than our mouths, how come we cannot just breathe on our food to heat it?
You can warm cold food by breathing on it, just like you can warm your hands in the winter by breathing on them.
Joseph,
“Let’s split it!”
always runs with scissors fast,
In fact, though, I think he may have a serious sleep disorder because some mornings he claims he wasnāt aware that he ate or drank. He just goes through like a whole honey cake with his paws, it mamish looks like a bear has been through it, leaving a heavy trail of crumbs all over
There is such a thing as nocturnal sleep-related eating disorder (NS-RED), where someone can prepare food or eat while not fully conscious. Maybe a doctor’s visit would be more productive than hiding food, since he’s saying he’s not aware of the nighttime eating.
Someone who values a cookie over the happiness of his spouse is a slave to his stomach.
apushatayid,
If the questioner was my son, I would say it depends where they are in the relationship.
Is it ok to take my wife to the pizza shop?
slominer,
Is it okay to take a girl to a pizza shop on a date (during one of the first few dates)?
Ask her!
One difference: Freddyfish capitalizes Baltimore, but does not capitalize monsey.
A man comes to mincha at a shul in some place away from the Northeast. Seeing an unfamiliar face, the gabbai approaches, greets him in a friendly manner, and asks if he’s from out of town.
A Lakewoodite responds: Yes, I’m visiting from Lakewood.
A Flatbusher responds: No, YOU’RE from out of town!
Joseph,
Telemarketers or scammers spoofed my wife’s number, and she got a call back from a stranger wondering why she had called them… But she never had.
Coffee Room Fund
Joseph,
Mussaf can be said all day.
×Ø’ ×××× ××××Ø ×¢× ×׳ שע××Ŗ
Joseph,
Do you sing “Yedid Nefesh” on Shabbos at Shalosh seudos? Does it bother you that we call Hashem our friend, among numerous other parental terms of endearment?
Joseph,
Any response to my speculation above as for why “friend” has become a marital term of endearment?
Tom Dick n Harry,
Thank you for taking the time to clarify your point – I found it extremely helpful.
Marriage is a union with a purpose. The essential purpose is to give the person his completeness.
I agree, but would add that the purpose is to also to expand oneself through devotion to his/her spouse, and to emulate Hashem, who cares for us, by caring for our spouse. The desire for completeness drives a man to seek a wife.
As they function this way together, they need to be true friends. They need to make sure their other half is content and well in every sense possible. If they donāt so then they are shooting their own selves in the foot, so to speak. As they function as a union, united in purpose, and complete loyalty and with this true friendship, they will tremendously enjoy working together. Working together with that type of unity and friendship is pleasurable beyond anything else.
I agree with everything you wrote here.
But they are not together in recreation, (except to the extent that thatās what they believe is needed to help achieve the goals) but together in purpose. That is true togetherness.
I don’t fully agree with this. While it’s true that spouses don’t need to share their superficial interests, I think it’s important for spouses to spend “recreational” time together too, and to find mutual recreational interests. Husband loves to play chess. Wife does not play, and has no interest in the game. Fine. Husband can go play chess with Shlomo each week, and Wife is delighted that her husband gets to do something he enjoys. But they should find other ways to spend time together; it’s just another way to show commitment to each other.
Whereas togetherness in recreation is not really togetherness, because basically everyone is only thinking about his or her own good time.
That’s a rather dim view of recreation. If that were really the case, I’d say that all recreation should be avoided.
So while they donāt share recreational interests, since they share goals, thatās where the friendship kicks in, and they will enjoy each others company far more that simply by sharing the same taste in fun activities.
That’s fine, but I also think the couple should try to find recreational activities they both enjoy.
As a side point, my understanding is that Joseph is asking because he wants to know what to look for in a shidduch.
I seriously doubt that, so don’t be worried on his behalf.
I think itās unfair to him, and potentially damaging, to give the impression that itās about finding a buddy for recreation, or even partly about that. Thatās not a good message for a person looking for a shidduch and also not for married person. In a shidduch they should be looking for a fine person with whom they would have a common goal and with whom they could have a caring and growing relationship.
In terms of finding a shidduch, I agree. Similar interests does not necessarily mean compatibility, and vice versa. But once married, build some mutual interests together!
Joseph,
Just as you probably wouldnāt describe her as your roommate, I would think that describing her as your wife is more appropriate than describing her as your friend.
I agree with you 100%, without a doubt. I think the reason “my wife is my best friend” has become a term of endearment is due to the surrounding culture, which presents a toxic view of marriage. Wives called the old ball and chain, or the nag. The ridiculous non-Jewish custom to have one last “fun” party before the wedding, implying that the “fun” stops after marriage. The pervasive message that husbands and wives don’t enjoy each other is terrible, and I personally don’t mind any attempt to counteract that. When someone asks, “who is your best friend?”, they are asking who is liked the most, and I think it’s totally appropriate to put one’s spouse there, even if “friend” is not a comprehensive term to describe the marital relationship.
Lilmod Ulelamaid,
Since I have a high opinion of your intelligence, I assumed that you hadnāt read my posts carefully, and that if you had done so, you would not have misunderstood.
If someone who I believe is highly intelligent misunderstands something I wrote and also states that he read it carefully, I would assume that what I wrote must not have clearly conveyed what I was intending it to convey. Even if I thought I stated it well, at the end of the day I’m not writing for myself, I’m writing to communicate. So my next step would be to attempt to clarify or rephrase what I’m trying to communicate, using the misunderstanding as a guide. Questioning the intelligence or honesty of the audience, however, is counterproductive.
Joseph,
What does it mean to describe a spouse as a friend?
The basic definition of friendship is a relationship based on mutual affection – two people who like each other. I would think that this is extremely important in a marriage. When someone says his spouse is his best friend, it is a way of expressing affection for her.
Tom Dick n Harry,
I can explain this but itās rather lengthy and technical
Please do, because I have no idea what you are trying to say.
lesschumras,
Joseph, another reason I donāt follow Rabbi Miller. The first time I saw my wife to be it was love at first sight.
1. I don’t think Rav Miller (and I am assuming that we’re reading a faithful reproduction of his words – I cannot independently verify it to be the case) stated that a man would not have love at first sight upon finding his wife. I would imagine that most men do. The message is that love at first sight is not necessarily an indicator of compatibility for marriage.
2. Ever hear of survivor bias?
Unlike Rav Millerās stereotypes, she did not paint her eyes, face or nails.
I think this was just a colorful way to address physical beauty vs. inner beauty.
Besides her beauty, what really shone through was her chesed, character and sweetness. Weāve been married 46 wonderful years
That’s wonderful! Did you really see her chesed, character, and sweetness the very first instant you saw her? Or did those middos shine through as you got to know her?